I like bees

Your kid’s room is their room. It’s not yours. It’s theirs. It their room. Knock before you enter. Don’t go through their stuff. Ask permission to use their things. I know you feel entitled to the space and the stuff because “it’s your house” or “you bought that bed” (or dresser, or clothes etc.) but you’re not entitled to it. Those are things you’re supposed to provide to your child. If someone gifts you a book it doesn’t mean they can come into your house and read it whenever they want, go through it or take it without asking.

Give your child some privacy please! I’m not saying to let them stay out late, let them lock their doors when they have guest over or, to just never check in on them. I’m saying to knock first. As permission. Let your child have boundaries. Because if you don’t they’ll grow up to be a “yes man.” They’ll grow up not knowing what healthy boundaries are and will be taken advantage of, walked on and abused. Don’t give your child an unnecessary rough start. Don’t be the source of their pain, stress, fear or anxiety.

shades of green in Van Gogh’s paintings

An Honest Dumbass IRL Reader gets yoinked by Sheriff again but it's a tad spicy =D

Also the Madness Quartet™ yoinks Reader's V-Card but it only mentioned

Summary:

You're a human in a world full of cute, squishable, and dangerous grunts that want a piece of your ass. You regularly get yoinked by people and Sheriff is one of them. He's caught you again and for the longest record he's ever held.

When your poor word choice and infamous reputation of being bluntly honest come through, you accidentally egg on your captor into a horny haze. You honestly don't know how the fuck you got into this situation but hopefully, your bois'll come save you, again.

(Unedited)

─────────────────────────────

You get tied in ropes, captured by the Sheriff as a hostage, again. Even if you are bigger than grunts by a good margin(like half the size of MAGs) and have tougher skin, you're still pretty weak in comparison to the strength of grunts and the human durability of an iPhone doesn't really help either. Physically weaker than grunts and a dumbass in general, you were captured with little (lot cause of the Madness Quartet™) struggle.

You're currently in his nonexistent arms in a choke hold (which how the fuck do they do that? They don't have fucking arms for fuck sakes). Dude got his gun to your head as you both hear the racket stir up in the building.

Bend me over 90 degrees on a desk and fuck me silly. Why can't you get you get a moment of peace to yourself and your br0s without getting yoinked by some fuck?

The Sheriff above you suddenly chokes, and very loudly while he's at it. He looks surprised and really flustered as he snaps his head down to you. His grip tightens as you grimace at the sudden pressure.

"Dude, what caught you with your pants off?" You raise an eyebrow at the grunt. He sputtered as he tries to talk, getting increasingly more flustered as he tries to speak.

"I-I, I- you-! Ah-!" He tightens his grip on you more, your bigger body getting squashed into his, really warm actually, chest. Starting to actually choke, you grasp at his paws and try to loosen his grip.

"B-by the way, can you loosen up? I don't really-agh, like this kinda choking dude. There's only one-fuck me hard-!, enJOyAble one and this ain't it chief." Well, choking on food isn't really enjoyable but it's the only one where you'll do it no matter what some fucker or your past self says.

His hands get even warmer as Sheriff starts sweating all of a sudden. A quiet and pathetic sounding, squeaky whine escapes Sheriff.

?????

S-such brazen, lewd demands you made!

I-is this some sort of attempt of letting his guard down??? Y-you've never done this before! Well, that... could have to do with the fact that he's never had you for this long... He shakes his head as if in a fervor.

Sure, you're admittedly extremely hot attractive, submissive enough e-exotic looking, and breedable cute but that doesn't mean you can just charm The Sheriff into letting his g-guard down!

God he can feel himself hardening at the demands. His desk is right there and you look so helpless under his grip. He can hear those small whimpers for air and wonders how it would sound like if you were choking on his dick instead.

What would you look like sucking his dick? You'd look so pretty with your warm mouth all stuffed with his cock, looking up at him with heavy lidded eyes filled with arousal.

He looks at your slightly flushed face as you attempt to claw yourself out of his grip. He feels his face flush once again and forces himself to look away. The paw with the gun that was once pointing at your head was turned and used to cover his mouth.

No! H-he can't be manipulated like this! F-focus on the mission, on staying alive and ignore the tempting vixen!

