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brad: im at the hospital. just a minor sort of major but mostly minor car accident. i didn't want to call asher he would freak out. i'll call him later just come a minute please? if you can. dont tell asher!!!
bryan: oh
bryan: uh are you sure you don't wanna talk to asher?
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How the heck do you even get your hair like that? Wait – that’s not the question. So, I mean – Asher and I are kind of alright since the whole me punching you thing. I’m sure he’s still a little upset about it even if he won’t say, but I know him, he probably still shakes his head at me when I’m not looking whenever he happens to remember it out of the blue. Anyway, I wanted to do something really nice for him, and I was hoping you could get some answers out of him for me?
Oh sure, of course. I don’t mind that at all. Hope it goes well. Just give me the questions you want to ask and I’ll see what I can get out of him. On one condition though, you bake me some of those cupcakes Asher’s always stuffing his face with. How are you though, Brad? Good, I hope?
Brad shifted uncomfortably under Bryan’s gaze, taking in every word he’d said. Bryan was right. He had been the won who had captured Asher’s heart, and all he was doing was screwing it up. She sighed, thanking the waitress when she brought his water over. He took a sip, sighing again and rubbed at his temples. “I’m — I didn’t want things to get to this point. I honestly didn’t. I hate it when we fight like this. I really hate it. I’m always … making things escalate. I dunno. I can’t seem to … draw a line, settle things, drop things… I just … always need to make sure what I say matters and … it doesn’t always and I need to realize that. I’m like my dad in that way. I need to change that bit about me, but it’s hard, you know? Changing something that’s practically in your blood.” It was weird. Brad wasn’t wary of talking to Bryan about something so personal. It felt .. completely normal. Brad frowned at the thought. Damn it, don’t start thinking that you might actually like the guy. “I don’t want to be like my dad at – Oh.” Then it clicked. Was that the reason Asher was so upset about him punching Bryan? Was it about his dad? He saw Bryan’s confused look and shifted uncomfortably again. The man seemed to stare so intently at you. Like he was giving you his complete attention … “My dad … he’s …. not …. the best …. husband? He’s .. He cheats on my mom, and he …. he’s abusive.” Brad could feel the bile in his throat when he said it. “And …. I dunno … I tell my mom to leave him and she doesn’t and I don’t know how else to get through to her but … I thought … I just thought … is that it? Is that why Asher got so upset? I mean, he said that he doesn’t even want us having another baby because I hit you and .. is he worried I’ll be abusive like my dad? Because I’m not like him, not in that way. I hope he knows that …. “ Brad trailed off. Did Asher think that way though? If he did, then Brad had really screwed up.
Bryan noticed two things. One, Brad wasn’t as tough as he appeared or seemed to be, and two -- he was pretty insecure. He didn’t say that to be mean, just to be observant. “Brad ... “ Bryan pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. “I think this is something you and Asher need to talk about, and I’m not saying that because I don’t want to hear. I don’t mind listening at all, I really don’t. But -- that’s something you need to talk about. Honestly. That’s heavy. You can’t lift that alone. So tell him how you feel. He should know, and if you think that he feels that way, it’ll be good to tell him.” Bryan gave Brad a soft smile before popping a few fries into his mouth. “Maybe I can walk you back to my place. And you and Asher can drive back home? He might like that.”
Brad had come back to the house after he’d ended up at Matt’s house, but Asher and Phoebe weren’t there. The only person he’d think of was Bryan, and sure enough Asher had gone over there. Brad couldn’t blame him, or be mad at him. After all, he too had run off to his friend’s house. Bryan had agreed to meet up with him so they could talk. Brad didn’t know if he’d apologize, punch the man again, or beg him to leave his husband alone. Even if he’d done the latter, he was pretty sure it would just be in vain. He and Bryan needed to talk. They just had to. All they ever did was have meaningless, insulting conversations, and Brad was tired of having his husband mad at him. It had even come to the point where Asher had told him that he wanted them to take a break …. it had really come to that and Brad hated it. He jumped when he heard his name, letting out a quiet breath when Bryan took a seat across from him. “I – I figured we could talk.” He sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I dunno …. I’m sure Asher probably told you what happened and ….” He sighed, he could feel an apology on his tongue, and he knew that he’d mean it. “I’m sorry, Bryan. I really am. About everything. But especially about punching you. I honestly never should have done that, and I apologize for it.” If Bryan believed him, or accepted his apology was all up to him. “I don’t like you.” Brad said right after, “But Asher obviously still cares for you and despite how I might feel about that, he’s going to continue being your friend regardless. I just have to get over it and let it go and let it be — even though I don’t like you.”
