𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸

the reason behind your drowsiness could easily be disguised as a bad morning. the morning could have certainly been better — your alarm hadn't gone off, the rug had somehow made you trip, and you had stubbed your toe against the sharp edge of the door. but those were just excuses. the primary cause of your exhaustion was the fact that you had been awake until 3:00 a.m., sitting in the glow of a ring light and livestreaming while spreading your legs for strangers.

initially, you had no intentions of doing anything of the sort. hell, you were far too shy to even entertain the thought — a camgirl ? but when you started university, you realised soon enough that even though your hard work had earned you a scholarship for tuition; the costs of accommodation, food, and daily expenses were piling up. however you couldn't bring yourself to ask your parents for a single cent more.

that’s when you stumbled across the advertisement — www.lovecamgirl.com. it was practically calling out to you, promising hundreds of dollars in tips in a single day just for streaming yourself. the hook ? you weren't even required to show your face.

you didn't truly believe the 'hundreds of dollars' statement, but you figured even if that amount appeared over a month, you could finally tide over. you might even be able to send some money home to your parents after all they had done for you. you were still mulling it over when you were told that the affordable housing for scholarship students was full, forcing you into a single-share apartment with a much higher rent. the decision was made.

to everyone around you, you were just shy, soft and unassuming. even your small circle of friends saw you as the 'baby' of the group, the one they felt the need to protect because of your quiet nature. to them, you were the girl who lived in cozy, neutral and pastel toned clothes and always sat by the window, the one who answered the professor’s questions with a studious confidence that only surfaced during academic discussions.

they had no idea that while they were out at late-night parties, you were locked in your room, living a secret. you were the girl who blushed when a classmate looked at you for too long, yet you were also the girl who spent her nights in front of a camera, letting out those same shy, giggly sounds for an audience that worshipped the parts of you your cardigan hid.

stifling another yawn, you shifted in your seat as your gaze strayed. just a few rows down, a mop of dark hair moved. han jisung shifted in his chair, his shoulders tensing as he leaned over his laptop, seemingly engrossed in the lecture. you watched him for a heartbeat too long —

yes, you had a big fat crush on han jisung.

but was it really your fault when he was just perfect in every sense of the word ?

he was the definition of an academic weapon, possessing a mind that seemed to move a mile a minute. unlike your quiet, observant approach to academics, jisung was vocal. he was the star of every debate, his voice steady and persuasive as he dismantled complex theories with an effortless grace.

he didn't just ace exams; he set the curve, his name always sitting comfortably at the top of the leaderboard. there was a magnetic sort of brilliance to him, an intensity that made him appear both grounded and entirely out of reach. he moved through the university halls with a casual, easygoing confidence, often surrounded by friends but always looking like he was five steps ahead of everyone else in the room.

you found a strange sort of comfort in the way your names were always linked at the top of the department rankings. it wasn't a bitter rivalry, but rather a healthy, silent competition that kept you both on your toes. while he commanded the room with his speeches, you were the one whose written proofs were whispered about for their elegance and precision. you matched him step for step, grade for grade, your intellectual wavelengths perfectly in sync even if you were too bashful to ever strike up a real conversation about it.

watching him now, it felt unfair that someone so intellectually gifted could also look like he had been sculpted by god. the black cotton of his shirt stretched taut across his broad shoulders, tapering down into a deceptively thin waist. when he leaned forward to type, the movement emphasized the lean muscle of his back and the faint ripple of his pectorals.

even from this distance, you could see the way his biceps flexed against the hem of his sleeves and the subtle veins protruding on his neck as he tilted his head to look at the board. his jawline was sharp, clean, and framed perfectly by the frames of his glasses. it was a mystery how he even found the time to go to the gym after juggling such a demanding course load, but the results were undeniable.

he was a walking contradiction — a top-tier nerd with the body of an athlete — and every time he ran a hand through his soft hair, you felt your heart stutter in your chest.

you wondered if he ever felt the same exhaustion you did, or if his nights were spent as productively as his days.

little did you know, jisung’s body was itching to turn around and take a look at the sweet girl near the window — you — even if just for a second. he was just as aware of you as you were of him. to him, you were the girl who proved herself through every action, whether it was shattering expectations on exams or delivering projects with a meticulous flair that he deeply admired. your quiet nature seemed to comfort everyone around you, while your razor-sharp skills disarmed them in the same minute.

he had taken a liking to you ever since you first approached him in the first semester, your sweet, hesitant voice asking him where the classroom was while you clutched your bag to your chest. that one interaction had been the catalyst; slowly, without even realizing it, he had fallen for you. he found himself looking for you in every crowded room, his heart doing a strange little flip whenever he saw your name next to his on the results sheet.

you were still admiring him, completely zoned out, when the head you were focused on suddenly turned. his eyes, sharp and clear behind his glasses, landed —

directly.

on.

you.

a violent shiver ran down your spine as you instantly snapped your gaze toward the window, your heart hammering against your ribs. the heat in your cheeks was instantaneous — a deep, burning crimson that made you want to bury your face in your cardigan and never come out. you were certain you’d been caught, that your wide-eyed staring had been far too obvious to a boy as observant as jisung.

after a few excruciating seconds of staring at the campus trees, you couldn't help yourself. you stole another short glimpse, half-expecting him to have turned back to his laptop. but he hadn't moved. he was still looking at you, his head tilted slightly to the side, an unreadable expression dancing in his eyes.

gathering every ounce of courage you possessed, you offered him a tiny, hesitant smile — the kind of soft, bashful expression that would redeem you from this embarrassing moment, hopefully. his reaction was immediate. his own lips curled into a reciprocal smile, one that wasn't just polite, but warm and genuine, making his eyes crinkle at the corners.

you quickly looked down at your notes, your vision blurring as you tried to focus on the equations again. the interaction had lasted only a few heartbeats, but it was enough to make your earlier drowsiness vanish, replaced by a buzzing, electric energy.

on the other side of the row, jisung turned back to the front, but his hands were trembling slightly as they hit the keys. that smile. what he wouldn't do to keep you smiling at him —

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

the next week at university was hectic, to say the least. assignment submissions were due in a relentless wave, keeping you tethered to your desk until your eyes burned. it was the final push before the end-of-semester projects were even discussed, the upcoming weeks promised to be even more intense once partners were officially assigned and due dates announced.

you already had a feeling who your partner might be, a silent hope that the department would pair the two top students together, but that was a bridge to cross in the future.

​for now, you were just exhausted.

​after a gruesome week of toiling hard and finally submitting every last assignment, you reached your apartment late in the evening. having already eaten on campus, you locked the door behind you with a relieved sigh, the click of the deadbolt signaling the end of your public persona for the day. you headed straight toward the bathroom, desperate to wash the remnants of the week off of you.

​you enjoyed a long, indulgent bath, feeling your tired muscles finally relax under the steady stream of warm water. the epsom salts seemed to work wonders, drawing the tension from your limbs as you soaked in the quiet stillness of your sanctuary. it had been an entire week since you last streamed, the chaos of university life forcing your secret identity into the shadows, but you planned to go live tonight.

initially, the idea of camming had terrified you — the very thought of putting yourself out there for strangers to see made your stomach churn with a cold, hollow anxiety. you were the girl who avoided eye contact in the hallways, the one who felt exposed if your cardigan slipped too far off your shoulder in public. you had spent your whole life trying to minimize yourself, convinced that the weight of your curves made you stand out in ways that were clumsy rather than beautiful. the transition from that girl to a "camgirl" felt like a leap you weren't sure you could survive.

but as the weeks went by, the fear began to morph into something else — something that felt dangerously like freedom.

there was a strange, intoxicating power in being faceless. behind the lens. you were just a silhouette of honeyed skin and deep, inviting dips. the things that usually made you feel self-conscious in the real world — the way your thighs were heavy and soft, spreading out comfortably when you sat down, or the way your waist seemed to disappear into the generous curve of your hips — were suddenly the very things being worshipped.

you realized that the people on the other side of the screen didn't want you to be the 'ideal' you saw in magazines. they loved your fullness. they praised the plushness of your body, the way your skin yielded under the pressure of your own fingertips, and the soft, rounded lines that your university wardrobe worked so hard to disguise.

for the first time in your life, you started to see your curves not as something to be managed, but as something to be celebrated. the comments weren't just vulgar demands; they were affirmations that transformed your body into a masterpiece of soft, tactile beauty.

it empowered you in a sense. it gave you a quiet confidence that started to bleed into your daily life. when you sat in class and felt the fabric of your jeans stretching over your thighs, you were no longer overly aware. you knew, with a secret, thrumming heat in your chest, that you were the girl thousands of people stayed up for just to catch a glimpse of those very same curves.

stepping out of the bathroom, you dried yourself off and caught your reflection in the steamed-up mirror. you wiped a small circle clear, looking at the soft flush of your skin and the way your damp hair clung to the dip of your lower back. your body felt heavy in the best way possible, anchored and real. you weren't scared anymore. tonight, you were looking forward to the shift — from the girl who hid her body to the girl who owned it.

as you began pulling out the ring light and the familiar, faceless setup, you felt the weight of the assignments and the stressful week finally start to lift. you reached for your favourite outfit — a pair of tight, high-waisted denim shorts that bit just enough into your skin to emphasize the swell of your hips, and a soft, long-sleeved black top that clung to your curves like a second skin.

the main highlight for today, however, were the black lace stockings you donned.

as you pulled the delicate lace up, you watched with a thrum of quiet satisfaction as the elastic tops dug into the plushness of your thighs. the skin spilled over the intricate floral patterns, creating a soft, pillowy overflow that looked almost edible under the warm glow of the ring light. the contrast was striking — the rough blue denim, the sheer black lace, and the pale, smooth expanse of your thighs.

you adjusted the camera angle, ensuring the frame captured the dip of your waist and the way the shorts rode up just enough to showcase the lace biting into your skin. you settled onto the edge of your bed, the fabric of your top stretching across your chest as you leaned back, letting out a small, relieved sigh.