A gasp for air sounding too similar to a breathy moan for Sheriff sends his terribly weak walls down and reflexingly slamming you onto his desk with him glued right to your backside, effectively trapping you. His hand that was used to choke you moved to slam itself right next to your head.

You swore as your head knocked into the hardwood. "Mother bitch! What the fuck 'Riff??"

Fuck! He breathes heavily looking down at you.

How would you look like clawing his back as he fucks you silly? Your nails look sharp. He'd wear the marks proudly, especially if it scars.

Oh, how would you feel like as he pounds into you over and over again on his desk as you asked? He'd love to see you all filled to the brim with his cum. He's sure you'd look absolutely stunning with a belly full of his kids.

Your behind feels great. It's real round and plush. Perfect for breeding. It feels so good to have himself pressed directly near your entrance. He wants oh so bad to just rip that layer of clothing away and raw you right then and there. He doesn't though.

With the little amount of restraint he has left, he leans over to your ear and gruffly whispers nearly growling. "You should really watch what your saying darlin'. It can really get yourself in situations."

You squeak as he snakes his paws down to your thighs and squeezes it harshly.

'What the fuck prompted this?????' you thought incredulously. Your face heats up as he eagerly explores your thighs.

You mean, you're not gonna lie and say he isn't a tad hotter than most grunts you've seen in this Alternate Nevada but holy fuck, how did this become the start of a kinky porn intro???

Sweating bullets, you try to wriggle out of this situation you've somehow gotten yourself into. By doing so, you've seem to turn the guy on cause you can sure as hell feel something hard feeling up your ass. Not to mention the growl that seemed to be low-key before amped up to the point this dude feels like a massage vibrator.

Fuck. How the fuck did his voice get deeper than Deimos???

Stars. You feel your face burn, gritting your teeth in a tight smile. At this point you might as well get yourself into a kinky desk porn vid with Sheriff if he keeps that voice up.

As if the higher beings heard you, Deimos, Sanford, and Hank break the door down and barge into the room. Deimos screams as he looks around wildly for you.

"[Y/N]!!! WE'RE HERE TO SAVE Y─......"

Meeting your eye, the three still and quiet at the compromising scene in a blank stare.

From their view, they see you with an extremely flushed face, body sensually pressed to the desk with your ass pointed slightly up, the Sheriff with a surprised, flushed look, that fucker with himself practically glued to your bent over body, and his hand right by the side of your head.

As the three seethe in their anger, Hank beginning to growl louder as the seconds pass, 2B through the communicator asks why it suddenly got quiet. and why Hank started growling.

"≪Hey. Do you copy? What's going on for you to be all quiet? Why did Hank start growling all of a sudden? Did you find [Y/n] yet? Did something happen to them??≫"

Saying nothing, Deimos silently turns on the camera feature on the communicator and lets 2B see the scene.

"≪.......≫"

"≪...You know what to do...≫"

With that, the 3 most wanted grunts leaped lightning quick at the two of you, Deimos drop kicking Sheriff off of you and Sanford using his hook to hook the back of your rope to pull yourself towards himself.

You land into his muscled chest with an 'oomph' and into his hands. Deimos on the other end of the room, yeets the Sheriff with the force of a thousand suns towards a feral, bloodthirsty Hank.

"I have [Y/n], Doc. Passing him onto Deimos. I have a....few words with this fucking bozo." He reported as his expression seem to darken as well as his grip on you.

"≪Make sure to put hits in for me.≫"

He chuckles darkly. "Sure thing Doc... If Deimos and Hank is willing to leave some behind though. With how pissed they are, I doubt but hopefully I can get some hits in..."

Sanford then turns to you and checks over you, getting the ropes off of you. "You alright babe? Did that fucker do anything to you?"

Looking at Sanford's face, his expression seem to scream repressed rage and concern for you. You brighten up and speak. "Thank Stars! You guys finally came! It was starting to get a bit 'kinky porno starter intro' in here with Sheriff's, ahem, very nice voice. Though, other than accidental choking and slamming me against his desk, nothing much."

Being quiet for a bit, out of no where, Sanford asks, ".....You're a virgin, right?"

You raise an eyebrow at him. "Bruh, we did not fuck if that's what your insinuating. I'm an adult virgin lmao."

"When we get back at the base, your virginity is ours, just saying."

