Responsibility

And in a way, she didn't, or at least not at a deep level. In the Espada troops they were closer to relationship of comradery and friendship between the sexes, rather than viewing one another as potential partners. Not that Aizen would have ever allowed any romantic feelings to develop amongst his troops and distract them from their goals and duties. So, the former Tres hadn't really been able to explore any relationships exceeding that of siblings, rivals or platonic friends. Romance was something still foreign to her.

But since Hayden didn't dwell too much on the matter, she didn't either and simply shrugged her shoulders. "I guess you could put it that way. For now, maybe we could even pass you off as a new fraccione of mine, just so that we don't raise any suspicions." It was just as he'd said, when in Rome, do as the Romans. And it would really save them the bothersome of a conflict if someone found out she sheltered a random reaper (the political relationships were still running on thin ice between Hueco Mundo and Seireitei). "If that's okay with you, of course. I just dunno how my friends and siblings would react to another Shinigami infiltrating our HQ after all that happened with Aizen and his men..."

Either way, Nelliel was happy that Hayden seemed to like the room and the bathroom. It would make things easier accommodating him for the time being. So while the man went to wash himself and make full use of the luxurious facilities, the Arrancar woman saw about her things and went to procure them the necessary items she'd spoken to him about, as well as the food. She grabbed some new clothes for him, the fresh reishi rich food, a razor, scissors, a comb and towels. When she got back, it was even a miracle she could carry al of it.

Hayden will only see her again once she'd enter the bathroom sometime later, and to his surprise, wearing nothing but a small white towel wrapped around her torso and lower region. Since she'd be helping him shave and cut his hair in the bathroom, Nelliel figured it might've been better this way as not to get her armor wet.

"Hey, I am back with the shaving razor and some scissors, want me to help you wash your hair and back too?" She chimed joyfully, still having that innocent aura around her, contrasting with the less than innocent setting of them all alone, nearly naked, in her bathroom.

As he finished becoming nude he'd gaze into the mirror for a moment, looking at his sweat and grime covered body. Scars from this life, and his past one, present. A hand moves to trace one of the scars on his collar bone, a wound which he recalls to this day. The pain of a sliced bone, that he recovered at all was a miracle. The hand drops down as he takes a deep breath.

That life was still apart of him, he could still feel war on his breath. But at least here he might recover some part of him that was lost, something that was once noble. His life has become too many hues of grey. He moves to the bathtub, lifting a leg into it as he used both his hands to lower him into the steaming bubble bath. Immediately, tense muscles begin to unwind and unknit themselves. A wave of relief washes of him as he leans back in the large tub.

He'll give Aizen this, the man knew how to furnish this place.

His eyes search the tub for soap or something to use to lather his body, and he finds a precious rag folded neatly nearby. No doubt one of her's, she'll have to forgive him for using it.

By the time Nel enters he's washed a majority of his body, and is mostly soaking in the water with his eyes closed. The man looks far more peaceful than when the first met. His arms rested on either side of the lid of the tub, a low rumble leaves his throat as he replies without opening his eyes.

"There used to be hotels, in America, where one paid a lady to do those things. I never visited one." His eyes opened slowly as he turned his head to look at her, and his demeanor immediately changed. He sat up blinking sharply as he noticed her in the towel, which was to say the least a strong image for him. The beautiful Arrancar was certainly attractive, feminine surely, but to see her wrapped in nothing more than a towel perhaps proved too much for him.

His face flushed, something that could be hidden by the steamy water or at least blamed on it.

Hayden wouldn't be wrong in his assessments over the palace. With its fortified structure and strategically designed architecture, Las Noches was actually closer in design to a fortress, than a display of monarchic plenitude and luxury. All it needed right now would've been a smart and skilled military mind to resurrect and bring it back to its former glory. Of course, there were also aesthetically placed designs, like the ionic and doric styled pillars holding up the impressive arcade and arch of the giant ceiling, or the furniture that still maintained its integrity and spoke of someone who took pride in all appearances.