• moonlit_haze is live •

the notification pinged, and within seconds, the room started filling up. the dashboard lit up with a chaotic flurry of comments and tips, the icons dancing in the dark of your room as you settled into your spot. you smiled, shyly waving into the camera while making sure only your body from the neck down was visible.

little did you know, han jisung had just slammed his laptop shut after finishing the last of his economics data entries. his eyes were burning, his shoulders were tight, and he was ready to collapse — until his phone buzzed. the notification lit up his dark room, and his breath hitched. he didn't even hesitate, clicking the link and leaning back in his chair as the image of your thighs, spilling over those lace stockings, filled his screen.

"hi guys, it's been a minute since i've been here, hm ?" your voice was a melodic murmur. you watched the screen as the first few comments popped up:

onlyforher_65 ($50): curvy goddess !!

sam75rover ($40): missed you so much, those thighs are life saving.

kals.forlife ($35): you look so good tonight.

"hi and welcome," you replied softly, your hands coming to rest on your thighs. the lace of your stockings felt intricate under your palms, a grounding sensation as you pulled at your sleeve, revealing the thin black bra strap against your shoulder.

then, your eyes landed on the one comment that always made your heart skip a beat.

j.one_01 ($100): hi sweetheart, you look heavenly in lace.

this was your regular viewer and, you might secretly add, the absolute best one. the others were still sweet and appreciative, but j.one always said the right things that. he had this way of making you feel hotter, sexier, and more in tune with your own body. on the days when you took things further, he was the one who guided you, his words acting like a physical touch that helped you reach heights of pleasure faster than you ever thought possible.

"hi, j.one," you whispered, your voice turning a fraction more intimate as you ignored the rest of the scrolling chat. you shifted your weight, the denim of your shorts pulling tight across your hips as you leaned just a bit closer to the mic. your top slid off one shoulder as your black lace bra came into view. "i was hoping you’d show up tonight. do you really like the lace ?"

han jisung felt his throat go dry. he was sitting in his darkened dorm room, the blue light reflecting off his glasses as he watched the way your fingers dug slightly into the soft give of your thighs, the black lace biting into your skin.

j.one_01 ($100): i love it baby. especially the way it looks against your skin.

fuck — the nicknames from him hit you somewhere below your abdomen, settling down into a warm pit right over your heat. you felt a thrum of heat settle low in your belly at his words, keeping your hands right where they were for a second, fingers splayed over the floral lace.

slowly, you reached for the hem of your black top. with a soft, steady pull, you removed it, tossing it somewhere off-camera. your entire bra and beautiful, curvy chest came into view, the soft light catching the swell of your breasts and the deep curve of your waist.

​as you shifted, the ring light caught the delicate ink etched into the soft skin of your side. an elegant lily bloomed across your waist, the petals dark against your pale skin, moving slightly with every breath you took. it was a permanent, beautiful tattoo that felt almost too personal for the hundreds of strangers watching, but it made the view feel all the more intimate.

the comments flowed in faster than you could track:

softspot404 ($60): oh my god... the wait was so worth it.

knightrider24 ($45): look at that silhouette. goddess tier.

dr3am3rb0y ($55): the contrast between the ink and your skin is insane.

you bit your lip, a small, breathless giggle escaping as you looked at the numbers climbing. "do you guys like the view ?" you whispered, your hands sliding up from your lace-clad thighs to rest just beneath your bust, framing the curves that usually stayed hidden under your oversized university sweaters.

​on the other side of the screen, han jisung’s breath hitched so hard it actually hurt. he gripped the edge of his desk, his eyes wide behind his glasses as he leaned into the screen. the sight of you — so soft, so beautifully shaped — sent a wave of heat crashing over him.

to him, you were a mystery, a girl who existed only in this moonlit room, but the pull he felt toward you was becoming dangerously intense. he felt a strange, magnetic connection to the way you moved, a sense of familiarity he couldn't quite place, but he was too far gone in the moment to think about anything but the screen.

​his heart was hammering a frantic rhythm against his ribs as he typed with trembling hands, his mind completely wiped of every thought.

​j.one_01 ($150): you’re breathtaking, sweetheart. i can’t take my eyes off you.

you blushed, your head falling down as you murmured a thank you softly, the sound barely audible over the hum of the laptop. your hands came together to play with the intricate lace hem of your stockings, a nervous habit that coincidentally pushed your breasts together, creating a deep, enticing cleavage that made the chat go wild.

"i... i missed you guys," you whispered, the adrenaline of the week's stress finally venting into this secret, heated space.

without another word, you reached for the button of your denim shorts. with a soft rustle, you pushed them down your legs, kicking them aside. now, you were just in your black lace underwear and those stockings that bit so perfectly into your skin. your thick thighs were the undisputed center of the frame, honeyed soft skin against the dark, delicate lace.

the chat was a blur of numbers and exclamations, but one message cut through the noise with a weight that made your breath hitch.

j.one_01: fuck angel — spread those thighs for me ?

the request sent a jolt straight to your core.

how could you not fulfill his request ? slowly, you obeyed, spreading your legs just enough for your thighs to spill over the tops of the stockings in that pillowy, soft way you knew he loved.

on the other side of the screen, jisung felt like he was losing his mind. he wanted nothing more than to reach through the monitor, to feel the warmth of that skin, to bury his face in the soft give of your thighs and just drown in you. you were so soft, so perfectly shaped, and the way you yielded to his words made his heart hammer against his ribs.

"i actually brought something new today," you murmured, your voice trembling with a mix of shy excitement and genuine heat. you reached off-camera and pulled out a thick dildo, the cool weight of the silicone heavy in your palm. "i wanted to try it out... for you."

the 'you' was a secret arrow shot directly at j.one_01, a silent promise meant only for him even if the rest of the chat erupted in a frenzy, selfishly assuming the gift was theirs.

you wanted to see what the sight of it would do to him — what depraved, beautiful things he’d ask you to do. your mind raced with the possibilities. maybe rubbing it up and down with your hands, maybe licking and gagging around the blunt top, or just maybe, stuffing it inside your sopping heat. a sharp ping of a tip snapped you back to the present, your heart hammering a frantic rhythm against your ribs.

jisung practically jolted in his seat, his cock jumping and getting painfully hard. he felt a possessive surge of adrenaline, his breath hitching as he leaned so close to the screen his glasses nearly fogged. the thought that you were singling him out, even in a room full of strangers, made his blood roar in his ears. he gripped the edge of his desk until his knuckles turned white, his mind completely consumed by the sight of your soft, small hands wrapped around that thick toy.

j.one_01 ($200): show me how it fits between those thighs, sweetheart. give it a thigh job. i want to see the lace rubbing against it while you squeeze.

your face went hot, a deep, blooming flush spreading down your chest. you should have seen this coming; his obsession with your lower half was a borderline religion. he was utterly fixated on the way your skin yielded, always worshipping the thick, pillowy expanse of your legs as if they were his personal sanctuary. to him, your thighs weren't just a feature — they were a trap he wanted to be caught in, and knowing he wanted to see them suffocate that toy made your head spin with a heavy thrill.

you intended to give him exactly what he wanted.

you settled back, bracing yourself on your elbows, and positioned the toy right in the dip where your thighs met, the black lace framing the scene like a dark, erotic portrait. as the silicone sat snug between your legs, you felt the cool girth of it pressing against your heat. you began to squeeze your legs together, the toy nearly disappearing into the soft, plush curves of your skin as you moved it back and forth. your hands reached down, kneading the parts of your own thighs that couldn't cover the toy, the friction of the lace against the silicone creating a rhythmic, wet sound that filled your quiet room.

jisung knew you were an angel — that's why he called you one — but this ? you were heaven-sent, doing exactly what he wanted and clearly finding your own pleasure in the pressure. he watched the way your skin overflowed over the lace, the way you squeezed until your muscles trembled, and he wanted nothing more than to be the one held there, to be the one suffocated by the warmth of you.

