The Bangtan Boys Give Us Life!!!

Your head felt like a balloon with too much air or a rubber band that’d been wound too tightly for days with no relief. You tossed and turned in your bed, desperately trying to relieve the dull ache that ran through every fiber of every muscle in your body. Your face was pale and gaunt, your hands clammy, and your eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. All you wanted to do was sleep until either this flu went away, or you felt the sweet release of death, whichever came first.

For the past few days, one of your neighbors, whom you’d grown close to over the years, had been stopping by a few times a day to check up on you and help you with anything you needed, and honestly, that tended to be a lot. Everything was an ordeal. Even small things like getting out of bed long enough to get in the shower or standing up to make tea seemed like running a gauntlet. Light hurt your eyes, the tiniest sound made your head pound, and moving was almost out of the question. If it wasn’t for your neighbor, you probably wouldn’t have even eaten anything.

You groaned in pain as your phone rang on your bedside table, sending sharp pains shooting through your head. You groaned, rolling over and grabbing your phone, answering without even looking at the screen to avoid the light. “Hello..?”

“Y\N!” the voice yelled. You winced and held the phone further from your head as he continued. “Where are you?”

“What..? I’m at home, where else would I be?”

You could already picture him pouting. “Did you forget what day it is?”

Suddenly everything rushed back to you. It was “date night.” Every Thursday, you and your best friend, Jin, found a new food place to try, then went back to the dorm to decide who had found the worse movie that week. This was the first “date night” you’d missed other than with the exception of when Jin was on tour.

“Shit you’re right.. I don’t think I’m gonna make it this time, I haven’t left my bed in four days-”

“Hold on, what?? What’s wrong? Do you need me to come over? WHO HURT YOU?”

“Jin STOP yelling it makes my head hurt! No one hurt me, I’m just sick. I’m pretty sure it’s that weird bug that’s been going around and I-”

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

You looked down at you phone to see the call had ended, thinking maybe the call had dropped. You rolled your eyes and put your phone back on the nightstand before covering your face with your blankets again. You did feel a bit bad about missing date night, but there are some things that are just out of your control.

You felt the bed next to you sink as your neighbor sat down to check your temperature again and refill your water.

“101 y/n.. You know, you’re not going to get any better if you stay under these blankets with a fever like this.” He sighed, pulling the blankets off your body and tossing them across the room, knowing you didn’t have the energy to go get them.

“But Oppa it’s so cold I’ll freeze without them!” You whined, wincing as you felt the warmth leaving your body already.

“Good. That means all that extra body heat is getting out and your fever will come down. No blankets. If you’re cold I’ll go to the store and get more tea, but you’re not getting those blankets back!”

You groaned and rolled away from him. “Fine. But if you’re going to the store, make sure you get-”

“Decaf Earl Grey with the honey you like and peppermint sticks to stir it. I know. Get some rest, I’ll be back in a little while.” He stood from the bed and walked towards the front door of your apartment. You heard the door open and slowly tried moving towards the edge of the bed. “And no blankets!” He yelled back, just before the door clicked shut. Defeated, you slumped back to your spot on the bed and curled into a ball, desperately trying to warm yourself as you drifted back to sleep.

You were awakened not long after by the sound of the front door opening and bags being placed on the kitchen counter. You slowly forced yourself upright, sending your head pounding again. “Did you get the-”

“Shut up I got everything who do you think you’re dealing with here?”

Your eyes shot open and you rubbed your head. “Jin? What are you doing here?”

Jin plopped himself down on the bed next to you and gently pushed your shoulders so you were horizontal again. “What do you mean why am I here? You miss date night because you’re in bed sick and you really think I’m not gonna come take care of you? I’m hurt.”

“Jin, you really didn’t have to come, I have everything handled, really.” You groaned, rubbing your eyes. “I’m sorry I missed date night, but you really didn’t have to come all the way over here just for me.”