"≖▱≖ W h a t ─"

"HEY DEIMOS!" Interrupts Sanford. 'What a whore(affectionate), interrupting me like that' you thought.

"YEAH?? I'M FUCKIN BUSY!" Deimos responds. Looking at. the scene, he's currently trying to beat Sheriff like a baseball bat with his rifle, empty judging from the no magazine and ridiculously copious amounts bullet holes littering the other side of the room. How the hell did you not hear that??

"IT'S MY FUCKIN TURN! GET [Y/N] TO SAFETY! GOTTA BEAT HIS ASS FOR 2B TOO!"

"Tch-" Deimos reluctantly ceases attempting to beat the scrambling Sheriff and leave towards you and Sanford, letting Hank run wild in trying to attack the frantic grunt.

"He'll take you to safety. DEIMOS! CATCH!" He says, proceeding to yeet you into Deimos' hands. You yelp as you hang onto Deimos' neck. "SANFORD, WHAT THE SHIT??"

Booking out of there, Deimos runs towards the truck downstairs, shooting down any stragglers with a pistol he found on the ground.

"He's really wanting me to suck his dick huh?" You grumble around his neck as Deimos wheezes in, pain? "Please stop using those weird threats. No one knows if your being serious or not. Not to mention that's what probably got you into... that, in the first place."

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

summary: you text your lover in inazuma that you want a child— jokingly, of course.

warnings: none? i don't think? all fun & games! if yoi sQuint, it's a little suggestive.

🍒 ,, AN: first actualdjfj genshin blogoogf ragatzf

thoma, itto, gorou, ei, kokomi, & miko x reader.

(I think I may have read a little too many SAGAU fics 😅)

Holy shit

If the character we got, had the same build when we got isekied then all I'm going to say is

Klee mains you better brace yourself 😳 and I feel so so so so sorry for Amber 😔 (I'm going by the majority, amber mains pls dont kill me)

As for constellation? I'm thinking of having everyone at c0 or c6, 🤔 some mechanics are just hard to fit into.

Alternate sprint is definitely a thing and , Ayaka ice bridging us over to the different inazuman islands 👌👍

Lmao mora stuff is definitely going to be a thing as soon as we discover laylines and after we finally interact with a statue of seven.

One thing that is really funny to me is that we literally empty the shops when we buy from them like imagine going shopping with some charecter and then you literally buy the entire shops (especially shrimps because God I need shrimps for revival food) better yet imagine if you do this in front of mona. Poor girl... Would think you are out of your mind but then you take out the mora and she's literally 0_0. I want to spoil her rotten 😩💕

And we all know that Zhongli has expensive ass tastes in things and that he doesn't really look at the price tag but guess what? You don't either. You and zhongli go out shopping burn like 5 million mora in one day and bring back the most exquisite but useless things possible.

I’ve actually been trying to figure out your art and from what I can tell is that you use the blend tool and maybe gradient maps for the fabric?? But if you don’t mind, could you explain how you did the highlights on the first kylar and robin art you posted? the nose highlight on robin is very refreshing like he’s actually in the sunlight!! and kylar in a bathroom with dingy lighting (lmao)

Please don’t feel pressured to answer this ask if it’s too much!! either way I just wanted to let you know that your art is very inspiring and it would be really fun to see other art of yours non DoL related like ocs and whatnot, (again no pressure!!) hope you have a good day 💖💖💖

Thank you for all the kind words, anon! They mean a lot to me ahhhhh;;; I'm so happy you said my dol art reminded you of dating sims art because that was the totally vibe I was going for!!!!1! 😭😭💖💖💖

You are absolutely right in that I severely abuse use both gradient maps and the blend tool yes! I basically use the blend tool on everything (including fabric) and by that i mean e v e r y t h i n g. lol

I'm not very good at explaining stuff nor am I the best person to learn from LOL but I'll try to explain how I did the lighting!

These are just general guidelines! you can achieve all sorts of effects by playing around with colours and stuff;

see how much i abuse this LOL

basically i try to pay attention to values + colours to create a certain atmosphere, and to use lighting to guide the viewer's eye when i can

I used my robin art to explain it because its a lot closer to how I usually colour stuff; when i drew the kylar one I think I actually rendered it in greyscale and layered a gradient map over it. this is why his skin is practically grey lol. (but the thought process is essentially the same)

FUN FACT I actually colored his tongue red as a last-minute decision and i almost posted this lowkey-very-cursed green tongue kylar.