"is this... what you wanted ?" you breathed out, your eyes squeezed shut as the friction against your own skin started to push you toward that familiar, hazy edge. you could feel your mind drift to the ace student you harbored a secret crush on, imagining his hands where the toy was, his focused, sharp gaze replaced by the glowing text on your screen.

on the other side of the screen, jisung was a mess. his vision blurred, his chest heaving in a ragged rhythm as he watched your hips stutter. he was too far gone, one hand wrapped tightly around his hard cock, stroking it with a desperate, heavy friction that matched the pace of your thighs. his other hand's fingers flew across the keys.

j.one_01 ($200): spit on it, angel. get it messy.

you swore you could feel yourself drip onto the mattress, your lace panties sticking to your swollen, puffy pussy lips. the sheer filthiness of the request made your head spin. you slowly leaned over, letting a thick drop of spit fall onto the head of the toy, watching it glisten under the ring light before you spread the slickness over the length with your hands.

jisung's mind was completely hijacked by the sight of you getting messy just because he asked. and when you started whimpering — it was the end for him. his pace increased, precum dripping around his shaft giving the much needed lubrication. the schlick sounds echoed in his ears as he watched the dildo disappear between your spit covered thighs, the squelches soothing the itch in his brain.

your eyes were glassy, your breath coming in broken, desperate hitches as you increased your speed, your thighs grinding together with an intensity that made the lace groan. soft, needy whimpers began to escape you as the silicone rubbed against your clit through your panties. the drenched fabric of your underwear provided the perfect, searing amount of friction, making every slide of the toy feel raw and uninhibited.

in the haze of the friction, your mind traitorously drifted to the library — to the way jisung’s glasses would slide down his nose when he was focused, or the way his blunt fingers tapped against his textbook. a part of you wondered if he ever felt a hunger like this, or if he would look at you with that same quiet intensity if he ever saw the way your thighs were currently suffocating the toy.

"is... is this good?" you whimpered, your head tossing back and exposing the vulnerable line of your throat. "y-you like — mmmmm — like this? j.one — fuck — tell me... nghhh... i'm being a good girl, right ? it’s so wet..." you whined, "please, look at me... look what you're making me do..."

your whimpers sent jisung's brain reeling as he increased his pace, assisting you alongside.

j.one_01 ($250): fuck, yes. keep making those sounds, angel. i’m right there with you. squeeze it until you break — cum for me, angel.

the command snapped you back, shattering the last of your restraint. your back arched off the mattress, a loud, broken moan tearing from your throat as your core began to pulse in heavy, rhythmic waves. you squeezed your thighs together one last time, suffocating the toy between your curves as you finally broke, your mind white with the force of the orgasm.

jisung let out a low, guttural growl, his own body jerking as he finally followed you over the cliff. he came hard, his hand trembling as he watched you go limp on the screen, your chest heaving and your skin slick with sweat and spit. he slumped back in his chair, staring at the sight of his 'angel' finally quiet and spent.

you stayed like that for a long moment, your chest heaving in the quiet room as the cooling sweat made the lace of your stockings feel heavy against your skin. the 'live' indicator was still pulsing red, a reminder that thousands had just witnessed your undoing, but to you, the room felt empty of everyone but the ghost of his presence. the hundreds of other usernames and their repetitive praise had blurred into a gray fog — for you, the only thing that had been real was the weight of j.one_01's words and the way they had forced your body to break.

you reached out with a trembling hand, your fingers hovering over the trackpad. you stole one last glance at his name at the top of the donor list, a small, shy smile tugging at your lips that he couldn't see. your mind flickered back to han for a split second — imagining him sitting in a quiet room somewhere, perhaps just as breathless as you were — before you shook the thought away.

"i'm... i'm going now," you whispered, your voice thick and honey-slow from the afterglow. "thank you for being here tonight. especially you, j.one."

with a final, soft click, the red light died. the screen went black, leaving you alone in the dim glow of your desk lamp. the silence of the room rushed back in, heavy and thick, as you sat there in your black lace and damp underwear, the phantom heat of the stream still humming under your skin. you took a shaky breath, finally letting your muscles relax into the mattress, wondering if the boy in the lecture hall would notice the subtle glow in your eyes when you saw him tomorrow.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

the week that followed was a blur of high-stakes pressure and library lights. with the semester-end projects looming, the university was a pressure cooker of stress. the professor's voice droned on about the final weighting of the semester projects, and then, the announcement hit the air.

"for the final research analysis, i've paired the top two performers. han jisung and..."

your heart skipped when you heard your name alongside his. you turned your head just enough to see him — the department’s golden boy. he was currently leaning back in his seat, his expression unreadable as he caught your eye. to you, he was the untouchable genius of the class.

on the other side of the row, jisung felt a strange jolt of electricity. he had been watching you all semester, admiring the way you solved complex models with ease. to him, you were the perfect, composed topper — the one girl who actually challenged his intellect.

the walk to the library was filled with a thick, awkward silence. the late afternoon sun hit the campus, casting long shadows as you walked side-by-side, careful to keep a respectful distance.

"i have the preliminary data on the drive," jisung said, his voice a low, steady rasp that sent a shiver down your spine. "we can start with the variable adjustments."

"sounds good," you murmured, pulling your oversized cardigan tighter around you. "i’ve already looked into the qualitative side."

you settled into a secluded mahogany table in the very back of the library, the air smelling of old paper and dust. for two hours, the only sound was the clicking of keys and the occasional rustle of pages.

​"if we adjust the variable here —" jisung started, his voice low and gravelly from lack of sleep. he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, his eyes fixed on the laptop screen.

​you nodded, reaching for your notes. "then the projected growth should stabilize... right ?"

​your voice was small, and for a split second, jisung’s eyes flickered to yours. he lingered there just a heartbeat too long, a strange, unreadable shadow crossing his face before he looked back down, nodding in agreement.

"okay, i'll highlight it for later reference" you said.

​as you reached across the table to grab a highlighter, your favorite pen rolled off the slick mahogany surface, clattering to the floor. "oh, sorry —"

​you both moved at once. you leaned down, reaching for the pen near the leg of his chair. just as you bent over, your oversized cardigan caught on the armrest of your seat, riding up your side.

​it only happened for a second.

​the fabric stayed caught, exposing the soft, pale curve of your waist. and there, stark and undeniable under the harsh library lights, was the small, elegant ink of a lily. the dark petals seemed to bloom right before his eyes, exactly where the ring light had caught them just nights ago.

jisung’s hand froze inches from the pen. his entire body went rigid, his breath hitching in a way that had nothing to do with the heavy air. he stared at the tattoo, the image of his "angel" screaming in the back of his mind. the way the ink sat on your skin, the specific, delicate curve of the petals — it was a perfect, terrifying match to the girl who had spit on a toy because he’d asked her to.

the academic silence was replaced by a sudden, deafening roar in his ears.

he didn't want to believe it.

he couldn't.

or maybe he had somehow dreamt of it.

but the evidence was etched into your skin.

slowly, he retracted his hand, his gaze traveling up from the lily to your face. his pupils were blown wide behind his glasses, his heart hammering against his ribs with a violence that made his chest ache.

"is... is something wrong, han ?" you whispered, noticing his sudden trance. you quickly pulled your cardigan back down, your face heating up as you realized you’d shown skin. "did you... find it ?"

jisung didn't move. he just looked at you, his mind a chaotic blur of library books and black lace, of silent study sessions and the sound of your whimpers through his headphones.

"that tattoo," he began, his voice dropping into that low, private register that made your stomach flip. "it’s a lily... isn't it ?"

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"that tattoo — it’s a lily... isn't it ?"

you snapped upright, sitting back into your chair as your heart hammered against your ribcage.

shit.

shit.

he wasn't meant to see it.

hell, nobody was.

you liked keeping some things to yourself and that tattoo was one of them. you had gotten it inked when you finally got selected for the university — years of hard work finally paying off. and mind it, you were thorough with your research in this case as well. you weren't the type to just pick something off a flash sheet on a whim. you had looked through various designs for weeks, but you gave more weight to their symbolism and meanings than the aesthetics alone. then, you had come across pink lilies. according to several websites — and more importantly, your neighbour's florist dad — they represent femininity, happiness and finally, compassion.

that's what you felt.

compassion.

towards yourself.

compassion towards yourself for working on your dreams, for always trying your best even when it was hard, for crying through some days but still getting back up stronger, for doing it whether you were happy or sad, for being you, forever. it was a permanent reminder of the girl who survived the pressure, the one who bloomed in the dark.

nobody in your life knew about the tattoo — not even your parents or your closest friends. neither did you give them any opportunity to, always clad in clothes showing little to no skin of your waist — not just to hide the ink, but also because you were more comfortable that way. you preferred the safety of oversized cardigans, baggy t shirts and high-waisted jeans, keeping your secrets tucked beneath layers. that's why you were so stunned when you realised that not only had he seen it, but he had managed to observe exactly which flower it was in the microsecond that it was visible.

how could he be that observant ? his eyes were supposed to be on the economic growth charts, not on the sliver of skin above your hip.

all of a sudden, you realised that your walk down memory lane had lasted quite a few minutes, leaving jisung's question unanswered while you stared blankly at your notebook.

you managed to stutter a response, "o-oh yes, i uh i love lilies. they’re... special to me."

jisung nodded in acknowledgement, turning his gaze back to the book in front of him. you heaved an internal sigh of relief to find him not questioning you and seemingly unbothered.

unbothered ?

han jisung ?

right now ?

unbothered when he had just discovered that the very person he had been pining after ever since he started university might just be the same as the angel on his screen he was obsessed with ? his mind was a whirlwind behind that calm masked expression. he could still see the way the petals of the lily curved against your waist and oh god — it was the exact same way they had shifted on his monitor when you had arched your back for him yesterday.

unbothered when he finally realised why the shy giggles through his headphones felt so familiar, having heard your melodious giggles in class, his ears craving the sound forever ? every time you had laughed at a professor's joke, he had felt a pull in his chest he couldn't explain. now he knew why. the girl he respected in the light was the same one who broke for him in the dark.

unbothered when it finally hit him that deep down, he was a goner, but only for you — in any way you wished ? he wasn't sure it was just a crush anymore. he was craving your presence, your voice, you. the revelation sat heavy in his chest, his heart hammering so hard he was sure you could hear it through the mahogany table.