Jin lightly smacked the back of your head. “You really think that of all people, I’d leave you here when you’re so sick to fend for yourself? I don’t think so. You like to seem like you have everything handled all the time, but we both know you have no idea what you’re doing most of the time, y/n.” He said, brushing your hair out of your face and handing you a shot of foul-smelling cough syrup. “Drink that. I’m gonna go make some soup and put some-”

“Tea’s here!”

Jin looked at you, wide-eyed, before pushing himself off the bed and stalking off towards the front door before you could even say anything. You pushed yourself up and forced yourself to your feet. You managed to hobble your way down the hallway without falling to find Seokjin and your neighbor staring at one another silently.

“Well I see you two have met.” You croaked out before doubling over and coughing so hard your vision blurred.

Your neighbor snapped his attention away from Jin and rushed over to you, helping you stay on your feet long enough to get to the couch. “What did I tell you about getting up without help? I swear, y/n, you’ll be the death of me.” He chuckled, helping you to get comfortable.

“Um.. y/n? Who is this?” Jin asked, obviously annoyed and pointing at your neighbor, who was leaning over you, gently placing your head on a pillow.

“Oh right, you two don’t actually know each other. Jin, this is.. also Jin. He lives in the apartment two doors down and has been helping me the past few days since I got sick. Jinho, this is the other Jin. He’s been my best friend for years.”

Jin’s heart sank a bit hearing that.

“I forgot about our weekly hangout tonight so he came over when I told him I was sick.”

Jinho walked over and reached his hand out to Seokjin. “Nice to meet you! Y/n talks about you like every time I see them. You must be a pretty cool guy for y/n to like you so much.”

Jin’s blood pressure was rising already as he reluctantly shook your neighbor’s hand.

“Yeah, well, we’ve known each other for years. I’ve been there for them through some of the worst times in their life, so no one knows what they need like I do.” He squeezed Jinho’s hand as he said it.

“Yeah, so they’ve said! Did you bring all this over with you?” He asked, gesturing to the ridiculous number of shopping bags on the kitchen counter with everything from noodles to fresh veggies and soju.

“Yeah, I stopped at the store on my way over. What did you bring?” Jin asked, pointing to the small bag your neighbor had brought in.

“Oh I almost forgot! We’ve been working on getting y/n’s fever down so I told them not to be under the blanket anymore and that I’d make tea if they were really that cold, so I went out and bought-”

“Earl Grey?” Jin interrupted him, hoping to catch a mistake.

“Of course!”

Jin’s jaw tightened. “With the honey that they like? In the bear bottle?”

Your neighbor rummaged through the bag and pulled out a bear-shaped bottle. “Honey, check. And before you ask, I also got the peppermint sticks to stir it.” Jinho assured him with a smile.

A grin crossed Jin’s face. He’d caught him. “Sticks or canes? They like having the curve of the cane as a treat after the tea is gone. That’s one of the most important parts.”

A warm feeling spread through your chest, hearing that he knew you so well that he’d notice something so simple that you’d never even said out loud. The only way he could have known that was through observation. At the same time, you felt bad for Jinho, he’d been such a big help to you, but Jin was right. No one knew how to help you like he did.

“Jin?” You asked, having pushed yourself up so you were sitting while the boys were busy with their little pissing contest over who was the best help to you.

Both boys immediately stopped talking and looked at you, immediately attentive to you and your needs.

“Um, you Jin, not you Jin.” You said, pointing to Jinho then Seokjin respectively. As soon as you specified that you weren’t talking to him, Seokjin’s face fell and he eyed your neighbor with disdain.

“Jinho, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me the past few days, but to be fair,” At this, Jin’s head perked up. There was a but?

“To be fair, I really was supposed to be hanging out with Jin tonight, so..”

You neighbor gave a shy smile and nodded his head. “Of course! I wouldn’t want to intrude on your weekly schedule, and it seems to me like he has everything under control.” He said, clapping Seokjin on the shoulder. “I’ll get out of here and let you guys have some time together.” He said with a wink in your direction, causing you to blush. Was it that obvious?