Bryan did believe Brad’s apology. He really did. He didn’t want to fight with the man, it’s why he hadn’t hit back. Bryan wasn’t the type to get into fights (minus that crap with Aiden and honestly only if he was really pissed off which was rare) and he wasn’t about to get into one with his best friend’s husband. “Apology accepted, Brad.” Bryan watched the man a moment before saying, “Asher loves you, you know? He does. I’m telling you this because you don’t seem to know that. Asher is .... the epitome of everything that is good and you know that he’d never cheat on you. He’s married to you, Brad. If he wanted someone else, he’d never decide on wanting only you. Yes, he did cheat on me with you. But we were in a relationship, and yes -- a relationship should be treated with as much respect as a marriage but ... Asher wasn’t mine. He wasn’t married to me. I wasn’t the person he wanted, and he realized that. I probably deserved it but that’s another story and completely besides the point so I won’t get into that. But Brad -- you need to just ... realize you have a good thing and stop fucking it up.” When the waitress came over, Bryan ordered a club soda and some fries. Brad just got a water. “He’s ... I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this sad, Brad. He’s probably going to wake up with a massive headache with all the crying he did, and I don’t know what he’s going to be thinking when he does wake up, but you need to come and get him, and talk to him. Not fight with him.” Sighing, Bryan leaned forward and clasped his hands together on the table in front of him. “I’m sorry for always being such a dick, and I mean that. You won. He choose you. I have to learn to let it go. But Brad, you won. You can’t afford to lose now.”
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Bryan waited until Asher had fallen asleep to meet Brad at the diner just across the street from his apartment. He wasn’t surprised that the man had messaged him back, the man couldn’t seem to ignore him -- he was just surprised he’d asked to meet him. He must have figured Asher was with him since he wasn’t home, and unless Brad was going to give him another black eye, he probably just wanted to talk. But Bryan didn’t want to talk to Brad. He had no problems with him, and yes -- Bryan was a bit of a dick to him and sure Bryan was in love with his husband but still, Bryan could be civil, even if he teased and annoyed Brad all the time. Friends did do that sort of thing. Anyway, Bryan heard the bell on the door sound off as he opened the door, spotting Brad sitting in the corner looking out the window. The man looked incredibly sad. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Brad that sad before. “Brad.” Bryan took a seat across from the man, who’d jumped a little at the sound of his name. Obviously he was deep in thought, and Bryan wasn’t surprised. “So, why’d you bring me here?”
asher: that sounds really nice i really want to do that but someone's probably going to see us and blab to brad and it'll just get even worse :(
bryan: what did i just say?
bryan: if you want to, then you do what you wanna do and stop giving a fuck about people who aren't even your friends. you know whats the truth and you should be confident enough in that truth to come and let me cheer you up. im already in the car driving anyway.
asher: i'm not as strong as you though i don't know how long i can take this but i know there's nothing i can do
asher: i just
asher: i regret what i did so much and i feel so bad and if i could go back and time and take it all back i would in a heartbeat i'd give up everything just to take back that one night but i can't and it's ruining my happiness and my marriage like
asher: i don't even know if i'll be married for much longer
asher: am i talking about myself too much? i'm sorry
bryan: ash :(((
bryan: im so sorry this is happening to you.
bryan: it's all right. you talking about you i mean i don't mind.
bryan: babe how about this.
bryan: lets hang out. i'll buy you ice cream and lasagna and pasta and alfredo and we can watch harry potter weekend.
bryan: im coming to pick you up.
bryan: phoebe can come too. she and diana can eat with us.