The aesthetic qualities of the building would then become even more apparent once they entered the former Espada's bedroom. By the looks of it, the room really evoked the image of the boudoir of a lady: silky rich drapes hanging around the massive windows leading to the nigh sky, intricately designed furniture in soft pastel colors and white, with golden accents, a huge baldachin bed throning in the middle of the room, made of sturdy wood and covered in soft sheets and fluffy pillows, flanked by two nightstands with decorative lamps on it. There were also some bookshelves, a table and a vanity stand, with various miscellaneous things scattered around and about, as well as another door leading to the adjacent bathroom. And the overall atmosphere was an orderly and clean one, with a soft floral scent added into the mix.

"Why wouldn't it be proper?" The man's question puzzles her for a moment, as she turns to look at Hayden. Being closer in nature to animals rather than their formal human past lives, Arrancar are creatures of little to no shame. Having wandered the deserts in a bare state for hundred of years, in their Hollow and Adjuchas forms, most of them don't even feel weird about being naked in the presence of others. Clothing to them is more a means of keeping their soft human skin protected, rather than that of covering their shame. "You are now my friend and guest, so it's only natural that you'd be staying in my room. There's no reason why this wouldn't be proper or right." Nelliel shrugs, then moves to tidy up a bit some areas where there are books or clothes laying randomly.

She seems happy upon hearing his acceptance on the offer to take a bath. "Wonderful! Then it's settled. The bathroom in right behind this door, with a giant indoor pool for you to enjoy to your heart's content. There's also hygiene and sanitary products for you to use and some fluffy towels. Feel free to start washing while I am away." Nelliel claps her hands together, all smiles, then opens the door leading into said bathroom as she speaks.

Then, as if reading his thoughts, she follows right up. "If you need, after I return with the clothes, I could as well assist you in shaving and maybe cutting your hair. I feel like that might help in making you feel better."

As he moves into it, his hand would idly touch a table that happened to be nearby. Callous fingertips slide across the smooth wood, he wonders if it was imported from the human world. If this was the doings of Aizen or if Nelliel had personally saw fit to decorate her room. But those thoughts are soon forgotten as she speaks.

"I am a man, and you are a woman. Some level of discretion should be seen in the opposing sexes." The words come with very little shame to them, these are notions which had been drilled into him from a long ago age. And while the circumstances have battle have often caused him to forgo such sensibilities, this felt more… intimate. He lets an easy smile on his lips as he would remove his hand from the table. "But I shall not offend you by denying you. I'm sure your people have different notions on such things. Besides, when in Rome do as the Romans…"

He wonders if she'll understand that phrase.

His feet take him towards the bathroom peering inside of it, and by God does it look tantalizing. He can feel sand and grim in places that would be letter not said. As he began to move inside the bathroom, her comment on the haircut and shave causes his head to turn to look at her silently. His hand rests on the door, his jaw shift as in thought, before finally the tension left his jaw.

"I'd like that, a lot. I think."

Commission inspired by @yuunos Grimmjow art.

Nelliel then nodded and motioned for the reaper to follow her, leading the way back to the grounds of the Hueco Mundo palace. With how similar the landscapes were around here, it was actually impressive how confident the Arrancar woman was leading the way.

And sure enough, the Las Noches palace would peak through in the distance, its grandiose tall walls standing defiant against the otherwise scarce and dire environment. Normally, there would've been soldiers keeping watch over the tall iron gates leading into the entrance hall, but with the recent events and damage left behind by Aizen, the palace had become more of a derelict building rather than the headquarter bustling of life it'd used to be.

In a way, this little detail, which would've normally made her frown, would make the female Arrancar a tad bit relieved, given that she had no clue how the rest of her friends would've even reacted upon learning about her new 'friend' (or 'pet', as they would've probably called Hayden). It was best that no one knew of him, at least for now.