he wasn't unbothered. he was barely holding himself back from closing his textbook and asking you exactly how messy you had gotten for him last night. his patience was hanging by a thread while he watched you working on the project, completely oblivious.

the two of you finished the study session in silence, the hours ticking by until you both finally headed home. you were sleeping peacefully, albeit after an hour of overthinking about him catching a glimpse of your tattoo and what it meant. however, jisung stayed up fighting for his life, trying to comprehend the reality of it all — was he going insane ? the girl of his dreams and the girl on his screen was the same all along, and he was officially a goner.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

another busy week at the university had finally come to an end, but it had left you feeling particularly hot and bothered. the cause being the increased proximity with the man of your dreams — the sheer number of hours you spent together working on the project. it did not help that your last meeting with him had ended with his eyes on your waist and no words on your lips.

finally the weekend rolled around and you found yourself setting up for your livestream. the camera was angled, the ring light in place, the rest of the room doused in moonlight entering through the windows. you leaned back, checking the frame one last time. today's outfit was the perfect balance of cozy and teasing.

the grey and white striped top looked deceptively casual, the long sleeves giving off a soft, homey vibe, but the fabric hugged your curves in a way that was anything but accidental. then there was the black mini skirt — short, bouncy, and the ruffles added a playful flare, sitting high on your hips.

but the real star of the show ? the thick white stockings.

they squeezed your thighs just right, creating that perfect soft dip in the skin where the fabric ended and your legs began. the extra thickness of the knit made them look plush and soft, a stark contrast against the dark ruffles of the skirt. they highlighted the soft curve of your legs, making them look pillowy and inviting, the kind of texture that begged for a lingering touch.

it was the kind of look that said you weren't trying too hard, yet every detail was designed to keep eyes glued to the screen. this outfit — a new one — was one of your favourites, and you would be lying if you said you weren't excited to see everybody's reactions.

everybody. right.

not just the one username that makes your eyes light up.

definitely not.

shaking your head to rid yourself of the thoughts, you clicked on the button and started the live stream with bated breath.

• moonlit_haze is live •

when the notification popped up on his screen, jisung was about to click it — call it instinct. but then his mind drifted to the newly acquired knowledge that the girl behind the screen was you. you never showed much skin; even the slight exposure in the library, when your cardigan had ridden up, had left you flustered. he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the view of you covered in a pink tint — you looked too adorable. however, his mind couldn't skim past the fact that you clearly valued your privacy — would his watching the stream make you uncomfortable ? was he betraying your trust in a way ?

jisung was still contemplating — his brain muddled with the dilemma when he gets another notification.

• moonlit_haze invites you to the livestream •

you had sent him a special invite —

were you wondering where he was ?

were you waiting for him ?

where you — dare he say — missing him ?

oh how could he say no to you.

jisung's fingers reacted before he could, reaching out to click and accept the invite. his screen changed and there you were — in all your glory.

• j.one_01 has accepted your invite •

finally.

you had noticed he was online, that tiny green dot flickering next to his name, yet he hadn't joined. usually, he was the first one there, but today he was just... lingering. you waited. one minute. two. you had dolled up specifically for him — every ruffle and every inch of those stockings was for his eyes only.

was he really not going to join ?

was he not going to give you the reaction you were so clearly craving ?

at last, the restlessness had won, and you ended up inviting him instead. in hindsight, did it come off as too desperate ? were you being too obvious ? well, that was a worry for later — because he was finally here.

"you're late, j.one. i was waiting to hear about what you thought of my outfit today."

the words left your lips with a playful tilt, your voice dropping into that soft, melodic tone you reserved just for the camera — and for him. you leaned back, letting the chair creak slightly as you adjusted your position, making sure the moonlight hit the ruffles of your skirt just right. you weren't even looking at the chat yet, but you could feel the weight of his presence the second his name appeared on the screen.

you were teasing him, and you knew it. the silence on his end only made you bolder — you wanted to hear him say it. you wanted to know if the view of your thighs in those thick white stockings was doing exactly what you intended it to do.

jisung groaned.

he could practically hear the pout in your voice.

oh he didn't want to make you sad — when had he ever intended that ?

and your outfit ?

oh he would give you a reaction alright.

j.one_01 ($100): i'm sorry angel, i had to get my glasses. also this outfit looks fucking ethereal on you — might just be my favourite.

his eyes were fixed on the screen, heart hammering against his ribs at the sight of you. he was staring. he couldn't help it. the top looked so soft against your waist and the skirt accentuated your beautiful curvy hips. but oh god —

the thighs.

the beautiful fucking thighs.

clad in the soft white knit, you literally looked like the definition of an angel, his nickname for you coming to life. the soft knit of your stockings dug into your plush skin, your soft thighs nearly spilling out of them. the way they squeezed your thighs was just enough to make his breath hitch. he had been trying to be good, trying to keep his distance, but one look at you and all those noble intentions were out the window. he was yours, and by the way you were looking into the lens, you knew it.

as you read his comment, your heart skipped.

oh, he wore glasses.

immediately, your thoughts traitorously drifted back to the library — to the man who sat beside you with those beautiful silver frames perched on the bridge of his nose. he had such a gorgeous face, eyes so deep and captivating — of course, they deserved to be framed like a piece of art.

one thought led to another, and suddenly, your mind was entirely consumed by han jisung.

it was the way he carried himself — that effortless blend of sharp intellect and genuine passion. he was the type of person who excelled at everything he touched, yet he remained grounded, his politeness and respect never wavering. he listened to you with a focus that made you feel like the only person in the room, his brilliance only matched by his humility.

and then there was his smile. those beautiful, plush lips curving just right, sending your heart racing a mile a minute.

and what to say about his body —

those biceps.

every ounce of your principles seemed to evaporate the moment you pictured them — you were ready to do anything just to be caged in his arms. then there were the pecs, the sharp line of his jaw, and those neck veins that stood out when he was concentrated — it was such a lethal combination. he was a masterpiece of a man, and the more you thought about him, the harder it was to remember you were supposed to be looking at a camera.

all of a sudden, your attention snapped back to the room — the glow of the ring light and the hum of the camera bringing you back to reality.

shaking off the image of jisung’s lips, you pretended nothing had happened. since the camera was angled strictly from the neck down, the chat couldn't see the crimson flush creeping up your face, but they could see the way your chest rose and fell with every uneven breath. you refocused on the screen, reading the flurry of incoming comments.

onlyforher_65 ($50): babe did you zone out —

sam75rover ($40): she's sighing so softly omg

softspot404 ($45): those are sighs of yearning, i can feel it

the chat was moving fast, a blur of texts and tips. they were picking up on every little sound, every hitched breath. you cleared your throat, trying to regain your composure, but it was hard to stay grounded when your mind was still half-lost in the library, tracing the lines of a man who was now watching you from the other side of a screen.

"sorry guys, i just... um... lost myself for a moment."

your voice was breathy, trembling slightly as it filtered through the mic. since they couldn't see your face, every tiny sound was magnified—every hitched breath, every soft swallow, every restless shift of your weight. the way the ruffles of your skirt rustled against your stockings was the only thing filling the silence.

the chat exploded.

gooninghard12 ($40): your voice is hitching T-T

dr3am3rb0y ($45): she's definitely blushing

kals.forlife ($40): do you have a crushhhhh ~

"hm maybe i do —"

the words were barely a whisper, a soft, shy giggle escaping your lips as you spoke them into the mic. you reached down, your fingers nervously tracing the hem of your black skirt, pulling at the ruffles as if that could ground you. but the damage was done.

the chat went absolutely feral, the text scrolling so fast it became a blur of white and neon. they couldn't see your eyes, but they could see the way you fidgeted. they saw your thighs press together, the white knit of your stockings straining against the movement. they heard the catch in your throat.

you were practically radiating a soft, nervous energy, your body language betraying the secret you hadn't even fully admitted to yourself. you were a mess — a pretty, ruffled, pink-tinted mess — and all because of a man who was staring at his screen right now, unknown to you, wondering who was that breathy confession for.

jisung didn't feel jealous.

or at least, he didn't think he did.

he had never really known the emotion — why would he ? he was a man who excelled at everything he touched, and if he ever lacked in a skill, he worked until he mastered it.

but this ? this burning sensation in his chest was something he couldn't just study and overcome.

the idea of you yearning for someone who wasn't him — someone who didn't see the way your eyes lit up in the library or how your cardigan slid off your shoulder — made him feel a way that was entirely illogical. it was a sharp, jagged heat that he couldn't handle. his grip tightened on his desk, his knuckles turning white as he watched the way your soft thighs pressed together on the screen.

who was he ? who was the one making you sigh like that ?

before he knew it, his hands flew over the keyboard, typing and pressing enter.

j.one_01 ($80): who is the person, angel ?

a flurry of comments appeared on the screen, a chaotic scroll of curiosity, but your eyes were instantly hooked onto his username. the bold text sat there like a demand, and you didn't know what to do with it. you forced your gaze to move away from his comment, heart thudding against your ribs as you tried to focus on the others.

onlyforher_65 ($50): WHO IS THE LUCKY GUY ?!

dr3am3rb0y ($45): tell us tell us TELL US PLS

kals.forlife ($40): I KNEW IT !

you smiled again, finding everyone’s enthusiasm amusing, to say the least. it was a heady feeling — being the center of all that frantic curiosity. besides, this was your safe space. no one here knew the girl behind the camera, the quiet student who spent her hours buried in books.

right ?

you felt a sudden, reckless surge of confidence. if you couldn't say it to his face in the library, you could at least whisper it to the shadows of the internet, might as well get it off your chest.

leaning closer to the mic, you let your fingers wander to the hem of your skirt, nervously twisting the fabric. the camera captured the way your thighs tensed, the white stockings stretching over your skin.

