fast depressarini’s

but fails to consider that ice is. so slippery.

Read the post and loved it exactly for the potential of what's in the tags: uh oh now David made it funnnn and Shane, quick little bean that he is, riiiight as he's getting to the edge of the rink, about to be picked up and passed to mom, gets up and skates away to the middle of the rink and PLOMP lays down on his back, giggling and kicking his little skates. "Again, Dad (Shane does not call David daddy in front of his friends, he's not a baby!), again!!"

“Sorry I’m a few days late with this chapter, I got swept up in a tsunami”

“late, lol, my bad my bestie got shot and I’m not okay about it (he’s fine, but I’m not gonna be able to write a lot for 6 weeks)”

“so I know someone getting buried in mud in a well is unrealistic but I did try and dig my best friend out when this happened to him, I won’t be taking comments on accuracy”

“sorry y’all I was in a coma for 3 days cause I got struck by lightning - but now I’m really good at math! Quiz me in the comments”

Masculanized an Asian character

Became a heartthrob as a POC

Gave an award-winning performance for a neurodivergent character

Is dating a woman after playing a gay man

Gets just as much praise as his white costar

Doesn't censor himself to fit in

So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports

And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else

The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized

Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning

“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”

“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”

“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”

“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”

“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”

“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”

“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”

“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”

“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”

*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”

“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”

established hollanov | centaurs!ilya era | fluff | 7.1k

“Yes, my Shane is very brave. Even if he’s scared,” he proudly declares, and then, as he is the biggest softie in the history of mankind, turns slightly to caress Shane’s head, stroking his dark hair while Shane feels like collapsing under the attention.

“I’m not,” he stubbornly mumbles, and Bood wants to scream because he swears he’s just witnessed the great Shane Hollander pout.

“You two are so cute,” instead he says, with a childlike glee in his voice.

“I am Russian. I cannot be cute, Bood,” Ilya immediately retorts, though. But then he grins and places his hand back in Shane’s hair. “Shane is really cute, though. My Shane is the cutest!”

Shane wishes he were stronger. If he were, he would slap his boyfriend’s hand away, telling him to stop petting him and referring to him like he would address Anya, but he is a weak, weak man when it comes to Ilya Rozanov, so he can’t help but snort and chuckle, eventually leaning more and more of his weight on the other man.

Dykstra seems to have listened to part of the conversation, because exactly when Bood wants to say something, he intervenes.

“I didn’t know Cap was such a sap, oh my God! Guys, come see!” He gleefully encourages their teammates to come up to them and witness Rozanov’s sweet side.

“What is sap, Hollander?” Ilya scrunches up his nose and asks Shane, who would just eat him whole (he is so cute, Russian and all).

“Like, disgustingly romantic? Maybe a fool?”

Ilya frowns. “Did Dykstra call me stupid?”

Shane laughs. “No, Ilya. It’s like– when someone is so in love that they act a bit foolish with their… lover,” he explains, putting a special emphasis on the word lover, enjoying the way his boyfriend’s eyes crinkle with joy.

He kisses his forehead for a split second, just because he can.

“Ah,” Ilya finally understands, cheeks flaming red despite Russians not blushing. “I, how you say, contain multiples. Shane tells me always.”

Everyone laughs, not in a mean or unkind way, and Shane is sure that he’s about to burst at the seams with all the love that is flowing through his veins.

“It’s multitudes, Ilya. I contain multitudes,” he gently corrects.