BuckTommy Week

Not Without Feeding You

“I kinda can’t stop thinking about him” Freshly brewed coffee and double chocolate chip cookies

“What are you doing Saturday?” Chocolate covered strawberries and angel food cake

“Maybe that something could be with you” Drip coffee and berry scones

“You are a vision in a cone” Festive funfetti cupcakes and cake batter milkshakes

“Maybe it’s just me that makes you nervous” Fruit pizza bites and root beer floats

“My own boyfriend won’t even kiss me” Pumpkin spice Mocha and chocolate kisses

“Our people are what make life worth living” Hot chocolate and Spumoni ice cream sandwiches

Evan’s eyes slowly blinked open, his expression slightly startled as he took in Tommy.

“Think you can drink something?” Tommy asked. He waited for Evan to nod before grabbing the drink pack, carefully poking the straw in, making sure not to drip on Evan’s sheets.

He held it for Evan as he drank, pleased with the way the colour returned to Evan’s face. Evan finished it with a dramatic slurp, releasing the straw so Tommy could throw it out.

Tommy wiped a ruby red drop from Evan’s bottom lip with his thumb, letting Evan lick it off.

“What are you doing here?” Evan asked sleepily. “I thought you were on shift.”

“Hen called me,” Tommy said, laying down. “And I’d already used up my flight hours — we were busy, I’ll tell you about it later — so Melton didn’t mind letting me go early.”

“Yay for me,” Evan pulled him closer, nuzzling his face into the non-existent space between the pillow and Tommy’s neck.

Tommy held back a laugh as Evan squished himself closer, pushing Tommy onto his back so he could drape himself over Tommy like a weighted blanket. Evan pressed his face into Tommy’s neck again, inhaling deeply a few times before appearing to drift off again.

Tommy held Evan in place against him with one hand, running the other lightly up and down his spine. He yawned, starting to drift off himself.

He was nearly asleep when he was jolted awake by Evan trying to push him out of the bed.

“Wha— ?” Tommy started, trying to get his bearings and stop himself from falling on the floor.

“You shouldn’t be here!” Evan’s eyes were wild, his voice full of panic. He looked like he was gulping down air, hands shaking. Tommy knew that look, had seen it before at plenty of accident sites. “You need to go, you have to leave!”

“Evan,” Tommy said calmly, slowly positioning himself so he wasn’t on the verge of falling out of the bed, “it’s okay. I’m not going to leave. You’re okay, I’m okay. I promise.”

Evan clenched his hands into fists to stop the shaking. “You should leave, you shouldn’t be here.” A tear fell before he could stop it, and he sniffled. “You shouldn’t be here,” he repeated, curling in on himself on his side of the bed.

“Evan, it’s okay,” Tommy promised.

“It’s not,” Evan insisted. “The — every case is different. Who knows how I’m going to react?”

“I know that Hen wouldn’t have brought you home if you weren’t okay.” Tommy said, reaching out for Evan’s hand, but leaving it up to him to close that final gap. “That she got rid of any of the blood at the station from the same donor. And checked your fridge here. And gave you fresh blood.”

“Yeah, but,” Evan sniffled, his fingers inching out towards Tommy’s, but stopping short of touching them. “I could hurt you.”

“You’d never hurt me,” Tommy hoped Evan could hear the confidence in his voice as well as his steady heartbeat. “I’m always safe with you Evan.”

“You can’t know that for sure,” Evan argued, looking up.

“Yes I can.” Tommy smiled at him. “It’s you.”

“You have no sense of self preservation,” Evan told him as he took Tommy’s hand.

“This coming from you,” Tommy snorted, laying back down and pulling Evan on top of him. “Go back to sleep.”

Evan lets himself be moved, tucking his face back into Tommy’s neck. “What kind of vampire gets blood poisoning?” he scoffed, words muffled against Tommy’s skin.

“Same kind of vampire that tries to throw his boyfriend out of bed?” Tommy guessed. “I mean, it’s basically a vampire flu, right?”

