Does Baby Yoda Know How Much I Love Him???

Speedrunning getting kicked off the council

God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers Yoda assigns his most unruly students to his most disrespectful former padawans

Six basically identical women having identity mix up shenanigans, with some sort of alien Parks And Rec political committee hijinks in the main plot, and in the background, totally not remarked upon, a series of assasins failing in ridiculous ways or being jumped on by Anakin “no chill” Skywalker.

Oh this shot fucks me up so much actually.

so, i have a bit of experience with swords. not actual swords, but bokken and wooden replicas, at least. i’ve been trained in basic shakespearian stage combat since i was 8 years old, but the only move I got really good at was the moulinet, aka that flippy thing everyone complains about in the prequels:

however, unlike everyone claims, THIS MOVE IS NOT USELESS. sure, it can be used to show “i’m fancy and well-trained,” but it’s ALSO extremely useful for acquainting yourself to the heft and length of your weapon, as well as readjusting your grip if your other hand is occupied (historically by a shield), or even if you just wanna do it quickly because you’re worried the other guy is about to stab/disarm you. it also helpfully keeps others at bay when your grip is at its weakest because they don’t wanna get hit by the blade and bleed tf out, much like poor anakin up there. Not to mention, IN UNIVERSE they can use moulinets to deflect blaster fire and seek openings in other saber users’ defenses.

HOWEVER X2: this move should not be possible with a plasma blade/”laser sword.”

I’M GOING TO GUSH FOR A MOMENT ABOUT LIAM NEESON/QUI-GON. PREPARE YOURSELF!

For fucking YEARS I have felt like Liam Neeson was kind of the only Jedi in the prequels who actually looked like he knew what the fuck he was doing with a sword… and not that the Revenge of the Sith duel isn’t fun, but it looks like choreography to me… it looks a little “staged.”

I knew Liam Neeson was good with a sword because his performance in Rob Roy was fucking EPIC. (This movie came out several years before Phantom Menace.) The duel at the end of that film is amazing. Tim Roth vs Liam Neeson!!!! That is the real duel of the fates!!!!!!! If you haven’t seen this film, I highly recommend it. It has a lot of triggering elements so proceed with caution, but it’s an epic, historic story (and the movie is more enjoyable than the book, in my opinion).

P.S. Have I ever mentioned how much i LOVE Tim Roth??? He is a goddamn brilliant actor!

OK OK OK…. so, while watching The Phantom Menace, I’ve always felt like Qui-Gon (unlike Obi-Wan) looks like he’s actually trying to kill Maul. Now… is this because Liam was a more experienced swordsman than Ewan? Was it a conscious choice so that Obi-Wan’s technique looks sharper at the end of the duel when he fights Maul one-on-one?

Whatever the reason, Liam Neeson brings a wonderful amount of realism to his swordsmanship. Granted, I am by no means an expert on the subject, but I am a good judge of sincerity. And I’m telling you, Liam fucking sells it!! He brings an energy to the moves that make them look deadly. It’s not like watching 2 kids whack plastic swords together, trying to avoid hitting each other for real (which Is kind of how I feel watching Ewan at the beginning of the duel). Liam Neeson (and the amazing Ray Park!!) doesn’t look like he’s performing choreography. He looks like he’s using offensive and defensive tactics, looking for a weak spot to exploit. The following gif is an excellent example. It doesn’t look like a performance. It looks like two swordsmen facing off:

Pardon my insane ramblings. I guess I just want to say Liam Neeson elevated the sequence. So, thanks Rob Roy for making Qui-Gon possible!!!

There’s one last thing I want to mention in this disjointed TED Talk. These two films are cinematic opposites in the way they portray the duels. The Phantom Menace’s is a long sequence spreading out over two additional plot lines, there are bright flashing lights, and a famous soundtrack. In Rob Roy, the scene is about 7 minutes long (which is long for a single scene), the action is paced and very brutal, the environment is dark and claustrophobic, the characters size each other up constantly, the sequence is extremely psychological, and there is no soundtrack – the duel is dead silent except for the sound of the swords and the actors’ breathing. It is soooooooo good and cinematically one of the most intense duels I’ve ever seen.

In contrast, Qui-Gon eschews grace in saberplay as he does in all things. He’s a top diplomat, yet he rarely censors or softens himself. He’s outspoken where other Jedi (particularly his padawan) are more reserved. He flies by the seat of his pants and leaves everyone in his wake to scramble to catch up. His master was Dooku, whose preferred form is extremely elegant and refined (reflecting Lee’s fencing), yet Qui-Gon always looks like he’s planning on hacking his opponent into messy chunks. (I’ve always believed that a duel between Dooku and Qui-Gon would look a LOT like the duel in Rob Roy.) His fights are slower-paced and more stop-start than other Jedi because that’s typically how real duels to the death go – fighting for your life is REALLY tiring, and every move has to count. It’s impressive that the other actors could get so fast and move so gracefully (they actually had to slow the last fight in TPM down in post so that the audience would be able to track the action), but I understand why it kills the realism.

However, I LOVE the inadvertent contrast between the PT and the OT (though not so much the ST). It really hammers home that true saberplay is a lost art – it died with the Jedi. The saber forms and their associated katas were more than just ways to kill people; they were a form of meditation, a martial art. Each form had its own philosophy and connection to the Force. No one can measure up to the Jedi at their height, because all the remaining Jedi are old, scarred, dying. Even Luke, at his most imposing (when he was beating the shit out of Vader at the end of RotJ) is graceless and consumed by rage, unable to temper it like he might be able to with Vaapad or Juyo, because there was no one able to teach him how; Yoda was 900 and Obi-Wan was dead.