Playing Adult @bubblezombie - Tumblr Blog

"he is not my president" bumper sticker with a picture of some random guy that has never been president

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hollowboobtheory

imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice

ashstfu

i was so angry at everything when i was 15. and i was right

feel-like-expl0sions

chasing cars by snow patrol really hits harder everytime i listen to it like,, what if i DID just lay here???? would u lie with me and just forget the world??????? please???????????

what-even-is-thiss

Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.

what-even-is-thiss

Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?

Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. It’s still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.

Me: What kind of competition?

Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but I’ve never seen one.

what-even-is-thiss

Me: Okay so why shouldn’t I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?

Fairy: That’s mostly a regional thing but where I’m from it’s insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something that’s like calling them poor.

Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?

Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if I’m being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.

Me: Do you have Internet down there?

Fairy: Only dial-up. That’s why I come to your house.

what-even-is-thiss

Fairy: So you’re telling me that human men don’t think that frog eyes are sexy?

Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.

Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.

Me: Hey man you don’t have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.

Fairy: You really think so?

Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.

Fairy: Thanks, man. That means a lot.

what-even-is-thiss

Fairy: So humans... don’t eat glass?

Me: No? It’ll cut up our insides and kill us.

Fairy: Ooohhhh. Oh no.

Me: What did you do now?

Fairy: More like... what I’ve done over the past three centuries since I moved out of my mom’s house.

Me: Did the coughing up of blood not cue you into anything?!?!!

Fairy: I thought that humans just spontaneously die sometimes!

Me: No we don’t! There’s physical reasons for these things!

Fairy: So... no more bringing nightshade and glass entrees to the potluck?

Me: No!

what-even-is-thiss

Me: So why mushrooms as portals?

Fairies: Look man, even we don’t mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and it’s just best to not question it.

Me: So wait. You don’t make the fairy circles?

Fairy: No. Mushrooms decide.

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animalcrossingmemes

toshio

intensional

Your blog fails to make me smile :) I love you!

did you forget the word never or is this a hate message

doctorwhoincorrectquotes

Rory: Would you consider us adorable?

11: No! We’re adult men.

11: We’re cute.

maisonderriere

allisonpregler

Honestly it didn’t make me truly laugh until Darth Vader came tootling tooting out and then I lost it.

vmae

WHAT IS THIS OH MY GOD

silentsaebyeok-deactivated20200

I’m just gonna add this:

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speciesbarocus

Lambs carried by donkeys in special side-saddle as flocks of sheep move from pre-Alpine hills to summer pastures on Lombard plains.

> Photo by Elspeth Kinneir.

annabellesacres

Lamborghini

taraljc

Stop.

sirensorisons

my friend is watching death note for the first time and this is what he had to say about light

cozycullens

2019 twilight AU where most of drama in eclipse happens via edward texting bella memes like this at 3am

the-knights-who-say-book

today my dad said “why do people binge watch entire seasons? it’s not like you’d get a book and read it in one night” so i’m not convinced he knows anything about what i do in my freetime

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

dankmemeuniversity

gaelgarcia

Your Daily Dose Of Jonas February 2008 / February 2019

THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE BACK!

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