He left the bag of tea on the counter and grabbed his coat and shoes before heading to the door. “Well, y/n, you know where to find me if you need anything, but with him here, I doubt that’ll be the case, so I’ll see you around! Seokjin, it was great to finally meet you! Take good care of them for me.” He said, slipping out the door before Jin had a chance to say anything back. You rolled your eyes, expecting nothing less from your troublemaker of a neighbor.

As soon as the door closed, Jin dramatically rolled his head to look at you. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“What?”

“Really? You wouldn’t call me when you were sick but you called that.. That second-rate imposter to come take care of you?”

You rolled your eyes and stuck your arms out for him to come sit with you like he always did when you were sick. “Okay first of all, I didn’t call him, he heard me coughing from two doors down and came to tell me to shut up and then just wouldn’t leave me alone, secondly, that’s mean, don’t be like that. And lastly, I know you’ve been really busy lately getting ready for the comeback and everything and you’ve been really stressed out so I didn’t want to call you and either pull you away from work or make you worry while you were at work, so I just didn’t say anything.”  You said, as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and you snuggled into his broad chest. You could have sworn that you could smell him, even though you hadn’t been able to smell anything all week, but then again, maybe by now you just knew his smell by heart, just like you knew the rest of him.

A laugh rumbled through his chest as he brushed the hair out of your face and behind your ear. “What am I gonna do with you, y/n…” He took your chin in his strong hand and made you look at him. “Don’t ever, ever think you can’t call me if you need me. Contrary to popular belief, you’re the most important thing in my life. If you need me, I’ll be there for you no matter what, okay?” His eyes searched yours, trying to gauge your reaction.

“Jin, what are you-”

“Jesus, y/n, don’t make me spell it out for you, this is weird enough for me to say already… Just, think about it while I go make your tea, okay? Maybe you’ll figure something out.” He said, laying you down and walking towards the kitchen.

Not five minutes later, did Jin walk back over to you, your favorite mug in hand. Without a word, he helped you sit up and handed you the mug, before starting back towards the kitchen to clean up. “Wait, leave it for now. Come sit with me for a while.” You said, grabbing his hand before he could get too far. Jin smiled and sat behind you on the couch, positioning you between his legs with your back against his chest and his arms around you, the way he knew made you feel safe and warm.

You slowly sipped your tea, watching the peppermint stick slowly dissolve into nothing, a twinge of disappointment washing over you when the whole thing was gone.

You felt Jin chuckle behind you.

“What are you laughing at?”

“You’re just hilarious. You really thought he could take better care of you than me? He didn’t even get the right kind of peppermint sticks!”

You rolled your eyes and smacked Jin’s leg. “Cut him some slack. How did you even know that I like canes more than sticks? I don’t think I ever even told you that…”

Jin pulled you closer and rested his chin on the top of your head. “You didn’t tell me about it. I just noticed. Believe it or not, I’m pretty attentive to the things I care about.”

There was a long silence while you finished your tea and set the mug on the coffee table, shifting so you were laying down again, still wrapped in Jin’s protective embrace, your face pressed to his warm chest.

“Did you really not call me because you thought you’d be bothering me?” He asked, finally breaking the tension you could both feel growing.

You pushed your face closer into him and nodded. “I know how hard you work and I know that you’ve had a lot on your plate lately and it’s really been stressing you out, so I didn’t want to give you anything else to be stressed out about…”

“Y/n. I want you to promise me that no matter what, no matter what I’m doing or where I am, that if you ever need me, you’ll call me. Promise me, okay?”

“But Jin-”

“No buts, y/n. I want you to promise me that you’ll call me. Even if I’m across the world, I’ll find a way to be there for you no matter what. If you’re worried about me being stressed, you can forget that because you’re the one thing in my life that makes all the stress worth it. So if I can’t even be there for you when you need me, then what’s the point in me going through all the stress in the first place? So, y/n, can you promise me that no matter what, you’ll tell me whenever you need me?” He asked, holding you so tight you thought he might break you.