"This way." Nelliel motioned for Hayden again and, by reflex, she reached for his hand to pull him along, heading now towards her chambers. There, they'd be fully safe, cause no one ever dared enter her rooms without direct permission. "I'll get you some food and new clothes after we get to my room. Then, while you wait, you can either rest on the bed, or go into the bathroom to wash. We still have a direct connection to the human world water supply, so we can take as many baths as our heart desires." She added the last part as an explanation, in case Hayden would wonder how in the world did they have running water in a dry desert like Hueco Mundo.

As he followed behind her his mind seemed to gather itself once more, returning to a state which was more perceptive and alert. Try as he might he cannot release a soldier's virtue, how his mind commits little things to memory or every so often he sees some building or natural geography the notes would be a good defensive position. Even as they enter the derelict Los Noches, his mind is drawn towards it's impressive architecture. He doubts Aizen ever intended for this place to hold against a conventional siege, by a conventional army, yet Hayden sees potential.

A pair of artillery guns position on that tower, a cross section of mortars within the courtyard, able reinforcements could hold this place indefinitely with the right-

His hand is seized by the woman, pulling him along. He doesn't resist, the silk glove she wears feels pleasant against his calloused and scarred skin. She breaks his mind for the military virtues which surround it, she explains they are heading to her room. This illicit a small clearing of his throat. "Is that truly proper-" The question is habit. Even being more modern in this day and age, he still holds some antiquated views on the relationship between men and women. Then again, he is barely wearing clothes as is.

His self-propriety would certainly have his mother raking him across the ears long ago. But this is Hueco Mundo and he is in the presence of a kind soul, whom can easily hold their own in battle.

There's no attempt at stopping him from pulling away or getting back up on his feet. The Arrancar woman just watches and when his comment finally graces her ears, breaking the heavy silence, she lets out a soft snort. Not sardonic in any shape or form, nor mocking, but a mere reaction of amusement. "I doubt that I could be called a soul in my current state, but sure. I'll accept that coming from one of the most interesting Shinigami I've seen in a while." Not like she'd seen any since she'd last spoken with Ichigo, as a matter of fact.

She nods again and instead of giving any direct replies to his words that follow, Nelliel opts for three rather surprising words instead.

"I like you..." Then, as if to clarify any misunderstandings, she quickly follows up. "Your way of thinking intrigues me and there's a certain something about you that fascinates me. I can't say what it is exactly, but it kinda makes me wanna get to know you better."

Nelliel finally raises back onto her feet and unbothered by his sudden self consciousness at his own ragged state, she approaches him again. "How about you come back with me? I could give you food, new clothes and a warm roof over your head. All I ask for in exchange is to share more philosophical conversations like the one we'd just had and for you to tell me more about yourself."

A rather tempting bargain indeed, if only he could trust the words of a Hollow and believe that she isn't trying to trick him.

"It's an awful thing, to get to know me. I'm a poor man." He'd tease through dry lips, a long inhale being taken before he offers a slow nod of his head. "…Alright. Lead the way."

What more does he have to say to her, other than his agreement. Despite such few words spoken, they themselves are important. The foundation of a strange companionship. A man who is struggling with himself, and an Arrancar whom seems to possess empathy far exceeding her race. He is unsure where this path can take him.

"I won't disagree with you on that one. Someone once said that man is a wolf to man for this very reason, cause sometimes it's not the beast living in the wilderness or the direness of nature that kills the man or poses the biggest threat to him, but his very fellow human." Her tone even, the woman continued with the same calm stoicism from before. "One could even say that mankind has forgotten what it means to truly be kind and how to love another." Nelliel's eyes would burn deeply into his as she then continued her little monologue. "Maybe that's why so many of their kind end up in this place, emptied of all reason and sense of identity, mere husks of what they'd once been."

Something about the way in which the reaper spoke gave it away that he'd spoken from experience. He must've been a soldier in a past life too, someone who has seen the true horrors of war far beyond the chaos wrecked by Aizen in Soul Society. There was something deeper, a rougher past and history sheathed beneath those eyes. And for some reason, something within her, like a distant part she'd long buried within the depths of her mind and very being could resonate with the pain she saw in him.