"well..." you started, your voice dropping into a low, confiding tone that sent the chat into another frenzy. "he's... he's my classmate in university and... he’s brilliant. the kind of person who makes you feel like you're learning something new just by being near him. and he has this way of looking at things — so focused, so intense, so... passionate."

you paused, biting your lip as the image of silver frames and plush lips flashed in your mind. "and he is kind... kind and gentle," you whispered, almost to yourself. "so gentle yet grounding, like being in his vicinity makes you feel... lighter."

across the screen, jisung felt the air leave his lungs. his grip on the desk loosened, his heart stuttering at the sheer tenderness in your tone. he had expected you to talk about someone flashy, someone loud — but the way you spoke of this man, with such soft reverence, made the burning in his chest shift into something deeper, something far more dangerous. he found himself wishing — with a desperation that terrified him — that he could be that man for you.

hell, he'd be anyone you wanted him to be.

your details warranted another inflow of comments, and you browsed through them with a gentle smile, mind already in a better headspace just thinking about him.

dr3am3rb0y ($45): HE SOUNDS JUST LIKE YOUR TYPE

gooninghard12 ($40): what does he look likeeee

softspot404 ($45): IS HE HOT BABE

you giggled, feeling giddy, the sound bubbling up from your chest. you shifted in your seat, the soft white knit of your stockings rubbing together with a quiet, shushing sound that the mic caught perfectly.

"is he hot ?" you repeated the question, your voice trailing off into a dreamy sigh. " is the moon pretty ? is the earth revolving ?" you let out a soft, airy breath, the sound vibrating through the mic. "he’s... gorgeous — too ethereal, i swear to god — but it’s more than that. he has this sharp jawline and the most beautiful eyes — the kind you can gladly drown into. his hands — christ — they're decorated with the most perfect veins and they... they look like they would be so careful, but also so soooooo strong."

you traced a finger over your own wrist, imagining his touch. "and when he wears his glasses... the silver frames just make him look so sophisticated yet all my brain can think about is jumping his bones. honestly he's so much more than a crush, he's just the man of my dreams."

behind his screen, jisung felt a jolt of electricity shoot down his spine. his hand instinctively went to the bridge of his nose, fingers brushing the cool, polished metal of his own glasses. his heart was hammering so loudly he could hear it in his ears, a frantic thudding that made his vision swim.

it was a coincidence.

it had to be.

silver frames were common.

and plenty of people were brilliant.

he was held captive by your voice, waiting for the next detail to either shatter his hope or change his life forever. desperate and reckless, he needed to know if the man of your dreams was the one currently losing his mind over the way you spoke of him as your soft thighs spilled out of those white stockings.

then, your words fell into his ears, and they made the very air leave his lungs. the rest of the world ceased to exist — the glow of his monitors, the hum of the room — it all faded into a blur as his mind replayed your whisper.

"and he has this perfect choco chip mole on his right cheek that just adds to all of his beauty."

his hand instinctively reached out, his fingertips ghosting over the small mark on his right cheek. a jolt of electricity, sharper than any before, surged through him.

was it really him ?

did you really mean all of that for him ?

despite these signs pointing towards him, he just needed a final final confirmation, the logic-driven part of his brain struggled to comprehend it.

the girl he has been pining over wants him back ?

the girl of his dreams wants him back ?

he needed a final, undeniable confirmation.

with his heart hammering a frantic rhythm against his ribs, he pulled his phone from the desk. his fingers — usually so steady — trembled slightly as he typed out a message. he asked you to meet in his dorm for the project next week instead of the library, claiming he was only free in the evening and the library would be closed by then.

it was a flimsy excuse, a test, a lure.

and then, in real time, he saw your phone screen light up on the stream the exact second he hit send.

you glanced down, and a soft, amused laugh escaping you — a sound so intimate it made his breath hitch. "the person we were just talking about... he literally just texted me right now," you murmured into the mic, your voice laced with a sweet, disbelieving giddiness.

jesus fucking christ.

it was him.

it felt like you were reaching through the screen and stripping him bare in front of thousands while he sat in the dark, frozen. the intellect he was so proud of, the iron-clad composure he worked so hard to maintain — it all evaporated in an instant. he wasn't just watching a confession — he was witnessing his own undoing. you weren't pining for a stranger — you were pining for him, and as the stream continued, han jisung was utterly unraveling at the weight of your words.

you leaned back in your chair, the soft ruffles of your skirt settling as you let out a long, shaky exhale. the thrill of the confession was still humming under your skin, but the weight of that text message was pulling you back to reality.

"okay, that’s enough heart-to-hearts for one night," you said, your voice returning to a more natural, though still slightly playful, tone.

you smoothed the white knit of your stockings one last time, a small smile tugging at your lips as you looked at the camera lens. "i’ve got a project to... prepare for. thanks for hanging out with me, everyone."

the chat flooded with "goodnights" and "good lucks," the screen a chaotic blur of support. you gave a small, shy wave before reaching out and clicking the button to disconnect.

the monitors dimmed, and the familiar silence of your room rushed back in. you sat there for a moment in the dark, the only light coming from your phone screen. you picked it up, your thumb hovering over jisung's message, replying with a "sounds good !" before finally heading to bed, unaware that on the other side of the screen, his world had just shifted forever.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

holy mother of god.

why was he coming this way ?

you were sitting in class awaiting the professor when you saw jisung enter the lecture hall. up until this point, everything was normal. however, he walked right past his usual seat and started walking in what was undeniably your direction. before your brain could fully process the shift, jisung was standing directly in front of you with that lovely smile, his silver frames on his head, used to hold his hair back today. god — even his forehead was sexy.

"hey ! i was wondering if i could sit here ?"

his voice was a low hum that vibrated through the wooden desk and into your bones. you blinked, your heart performing a frantic tap-dance against your ribs. you had already met up with him several times to work on this project, but it had always been in the controlled environment of the library. there, the sessions were a maximum of two hours, and the silence was your shield.

the lectures, however, lasted for around four hours. the worst part was that you couldn't stay entirely engrossed in your notebook like you did during study sessions. you had to look up, understand the professor, and interact, and you were silently praying to god to keep your sanity intact while he sat right next to you for the entire duration.

"uh — yeah. yeah, sure," you managed to stammer, desperately hoping your voice didn't crack.

as he slid into the seat next to yours, the heat radiating from his shoulder felt like a physical blow. you stared straight ahead, but how could you evade the piece of art sitting right beside you, catching your attention from your peripheral vision.

"thanks," he murmured, leaning in as his broad shoulder brushed against yours.

unbeknownst to you, jisung was just trying to be more friendly, hoping to become friends and maybe gradually ask you out. up until now, he had always maintained a respectful boundary, careful not to intrude on your space or make you uncomfortable.

he had mistaken your shy silence for a need for professional distance, so he kept his interactions strictly about the project, never daring to push past that invisible wall. he had no idea that every time he backed off to give you room, your heart was actually screaming for him to come closer.

the four hours of the lecture were a slow-burn torture for you. it was a constant battle for survival — every time he shifted in the cramped seat, the heat of his shoulder against yours made your patience thinner and your resolve crumble. you spent the entire time staring at the chalkboard, but your mind was stuck on the physical heat of his presence, counting down the minutes until you could finally breathe again.

for jisung, the experience was even worse.

even though you were wearing baggy jeans, the proximity was lethal. every time his leg brushed against yours, he could feel the radiating warmth of your thigh through the denim, making his throat go dry as his mind wandered to the softness hidden beneath the fabric. he had to grip his pen with white-knuckled intensity just to stay focused on the professor while being so agonizingly close to you.

by the time the professor dismissed the class, you both packed up in a blur of polite smiles and lingering glances. the day bled into evening, the anticipation of the meeting hanging over you.

as the sun finally dipped below the horizon, your phone buzzed on your desk, the screen illuminating the dark room.

jisung [5:55 pm]: hey, my dorm is in building b. room 312.

jisung [5:56 pm]: see you soon.

replying with an "okay!", you started getting ready to leave for his dorm. the gears in your brain were already turning at the idea of being in his personal space. you didn't want to pass up this opportunity just because you were too shy to make a move — you needed to try, for your own sake.

he had practically sat beside you the entire day and talked so sweetly, with the softest of touches. you couldn't help but want to dress up for him, moving away from your regular soft, baggy clothes.

you walked over to your wardrobe, and right in front of you was the outfit you had worn for the last live stream: the grey top, the black skirt, and finally, the soft white knit stockings.

wouldn't it be particularly romantic to wear the same outfit you had on when you confessed your crush, even if it hadn't been directly to him ?

plus, it was just going to be him.

he had already mentioned asking his roommate to leave so you could both study in peace, likely sensing you were shy and would be apprehensive around new people. mustering every bit of courage you had left, you finally decided on the outfit, letting the romantic irony of the choice settle the butterflies in your stomach.

you put on your outfit, styling your hair in a half-up, half-down look with a claw clip. after grabbing your tote bag, you realized the outfit was a bit too risky for a solo walk, so you decided to take a taxi.

upon reaching the building, you took the lift up to the third floor and moved towards apartment 312. you could hear the muffled sounds of guys laughing inside — presumably they were his roommates or friends — before you finally rang the bell. you checked your phone — 6:15 pm. you were exactly on time.

good gracious —

jisung opened the door, and if you thought he looked handsome in class, he looked perfectly delectable right now. he was clad in a soft grey long-sleeved t-shirt and black baggy sweatpants, his hair slightly ruffled and those silver frames in their designated place on the bridge of his nose. you could practically feel the saliva pooling in your mouth.

was that an angel ?

was that his angel ?

this was the only thing running through jisung's mind the second his eyes landed on you. you were wearing the exact same outfit from your last livestream, and he felt like he was about to have a stroke. the screen and camera did no justice to the way your curves were enhanced by that skirt.

and then, the absolute cause of his demise.

those thighs.

they were clad in the soft white knit stockings, with a sliver of honeyed skin visible where the fabric ended. he had to physically dig his nails into his palms to keep from reaching out to touch the soft curve of your waist or those plush thighs pressing together.

