i generally try to keep any ed stuff out of my posts/reposts, but i just need to vent. i keep gaining weight and i feel so guilty about it. i count my calories, i exercise, but i just keep gaining. and im so frustrated because i worked so hard to lose this weight, and i gained it all back after maintaining for a long time. back when my ed was at my worst and i thought i was so fat, but i was still at a regular/at times a slightly underweight bmi. now though, my bmi is morbidly obese. now i’m actually fat. and i kept thinking about how if i hadn’t developed an ed in the first place, i could be at a healthy weight right now without thinking about it so much. but now it feels like i spend all day thinking about weight and food, but i don’t reap the reward.