“Jin… I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can promise you that…” You said, holding onto him, fearing he’d leave at any minute.

Jin’s heart dropped and tears sprang to his eyes. “That’s.. Then I guess there’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t force you to do something you don’t want to.. But, can I at least ask why?”

“Jin…” you started, cupping his cheek in your hand, bringing his face down so you could look him in the eyes. The feeling of his breath on your face made your heart race and put butterflies in your stomach. “I can’t promise you that because there’s never a time when I don’t need you.”

A tear fell down Jin’s cheek as he pulled you in and pressed your lips to his, the relief of knowing you felt the same way rushing over him. Reluctantly, he pulled away from you, the brightest smile painted across his face. “Y/n.. Can I ask you one more thing?”

“At this point, do you really need to ask?” You chuckled, wiping the elated tears from his eyes. “But if you really want to, then I suppose.”

“Y/n. I want you to promise me… That you’ll stop calling your neighbor Jin, too. It’s just awkward. There can’t be two of us, and I’m obviously the better one so I think I should get to be- OW!” You punched him in the arm and laughed.

“Fine, fine. How about this. You promise me that you’ll let me make you the happiest woman on Earth and that you’ll stop worrying about being a bother to me, and I’ll let the whole Jin vs Jin thing go… Deal?” You chuckled and placed a kiss to his soft lips.

“Good luck tonight! I hope you have a great show, as always <3” you typed, a smile crossing your face at the thought of your boyfriend hard at work on stage.

It was the second to last show of the tour and everyone was exhausted. You could hardly remember the last time you saw Yoongi so drained. Even when he was up late in his studio, he at least seemed refreshed in the morning, knowing he made progress. But now… Now he just seemed.. different; like he wasn’t always all there.

You were jolted out of your worried haze by your phone buzzing in your pocket.

“Thanks love <3 I’ll be home soon, just wait for me. Be careful walking home tonight and call me so I know you made it home safe.”

You sighed, tucking your phone back into your pocket, knowing you probably wouldn’t hear from him again tonight. You told yourself over and over again that he’d be home before you knew it, but before you knew it, you missed him all the same. Since the group was gaining popularity so quickly, almost every city on the tour had extra shows added at the last minute. The tour was supposed to have ended over a week ago. You missed Yoongi more than anything, but nevertheless, you were always unbelievably proud of him. Seeing how hard he worked for his fans and to be able to do what he loved all over the world made you love him even more.

You missed the way he’d groan whenever you wanted to go out instead of stay in and relax, or watching him brighten up after his first meal of the day. You even missed waking up to him still snoring and even his tendency to take up the entire bed.

Your head was clouded as you walked through the streets on your way home from work with Yoongi this, Yoongi that. Every so often you’d walk past a window or catch your reflection in a puddle and realize you’d been smiling at the mere thought of him. Even the tiniest things like when he’d yell for you to come see him in the studio so he could ask your opinion about his new tracks or just to have you sit on his lap while he worked, though the working never lasted long in those situations.

You took the same route home every day. Saw the same people, cars, vendors, even the same squirrel in the same tree every single day since the day you started your job. But today was special. Today, you knew that Yoongi would be home tomorrow.

As you walked, you couldn’t help yourself from imagining what it would be like to have him home again; to have him be there waiting for you after a long work day or to hear him running lyrics in the shower. He’d be home for a while this time. At least, longer than usual. The group was taking a break after this tour to relax and get ready for the next round of insanity.

