(●´ω｀●)

reading bad media takes online will never compare to the exquisite torture that is trying to have a conversation about basic literary analysis with your own family members

if i were a beta in the omegaverse i'd be so mad watching my coworkers get paid heat/rut leave while i get nothing. it's like when your fuckass coworker gets to take a cigarette break nid-shift and come back smelling bad but instead they get to go home and fuck nasty for a week because they made the choice not to take suppressants meanwhile i have to stay in the office running spreadsheets with debra whose scent patches don't do anything to hide the smell of mothballs or the alpha from marketing she's cheating on her husband with

why does everything cost money

I hear you can pour river water into your socks for free

coworker who has shot me with a water pistol twice today asked me “did you ever watch k-pop demon hunters,” i said “no,” he said, “do you watch Anything,” i looked up towards the ceiling briefly before looking back at him & saying, “no,” he said, “all i can picture, is you, in a corner of a room, staring at a wall,” i said, “yeah”

*forgets that you kissed my forehead*

been trying out new and exciting things such as getting more than 4 hours of sleep at night

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.

rly wanna crack an egg onto a photocopier n scan it jsut 2 see what happens

It is so fucking funny to me how easily scandalized some people are wym callout post for a cannibalism kink. Grow up. This is the nothingburger leagues and you're throwing up in the stands

It’s actually the peopleburger leagues

Blocking for being funnier than me

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do