Then, as the man covered his eyes and some tears found their way down his ashen cheeks, between his fingers, her lips would tighten into a thin line, her compassion bleeding out to this suffering soul before her. He looked so miserable and lost, as if something about him spoke of the loss of his will to move forward and a hope long forgotten.

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize to me for that. In fact, you should never have to apologize for your own feelings or for expressing them. You've got all the rights to express and show your pain and grief if need be and it's actually all the more healthier than bottling everything up deep within yourself." Reaching forward, the Arrancar woman wiped away some of his tears. Despite his current state that looked almost devoid of life, they felt so warm on her skin.

Nelliel nods and shifts her now crouching position to a seated one beside the man, giving him a moment of silence to collect himself, out of respect. The hand squeezing his would maintain its place, acting as a source of comfort in case he'd needed it.

"You've seen a lot in your many years, haven't you? So much selfishness, hatred and cruelty that it left you questioning everything you've learnt so far about your fellow comrades and maybe even home." She eventually broke the silence after a while, eyes gazing in the distance, at the empty night sky. "And that had shattered your very purpose and will to move onwards. Cause what is a man without his purpose in life if not a dead man, no?" It was only a guess at this point, maybe even grasping at straws with her assumptions. But her intuition told her this was closest to the answer. "This is why you've taken refuge here. To try and maybe rediscover yourself?"

His hand which had been holding onto her hands would release them slowly, pulling ever so much away from her. His hand, if allowed to do so, would come to be placed against the ground as he hauled himself to his feet. In some ways his pride can only handle so much, a man who has prided himself on his endurance. An endurance which spawns from a life lived harshly.

"You're… an interesting soul."

The words come after a moment of thought, his eyes look down at his body, indecent as he is, and gives pause. Her questions seem digging, as if searching for something inside of him.

"There's a certain truth that can be found in harsh circumstances, I needed, truth. You have my thanks, for your mercy. For your kindness. But… I…." The words fail him. What does he want to say, and how can he say it?

"I am tired, and hungry. And I want to sleep."

Nelliel would've shared the feeling with him in that regards, given that she herself could sometimes wander the white dunes for hours on end without being able to realize or quantify just how much time had passed. Either way, it was a calming activity, maybe even therapeutic to the deranged souls or minds. However, judging by the state of his disheveled clothing and the many scars resembling the claws and fangs of the Hollow roaming those places, it gave her an inkling about the fact this wasn't his first time coming here. Whatever his reasons were, it didn't matter. His appearance was enough to pull at the strings of her hollowed heart.

As the embodiment of sacrifice, one of the few aspects of death that entirely self centered, as it would head into its demise, she had been granted with the ability of understanding and empathizing with another. Sacrifice itself represented the loss of something in favor of another thing, which in death would usually symbolize another person or a cause. So Nelliel could feel the pain and maybe despair that would flow from the Reaper. To her, his fallen figure under that tree evoked the image of a fallen soldier who'd lost something important to him and whatever that something was, it must've been what brought him there in the first place.

It also made her curious, drew her in as to see what it was about this man and his burden. Reapers didn't frighten her, far from it since one of her dearest friends was one himself, so she'd be relaxed and calm in her demeanor as she approached him. She'd just watch as the man stared in confusion, inquiry visible in the depth of his empty eyes as to why an Arrancar would show such gentle kindness towards another being that wasn't of their kind.

"Does there really have to be a reason as to why someone would want to soothe and help a troubled man?" Her hazel gaze would look back at him, showing a level of understanding far superior to any beast. "Kindness doesn't need a reason or motive, it's something you just show the response to the pain of another." There was wisdom to her words too, for the female Arrancar possessed a strong value for the quality of reason in one's mind, the one thing that separated them from animals and Hollow alike who in her place would've pounced on the opportunity of hunting the fallen man.

