☁️💖🥀✨

“It’s okay that it’s over. Things end- I get that and I can accept it- and it was partly my fault anyway. But what hurts is the details. Like the fact that you probably deleted those candid pictures of me from your phone and threw away my toothbrush. And someone else is wearing the shirt you always used to let me sleep in. Those thoughts are what take time to get over.”

“And I owe so many apologies but mostly to myself. For I have been nothing but cruel to myself my entire existence.”

And no one knew what it took to become this soft. No one knew what it took out of me to rebuild myself time and time again and that’s the shitty part of recovery. No one knew how many times I had relapsed, if not physically but mentally. No one knew how many times I had to rebuild myself and my heart, no one. That’s the fucking hard part of recovery. When everyone thinks you’re constantly recovering when really you can’t get out of bed but you say you’re fine anyways. That’s depression. That’s mental illness. It’s not beautiful, it’s fucking heartbreaking.

“And I owe so many apologies but mostly to myself. For I have been nothing but cruel to myself my entire existence.”

“Grief is a never-ending process. We lose a part of ourselves in the loss of a loved one; but when we lose a parent, our very origin, well, that cuts into one’s heart, soul, the very root of what makes up our being.”