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asher: did people ever constantly torment you and call you a cheater
asher: if they did how did you deal with it how did you keep your sanity
asher: did you ever question your morals and if you're a good person
asher: bc its making me feel like shit and i just
asher: i've never felt this fucking low in my life ever it's like everyone hates me
asher: and then they wonder why i hang out with you and aiden you two are the only people who don't think i'm a piece of shit
bryan: oh
bryan: uh, yes they did and that's cause i was one?
bryan: i dealt with it. i don't give a fuck what people say about me though, like i look for fucks to give and can't find any pal.
bryan: but ........ and don't get me wrong babe
bryan: but you did cheat ... and ... i mean, that's like a permanent stain, ash. and i am telling you this 'cause i know.
bryan: and that cliche line you know "once a cheater, always a cheater" people fuck up one time and they learn from it. it took me more than once. but i know that that's not you. and it's not me anymore. but .... you just got to ignore what people say about you ash.
the one where bryan asks addy out for drinks and has a burger before crashing on addy’s couch
when: 30th august 2017
where: bar, diner
warnings: mentions of boys
Bryan chewed at his lip and watched his watch, waiting for the hour to pass by. He was looking forward to spending some time with Addy, even though he had no clue where the night would end up. By the time the hour was done, Bryan had already had three cups of rum and coke. "Hey, hot stuff. Let's go." Bryan didn't say much on the walk to the next bar, which he did prefer compared to where Addy worked. "You're right. That bar you work at is a shithole." He chuckled and took a seat at the bar and ordered two drinks. "So -- how'd you end up working at that bar anyway?"
Addy was already exhausted by this night and was subtly wishing he could just fly back to New York already. He knew this wasn't a good idea and, quite frankly, wished to pull it off like a bandaid. While it was true that he didn't actively hate Bryan anymore, it was also true that he still didn't have the highest opinion of the man, and rather would've like to just avoid the situation entirely. Another case of his classic can't-see-you-can't-see-me tactic. "It's a mess without me," he said, scoffing at the question, "It's down the street from a very busy corner. Busk in the morning, work at noon until nine, busk in the evening, sleep, repeat."
Bryan "No, I mean -- how did you ... end up bartending? I mean, that wasn't your major. What gave you a change of heart?" Bryan put his chin in his hand, resting his elbow on the bar as he watched Addy. "It's just .... surprising, I guess. Didn't seem like something you'd do." Bryan wondered what other surprises Addy had up his sleeve. Getting older really did change some people.
Addy blinked at him. "Mostly get to pick your own hours, at the bar I work at back home, I practically run the joint, and bars are usually near or are the busy place on any given street." He tucked his hair behind his ear and shrugged. "Simple, really, just a matter of where I'm the most likely to be heard." He thanked the woman for the drinks and took a sip, licking his lips after and rubbing a hand over his jaw. "What about you?"
Bryan "I'm a firefighter." That was nowhere close to Bryan's major either. But he couldn't possibly mix singing and wanting to be an artist with a little girl. So he chose her. A normal childhood for her. He didn't regret it one bit. Sure, he didn't really have much time for himself, but Diana was happy and that was all that mattered. "Have been for the last four years. It's ... tiring, but I love it. More than I thought I would, actually." Bryan watched the way Addy licked his lips and glanced away, downing his entire glass before he asked for another. "And Diana boasts me about all the time, so it's a win-win.”
Addy nodded slowly. "Heroic," he noted, a little startled, but nowhere near shocked. It wasn't a shock that Bryan had become basically the poster guy for nobility and valor. Addy had always thought a life of honor and truth suited who he was on the inside. The deep-down Bryan, the real Bryan, the one that Addy had loved all those years ago? He was a hero. He was the firefighter, even back then. So while the risky-business side of that job was startling, the deeper psychology behind it wasn't. He hummed slightly. There was a metaphor hidden inside of that; something that screamed that the Bryan everyone thought he was--a dick, rogue-ish, a playboy, unbothered and entirely too invested--was the fire. Addy could sit here and analyze the meaning behind it all, but he didn't need to. He watched Bryan down his drink and he raised an eyebrow. "Diana. How old is she now?"
Bryan "She's eight." She was in the third grade, a tiny little genius. She was at the top of her class, along side children who were older than she was. Bryan was completely head over heels for her. Bryan took out his wallet and showed Addy a photo of her. "There's my little princess. She's starting to look like Savannah each day but she has my eyes though. Savannah's her mom, though. In case you didn't know that. S'not really involved with Diana, though. I mean, a few years back she was convinced she wanted custody and took me to court but -- it's obvious how that turned out." Bryan closed the wallet and pushed it back into his pockets. He finished his drink again and ordered another.
