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This past summer, I had an incredible experience out in Montana scouring the northern Morrison Formation for ancient beasts and lost worlds. It’s been part of an equally incredible year of research and related projects: I rode out to Chicago to get a firsthand look at some exciting new specimens from the depths of deep time (see image at the end of the post), I’ve been playing with some real old Leidy holotypes, I may have semi-accidentally so-far-informally commissioned Brian Engh for a painting or two, and I’m scheduled to present on the jaw morphology of Tiktaalik at SVP in Albuquerque in just over a week’s time.

However, all of this has been hindered by some sudden and unexpected challenges:

The high cost of city living, low income of museum work, and unforseen family medical issues over the summer have resulted in the uncomfortable but very real and scary fact that I am currently unable to properly take care of rent/utilities/personal bills.

Thankfully, I was able to register for SVP with enough advance notice, so I am still slated to present - but with not enough left to spare for flights/accomodation. Since 2019’s conference is in Australia, this year’s SVP will likely be the only major opportunity in my undergraduate years to network in person for potential job openings or grad school opportunities, and for once I know exactly who I need to talk to. But only if I’m there.

On top of all this, and probably the reason why it’s gotten so bad in the first place, at some point within the past few months my anxiety most likely developed into fullblown depression, which (in addition to the whole apathy and lack of motivation thing) is significantly more terrifying than I would have initially expected. Medication is obviously on my mind at this point. In theory I could deal with this after all the other stuff, but since I’m a bit new to all this that might not be the wisest of decisions.

I have not been able to reach out to family regarding any of this - partly because of the aforementioned medical issues, but mostly due to financial uncertainty on their end as well. Same goes for their own mental health - and I don’t want my own issues to potentially endanger their safety or well-being.

And with most other options exhausted, the only remaining (and admittedly shitty and unfair) option I could see involves turning to the folks on tumblr. Do I feel bad about it? Yes. But honestly I feel more scared right now than anything else.

As of now there are a few ways to help out:

PayPal: [email protected] (I know PayPal has a bit of a shitty reputation these days - if you know of decent alternatives, please feel free to share)

Venmo: @diplotomodon

And honestly even just shooting me a message is helpful at this point. I feel a little better when I can talk to people about it. And any questions are equally appreciated if you needed some things clarified (either publicly or privately).

Any support you can offer (through donations, messages, or reblogging/signal boosting), no matter how small it might seem, would mean the world to me right about now. I’ll provide updates as regularly as I can, and if I can promise one thing for sure, it’s that I’ll give it everything I’ve got to pay it forward.