“Hen said they probably had something I’m allergic to in their bloodstream when they donated,” Evan said.

“So we’ll be careful,” Tommy said, running his hands through Evan’s hair and playing with his messy curls. “You should let me donate more.”

“You’re my boyfriend, not a blood bag.”

Tommy can hear the scowl in his voice. “I’m offering,” Tommy tugged on a curl. “I want to.”

“I’ll consider it.” Evan said grudgingly.

Tommy tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck to Evan. “What about now?”

“I’m good,” Evan said, but Tommy felt him bite down gently on his neck anyways.

“Just want to make sure I have to wear my collared shirt for a few days?” Tommy teased.

“You know I can hear your blood moving?” Evan said. “I can feel your pulse but I can hear it too. I can follow a drop of blood through your body.”

Tommy felt his pulse quicken at that.

“Yeah, like that,” Evan murmured, kissing the bite. “Doesn’t that, I dunno, freak you out?”

“No,” Tommy said honestly. “Should it?”

“Someone knowing everything about you? Yeah, probably.”

“But it’s you.”

“You said that already.” Evan bit him again, harder this time. He licked the spot soothingly.

“Don’t start something you’re not going to finish,” Tommy said warningly.

“Oh, I’ll make sure we finish,” Evan said, trailing his lips along Tommy’s neck, detouring to lick at the hollow of his throat before leaning across to the other side of his neck to work on a matching bruise.

Tommy laughed and held Evan's face against his neck.

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“Are you about to tell me Chimney was in the army or something?” Buck narrowed his eyes at Tommy.

“No,” Tommy coughed awkwardly. “I meant me.”

“I don’t think you can get your ex benefits,” Buck gestured at himself.

“Spousal benefits,” Tommy clarified.

“Are… you proposing?” Buck spluttered. “I don’t think that’s the next step from being friends with your ex.”

Tommy looked like he was regretting saying anything. “Only on paper,” he clarified. “For the benefits.”

“You’re proposing… we get married… so I can get your benefits.” Buck repeated. “Did I get hit on the head?”

“It was just a thought,” Tommy muttered, looking away as his cheeks flushed.

“Hey,” Buck nudged Tommy’s foot, mirroring his earlier action. “Did you know you can get a marriage license in California in as little as half an hour?”

“Buck, why did you get mail sent to the firehouse?” Eddie asked, waving a manila envelope in the air to get his attention.

“Huh?” Buck looked up from where he and Bobby were prepping dinner.

“And what are you getting from the —” Eddie peered at the return label, “County Clerk’s office anyways?”

The blood drained from Buck’s face. “Eddie, give me that.”

“Oh, it's important,” Eddie teased. He tossed the envelope to Chimney as Buck abandoned the cooking and made to grab for it.

“Huh, we got an envelope like this when we got our…” Chimney trailed off.

“Your what?” Bobby asked, drawn into the dramatics.

“Hen?” Chimney held the envelope up for her to see. Eddie was guarding Buck like they were playing basketball again.

“Marriage license?” Hen said. “Karen and I got an envelope like that too.”

Everyone turned to look at Buck. Buck took advantage of their distraction and grabbed the envelope from Chimney, hugging it to his chest.

“You got married and didn’t invite Maddie? Oh, she’s going to be so mad.” Chimney told him.

“I didn’t—” Buck huffed. “It’s none of your business. I need to go make a call.”

“Listen, I just wanted to give you a heads up, the license came to my station instead of the department office,” Buck said into his phone, watching the station carefully from behind his Jeep to make sure none of his teammates could overhear him. “Yours might have too.”

“Oh, it did,” Tommy’s voice sounds vaguely amused. “I was just about to call you.”

“At least no one saw them, right?” Buck said.

“Actually,” Tommy said.

“Oh no,” Buck groaned.

“Yeah, Lucy opened it by accident, she was doing the rest of the station mail,” Tommy said apologetically. “Your team is probably going to know soon.”

Buck winced. “Yay.”

Chimney appeared in the station doorway. “TOMMY?!”