Addy smiled slightly at the picture of the little girl. He listened to everything Bryan had to say about her, glad she was still the sole love of his life. If anyone deserved that, it was her. "I can't imagine someone trying to take you to court over her. You've been the one raising her, that's a bit ridiculous, no?" He sipped his drink again, resting his elbows on the table. "I don't have much to share, if I'm honest. I don't have any interesting children."
Bryan "Mm, I know, right? Judge probably thought that too. Doesn't really matter though. That's all in the past." Bryan chuckled at what Addy said and took a sip of his drink. "Yeah. Not yet though, anyway. Right? I mean -- do you think you'd want to have children sometime in the near future?" Bryan took a second sip of his drink, a tad bit longer than the first. He didn't want to get too plastered. As much as he would have liked to, considering his week. "Or no?"
Addy shrugged. "Probably, but I don't know." He ran his finger around the rim of his glass. "What the fuck happened to your face, dude?" he asked, looking at Bryan's eye, "I meant to ask earlier, but now it's more pronounced in this light." He raised his eyebrows. "Oh, by the way, I met a friend of yours. Asher, I think he said his name was. Really awesome guy, honestly."
Bryan frowned. When the hell did Addy get this straightforward. Or was he always this straightforward? Bryan didn't want to talk about anyone besides the man who was sitting across from him. He pouted his lips then said, "Someone punched me in the face. I said something, he took it to heart and took a swing at me. And no, I didn't hit him back. Not worth it." Bryan shrugged, finished what was left in his glass and sighed. "Yeah .... he's pretty awesome .." Bryan trailed off, waving the bartender over. "More rum, less coke, yeah?" Bryan shifted in his seat and brought his gaze back to Addy. "What'd he say?"
Addy realized it as it soon as he said it. The second guy in the story. "Mm, his husband, right?" he nodded sagely and shrugged, "He just said you weren't a dick anymore." He smirked at him slightly and took another sip. "Drowning yourself in alcohol, hm? Your liver is screeching at you." He laughed softly, shaking his head. "Guess some things never change, huh? That's okay--you're endearing when drunk, if I know you at all. Anyway, yeah, he is awesome. Gave me a contact and everything, it was chill."
Bryan looked at Addy curiously. Didn't he and Asher just meet? They were sharing their life story already? Geez. "Um, yeah. His husband... " Well, that probably meant that Addy know Asher wasn't just Bryan's friend. He wondered just how much he did know now. Bryan let out a loud sigh, hating the way their conversation had been going. "I'm not ... drowning myself in alcohol ... " He rolled his eyes at how easy Addy seemed to read him. Ugh. Damn him. "I'm not ... drunk." Bryan frowned, "And .. what? Gave him your number for what reason?"
Addy almost laughed at how in just a few minutes, he'd put Bryan on the defensive, but he didn't. He hummed softly. "How stupid was whatever you said? I don't care about what it was, but it's almost funny that you got punched. Almost. I'd be an asshole to say it is, but it's almost." He smiled, and for a second, there was a flash of Addy in college hiding in his eyes. Addy had changed. "Sure seems you're working on getting there," he said, "But you do you, dude." He cocked his head to the side at the question. "He apparently knows some people at a studio, so he was nice enough to offer a way in. Nice guy, honestly. I gave him my number because he needs someone to rant to, or something. Which, you know, I enjoy listening to people."
Bryan "I told him .. well I asked him how he felt sleeping in bed alone when his husband was out with his ex boyfriend." Bryan took a sip of his drink. "I'd punch me if I said that to me." Another sip. "I'm not. .... " Pouting, Bryan watched Addy as he brought the cup to his lips and took a longer third sip. "Oh? He needs someone to rant to?" Was this before or after Bryan told him he needed a day away from him. Maybe. But why would Asher need someone to rant to if he had Bryan. Hell, he had Brad. "Oh. Well .... that's good, and yeah. That was your major. Well, Psychology, anyway. Still interested in doing that?"
Addy couldn't hold back the laugh anymore. "Oh my God, you what?" He was incredulous, holding his hand over his mouth to keep it all contained. "I know that's really not funny because you got punched, but, like, from my outside perspective? It's fucking hilarious. I'm so sorry." He said, shaking his head. "Yeah, I think he just needed someone who wasn't involved in his life, you know? Um, you know, I'm more interested in music, but I have certification to do therapy if that bombs horribly." He shrugged again.