"You're right, ya' know." The words come with easy admittance. "But that don't stop people from coming up with reasons to deny it. Ever since the days when one tribe sat on another side of a reason, people 'ave found reasons to deny kindness to another." The soldier has closed his heart to the suffering of others before. When it was him, or another, wagering their lives on battles and conflicts. He still wakes up in some nights, struggling to breathe, as he remembers flashes of a past life. Of masses of men clashing against one another, shooting and stabbing, drowning in mud.

Kindness, mercy, was a luxury one could not afford in those days.

But he is not within those days anymore, and he is not so calloused to have forgotten why he fought. The hand which is held by her own would squeeze, his head still leaning against the tree. His eyes closed themselves as for a moment, he allowed exhaustion to seep into his muscles. Physically exhausted, some part of his soul is restored by her words. The smallest bit of hope restored to him. It's an ember.

The hand which is not held by her own would come to his face, clasping over his eyes for a moment. That thin smile persists even as he feels a moisture at his eyes, emotion swells in him. Her words are like a silver bullet aimed right at his heart, as they so remind him of himself. To hear another speak those words, so clearly, and so plainly, after so long truly has shaken him.

"Ah. My apologies. I had forgotten such a truth. And now- it's revelation strangle me."

His words are concise, and controlled, even as his voice shakes slightly. It's a poor thing for a man like him, to shed tears in front of woman, he thinks. But that is the thoughts of a man raised in a different era, for a different purpose. The hand which holds onto her own, remains firm even as his body deflates. The tension which seemed ever present, simply disappears. He chokes, slightly, on words that never leave his mouth.

Hayden’s searing gaze was met only with slated grays, the aftermath of volcanic ashes; cool, sharp, and as unmoving as the stone they resembled. Just like the stone too, the appearance of strength was just that. A facade. There were many layers to it and together it held its shape but only together.

There was a time, not too long ago, that Soifon would’ve taken his words as treason. She’d have her blade to his throat, or Suzumebachi embedded in his heart by the time he finished that third remark. It was a dangerous notion. That was what she’d always been taught and individuals such as Aizen and the like proved as much.

That was then, however.

“Change has never done me any favors.” Her tone held no more fervor than before, though the words did. It was no secret that she was object to change in any form. She hated it and rightfully so but it was never hers to control, try as she might. What Hayden insinuated, if he truly meant it, to enact with words and actions, was just the same.

“So, what now? You plan to petition for these changes? Talk off the ears of every Noble that’s willing to lend it? Take up a political position?” None of those had ever worked before and she’d be hard-pressed to be believed they would now. Even with Hayden at the helm, if anything, it might backfire on him worse than his predecessors of vicissitude.

The words could be considered harsh to some, but he hopes she would read the true meaning. That this world has been neither kind nor caring for either of them. Hayden died in a foreign land, in a foreign war, he wanted no real part in. Soifon was born to a lineage that she could never afford to fail. They are products of a system that created warriors and killers.

He would move to turn from her, walking towards that window he had been looking out of earlier. A hand raises to lift the window, to pull it open so that a breeze could enter. It's a cool night in the Soul Society.

"Politicians? Nobles? I learned the lesson a century ago, Soifon. I looked to authority, to solve authority. And it drove me mad."

It drove him to insanity. Never again.

"No. The answer lies within, the very thing that every man and woman possesses. The capacity to learn." He allows a thin smile on his lips, he leans on his forearm on the windowsill, gazing outside into the Soul Society. A beautiful place, truly. "I will bring knowledge to the people. Like that old titan, bringing flame to mankind. The Rukongai is filled not only with powerful souls, but powerful minds. Think, what could be achieved in less than a decade, if people were allowed to learn freely."

Where is he going? He can't possibly mean:

"I'm going to open a school. In the Rukongai. And I'm going to show them a world that doesn't exist yet. But one we could make."

A part of him, is done with destroying. It's time he creates something.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of loose quotes taken from the last kingdom (netflix, 2015). these quotes are from various seasons and characters of the tv show. writing/roleplaying prompts. from fluff to angst! feel free to edit as you see fit; happy writing!