“So,” Buck said, seated at Tommy’s kitchen table while Tommy made them brunch, “Hen said something kind of weird to me the other day.”

“Hmm?” Tommy flipped the bacon.

“She said I shouldn’t lead you on,” Buck said. “Which — I mean, there’s nothing to lead on, right? I asked you to move in, you didn’t, now we’re friends. Mostly.”

“Mostly?” Tommy asked. “Rethinking our friendship?”

“Well, we’re also married for benefits, so I don’t really know where that falls on the friendship spectrum,” Buck admitted. “And you didn’t answer the question.”

Tommy plated their breakfasts, bringing them over to the table. Buck was content to wait him out as they settled into a mostly comfortable silence while they ate.

“I don’t think you're leading me on,” Tommy finally said, moving his last bit of egg around his plate with his fork, avoiding looking at Buck. “But, being friends with you… it does make me miss what we had before.”

“Tommy!” Buck’s voice was louder than he meant it to be, the exasperation obvious. “If you miss being together and I miss being together, what the hell are we doing just being friends?”

“Being idiots?”

“Well at least something’s obvious for once,” Buck said. “I thought when you agreed to be friends you didn’t have any feelings for me anymore.”

“I thought being friends was the only way to still have you in my life,” Tommy admitted. “I didn’t want to completely lose you.”

“Okay, so, we both have feelings for each other and only agreed to be friends because we thought the other person didn’t have feelings for us and it was the only way to stay in each other’s life? Do I have that right?”

Tommy nodded.

Buck smiled. “Well, how would you feel about dating your husband? It’s a little backwards maybe but that kind of feels like us.”

“I would love that,” Tommy said sincerely, reaching across the table to take Buck’s hand in a reversal of their first coffee date.

“And for our first joint couple decision — what kind of thank you basket should we get Hen?”

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“It’s different when you’re the one at home,” Tommy said. “When I have to go out to the forest fires, I definitely miss you but I also have a lot to keep me busy. But you’re gone and I’m here and it’s… lonely.”

“Oh,” Evan replied. “Yeah, I know that feeling. Sorry sweetheart. Which seminar do you want to hear about first?”

“Start at the beginning of the day,” Tommy said, pressing his face into Evan’s pillow and inhaling deeply, trying to catch the scent of his shampoo. “Don’t worry if I fall asleep.”

“Using me as a sleep aid, got it,” he can hear Evan’s smile through the phone. “It’s only two more days. Then I’ll be home and getting in your way as usual.”

“You don’t get in my way,” Tommy protested. “Anyways, I’ll probably cling to you like an octopus for the entire weekend. I don’t think you’re allowed to leave again.”

“I’ll bring you with me next time,” Evan promised. “Get you a week off work and you can be my trophy husband at the conferences.”

“You think we can make that happen?” Tommy asked sleepily.

“Captain Buckley-Kinard doesn’t go back on his promises,” Evan said. “And yeah, I think I have some favours I can call in.”

“Then I’d be happy to be your trophy husband at the conference,” Tommy yawned. “Tell me about your day.”

“Well, first it started with an awful buffet breakfast,” Evan said. “When you come with me, we’ll find a restaurant nearby to go to instead. Then there was a retired fire captain who spoke to us — he had some good ideas about building community across the fire houses, I’ll have to talk to a few people about that when I get back.”

“Sal, Melton and Hen would probably help with that,” Tommy said, eyes fully closed now.

“Yeah, I bet they would,” Evan agreed. “Then I got to go spend some time on the floor — oh, there were some cool new mounted lights I’d love to get for our helmets. I started working on a proposal during my first talk, because that guy was an idiot. I haven’t heard ideas that outdated since Gerrard.”

“Ew.”

“Right?” Evan’s voice took on an amused tone. “I left a lot of feedback about that session.”

Tommy let Evan keep talking, his phone on the pillow next to him so he could imagine Evan in their bedroom. He drifted off, imagining he could feel Evan’s fingers running through his hair.

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