Lucifer:

“Listen here you waxy, lemon-faced bitch-”

There were two reasons why he didn’t set you on fire on the spot after you insulted him; one, no-one dared to insult him to his face, and he admire you for your gut. Two, your way of insulting was quite possibly the funniest thing he had seen in all his centuries of being alive.

He’d try to hide his smile, turning away from you and just walking away. He’d begin to run when you started to chase after him, unable to keep himself from laughing anymore.

“Don’t run away while I’m talking to you, bird man - I said stop running!”

Mammon:

“You lookin’ like you came straight from the clown factory. Honk honk, bitch!”

It wouldn’t resister in his brain at first - he’d be too busy hyping you up to realize what exactly you said. After a few moments, he’d find himself lowering his fists, looking at you inquisitively.

“What did you just say?” he’d ask you.

“Don’t just stand there, Mammon, hold my wig!”

Mammon wouldn’t still completely understand your choice of fighting words until days later, when he was in an extremely important meeting with the rest of his brothers and Lord Diavolo. He’d remember you yelling the words “honk honk” and he’d start laughing right then and there.

“Mammon, we’re in a meeting,” Satan would hiss at him.

“I know, I’m sorry! I just-” 

He would physically have to be removed from the student council room. 

Leviathan:

“Binch.”

Maybe it was the simplicity of your insult, or maybe it was the way you completely butchered a basic human curse word, but you had him reeling on the floor. You’d been stewing in your anger for a bit now, getting frustrated by the second, and the way all your rage was directed onto that one word…

He’d be crying, completely abandoning the game you two were playing  as he pounded his fist against the floor. You’d be watching him with an unpleasant frown, crunching up your nose in distaste.

“Keep it up, snake man, I’m coming for your lizard ass next.”

He’d only start laughing harder.

Satan:

“I’m gonna split you like a sundae with grandpa, bitch.”

As the Avatar of Wrath, Satan was well-versed on a variety of insults and curses. Demonic, angelic, human, he knew it all. Color him surprised when you uttered those words under your breath before you attacked Lucifer.

He’d pull you off his screaming older brother, cackling loudly as he slung you over his shoulder and ran like a bat out of hell. He’d still be laughing when he barged into your room, tears streaming down his face as he barricaded the doors.

“I love you so much,” he’d whisper as Lucifer pounded on your bedroom door. “Please marry me, right now.”

Asmodeus:

“You look like if socks and sandals had a threesome with Voldemort and then you came out.”

He’d be a little confused at your choice of insult, but that wouldn’t deter him. He’d hold your earrings and your shoes as you absolutely roasted the demon in front of you, cheering you on from a safe distance.

It would only be afterwards that he’d question you about your choice of words.

“You couldn’t call them a bitch and move on?”

You’d only smirk, pointing at the demon’s gobsmacked face. “You have to hit them where it hurts, Asmo,” you said. 

Beelzebub:

“I’m gonna roast his ass like rotisserie!”

Beelzebub walked away the moment he heard you scream those words. He’d seen you angry before, and while he knew he should probably stop you from wreaking havoc on the Devildom, he knew he wouldn’t be able keep himself from laughing. 

He was used to fiery personalities - he’d shared a room with his younger brother for centuries, having to deal with Belphegor’s morning personality. He could stop you with just a simple scratch on the head, and he probably should have but seeing you so angry, stomping your feet comedically on the ground as you chased Solomon around the school… 

He’d be cheering you on through his fits of laughter, following close by you as you hurled your strange insults at the wizard.

Belphegor:

“Y-You got no jams!” 

Belphegor prided himself in being the most knowledgable about the human realm than most of his brothers, but what in the absolute hell did that even mean? He’d lower the object he was keeping out of your reach, eyeing you with confusion.

“What the fuck?” he’d ask. “MC, what the hell does that mean?”

You’d snatch your coveted cup of pudding, sticking your tongue out at him. “You look like if a cow and a scene kid did the nasty and their holy union produced you.” His eyes would be wide when you placed a kiss against his cheek. “Don’t steal my pudding, cow boy.”

