SENGOKU BASARA Headcanons

Kojuro doesn’t give a fuck if Masamune is still as battle ready and as proficient with his swords as ever when fighting drunk. It’s Not Safe for the Date clan if their leader isn’t functioning at 100% mentally on the battlefield or through a meeting because he decided to have too many cups of sake, and there would be hell to pay if any of their more powerful frenemies were able to capitalize on this.

(Not to mention the countless amount of times he’s had to coddle Masamune through various painful hangovers.)

There isn’t much he can do, since in the end, what Masamune wants is what Masamune gets, but Kojuro is willing to try for the better of both the lord and their domain. Building up the young lord’s tolerance proved to be too disastrous when he misjudged how much liquor Masamune could hold one time, and it would look suspicious if he kept on gifting the nearby lords with alcohol; he briefly thought of dumping all the jugs into the sea, but it would be a shame to waste such lovely liquor - and Masamune wasn’t helping. 

But there is the people. In the end, Kojuro just distributes the large jugs of wine to their constituents and soldiers when Masamune’s not looking (They’re a bit confused on why he continues to gift them profusely, but a gift is a gift), and when Masamune asks him about their disappearing inventory one day, Kojuro just shrugs and makes an offhand comment about how the people needed liquor more.

_____ A/N | a continuation on this headcanon. 

He's known as one of the three men of the Date clan. 

Takenaka Hanbei went as far as nicking him away as an attempt for him to work under Toyotomi.

Given all of those facts, one would think Kojuro as a magnificent bastard deftly rearranging a chess board to his liking, or plotting ruthlessly under his leader's will in a dark, dark room, but Kojuro prefers the simplicity of vegetables. They might be cumbersome, and he knows Masamune-sama's given him judging looks from time to time, but no one expects someone like him to be strategising while farming, right? 

Generally, different types of vegetables represent different forces, and they're naturally catagorised by his preferences. Leeks are almost always Date, eggplants usually represent Takeda (purple for the colour of Shingen's face when shit hits the fan) and soybeans (all later turned into natto, just like Kenshin's dreams) most likely Uesugi on their better days.

Smoking is horrible for one's health, they say.

Motochika doesn't give a shit. He rarely gives a shit, anyways. Live long and prosper - and he takes another good inhale. Of course, he knows that one day, it'll all add up, but he likes living in the now rather than trying to look over his shoulder.

It also doesn't hurt to have a vice now and then because, hey - what better to smoke and plot the demise of several enemies? 

There are times where the smoke from his pipe clogs the whole room, or times when he smokes to the point where Fugaku practically turned into a larger version of his pipe (which was why he made his men install more gardens) but he revels in the burning scent (think of it like burning your enemies, mate) as he contemplates his next course of action. 

For now, he'll just enjoy puffing out rings shaped like Motonari's weird-ass weapon, or stream out thin, wispy dragons. Maybe he'll try smoking in front of Motonari when he can puff out a ring that can fit right over the other man's hat. Or weapon. Or both.

Or just lining all his enemies up and puffing them halos for luck before sending them towards death.

Despite all his enthusiasm, despite his badassery and constant efforts to "play it cool", Masamune is a lightweight. He's buzzed after three cups, roaring drunk after seven, and oh-shit-get-everyone-out-of-here-he's-got-his-swords-out after eleven. 

Even that being said, Masamune still enjoys getting shitfaced drunk for the chagrined/resigned/terrified looks on his subordinates' faces. He's also even more of a terror on the battlefield as a drunk, as an unlucky foe discovered when they tried launching a surprise attack on the partying Date clan after a Date victory. Masamune merely continued to indulge himself in a couple more cups of sake before entering the midst and sending the mooks flying around with a shower of separated appendages and blood splatters.

He (unsurprisingly? surprisingly?) came out of the battle without any damage. _____

(inspired by TV Trope's note that "[Masamune] was rather infamous for his low alcohol tolerance, but this didn't stop him from drinking, nor from messing up by deciding on matters while under the influence. Once he faked illness to avoid meeting the shogun, Tokugawa Hidetada - in reality he was nursing a hangover from hell.")

When Masamune tried casting a Patronus charm for the first time, he only saw a slight wisp of smoke leave his wand. And thus he screamed: 

"GODDAMMIT KOJURO WHAT AM I FUCKING UP THIS TIME"

"IS KILLING MY BROTHER NOT HAPPY ENOUGH FOR THIS TO WORK BECAUSE I WAS DAMN WELL HAPPY WHEN I GOT TO SEE MOTHER SHIT HERSELF OVER HER PRECIOUS DARLING"

He didn't try the charm again for quite a few months because he was afraid that his patronus would be something as insignificant or unappealing as a garter snake or centipede.

(He managed to cast it successfully for the first time when dealing with Oda Nobunaga, however, and a single tear nearly escaped his eye as he saw a silvery dragon shoot out from his wand.) _____

As both Masamune and Kojuro's patronuses are dragons, Masamune is sometimes apt to try and classify their dragon patronuses, even when Kojuro doesn't want to give a shit but still has to - which usually leads to a lot of wisps floating around the area and angry yelling (at best). 

"No, Kojuro, it is a Chinese fireball, you see? You just gotta keep calm about this and use your instincts."

"But Masamune-sama, if you'd just look at this diagram, your patronus's snout is too long for it to be a Chinese fireball - "

"Oooh yeah, just like my dick."