Bryan frowned at hearing Addy laugh. It was a pleasant sound though, but still -- he was laughing at Bryan's pain. "Shut up." Bryan stuck his tongue out at the man, emptied his glass and left it on the bar counter. "Well, that makes sense. I mean, it's nice to have an outside ear and an outside voice. It's good for you." Sighing, Bryan wet his lips before he continued, "You could talk to Naomi, she's into the music thing. She works with a record label, I think."
Addy grinned at him. "C'mon. It's a little funny." He smirked at the placement of the glass and nodded. "Means I don't have to talk about shit," he said, pulling his hair back into a low ponytail. "No idea who the hell that is, but I'm sure she's real nice." It was deep sarcasm.
Bryan watched Addy pull his hair back and he had no idea that something as simple and as subconscious as that could seem so enticing. It was the alcohol. Definitely the alcohol. "I mean, maybe funny to you but .... whatever. It's happened. I'm over it. Completely over it." Bryan shook his head and avoided any further drinks for the rest of the time he and Addy spoke at the bar. He wasn't sure for how long though, and Bryan suddenly didn't know what to say or what to do. "So um," Bryan stood up from the bar stool, a bit wobbly as he tried to stand up still, "shit -- that fucking rum really knows how to swing your head... " Bryan rubbed at the back of his neck. "Where to, Lillis?"
Addy shook his head. "Doesn't seem like you're over it," he said, scratching his neck. He snorted when Bryan stood. "I told you," he said, "We can go to the park--it's nice at this time." He shrugged, pulling on a stray piece of his hair before tucking it back into the ponytail. "You good, mate? Also, why do you keep calling me by my last name? It's kinda weird, dude."
Bryan "I'm over it." Bryan practically growled the words. Was Addy going to fucking drop it or not? He just wouldn't shut the hell up about it. "You know, you're a .. little .... bitchy tonight, aren't you? Like, you grew two more balls the past five years or something. I've no complaints though. I wouldn't mind seeing 'em either." Bryan rubbed at his neck again, paid the bartender and made his way to the bar's exit. "Sorry, Adonai, my bad. I'll call you whatever you want me to call you. Addy, Adonai .. baby, sweetie ... just tell me. What? The park?" Bryan's eyes narrowed momentarily, "Fine."
Addy nodded slowly and walked out with him. "Mm, sounds like drunk Bryan has joined the party. You wanna get a burger?" he asked, already heading in the direction of such. He scratched his eyebrow and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I actually have twelve balls now, as a matter of fact, and I'm sure you would, I'm a scientific miracle." He chuckled softly at his own words and kept nodding as Bryan rambled. "Yep, you can technically do what you want." He was smiling to himself, trying very hard not to laugh at this clear display of intoxication.
Bryan scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Fuck me, Addy. Come on, make up your mind. Are we getting a burger or are we going to the park? Don't toy with me, mister." Bryan pointed his fingers at the man and scoffed. "I want a burger though, so we should go get that." Bryan wasn't sure how long they walked for, but he was grateful to be sitting in the booth when he got there. The waitress came over and they made their orders, and Bryan groaned as he rested his forehead on his arm on the table. "Geez, good thing I didn't have anymore to drink. Ugh ---"
Addy shook his head. "Now is a good time for I told you so, I think," he said, patting Bryan's head lightly. "Poor Bryan, gonna have a hangover tomorrow probably." He laughed softly, watching eagerly as his chicken salad was brought to him. He started eating immediately, forgetting about how hungry was. "This is damn good, though," he noticed, nodding in appreciation.
Bryan "Fuck off, Addy." Bryan pouted, grateful when the food finally came to their table. He ate in happy silence, save for when he stuck his tongue out at Addy and asked him when he'd pulled his hair up. Bryan washed his burger down with water and groaned when he stood up again. "Fuck, I can't go back to the apartment like this." Bryan rubbed at his eyes. "Can I crash on your couch tonight? Please, please. I'll be out of there before you wake up in the morning."
Addy raised an eyebrow and kept ignoring, mostly ignoring the other man. He paid, thanking the waitress as he started for the door. "Sure," he said, shrugging slightly, "Although, it might be the shittiest couch you'll ever experience." He smirked as he walked out of the little diner, heading down the street towards his apartment complex, fishing his keys out of his back pocket. "Also, the air is broken, so I've got fans going, if that shit bothers you."