"hey, you're here," he managed to say, though his voice sounded raspier than usual.

you whispered a "hey" as jisung ushered you inside, his hand reaching out to instinctively take your tote bag from your shoulder. he murmured something about his friends just heading out, but your heart was already beating too fast for you to fully process his words.

as you stepped into the warmth of the dorm, you offered a shy greeting to the two guys standing in the common area. they were already grabbing their jackets, their eyes flickering between you and jisung with poorly hidden amusement. they didn't linger — after a few quick nods and greetings in your direction, they moved toward the hallway.

just as they reached the threshold, one of them tossed a wave back over his shoulder.

"bye j.one, see you tomorrow."

the door clicked shut, the lock engaging with a heavy thud that seemed to echo through the sudden silence of the room.

the air in the small apartment shifted instantly. you stood frozen, the name echoing in your mind like a physical blow.

han jisung.

j.one.

'j' for jisung and... han is 'one' in korean.

j.one.

your brain scrambled to put the pieces together.

the username of the man who had dominated your chat, the one who had dropped a thousand dollars just to hear you speak his name. you slowly turned to look at him, your pulse skyrocketing.

it wasn't a coincidence. it was him.

the man of your dreams was standing right in front of you, and he had heard every single word of your confession.

"you're... you're j.one" you breathed out, the words barely a whisper as you took in the sight of him.

jisung stood there, still holding your bag, his posture stiffening as the silence stretched between you. he knew the mask had slipped the moment his friend used that name.

as your mind processed the influx of information, it finally dawned upon you. "that's why you — you were shocked when you saw the... the tattoo" you breathed, the reality of it settling heavily in the room.

he didn't try to deny it. instead, his grip tightened slightly on the straps of your bag, and he let out a slow, shaky breath.

"that was the day i found out — and i... i couldn't believe the girl of my dreams..." he murmured, his words trailing off as eyes searched yours with a mix of anxiety and hope.

wait.

wait.

what ?

"t-the girl of your d-dreams ?" you muttered, as you repeated the words that fell from his lips, sounding foreign to your own ears.

the confession sent your world spinning. all this time, you had been harboring a crush on the quiet, handsome boy in your lectures, never imagining that the mysterious "j.one" who supported your streams was the very same person. but it was even more than that — he had been falling for you in both worlds simultaneously.

"i've liked you since the first day of the semester," jisung admitted, his voice dropping to that low, vibrating register. "long before I ever found your channel. and then, when I saw you on my screen and saw the same tattoo... i realized the girl i was falling for in class was the same girl i was losing my mind over online. i was terrified that if i told you all of a sudden, it would ruin everything we were building in person."

he took a tentative step closer, the soft light of the dorm room catching the silver of his frames as his gaze dropped to your outfit — the very one from your confession.

"i've been watching your streams since you started," he confessed, his voice dropping to that low, vibrating register. "at first, I couldn't believe it. I’d spend my days sitting behind you in lecture, memorizing the way you'd tuck your hair behind your ear, and then I’d go home and see you on my screen. I felt like I was living two different lives, and in both of them, I was completely falling for you."

you stood there, your brain finally connecting the dots — the way j.one always knew exactly what to say to calm your nerves, make you feel more comfortable, make you feel at home.

it wasn't just luck. it was really him.

you buried your face in your palms, blood rushing to your cheeks until they feel like they might actually catch fire. the heat was so intense it was nearly crimson, staining your skin under the soft light of his room.

"oh god — jisung, i've been losing my mind over you for months," you muttered into your hands, the words muffled and thick with the kind of raw embarrassment that made you want to melt into the floor. "i was literally swooning over you on a livestream because i thought you wouldn't notice me. and all this time... it was you ? you were right there ?"

the silence that followed was heavy, but not uncomfortable. it was the kind of silence that happens right before a storm breaks.

jisung let out a soft, breathy laugh — a sound that was part relief and part pure, unadulterated longing. he set your tote bag down on the entryway table with a clinical sort of care, his movements slow and deliberate. when he stepped toward you, you could feel the shift in the air, the way his presence suddenly loomed larger, warmer, and much more real than a username on a screen.

"look at me," he whispered, his voice a low, honeyed command that vibrated right in the center of your chest.

you shook your head frantically behind your fingers, your heart performing a violent rhythm against your ribs.

but jisung wasn't having it.

he reached out, his fingers gently encircling your wrists. his touch was firm but incredibly soft, the warmth of his skin sending a jolt through you that made your breath hitch. slowly, he pulled your hands away from your face, forcing you to meet his gaze.

up close, behind the silver frames of the glasses, his eyes were dark, searching yours with a desperate kind of intensity.

oh he could look at you for eternity.

you were so ethereal, he was awestruck.

"you have no idea," he murmured, his thumb grazing the pulse point on your wrist. "you think you were the only one going crazy ? i sat next to you for four hours today trying to breathe normally while your leg was inches away from mine. i've been sitting in that library staring at you, wondering how someone could be so perfect."

jisung leaned in just a fraction, his scent — that intoxicating mix of clean laundry, slight musk and something uniquely him — clouding your senses.

"i don't just want the girl on the screen," he whispered, his gaze dropping to your lips for a fraction of a second before snapping back to your eyes. "i want the girl who aces everything quietly. the girl who bites her lip when she’s thinking. the girl who's smile makes the world seem brighter, warmer. i want you."

a blooming sensation emerged in your chest, as if your heart was growing too big for your ribs, trying to burst at the seams from the sheer weight of the affection he was showing you. for the first time, the jisung you adored and the j.one you craved were the same person, and he was standing right in your space, looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered.

"i want you too, jisung. so badly that every thought exits my brain the second i look at you. even a text or a comment from you makes my knees buckle. every time you smiled at me in class, the world felt brighter, and i couldn't help but want you more and more," you whispered, the words pouring out of you now that the dam had finally broken.

the intensity in his eyes deepened, his grip on your wrists softening as his hands slid up to rest on your waist. the heat from his palms seeped through the fabric of your grey top, grounding you even as your head spun.

"you have no idea how long i've waited to hear you say that," he murmured, his voice dropping an octave, becoming that low, husky tone that usually only existed in your dreams of him over you.

jisung took another half-step closer, the distance between you now completely non-existent. you could feel the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, see the way his pulse was jumping in his neck, mirroring your own. his gaze moved slowly over your face, taking in your flushed cheeks and the way you were looking at him with wide, star-struck eyes.

"i sat through that four-hour lecture today thinking i was going to lose it if i didn't touch you," he whispered, his hand moving from your waist to cup the side of your face, his thumb grazing your bottom lip. "and seeing you in this outfit... the same one from the stream... it’s like you’re trying to kill me on purpose."

jisung leaned down, his forehead resting against yours. "can i ?" he breathed, his lips hovering just a breath away from yours, giving you every chance to back away even though he knew— and you knew — that there was nowhere else you would rather be.

a single nod of your head was all the permission he needed. jisung closed the final inch of distance between you, his hands sliding firmly onto your waist to pull you flush against him. you instinctively reached out, your fingers bunching the soft fabric of his grey shirt at his shoulders to ground yourself as the world seemed to tilt on its axis.

as jisung’s soft lips met yours, a small gasp escaped you — a tiny sound of surprise and sweet relief of finally having his lips on yours — and he swallowed it right away, muffling the sound with the heat of the kiss.

soft. he was so incredibly soft.

and it wasn't just his lips — he was soft in every mannerism. it was the way his fingers splayed across the small of your back, holding you close without crushing you. it was the way his lips caressed yours with a slow, rhythmic patience, and the way he looked at you in the brief moments he pulled back to breathe — like you were someone precious he wanted to take his sweet, sweet time cherishing.

the kiss deepened naturally, his tongue grazing your lower lip in a silent question that made your toes curl inside your white knit stockings. you leaned into him, your heart hammering against his chest.

jisung could feel his dreams finally coming to life as your lips touched his, your shared breath filling his lungs. you were the epitome of sweetness, all soft and flustered in his arms — how could he not adore you ? he had spent so many nights wondering if the girl on his screen would ever feel this real, and now that he had you in his grip, he was never letting go.

you both moved in tandem, your lips glistening with shared saliva in the dim light of the dorm. you softly traced jisung's lower lip with your own before suckling on it, a move so bold it pulled a low, guttural groan from deep in his throat. the sound vibrated through both of your chests, making your knees feel like they were made of water.