He’d definitely get you back later, but watching you walk away, he could only clap his hands in awe. 

my color tips pdf is now available ! i had a lot of fun with this, i hope you enjoy ^^

Notes: Inspired by @imagineimagineimagine SAGAU concept post that can be found here and dedicated to @emilemovhi! Took a more comedic bent with this idea as requested.

VENTI is not drunk enough for this.

The imposter scurries behind a living statue that so happens to bear the image of Cecili in the same way he bears the face of Cecili on his person. For the sake of his sanity and to lessen his hangover in the morning, he's going to call the statue of Not-Cecili.

Not-Cecili has no weapons on him - because of course he does not - and stands bravely between Venti's nocked arrow and the imposter.

"I'm going to give you one chance to move, my friend, since you happen to look very dashing~" Venti tries to keep a playful tone but he hopes his stare his hard and his airs powerful as the once Archon of Anemo should be.

Not-Cecili seems not moved by his attempts to intimidate because of course he isn't. Before Venti can bite back the sigh building up in his throat, Not-Cecili speaks,

"Dear wisp of air, my dearest friend, may I ask how this is fair? Our All-Creator is here yet you approach them with fear. Is this not the one you've been looking for? The one you've been yearning since our days of yore?"

Urgh... The rhyming. That alone has him dissipating his weapon so he can cover his ears and let out an exasperated groan. Venti tried to honor that quirk of Cecili in the past, so determined to keep him alive in appearances, but he had dropped it quickly when he found it too difficult to string the words together.

Nice to see the imposter was able to get that down, he thinks with irritation and hey- They're just walking away from him? Hello?!

"... Should we really be turning our backs to him?" At least the imposter is smart enough to be wary of him, looking over their shoulder to cast him a worried stare. "I mean-"

"You need not worry about his aim from afar," Not-Cecili says and there's a glimmer in those eyes, the mischievous glow rivaling that of small lamp grass. "Not when I know stories of him and an apple jar."

Venti lets out a screech that almost drowns Not-Cecili's laughter and your confused noises. He flails at their direction, his current state of inebriation and exasperation disallowing him the chance to remember that he has, you know, legs. "You promised to never tell anyone that!"

Venti watches you and Not-Cecili scurry off towards Wolvendom and he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and turns towards the direction of Dawn Winery to drain this season's harvest.

He is not drunk enough for this. Let this be Zhongli's problem.

ZHONGLI is unsure of what to do.

The imposter stands by the side of the maybe-Guizhong. They are looking at him with a dumbfounded expression across the face they dare to use but, then again, he can't blame them for the look of awe and shock they sport at the moment.

It's not every day the once Archon of Liyue is brought to his knees by Baoding balls being thrown at his face.

He never knew it was possible for a Guizhong Ballista to be modified to such an extent - Transformed into, essentially, a giant slingshot that now pelts Baoding balls to keep him from approaching the hill the imposter and maybe-Guizhong currently stand on.

"Morax- Please know that I do not take pleasure in what I am doing," maybe-Guizhong says with a straight face as she loads up her next volley of Baoding balls. These ones look particularly heavy so he knows better than to try anything at the moment. "Yet I will let you know now: If this the path I must take to protect our Treasure of Liyue then so be it. I know you can be rash at times but to let allow your senses to be so muddled towards our All-Creator's presence? That cannot do."

Ah... The scolding. Zhongli missed all parts of his departed friend, both good and bad for they were hers, but the scolding never fails to make like feel like an errant hatchling no matter how old or how powerful he is. He's thankful his tail is not out because it would no doubt be curled around him in embarrassment.

Still. He pulls himself up to his feet - slowly, carefully as he sees maybe-Guizhong reading the ballista-slingshot at him - and does his best to look every inch the god he still is.

"I will trust my senses for the time being. Though these turn of events are unexpected, they are perhaps still part of the imposter's plans to deceive Teyvat and usurp the All-Creator's throne." Indeed... Isn't it a little too convenient for his friend to suddenly come back to life, proclaiming the innocence of this person? "Until more is unearthed, I will trust my instincts and shall not the imposter or their companions to linger in Liyue. You must leave and not return if you value your life."

"Very well. If that is what you wish to believe," is maybe-Guizhong's way of saying you stupid blockhead, politely. "The All-Creator and I shall part from here and leave you in peace." A smile so familiar and so sly crosses her face, pretty as the Glaze Lillies. "After all, we have the high ground at the moment."