You wanted to do something special for Yoongi when he got home tomorrow. Most of your walk was spent trying to think what he’d like the most. You knew him well enough to know that once he was home, he wasn’t going to want to go anywhere for the next few days, so planning dates was out. You could buy something to spice up his first night home, but then again, he’d been away for so long that “spicing up” probably wouldn’t be very necessary. Suddenly, you were snapped out of your own thoughts by the most amazing smell coming from a few streets over. Immediately you knew what you were going to do for Yoongi. His favorite bakery was just a few blocks off your normal route home from work and he always ranted and raved about how amazing their cakes were, so why not stop and pick him up one?

You headed towards the smell, excitement bubbling in your stomach. He’d be here tomorrow. Just a few more hours. You heard indistinct shouting as you stepped off the curb to cross the street, but were so absorbed in your own thoughts to care. A split second later, you heard nothing at all.

*************

Yoongi had you on his mind, as always. He put every ounce of effort he had into the show, knowing he could see you as soon as it was over, but for some reason, the staff still seemed uneasy. Whenever he was backstage, everyone avoided eye-contact with him and only spoke in hurried whispers to one another. As far as he could tell, the show was running as smoothly as ever, possibly even the best it had run the whole tour. So what was the problem?

During another member’s solo, he took a moment to rush over to their manager and ask what the hell was going on. Why was everyone so on-edge?

“It’s nothing for you to worry about. The show is running fine, people are just worried because it’s the last show of the tour. Come see me after the show.”

He tried to press for more information, but before he had the chance, he was called back out on stage. The whole show, something was bothering him. He felt like there was something people weren’t telling him; something important that he should know. The thought of you kept him going. Knowing the better he performed the prouder of him you’d be and the sooner he could come home to you helped him to put his mind at ease.

The show ran flawlessly from start to finish, with not a single thing out of place, which only put Yoongi more on-edge. Something wasn’t right; something important, and they weren’t telling him.

As soon as the curtain fell and the boys ran backstage, he pulled Namjoon aside.

“Did you notice anything weird during the show? Like people were nervous?”

Namjoon’s smile faded and he nodded.

“I noticed. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sure they’d tell us if it was something important. If they’re not telling us, then there’s probably nothing we can do about it.” he reassured him.

“I don’t know, I feel like there’s something they don’t want us to find out about. Something’s up and I want to know what.”

Namjoon nodded in agreement and touched Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Then let’s go find out.”

The two of them turned and marched over to the tour manager, demanding an explanation.

He dismissed them with a wave of the hand and told them they’d talk about it after the photo session. A half-hearted smile played across his face, a thinly veiled attempt at distraction.

Yoongi huffed and stalked off to find his phone, knowing he should have a voicemail from you telling him that you made it home safe. Hearing your voice always calmed his nerves, even if it was just a recording. He rustled through his belongings to get to you, only to find his phone was missing. Panicked, he ran to their manager, asking if he knew where it went.

“I have it. I knew you’d be looking for it and I need you to be focused for at least another hour. You can have it back when the photos are done.”

Yoongi’s hands started to shake as the anger welled up inside him.

“Give me my phone. I’ve been expecting a call and it’s very important that I know I got it.”

The manager slipped Yoongi’s phone back in his pocket.

“You got lots of calls. I told them you were busy. I’ll tell you what they said later. Now go get ready for the fan photos or you won’t be getting it back at all.”

Furious, he clenched his fists in an effort to hold himself back, but upon feeling a reassuring hand on his shoulder, he relaxed, turning to see Namjoon and the rest at his back. They knew how important your call was to him. Checking his phone after a show for it was never a problem before tonight and everyone was starting to worry.

“The tour is over, so your services are no longer required.” Namjoon stated curtly, smiling ever so sweetly at the tour manager. “Oh, and you can return his personal property now or get reported for stealing.”

The manager stood there, dumbfounded, before smirking and assuring them that the tour wasn’t over until the fan photos were done.

Surprisingly, Jin quickly came to the rescue. “The tour is over when we say it’s over. We are the artists and we control our own time. The fan photos will go on as planned, but as we said, your services are no longer necessary. How do you think your bosses will like it when we tell them that you blackmailed us with our own property to do what you want? Or that you’ve neglected to tell us whatever it is that’s so obviously wrong that even the makeup noonas are worried?”

