Choose Your Fighter

1. “Anybody noticing this? Anybody noticing what’s happening here?” 

2. “Where do I go, what do I do, what do I do, where do I go? Oh god, I’m so scared!” 

3. “I’ve never been on this side of the whole equation before.” 

4. “I’m coming for you! You should be scared.” 

5. “Man, I sure do goosh a lot of blood.” 

6. “I feel a sense of power growing inside of me. Unyielding. Unstoppable.” 

7. “I feel unstoppable. A squirming, wriggling mass of flesh and power!” 

8. “I think they’ve grown wise to my tactics.” 

9. “They’re too smart for this. They’re the clever ones, that’s why they’re still alive.” 

10. “Why didn’t you come to the party?! The ice-cream cake melted!” 

11. “That’s gonna be tough to scrub out.” 

12. “Ignore all the blood flowing down from the ceiling.” 

13. “Don’t open the door. I’m not ready. The party’s not ready.” 

14. “Ignore that sound. It was nothin’.” 

15. “Something’s above you. Something’s above you that wants to say hi.” 

16. “That was mean. I mean, I’m gonna eat ‘em anyway, so I guess it’s all horrible.” 

17. “I’m a pancake.” 

18. “Was that a good idea or a bad idea? What did I just do?” 

19. “Okay, well, being human is kind of fun, I guess.” 

20. “How devious. How dastardly. I love it.”

21. “I like you. I’m gonna leave you alone.” 

22. “No one asked me to kill anybody. I just did it anyway.” 

23. “Ow! What the hell? You suck!” 

24. “You need to stop screaming. Right now.” 

25. “You keep screaming like that and I might get… upset. I might do something I might… regret.” 

26. “Hey, don’t worry. If you don’t attack me, I don’t want to attack you. That’s the deal.” 

27. “Sorry. Didn’t know that would blow up like that.” 

28. “They sure did design a lot of things in this facility to keep me out.” 

29. “Mum’s the word when it comes to whatever that is. If I said anything, I would be so disappointed in myself.” 

30. “Everybody jump down! Apparently it’s okay!” 

31. “I wonder how it all connects? I wonder what it all means? It’s all so confusing.” 

32. “I’m not going to let them go to waste. Just because they made that mistake does not mean that I need to go hungry.” 

33. “You kinda stink, buddy.” 

34. “Did you know your buddy kind of stinks?” 

35. “That’s quite a reset switch! Very inconvenient for even humans to deal with!” 

36. “You left me alive. That was your first mistake. You’re second was coming in to work today.” 

37. “I need to poop!” 

1. “No matter where you are in the world, no matter who you are, you need food to survive. That’s just truth.” 

2. “You can’t order a pizza when you’re in the middle of a war zone.” 

3. “I actually don’t know how to do any of this….” 

4. “I love how they shaped it like bread. I mean, it is bread, but I love how they shaped it like a loaf of bread.” 

5. “Here’s the complicated instructions. You get all that? Cool.” 

6. “Let’s frickin’ go for it, ______. I’m not here to pussyfoot around, I’m here to eat.” 

7. “Very squished, but smells delightful.” 

8. “I don’t like how I can smell it through the plastic. That’s probably not a good sign.” 

9. “This is supposed to be ______. Remember that. That is what this is supposed to be.” 

10. “I can’t even come close to reading ______, so I might do this completely wrong.” 

11. “I just realized that I won’t be able to read any of this, so I really don’t know what this says.” 

12. “We have tub of… meat, I think.” 

13. “Once you get past the exoskeleton, that’s a decent cracker.” 

14. “Kind of smushed. Kind of leaking. I don’t know if I trust this one.” 

15. “I’m a professional _____ and I know exactly what I’m doing at all times. So, uh… don’t do this.” 

16. “I’ve been instructed to not eat this, based on research that I am doing it completely wrong.” 

17. “This doesn’t taste like anything. What did I just put in my glass?” 

18. “None of these are a recognizable food, so I don’t know what to trust.” 

19. “If that was the drink mix, what the hell did I put in that last cup of water?” 

20. “You don’t tell a soul about this, okay? I’m going to put a doily on here. I’m going to put a doily on here, no one’s ever going to know about it, okay?” 

21. “These are the worst spoons of the bunch! These spoons are awful!”