Messy Hair Messy Life

we would be so lost without garlic

truly

these memes r so similar that the vibes cancelled out and this feels like nothing.

sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful

will i ever have my shit together

I think it’s funny when it’s busy at Starbucks and the gay baristas get mean

i have the sex appeal of a math book

Tell me I’m cute or something so I can like roll my eyes at you but then blush when I think about it later

just learned that the word “ferret” is derived from the Latin word furittus meaning “LITTLE THIEF” and that a group of ferrets is called a BUSINESS and i am absolutely pleased with this new knowledge

Further evidence that “business” is just a fancy term for a gathering of thieves.

Narcissus wrote this

I refuse to believe Narcissus could read.

i’ve been thinking about this response for the better part of 2 hours and it hasn’t gotten less hysterically funny to me

night sluts

they’re called vampires

if your dom is older you call him daddy, but what if he’s younger? what am i supposed to call a hot attractive dom who is younger than me?

Women who don’t defend their daughters just to appease their husbands are traitors