Everyone stood in shock at Jin’s sudden boldness. Sighing, the manager went to hand Yoongi his phone, pulling it away just before he was able to grab it.

“I’m going to give this to you, but only after you swear to me that you’ll handle the consequences.. Whether you like it or not, I’m still the tour manager. If anything goes wrong before you’re back in Seoul, it’s my ass on the line.”

Yoongi nodded and snatched the phone out of the manager’s hand, pushing his way through the other members and stalking away.

The others started to follow him, but Namjoon held out his arm to stop them. “Give him some space. Whatever’s going on he doesn’t need us all butting in. Let him come to us when he’s ready.”

Yoongi unlocked his phone and checked his notifications. Nothing. Nothing on his SNS, no new texts, everything was normal. He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair before pulling himself up and heading over to join the other members.

Everyone was quiet as Yoongi rejoined them. “So? What’s the big news?” Jimin finally asked.

Yoongi just shrugged. “I’m not sure. There were no notifications or anything, so I don’t know what that guy’s problem was.” He pushed the bad feelings from his head, chalking it up to having a bad tour manager who just had a problem with him.

The fan photos and hi-touch seemed to take forever. While he may have been able to calm his nerves after finally getting his phone back, Yoongi couldn’t push the thought of you from his mind. He was constantly thinking about you. He wondered what you were doing, if you missed him, what it would be like to see you again after so long, even things as simple as whether or not you had dinner and if you ate all of his kimchi again.

The rest of the tour activities flew by in a you fueled haze and before he knew it, he was in the van on the way back to the hotel. Usually the van was loud and made it hard to focus, but everyone had a long, stressful day, so hardly a word was said. Yoongi couldn’t wait any longer. He usually liked to wait until he was back at that hotel to call you, but something about today made his need to hear your voice that much stronger.

He pulled out his phone and clicked the phone icon. For some reason, his recent calls were completely full with at least ten from an unknown number and about the same number from you. His blood turned icy and his hands felt like lead. Something was definitely wrong. It took him a long while of staring at the screen and trying desperately to prepare himself mentally for whatever he was about to hear.

Namjoon looked over at Yoongi and knew immediately that something was up. He craned his neck to look over at the screen and saw the multitude of missed calls. Namjoon placed a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder and asked him if he needed a minute. Yoongi nodded hesitantly as Namjoon asked the driver to pull into a nearby parking lot for a moment. By now the rest of the boys knew something was up and were preparing themselves to do whatever they could to help.

The driver pulled into a parking lot and parked, the boys all scrambling out of the back seats, leaving Yoongi alone in the van. They all assured him that whatever it was, they’d help him through it and closed the door.

Yoongi’s hands were trembling and his breath hitched as he dialed your number. With every ring, his heart rate increased, eventually getting to the point that he could feel a pain in his chest. It felt like it rang forever before someone finally picked up. Yoongi couldn’t help but to feel a wave of relief wash over him when the ringing finally stopped.

“Y/n! Y/n what’s going on is everything alright? I’m so sorry, the manager wouldn’t give me my phone after the show and he must have gone through and cleared my notifications so I didn’t even see your calls until just now. Are you okay?”

There was a moment of silence before a deep, husky voice came through the other end. “Is this Min Yoongi?”

Yoongi’s heart went from racing a mile a minute to stopped completely in that instant. Why would a man have y/n’s phone? “Yes this is Yoongi who the hell are you??” Every possible scenario ran through his mind. Had you been cheating on him? No, he thought. You’d never do that to him. Maybe kidnapped by insane fans? There wasn’t enough time for him to even think through all the possible scenarios before the voice came through again.

“My name is Dr. Kim and I’m the head of surgery at Seoul Municipal Hospital.”

