Bubby Dean

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Some good news, I’ve been talking to two developers now and got them working together, we just had a meeting with the guys behind an existing large (millions of users) site similar to Tumblr, with a vibrant and open-minded community, and more importantly, it has open-minded owners who believe in free speech. They think we can get something done here to rescue the whole community.

I’m not allowed to reveal the site name yet. I can tell you it’s mainstream, open to everyone, open-minded and welcoming. (It’s not WordPress or any site owned by Facebook or Twitter. It’s not Pillowfort, that’s in closed beta. It’s not Ello, that’s mainly for artists. It’s not kinkspace or fetlife, those are too specialist. It’s not jux, that seems to be closed. It’s not Soup, that seems still in development and too small.)

One of the reasons for delaying the announcement for next few days is they don’t want a “land grab” where people take the names of current popular Tumblr users over there (cyber squatting). So they are looking at ways for existing Tumblr users to keep the same names on the new site.

More info over the days to come.

The plan is, broadly:

1. By December 9th, announcement of the new site and how to secure your username there

2. By December 10th, an online tool for bloggers to copy their existing content to the new site automatically, with the same tags and captions.

3. Bloggers will need to copy their content across between December 10th and December 17th if they want to use the automatic tool.

4. My understanding is that after December 17th there will be no public access to any “flagged” posts on Tumblr, but the original poster will still be able to see the flagged post (for a short time at least). Therefore, the original poster may still be able to manually download a post to their own PC or phone, after December 17th, and manually upload it to the other site. But if you have lots of posts that will take a long time, it will be better to use the automatic tool before December 17th.

Please understand that these dates are approximate and may change for technical or other reasons.

There may be a few rough edges or not so perfect looking site design on the transfer tool. Everyone is doing their best. The main goal here is to help as many people as possible preserve access to their content, in the short space of time Tumblr has allowed us, and preserve as much as possible of the Tumblr community spirit somewhere new.

The new site will cater for photo, GIF, text and html posts. It will not offer video and audio posts, due to cost reasons - maybe in future, but for now you will need to preserve video and audio content yourself in some other place.

If your Tumblr blog has a mixture of original content and reblogs, or all reblogs, all of that can be copied over to the new site. Reblogs will become “your” original content if nobody else posted them yet, otherwise they will be shown as reblogs. The devs are looking at ways to preserve attribution of reblogs back to the original Tumblr poster, if that person also moves to the new site.

Important: your Likes cannot be copied from Tumblr to the new site. You will have to go find the same posts again on the new site, and like them afresh.

(Similarly, existing reblog comments, asks, messages and other user interaction on Tumblr cannot be copied to the new site - that’s just too much to do, in the short time available.)

If you want to preserve any of your existing Liked posts on Tumblr, you will need to either: (1) download the post to your own PC, or: (2A) reblog it now to your own Tumblr blog, and then (2B) use the automatic tool, before December 17th, to move your whole Tumblr blog across to the new site.

If you have Liked a lot of posts here on Tumblr, the gridllr.com webapp should be able to help you do steps 1 and 2A quickly, I mean download or reblog.

(Someone complained to me today about the appearance of Gridllr on a phone. It’s best to use Gridllr on a PC, Mac or Tablet with a large screen.)

If you have liked a post here on Tumblr and the original poster decides to delete it, or even to delete their entire blog, some time before December 17th, then that post will be permanently lost. So if you want to be sure to preserve any of your Liked posts, you should best download or reblog as soon as possible. If it’s reblogged to your own blog it is safe from deletion, at least for next few days.

I thought I’d write a little about how I have gone from my initial reaction to my boyfriend’s coming out as ABDL (adult baby, diaper lover), which was along these lines:

OK, you like a harmless, peculiar, thing. I find the thought of you indulging in it unappealing, and a bit of a turn off, but I am happy for you to indulge, as long as you are happy for me not to be involved. Never hide it from me, and never be ashamed.