... Sigh. The imposter even captured Guizhong's sense of humor. He walked right into that punchline.

Zhongli watches you and maybe-Guizhong depart for the direction of the Guili Plains - because of course you two would go that way - and he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and turns towards the peaks of Jueyun Karst in hopes of finding the perfect cliff to tumble off of.

He is unsure of what to do about this. Perhaps this can be Ei's problem.

EI is not able to find her bearings and YAE MIKO is simply having the time of her life right now.

The imposter - who Yae Miko is certain is their precious All-Creator, merely housing their soul in a mortal shell - is being held up by under the arms thanks perhaps-Makoto. They're currently being swung back and forth between the confused Shogun, the confused Tri-Commission, and the confused soldiers who are sharing long and tired looks, wondering they are being paid enough for this.

"-Look at this face, dear sister! Look at them!" Most-Definitely-Makoto brings the person closer to Ei's personal space and Yae is certain they're both getting a good look at the other's wide-eyed stares. She wishes she had that kamera that's all the rage these days. "How can you think someone so sweet as them can be anything less then the Most Divine? How can you not recognize them?"

Before Ei can give her excuse, Makoto pulls the All-Creator to her chest and cuddles them, rubbing her cheek over their head as the poor dear holds a thousand yard stare at the mess they find themselves in. "Look at how adorable they are! I thought the whole point of us becoming the Archon was to meet them.

"Ah... That reminds me- Ei, do you still have that toy set of them? The limited edition one we had to wait in line for because not even our retainers could purchase them in advance? I still think it was unnecessary to wait that long for some toys."

Hehe... This is most definitely Makoto, no doubt about it. Only she would have the ability to embarrass Ei like this and still be allowed to live.

"They're not toys, they're idols," Ei protests, her face reddening at one of her secrets being exposed with such casualness. She tries and fails to look like the Shogun, the Shadow of Thunder, she is but the need to justify her purchases outweigh her need to have some measure of dignity. "They were all in the Tsurumi Tsunami color palette too. They were a most necessary addition to my collection."

"What," is what you say, the only thing you've said thus far since being dragged into the heart of Tenshukaku by someone who looks and acts and speaks like Makoto.

Yae Miko gives you a sympathetic smile and you mouth 'help' in reply. She shakes her head because as much as she loves you, she loves this unfolding mess a bit more. Only a little bit.

"Ohhh!" Makoto looks down at you, stars in her eyes that rivals the Sakura Bloom. "Speaking of collection: Would you like to see my sister's Plane of Euphoria? It's where she keeps her memorabilia and items of you. I had her make that plane because it was simply cluttering up the Tenshukaku by the end of the year..."

like

emoji access? supremely powerful 🙂💖

But

Kaomoji ?

Wrong. Okay, picture this–

So there’s the prince, okay? He’s like, smack dab in the center of the ballroom, and he is like, horrifically aware that this whole ball thing is a result of his dad falling into a panic about the royal lineage or whatever and he’s stuck listening to highborn girl after highborn girl, all lined up, introducing themselves like, “Oh yeah my family’s been a longtime supporter of the crown, and I think you’re cute, *cough* I’ve been told I have child-bearing hips *cough* Who said that? Anyway–” and Princey boy is just smiling through it, he has been the center of attention for entirely too long, he misses his emotional support horse, and is just internally like “Someone please kill me now.” And then… he sees her–This isn’t a love at first sight thing, this is a ‘what the hell is going on over there’ thing, because this girl has not gotten into the Debutante line for a solid 45 minutes. 

She’s just at the hors d’oeuvres table going HAM on the prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, and like, she’s polite about it, she’s happy to move aside for other people grabbing punch and canapes (and she’s really so sweet with the wait staff, it’s kind of cute because they’re like… definitely not used to being acknowledged) but it’s like, “Damn girl, did you not eat today?” and then the prince is kind of stuck with the uncomfortable thought of ‘how many girls starved themselves to fit into a corset for this.’ And then the Prince realizes he’s missed the past 4 Debutante introductions because he’s watching Mystery girl hork down crab rangoons. So he’s like, “Excuse me” and manages to break free from the never-ending parade of girls who will hop on his dick for status.