Immediately tears sprung to his eyes. Hospital. That was the one word he was hoping not to hear. Something had happened and you had been hurt and he didn’t even know about it. You were hurt and he hadn’t been there to protect you.

“You were the emergency contact for a Ms. y/n, does that sound right?”

Yoongi rubbed his eyes and held his head in his hand. “Yes, she’s my girlfriend. What happened, is she okay?”

“Well, there’s good news and there’s some bad news. It’s up to you which one you want first.”

“Bad news. Give me the worst of it first.” He figured he’d need some good news afterwards just so he wouldn’t break down completely.

“Well, the bad news is, y/n was in a pretty severe accident. She was hit by a speeding driver as she crossed the street.”

Yoongi’s vision started to blur as tears stung at his eyes and he started to feel light headed. None of this would have happened if they hadn’t added extra shows and extended the tour. If only he had been home with you, he thought. Then he would have been able to protect you and this never would have happened.

Finally Yoongi composed himself enough to ask for the good news.

“Well, the good news is, she’s out of surgery and in recovery. She was pretty seriously injured, but she’ll pull through. The worst of it is over, now it’s just a long road of recovery ahead of her. Since you were the emergency contact, you should probably get here as soon as possible. It’ll be good for her to have a familiar face here when she wakes up.”

Yoongi wiped the tears from his face and tried to calm his nerves. You were okay, and that’s all that mattered. “I understand. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Please, take good care of y/n… I don’t know what I’d do without her, I can’t lose her..” he pleaded.

“Of course. She’s not totally out of the woods yet, but we’re going to do everything in our power to make her better, please just trust us and get here as soon as you can.”

Yoongi hung up and held his head in his hands as he sobbed. He wasn’t sure if he was sad, or just angry with himself for not being there when you needed him. Just then, the van door slid open and the boys looked at him with eyes wide, no one daring to say a word.

Yoongi looked at them with determination in his gaze. “Get me to the airport. Now.”

*********

You felt warm. The only sensation you could recognize was warmth. Not a physical warmth, but the kind you feel in your chest when you see a loved one after a long time apart, or when you smell something that reminds you of a fond and distant memory. All you could think of was Yoongi’s smile beaming down at you as he watched you rubbing the sleep from your eyes, slanted rays of sun trickling in from between your bedroom curtains. You reached out to touch his face, only to find your hand passed right through it. His smile began to fade as you reached for him again, the image of him slipping farther and farther from your reach. The warmth in your chest began to fade to a dull ache, then a stabbing pain with each breath, a different kind of heat manifesting itself. The kind of searing heat you feel when you get a paper cut or have a bad sunburn. You gasped for air, but it felt as though someone had stretched a hundred rubber bands around your lungs, making it nearly impossible to draw breath.

You forced your eyes open if only for a moment, and all you could see was red and blue lights flashing over head. You heard shouting and frantic footsteps all around you. There must have been some kind of accident, you thought. You wanted to run. You wanted to be able to pick yourself up and get yourself out of there, but you couldn’t move. It wasn’t until you saw the crowd of people gathered around you and felt the cold metal of the stethoscope pressed to your chest that you realized what was happening. There had been an accident. You had been in an accident.

The man standing over you yelled something to his colleagues, then turned to face you again. He said something to you, but you didn’t know what it was. You weren’t even worried about yourself, at that point. All you could think was “Where is Yoongi?” Your mind raced with thoughts of your boyfriend. Where was he? How would he react when he found out you were hurt? Who would be there for him through it all? God forbid, even what he would do if you didn’t make it. Your worry faded away slowly along with your consciousness.

You slowly regained consciousness, one sense at a time what felt like only moments later. You regained feeling first. You felt a deep soreness all over your body. You felt like you hadn’t moved in god knows how long. You next noticed the pain in your chest and the annoyance of the wires and tubes taped and poked and secured all over your body. Next was smell. The air around you smelled sharp; like someone had used too many cleaning products in too small of a space. It was nothing like the place you thought you had just been. The air stung your nostrils and felt cold in your aching lungs. You noticed a light, rhythmic tapping that wouldn’t stop no matter how much you wished it would. Beeps and hisses and commotion somewhere far away.