To my current feelings, which are: 

I GET TO BE A LITTLE GIRL! I AM EXCITE! And hopefully that will go well and then I can be a caregiver to you as a little too! And then we can play TOGETHER as a pair of littles! And oh my gosh, it’d be great if I can go to his event soon with him.

How did this change happen? I’ve thought about it at length. The things that have really helped have been:

1. He explained at the start that it’s not entirely just sexual (in fact, I think he said it wasn’t really sexual at all - hah! I think that was a white lie, what I needed to hear at the time). He clearly explained to me how it’s about feeling safe, cosy, loved and being in a different frame of mind where the usual adult junk doesn’t matter. I know for some people it’s not sexual at all, and for others, it’s majorly sexy, but what he said made me comfortable at the time. He used the phrase ‘age play’ to describe his fetish, which I found easier to deal with than ‘diaper fetish’ or something. 

2. He made it clear I could ask ANY questions, WHENEVER I wanted, and made sure he answered them all sincerely, frankly, and as as clearly as he could. Some of them took a while to answer - like when I started to ask how it is sexy to him. This is because he hasn’t had to answer those questions before. If he was stuck on how to answer something, he told me so, and I patiently put it on the back-burner. I found his frankness, clarity of thought and ability to articulate some difficult stuff really attractive. He’s a good ‘un. 

3. He made it clear that I don’t have to do anything or get involved. It could entirely just be his thing, that he goes off to events to enjoy a few times a year, or in his alone time. This put me at ease - no pressure! That was great. 

4. When I started exploring the fetish, he expressed how super happy it made him (even if it was a bit surreal for him!). I checked out some sites, to see what sort of clothes he might wear, and when I felt brave enough, sent him a link to a romper that I thought he could get away with wearing as cute pajamas around the house, that wasn’t TOO babyish. He made it clear he was really touched that I was even curious. Positive reinforcement is a great motivator!

5. He explained to me that it isn’t related to some childhood trauma, and stressed that he had a brilliant childhood. He tackled that subject head on, and that put my mind at rest, and meant I wasn’t wondering about how to engage in such a delicate conversation. It’s not my business, of course, unless he chooses to make it as such, but I would hate to accidentally trigger some disturbing memories in chatting around ABDL stuff. I know this will vary a lot for other folk, and I have my own issues in that area, but it helped me to understand that it’s just how he is built. 

6. He made it clear it didn’t involve anyone else, aside from folk he plays with at events / meet ups, and the folk who change him. He doesn’t have what I’d now call a caregiver, and events don’t involve any sexy happenings with other people. 

7. When I expressed an interest in seeing sexy changing times, he hooked me right up with some videos. I’ve got a soft spot for porn where one partner is submissive and dominated in the most genteel way (massage videos?! Jeez, I can’t imagine just lying there in the buff, fully lit, in such an intense situation. I know, I’m such a weed :D ). This has replaced the slightly rougher stuff I was into when I was younger. After seeing a few bits on Tumblr, I realised that changing times might be considered gentle sub-dom. It was a bit less weird than I expected. In fact, the first video I chose to watch featured lockable mittens and I was over the moon to see such adorable fetish equipment. Now I’ve seen some that are downright hot. Lovely smut :)  

8. We talk about our fantasies. This isn’t always easy, and I think he still worries about me being grossed out by his interests, but the long and short of it is, my boyfriend wants me to wear some giant padded undies, cute clothes that I adore, and take me for a picnic. I may or may not find it super sexy, but that just sounds like a great afternoon! And I wouldn’t have to pee in the bushes in the park ;). I know that if I wanted to try something different, he’d be happy to hear me out and give it some serious thought. 

9. Finally, and most importantly, I think, is he has both a sense of scale and a sense of humour about his ABDL desires. For instance, when I told him I was curious and interested in trying out being a little, he asked if he had to watch Formula 1 with me in return, a sport I love and he thinks is rubbish. Newp ;). His ability to laugh at the situation keeps me at ease.