"j-jisung..." you mumbled against his mouth, your voice thick and syrupy, "i — i can't believe it's actually you."

"it's me, baby — it has always been me," he whispered back, his voice a low, honeyed rasp.

as he pulled you closer, his hands sliding down to the dip of your back to press you firmly against him, your breasts smushed against his chest. the friction of your bodies meeting — the softness of your curves against the solid planes of his torso — was almost too much for him to handle.

jisung didn't think heaven existed, but if it did, it was probably this.

his kisses became slower, more intentional, as he began to trail them down from your lips to your jawline. you let out a shaky, hitched breath when you felt his nose brush against the sensitive skin of your neck, his silver frames cold against your heated skin.

"j-jisung... ah —" you gasped, your head rolling back to give him better access. you arched into him, your chest pressing even firmer against his as a small, broken moan slipped from your lips.

the sound seemed to undo him.

he let out a low, needy sound, his lips moving from soft grazes to deep, lingering presses against the column of your throat.

"you... you're so beautiful," he mumbled against your skin, his hot breath making your knees buckle. his hands, which had been resting gently on your waist, suddenly tightened, his fingers digging slightly into the soft fabric of your skirt as he pulled you even closer, if that was even possible.

you felt the shift in his energy — the sweetness was still there, but it was being overtaken by a desperate, hungry heat. his teeth grazed the junction where your neck met your shoulder, and you felt a jolt of pure electricity shoot down to your toes, making you whimper his name.

"jisung... please," you whispered, your fingers tangling desperately in his soft hair.

he pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and blown out, his breathing coming in ragged, shallow bursts. "the... the bedroom ?" he managed to choke out, his voice cracking with a mix of shyness and intense desire.

you didn't even have to answer. you just kept your hands locked behind his neck as he began to lead you backward, neither of you willing to break the physical connection for even a second.

his lips found yours again, deeper and more demanding this time, as you both stumbled toward the half-open door of his room, the air between you thick with the promise of everything you'd both been dreaming of since the very first lecture.

once you hit the mattress, jisung broke off the kiss to find you looking up at him with wide, blown-out eyes. your lips were swollen from his touch, and your breath was coming in short, ragged breaks. his heart absolutely swooned at the sight — you were so vulnerable, so beautiful, and so his.

"can i... can i get them off, angel ?" he whispered, his voice cracking with a mix of shyness and a heat that made your skin tingle. his fingers were already hovering at the hem of your top, his knuckles grazing the skin of your stomach.

holy fuck

he literally called you "angel." it was the nickname that always appeared in your stream comments, but hearing it fall from his lips in that low, husky rasp made your heart leap into your throat.

you whispered a small, breathless "yes" as he carefully tugged the grey fabric over your head and slid your skirt down. you reached up and pulled out your claw clip, letting your hair spill over your shoulders in messy waves.

jisung had seen beauty before.

hell, he had seen you during all those long streams.

but nothing could have prepared him for how you would look right now, laying on his mattress in a black lace bra and matching panties, with those soft white knit stockings still hugging your legs.

you laid there like a literal angel — with your hair framing your face, he could almost swear he saw a halo around you. your soft curves existed in their full glory — the gentle slope of your tummy, your gorgeous hip dips, and his absolute favorite — those plush thighs practically spilling onto the mattress, looking so soft he felt an ache in his chest just looking at them.

are you even real ?

his eyes met yours again, and he looked almost dazed, his silver frames sliding slightly down his nose as he hovered over you. "you're... god, you're so perfect," he mumbled, his hand reaching out to trace the curve of your waist. "i-i don't even know where to start."

you bit your lip, your heart hammering against your ribs so hard it felt like it might bruise. seeing him hovering over you, still fully dressed in his soft t-shirt while you were laid out like an offering, made a wave of shy daring wash over you.

"j-jisung..." you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your shared, heavy breathing. you reached out, your fingers trembling as they hooked into the hem of his grey shirt. "can you... can you take these off, too ? i want to... i want to feel you."

the request seemed to short-circuit his brain for a second. his eyes went even darker, the pupils blown until only a thin rim of chocolate brown remained. "you — you want...?" he started, his voice cracking mid-sentence. he let out a shaky, half-breath of a laugh, his face turning a deep, endearing red. "yeah. okay. yeah."

he sat back on his heels, his movements a bit clumsy from the sheer adrenaline and nerves. you watched, mesmerized, as he crossed his arms and pulled the shirt over his head in one fluid motion.

oh. fuck.

you knew he was built, having observed him for an unhealthy amount of time, but seeing him with no barrier — it just hit different. his shoulders were broad, his skin a soft golden and glowing under the dim bedroom light, and the way his muscles rippled with every movement made your throat go dry.

he wasn't overly bulky, but he was lean and toned in all the right places — the kind of build that looked like it was made for holding someone close. he made quick work of his sweatpants, and as he moved back toward you, you couldn't help but stare at the way his chest rose and fell in ragged intervals.

he looked so handsome, so raw, and so incredibly flustered. when he crawled back over you, the heat radiating from his bare skin was intoxicating.

"is this... okay?" he mumbled, his arms bracing on either side of your head. he looked down at you, his silver frames sliding down his nose again, and the sight of his bare chest hovering just inches above your lace-covered breasts made your head swim.

"more than okay," you breathed, arching into him.

"you're so soft, angel," he groaned against your skin, his hands finally finding your plush thighs, his palms hot against the knit fabric of your stockings. "i feel like i'm dreaming... i never want to wake up."

he started to trail kisses along your collarbone, his touch becoming more confident as he felt you arch up to meet him, the friction of your bodies sending sparks through the quiet room. his hand slid higher, his thumb grazing the edge of your lace panties, and the sweetness of the moment began to sharpen into a deep, desperate hunger.

with a soft nod of permission from you, the lace was soon joined by the rest of your clothes on the floor, though he hummed a low, possessive sound when your hands went for your legs.

"no... keep the stockings on," he murmured, his voice thick and honey-dark. "you look too perfect in them."

he crawled between your legs, his knees gently spreading your plush thighs. he let out a low, ragged groan at the sight of you, his own heat pulsing with every passing second. to him, you were a masterpiece — the sweetest angel with the sweetest pussy ever, all soft and puffy, practically luring him in with your scent.

his hands slid underneath your thighs, his palms hot against the knit fabric of your stockings as he lifted you slightly, his gaze fixed on you with a hunger that felt almost reverent.

"angel," he breathed, his voice dropping into that deep, vibrating register that made your soul tremble. he leaned in close, his hot breath fanning against your sensitive skin. "i want you to sit on my face. can you do that for me ?"

the request was so bold, so raw, that it sent a shock of heat straight to your core. you looked down at him — jisung, with his messy hair and his face flushed a deep, beautiful crimson — and you realized he wasn't just asking. he was pleading. he wanted to worship you, to taste every bit of the girl who had dominated his thoughts for months.

"p-please," he mumbled against your inner thigh, his lips grazing the skin just above your stockings. "been dreaming about this for months. i want to taste how much you want me."

you felt the blood rush to your face, your heart performing a frantic tap-dance against your ribs. han jisung wanted your cunt on his face — who were you to say no ?

you gave a small, shaky nod, and the way his eyes lit up was enough to make your knees go weak all over again. as he laid down on the bed, you moved slowly, your face turning a deep crimson as you moved, your plush thighs framing his face as your hands reached out for the headboard.

as you moved to straddle him, jisung’s hand reached up, his fingers hooking around the silver bridge of his glasses to set them aside. "wait —" you whispered, your hand gently catching his wrist. you looked down at him, your voice small and shy. "c-can you leave them on ? i... i really love how you look in them, sungie."

jisung froze, his breath hitching as a deep, flustered red bloomed across his cheeks and chest. "y-you do ?" he mumbled, his eyes searching yours through the lenses, looking completely floored that you found his 'nerdy' frames attractive. a small, doted-on smile tugged at his lips as he dropped his hand back to your waist. "okay, angel. anything you want. i'll keep them on just for you."

as you lowered yourself, your core brushing against his lips, a broken sound escaped your throat. "is... is this okay ? tell me if i'm too heavy." you mumbled, so shy you couldn't even meet his eyes.

"more than okay — and angel, i deadlift nearly triple your weight — you're not fucking heavy, baby," he rasped, his hands coming up to grip your hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin to steady you. "you're so... god, you're so pretty. you're perfect."

he didn't wait another second as he dived into the sweet treat hovering over him. when his tongue finally made contact, you let out a high, sharp gasp, your back arching as you clutched at his shoulders.

"jisung — ah fuck — j-ji..."

"shh, just take it, angel," he mumbled against you, his voice muffled but dripping with affection. "i've got you. i've finally got you right where i want you."

jisung practically devoured you, his tongue parting your folds to flick at your swollen pearl with a starving, desperate energy. he switched between long, dragging licks and sharp, needy suction, his head tilting to find the perfect angle as you bucked helplessly against him. his hands stayed busy, molding the soft flesh of your plush thighs and squeezing your hips to keep you pressed firmly to his face — his favorite view in the world.

he was relentless. his tongue suddenly darted deeper, sliding into your tight, wet hole with a rhythmic thrust that made your eyes roll back into your head. he let out a low, guttural groan right into your cunt, the deep vibration buzzing through your core and making your walls twitch and spasm around his tongue.

jisung’s silver-framed glasses were completely fogged over now, the lenses clouded from the rising heat of your bodies and his own frantic, shallow breathing. a few stray droplets of your juices had splattered onto the lenses, but he didn't even care; he was too far gone, his tongue darting back into your hole with a pulsing thrust that had you crying out his name.

