buchstabengeflüster

Es gibt nur wenige Momente, in denen es uns Menschen gelingt, einzig und allein für den Augenblick zu leben. In denen es keine Zukunft und keine Vergangenheit gibt, sondern nur ein Hier und ein Jetzt.

Manchmal, so scheint es, überlegt das Herz, ob es noch schlagen will.

We were just there together. And that was enough.

So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still try to feel okay about them.

Because things change. And friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody.

I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you've wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning. It's getting that bad again.

That nice feeling when you look in the mirror and your hair ist right for the first time in your life. I don't think we should base so much on weight, muscels and a good hair day, but when it happens, it's nice. It really is.

Because we are all supposed to think of reasons to live.

We accept the love we thing we deserve.

I wish I knew. It might make me miss him more clearly. It might have made sad sense.

So this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.

The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we'd done were less real and important than they had been hours before.

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. But, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

"That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt."

And in the end blood and tears are alike because they stop too. You can't have either go on forever. You will go on - I did, I am, get up, day goes by, nighttime, bed, sleep to wake up and do it all over again over and over and over and over like we pray in church, world without end.