💀Queen of Monsters.💀

DM: "Alright, I know it's last minute, but did you find a group for us tonight?"

Player: "Yeah, but I should warn you. These guys have some weird as fuck names."

DM: "Ah, it can't be that bad. Come on, one at a time, what's their names and classes?"

Player: "Okay, well, Who's the Cleric. What's the Rogue. I Don't Know's the Druid."

DM: "Yeah, that's what I wanna know. I need you to tell me the name of the guys in the group."

Player: "I'm telling you. Who's the Cleric. What's the Rogue. I Don't Know's the-"

DM: "You know their names or not?"

Player: "Yes."

DM: "Then who's the Cleric?"

Player: "Yes."

DM: "I mean the guy that's the Cleric."

Player: "Who."

DM: "The guy that's playing the Cleric."

Player: "Who."

DM: "The Cleric!"

Player: "Who is the Cleric."

DM: "Well, what are you asking me for?"

Player: "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. Who is the Cleric."

DM: "I'm asking you who's the Cleric?"

Player: "That's the dude's name."

DM: "That's who's name?"

Player: "Yes."

DM: "Look, all I'm asking is what's the name of the Cleric?"

Player: "No, no. What's the Rogue."

DM: "I'm not asking you who's the Rogue."

Player: "Who's the Cleric."

DM: "ONE CLASS AT A TIME!"

Player: "Well, don't change the classes around."

DM: "I'm not changing anyone! I'm only asking you who's the Cleric?"

Player: "That's right."

DM: ... "Look, what's the name of the Cleric?"

Player: "No, no. What's the Rogue."

DM: "I'm not asking who's the Rogue."

Player: "Who is the Cleric."

DM: "I don't know!"

Player: "He's the Druid. We're not talking about him."

DM: ..."How'd I get to the Druid.?"

Player: "You mentioned his name."

DM: "If I mentioned a Druid, who is playing the Druid?"

Player: "No, Who's the Cleric."

DM: "What's the Cleric's name?"

Player: "What's the Rogue."

DM: "I don't know."

Player: "That's the Druid."

DM: "There I go, back to the Druid again."

Player: "Well, I can't do nothing about that."

DM: "Look, you got a Paladin?"

Player: "Yep!"

DM: "The Paladin's name?"

Player: "Why."

DM: "I just thought I'd ask you."

Player: "I just thought I'd tell you."

DM: "Then tell me who's playing the Paladin."

Player: "Who's the Cleric."

DM: "I just- No! I wanna know what's the name of the Paladin!"

Player: "What's the Rogue."

DM: "I don't know."

Player (but DM shouts at the same time): "Druid!"

DM: "The Paladin's name..."

Player: "Why."

DM: "BECAUSE!"

Player: "Ohhhh, he's our Ranger."

DM: -aggravated mumbling- "Ugh, okay. You got a Warlock?"

Player: "Umm, yep."

DM: "The Warlock's name?"

Player: "Tomorrow."

DM: "You don't wanna tell me today?"

Player: "I'm telling you now."

DM: "Then tell me."

Player: "Tomorrow."

DM: "What time?"

Player: "What time what?"

DM: "What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's the Warlock?"

Player: "Now, listen. Who is not the Warlock. Who is-"

DM: "I'LL BREAK YOUR ARM, YOU SAY WHO'S THE CLERIC!"

Player: "Well, what do you want me to do!?"

DM: "Ugh... you got a Barbarian?"

Player: "Yes."

DM: "The Barbarian's name."

Player: "Today."

DM: "Today. And Tomorrow's the Warlock."

Player: "Now, you've got it."

DM: "Ah, so all we've got is a couple of days in the group."

Player: "Well, I can't help that."

DM: "You know, I'm a pretty good Barbarian too."

Player: "Yes, I've witnessed this several times."

DM: "And as a Barbarian, let's say we're in a dungeon and we run into an orc. I charge in with my axe and attack. It's a lot stronger than we anticipated, so Tomorrow comes in and helps me by using his magic attack to give me a boost. We defeat it, but I'm pretty banged up, so Who comes over and heals me?"

Player: "Now, that's the first thing you've said right."