"j-ji — i-i can't — nnnnngh — i'm g-gonna —" you sobbed out, your fingers digging desperately into his scalp, but he only gripped your thighs harder. his thumbs pressed deep into your soft, yielding skin to hold you in place, refusing to let you pull away from the worship you deserved.

"give it all to me, angel. let me see you break for me," he rasped, pulling back for a split second, his lips glistening and his eyes glazed with pure, unadulterated hunger.

he dived back in, his tongue swirling deep inside you before snapping back up to flick your pearl with a sharp, insistent friction.

the combination was too much, in the best way possible.

you felt the coil inside you snap, your body jolting as a wave of white-hot heat crashed over you. you arched your back high off the mattress, a sharp moan leaving your lips as you suddenly squirted, the hot spray hitting his face and further drenching his fogged-up glasses.

jesus fucking christ —

you literally squirted on his face.

life had never been better — never fucking ever.

jisung didn't pull away for even a heartbeat. he leaned into your dripping cunt, humming a deep, satisfied sound as he drank you in, his tongue catching every drop of your release as you shuddered and sobbed against him. he held you through the entire thing, his hands still molding your thighs and his face buried in your sweetness, proving that he really did want every single part of his angel.

his attention finally wavered when he heard you whimpering, your words falling in his ear making his head spin —

"wan — hic — wan your cock, sungie — mmmh please..."

jisung froze, your broken, hitching voice slicing right through the haze of his desire. hearing his name tangled with such a raw, desperate plea made his head spin faster than any high he’d ever felt. he pulled back just enough to look at you, his face flushed a deep, beautiful red as he took in your state — eyes glazed, hair a mess on his pillows, and your body still trembling from the way he’d just worshipped you.

"you... you want — ?" he started, his voice cracking mid-sentence. he let out a shaky, half-breath of a laugh, the shy boy in him momentarily stunned by your directness, but the heat in his gut quickly burned the hesitation away.

jisung moved with a new, frantic energy, his hands sliding from your thighs to your waist as he repositioned himself over you. his bare chest brushed against yours, the friction sending a new jolt of electricity through both of you. he looked down at you, his gaze intense even without his glasses, his pupils so blown they nearly swallowed the brown of his irises.

"god, i've been wanting to hear you say that since the moment we walked in here," he rasped, his forehead dropping against yours for a second as he tried to steady his breathing. "i want you so bad, angel."

he reached down and rolled a condom onto his dick, his fingers trembling slightly as he guided himself to your entrance. his knuckles turned white as he gripped your plush thighs, holding them wide so he could see every bit of where you met. he didn't just slam into you; instead, he guided the head of his cock to your entrance, his breath hitching as he felt how slick and ready you were for him.

"look at me, baby," he rasped, his voice trembling with the effort of holding back. "i'm going to go slow. i want you to feel every single bit of this."

jisung pushed forward just an inch, his eyes locked onto yours as your breath hitched. you felt the broad head of him stretching you open, the sensation so intense it made your toes curl.

"o-oh god... sungie..."

"you're so tight, angel," he groaned, his forehead dropping against yours as he pushed another inch deeper. "fuck, i can't believe how perfectly you're taking me."

jisung let out a sharp, jagged breath, his head dropping into the crook of your neck as he felt your walls frantically trying to accommodate him. the way you were falling apart, your voice breaking into those small, needy hiccups, was making his own self-control slip through his fingers.

"god... you're so tight," he groaned against your skin, the sound muffled and raw. he stayed still for a heartbeat, his hips pinned heavily against yours as he felt you pulse around him. "just... give me a second, angel. you’re wrapping around me so perfectly."

he started to move then, not with long strokes, but with slow, shallow grinds that forced you to feel every bit of his girth.

"mmmph... please... m-more," you whined, your hands sliding down his back to pull him closer, desperate for the friction. "too — hic — big... 's so big, sungie..."

jisung’s eyes snapped open, dark and glazed with a mix of pride and pure hunger. "i know," he rasped, a small, breathless smile tugging at his lips despite the sweat dripping down his temple. "i know it's a lot, baby. but you're taking it so well. look at you..."

he pulled back, almost all the way out, before sliding back in with a wet, heavy thud that knocked the air right out of your lungs.

"hngh !" your back arched off the mattress, your fingers curling into the sheets. "feels s'good... 'm so full —"

"yeah ? you feel that ?" he grunted, his pace picking up just a fraction, the rhythm becoming more insistent. "such a sweet girl and suuuuuch a sweet pussy... god, you're so wet for me."

he stopped midway through a thrust, his muscles locking up as you squeezed him particularly hard. he let out a choked moan, his eyes fluttering shut as he fought the urge to finish right then and there. he leaned down, capturing your lips in a messy, tongue-heavy kiss to swallow your whimpers, his hips starting to roll in a way that hit that one spot deep inside, over and over again.

the friction of his rolling hips was too much, the sensation of him grinding against your deepest point sending sparks through your entire nervous system. your legs, still draped over his broad shoulders, shook uncontrollably as you felt the familiar coil in your gut tighten into a knot.

"jisung — wait, i'm —" you gasped, your nails digging into the skin of his back.

"i've got you," he panted, his voice dropping into a low, gravelly rumble. he didn't slow down — instead, he drove in deeper, his pace turning frantic and raw. "come for me, angel. right now."

with one final, bone-deep thrust, you shattered. your internal walls clamped down on him in a series of violent, rhythmic pulses that sent him over the edge instantly. jisung let out a loud, broken cry against your neck, his body stiffening as he came, his weight collapsing onto you as you both drifted back down to earth, hearts hammering against each other in the quiet room.

the heavy silence of the room was broken only by the sound of your synchronized breathing and the occasional rustle of the sheets as the adrenaline began to fade. jisung stayed buried in you for a long moment, his forehead pressed against yours, before he slowly, reluctantly slid out.

"stay right here," he whispered, his voice still a bit scratchy. "don't move an inch."

he disappeared into the bathroom, returning a minute later with a warm, damp towel. he climbed back onto the bed, his movements soft and careful as he began to clean you up. he was incredibly thorough, his touch tender as he wiped away the evidence of how much he’d just worshipped you. he kissed your plush thighs, lingering over the faint red marks his fingers had left behind.

"you okay ? i didn't go too hard, did i ?" he asked, looking up at you through his glasses with those soft, worried eyes. when you shook your head and reached for him, he let out a relieved breath.

he padded over to his dresser and pulled out his favorite oversized grey hoodie and a pair of his softest boxers. he helped you sit up, gently guiding your arms through the sleeves. the hoodie was huge on you, the hem reaching mid-thigh, and the sleeves swallowing your hands. he chuckled softly, tugging the hood over your messy hair before pulling the boxers up your legs.

"there," he murmured, tucking you back under the duvet and climbing in beside you. "much better. you look so good in my clothes, angel."

he let you settle against his chest, his arms wrapping around you securely. he stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding you, until he suddenly remembered something. he gently disentangled himself, whispering another "be right back" before slipping out of the room.

when he returned, he was hiding something behind his back, a nervous, dorky grin playing on his lips.

"i... uh... i had these hidden in a vase in the hall closet," he mumbled, stepping closer to the bed. he revealed a beautiful, fragrant bouquet of pink lilies.

"i wanted the timing to be perfect, but honestly ? after tonight ? i couldn't wait another second."

he sat on the edge of the mattress, handing you the flowers with a hand that was still slightly trembling. his silver glasses were a bit crooked, reflecting the soft light of the room.

"i love you, angel. so... will you be my girlfriend ?," he said, his eyes searching yours with a raw, terrifying sincerity.

you didn't even need to speak — the way you pulled him back into the blankets. burying your face in the lilies and then his chest, you mumbled a yes and it told him everything he needed to know.

"yeah," he breathed, his chin resting on top of your head as he squeezed you tight. "my girl."

kysa's note: this is a compiled repost of my fav fic i've ever written plus i NEED to spread the nerdsung agenda with bucket full of yearning and nicknames so here this is :) lemme know your thoughts in the comments below, ༝༚༝༚

@binniebb @joyracha @b4echo @lynnslibrary @zosauce @pineapple-in-a-burgah @starlostjisung @hanjinology @hyunniexmixx @bi-and-panicking @spiidergirlsworld @jiaaabbahng @avchannie @cchapssaltteok @unemployedcarat @hannavkk @selfproclaimedpabo @hyunjinxxs @babythisisourcinema @moch3rii @quokkahansung @persassyismysecrettwin @0felixsfreckles0 @mxmx09 @foxiebread @embobema @iownachihuahua @mylovchris @rockstarkkami @pinkyrec @pbynsstuff @gloomydietitian @leeshoeknows @mysticetti @fweakygyatt @rylea08 @mikashisus @matzduo @barbie-girl84 @soldantae @hannibugz @sssoulesss @stryscribbles @minniebitesfr @channlust @hyvnesangel @hanjisdoll @warped-rabbithole @viisstrayy @myen2rude

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