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Deeply embarrassed to have gone six months without doing one of these. It is June. I have seen actual movies this year, I promise.
2026 Movie Rankings (YTD)
Project Hail Mary (Rating: A | Rewatch: Yes)
Is God Is (Rating: A | Rewatch: Yes)
No Other Choice (Rating: A | Rewatch: Yes)
Sirāt (Rating: A | Rewatch: No)
Send Help (Rating: B | Rewatch: Maybe)
The Sheep Detectives (Rating: B | Rewatch: Yes)
Pressure (Rating: B | Rewatch: No)
Normal (Rating: B | Rewatch: Maybe)
The Bride! (Rating: B | Rewatch: Maybe)
Disclosure Day (Rating: C | Rewatch: Emphatic No)
As a reminder, this is my highly objective and scientific movie grading criteria:
Quality:
A - Very Good
B - Enjoyed It
C - Do Not Regret Watching
F - Regret Watching
and rewatchability:
Yes - I would seek this movie out to watch it again
Maybe - I’d watch it again if it was on or someone else wanted to see it
No - Rather not watch again
Emphatic No - Absolutely not
Ranking is based purely on vibes.
Reviews below the cut!
February 1, 2026 - No Other Choice
Fantastic! I've actually been a big fan of the book since I was a kid (I was a weird kid), and was very excited to hear that it was going to be adapted as a movie by Park Chan-wook. The story is a fantastic fit for the director and Korean culture in general. And it didn't disappoint! A great black comedy, highly recommended.
February 22, 2026 - Send Help
Very good! I hadn't been sure what to think of the trailers, but this was a fun horror/comedy romp, with a couple satisfyingly weird characters and some Sam Raimi-typical grossness (compliment).
March 8, 2026 - The Bride!
I don't think this movie entirely succeeds, but I admire a creator that seems to be genuinely trying something new. Good performances, and definitely the film to go see if you want a mix of Bonnie & Clyde and the Universal monster movies.
March 15, 2026 - Sirāt
Oof. Great movie with some very emotionally difficult moments. Can be slow in places, but in a meditative way rather than a boring way.
March 22, 2026 - Project Hail Mary
Loved it! An absolute delight. Interesting science, a great friendship story. Inspired me to read the book which is also very good.
April 19, 2026 - Normal
Not amazing, but good dumb fun. Solid mix of action and dark humor. Fargo meets a high-octane shoot 'em up.
May 16, 2026 - Is God Is
Absolutely fantastic! Funny, fascinating, and heartfelt semi-surreal vengeance odyssey with amazing acting from everyone. I was going to list everyone who did an exceptional job but it was just a list of the main cast.
May 17, 2026 - The Sheep Detectives
Very cute family-friendly mystery movie. It’s been simplified (read: dumbed down) quite a bit from the book, but still a charming way to pass the afternoon.
June 7, 2026 - Pressure
Solid enough war movie. Not breaking any new ground, but Andrew Scott is quite good as the D-Day weatherman. Brendan Fraser delivers a solid performance as someone who isn't very like Eisenhower.
June 14, 2026 - Disclosure Day
A lot of very talented people put a lot of hard work into this stupid, stupid movie. It would be a solid chase movie if it weren’t built around a premise that doesn’t make any sense or have much emotional impact (at least for me [or my dad]), and if it didn’t take a lot of undeserved shortcuts. Maybe just watch ET or Close Encounters of the Third Kind again.
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I know this is the jaded post-irony website and we all wanna be funny, but I am genuinely asking. Please, tell me about a good memory you have with some loved ones and a stack of standard playing cards.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Somebody at work keeps adjusting one of the perimeter cameras to have this beautiful artistic angle on the museum in a historical building across the way. The sun sets just behind it and the whole sky turns golden-blue, clouds streaked across the sky above. The lush tree line beneath the museum is perfectly lined up along the rule of thirds and the building itself towers above, almost mythical in its evening glory. Like damn, take a still from this camera and send it to the museum to frame and hang on their wall. I do need the camera to be pointing at the parking lot. Tho
The setting sun bounces off the skyscrapers downtown and hits the museum's windows and every one of them turns the same golden hue as the sky behind, reflected in the trees just starting to turn golden-orange beneath. The bottoms of the clouds take on the slightest tinge of purple and birds circle above, speckling the evening sky as they call autumn's last farewell. Someone's car got broken into in the parking lot last week, Tammy, point the damn camera at the cars
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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