 And as he’s approaching Mystery Girl, it’s kind of hitting him that something’s not quite natural about her. Not fake, but not quite real. But at the same time this whole evening’s been just a whole circus of people acting fake as hell, so like, someone seeming a little off doesn’t seem bad, necessarily. And he sidles up to her like, “Hi,” and she’s like, “Oh–hey, have you tried the tapenade?” and she points to one of the plates, and at this point, he could hit her with the “You don’t know who I am, do you?” deal or the “Very funny, I see your play” deal, but at this point it occurs to him that, no, he hasn’t had anything to eat throughout this whole damn ball, partially because of being stuck in the debutante parade, partially because of nerves, and there’s something so disarming about the question that he grabs a crostini and she still seems so food-focused that it doesn’t seem possible that this is a play. So they both grab little plates and ditch the party.

She pretty much clears her plate in under two minutes and then has half of his plate, he’s cool with it, mostly he’s just absolutely fascinated listening to her.

See here’s the thing about Cinderella:

1. She doesn’t know he’s the prince. Like yeah, he’s been at the center of the room, but she’s kind of spent half the party eagerly looking around everywhere she’s allowed to go (”Have you seen rose garden? Have you seen the solarium??” further confirmation that she doesn’t know who she’s talking to) and the other half stuffing her face with food. 

2. She assumes she’s never going to see anyone here tonight again, and no one recognizes her, so she has no filter.

So she’s just talking about whatever with this guy. He seems cool. She talks about her friends, who are rats. She makes little outfits for them. Sometimes they bring her little gifts. She is already the coolest person the prince has ever met because of this. She pretty much offhandedly talks about whatever is fucked up about the kingdom that would take his advisors two hours of hemming and hawing and watering down to address. She just says it like it’s nothing, just funky little things she’s observed, and again, she’s not aware that he’s the prince, but it’s still pretty damn bold to bring up at a literal royal ball.

She… seems to have the majority of graces that lots of girls from Respectable Families™ have, but there’s something strange about it, something simultaneously broken and hardened, like the way you can see where ice has thawed and re-frozen. Also the way she talks about her family, and the way she avoids talking about her family– is raising several red flags, not in the “Oh this is another person trying to take advantage of me” sense, but in the “Oh fuck, something’s gone really wrong and you need help” sense and also lowkey a ‘damn is she even getting fed?’ sense. But he can’t say, ‘Hey, that’s not fucking normal for people to say that to you or treat you that way. We need to get you out of there,’ without sounding crazy himself, so for now, he’s just going to chill, make sure she’s comfortable, and keep enjoying the evening. She’s somehow befriended like 4 of the waitstaff so they’re willing to cover for them while they disappear for a little bit, and they get plenty of time to talk, but eventually it hits her that she hasn’t danced yet and she’s like “Come on! I bet we can make the prince jealous!” and he just bursts out laughing at that like “hell yeah, let’s make the prince jealous. He’s a real asshole.” Like clearly she’s having a good time, so who is he to make it weird? So they head back to the ballroom and they dance. And our girl, Mystery Girl, Cinderella, while they’re dancing, becomes acutely aware that everyone is staring. That doesn’t seem quite right. Like, yeah she’s hot, she knows she’s hot, but at least a good third of the party should still be focused on the prince, right? Where is that guy, anyway?

Oh.

Oh wait.

Oh shit.

And Princey Boy actually picks up on her realization and they whisper argue for like 3 minutes. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Now I feel like a goddamn idiot!” “I dunno it was nice being treated like a normal person” “Well me treating you like a normal person makes me a goddamn felon or something did you consider that?!” “Hey–Hey–it’s cool–you’re cool–I think you’re amazing, and if anyone says shit about you, I can shut it down.” “Well I don’t like that! That’s fucked up!” “I agree. It is fucked up, but I believe in you, and I think you should have a chance, and I’m here to back you up. I know power is fucked up right now. I know. But are you cool with working with me to change that?” And our girl Cindy pauses on that for a couple seconds, because.. she’s just spent hours with this guy and like.. she knows he’s a good guy, she knows he means well, so she’s like, “I don’t know how long I can actually work with you.” and the prince is like “Look, I know your home situation is complicated right now, but I really think we can–”

And then the bell starts ringing.

It’s midnight.