You forced your eyes open just enough to see blindingly bright lights above you. After a few seconds, the light became bearable and you were able to open your eyes enough to see more clearly. You blinked the sleep from our eyes and looked around. Your hands had tubes and wires attached to them and your leg was elevated in a sling in front of you. You knew you must have been in a hospital. You looked to your left and saw a long list of medications and details of injuries written on a whiteboard. Was that all just for you? “Broken leg, shattered pelvis, cracked ribs/internal bleeding, cracked sternum, etc.” the board read. How long had you been asleep? Did Yoongi make it home alright?

Your mind stopped after that. Yoongi. Where was he? Had he finished the tour alright? Had he made it home safely? Had anyone even told him what had happened to you? You started to panic and breathe more heavily, causing a sharp pain in your chest. You winced from the stabbing feeling.

There was a rustling on the other side of the room as Yoongi sat up from the recliner he had been napping in at your bedside. His hair was a mess and you could tell that he hadn’t slept much lately, judging by the gaunt look of his face and the puffiness of his eyes. As soon as you saw him, your eyes welled with tears. He stretched, rubbing his face to wake himself up.

“Yoongi..” you whispered, tears spilling down your cheeks.

He stopped, his hands still covering his face. Slowly he moved his hands away from his eyes to see you smiling at him from your hospital bed. As soon as he saw your eyes he rushed to your bedside, almost tripping over an IV stand in the process, any semblance of exhaustion he had now long gone in his excitement. “Y/N! I can’t believe you’re awake they said it’d probably be a few more days before you woke up! How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Water? Should I get a nurse, are you in pain?” He frantically checked over every piece of you Before you finally got his attention long enough for him to stop talking.

“Yoongi, what happened? How long was I out?”

“You really don’t remember what happened?”

You shook your head before realizing that was a bad idea from the stabbing pain that shot through your neck and down your back with each movement. “The last thing I remember is that I decided to stop by that bakery you like so much before going  home from work to get you something for when you came home. After that, everything is blank.

Tears spilled over Yoongi’s face and you heard him sniffle. “I shouldn’t have gone on tour again. Or I should have taken you with me. If I’d fought them harder to bring you with us none of this would have happened..”

“That’s not true and you know it. You love what you do and I would never ask you to stop touring for me. And I couldn’t go on tour with you even if they had allowed it. I have a job and a life here, I can’t just drop it all and come on the road for months at a time. I knew what I was getting myself into when I said yes to you. I don’t blame you for this and you shouldn’t blame yourself either, okay?”

He nodded and wiped the tears from his face, kissing your hand softly, like you were some kind of doll that might crack and fall apart at the slightest touch.

“So what happened to me?”

He sighed and climbed into the bed next to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling your head into his chest. “They told me that you were hit by a speeding driver on your way to the bakery. Apparently they were going way over the speed limit and not paying attention to the stop sign when you were crossing the street. You’ve been knocked out for twelve days…” His voice cracked, then trailed off. “They weren’t sure when or even if you’d wake up again.. I was so afraid y/n.. I was so scared that I was going to lose you and there’d be nothing I could do about it.” You felt his shaky breaths as he let out a sob and gripped you like you were at risk of fading away.

You pulled away from his chest and cupped his cheek in your hand. “But you didn’t lose me. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m here and I’m getting better and nothing is going to take me away from you, so no more tears, okay? It’s gonna take more than one bad driver to get rid of me.” you assured him.

“I love you so much, y/n. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you like that.”

“I love you too, Yoongi. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. You’re my forever, remember?” You felt sleep beginning to take over again as your eyelids started to droop. You let out a yawn and snuggled in closer to your boyfriend.