Jas

I find the discourse of “Jason is just a big softie” vs “no, he’s a brute” to be so telling. He’s both AND he’s neither. The idea that Jason is a softie comes from people looking down on his extreme empathy towards women and children. The idea that he’s a brute is usually a classist argument because he grew up in Crime Alley.

very normal drifter!Bruce appreciation post

summary : Your boyfriend has a new haircut.. not only were you not expecting it, you didn’t expect to find it so.. hot?

masterlist ◞ DC Masterlist ◞ ac : @/twalxx

You were halfway through making dinner when the front door clicked open. The smell of garlic and herbs filled the apartment, the low hum of the radio playing some old rock song in the background. You’d had a long day — work, errands, the usual Gotham chaos — but coming home to cook for Jason always made it better. He usually got back from patrol around this time, still wired but softening the second he saw you.

You turned, wooden spoon in hand, ready to greet him with a smile and maybe a quick kiss.

Then you saw him.

Jason Todd stood in the doorway, kicking off his boots, hair still slightly damp from whatever he’d done to it. The usual messy, slightly-too-long style was gone. In its place was something sharper, cleaner — a baby mullet. The sides were trimmed close, the back longer, just enough to curl at the nape of his neck. The white streak stood out even more now, bright against the dark, freshly cut hair. It made his jaw look sharper, his eyes more intense. He looked… dangerous. Hot. Like the kind of man who could ruin your life in the best way.

You stared. Openly. The spoon slipped from your fingers and clattered into the pot.

Jason raised an eyebrow, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “What? Alfred finally convinced me to get it cut. Said I looked like a stray dog. You hate it?”

You shook your head slowly, mouth dry. “No. I… God, Jason. You look…”

Header made by me but art credits to the amazing @ciricearts !! I definitely had this picture in mind while writing <33 dividers from @easytiger-xo :)

Pairing: Jason Todd x fem!reader

Word count: approx. 5000

Content warnings: 18+ MDNI (I wouldn't call it smut exactly but they do have sex and it's mentioned multiple times), mentions of pregnancy but reader is not pregnant (and they're happy about that!), angst because I can't seem to write anything that doesn't involve angst, established relationship, mentions of Jason being lowkey suicidal in the past, mentions of drug use but not from reader or Jason, use of pet names (baby, pretty, angel, ma, doll) bc of course there is it's a Jason fic lmao, no use of y/n. Happy ending and lots of fluff <3

A/n: This was meant to be a drabble but it really ran away from me as you can see... Please ignore that the title is terrible lmao I suck at naming things and just wanted to get this posted. I have proofread and edited this a bit but it's too hot to look at it anymore so if you find any mistakes please let me know :') first time writing for Jason and also my first attempt at an x reader fic so I hope it's alright!! Thanks so much for reading :) <3

Present day

Jason was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing sometime between you coming back from the bathroom and now. You’d handled the wrapped pregnancy test like it was something dangerous, setting it down on the coffee table with the same level of care he would use to set down a loaded gun.

You’d sunk down into the opposite corner of the couch from him. The space between you seemed insurmountable for a moment, sending a jitter through Jason. He needed you closer.

“C’mere baby,” he grumbled, stretching out to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap “you set a timer, yeah?” You only nodded in reply, flashing him a glimpse of your phone screen, the numbers ticking down second by second before you tucked your head under his chin and snuggled into his chest.

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head and stared at the little rectangle of foil packaging on the table in front of you both like it might disappear if he looked away. It was almost funny how something so innocuous held the answer to an unknown that had been plaguing both of you for weeks now. The scent of your shampoo took over his senses, grounding him a bit, but for once it did little to soothe the emotions swirling through him.

The same thought had been on repeat in his mind since the moment that you’d shaken him awake that morning to let him know your period was still late, 4 days overdue now; how the fuck had this happened?

Of course, Jason was all too aware of exactly how this had happened.

18 days before present day

It had been a terrible night of patrol, and he’d come home even more bloodied and bruised than usual, bone tired as he climbed through the window of your shared apartment. He had argued with Bruce earlier in the night, the older man insisting that Jason was slipping back into old habits and getting 'too rough' again.

Jason wanted nothing more than to strip off his gear and collapse into bed with you beside him, and hopefully sleep for a long long time. But as he pushed the window shut behind him and secured the lock, he heard you shifting behind him as you stirred awake.

“Jay, that you?” your voice still thick with sleep immediately broke him out of the temper he had worked himself into over Bruce’s words on the journey home.

No matter how many times he had told you to just go to bed without him, you refused to rest completely until you knew he had made it back home to you safely.

You were snuggled beneath a faded crocheted throw in your favourite corner of the couch, the warm light from the lamp behind you casting shadows across the delicate planes of your face. He could see the way your half lidded, sleepy eyes lit from within as you looked across to where he stood, still cloaked in the shadows as he removed his helmet and holsters.  

“Yeah ma, just me.” He kept his voice gentle, not wanting to rouse you further as he stepped closer into the glow that surrounded you. His heart felt too big for his chest as he drank in the sight of you smiling up at him. So soft, so warm, so comforting. You were everything he needed in that moment.

Jason sank into the cushions next to you on the sofa. As he gathered you into his lap and pressed his lips to yours, all the bad from the night seemed to melt away around him. His chapped lips moved hungrily against the soft plumpness of your own. That was one of your favourite things about Jason: he kissed you like you were his salvation.

He pulled you close, then closer still, and as you filled his every sense, rational thought left him entirely. You were all that existed.

Trapped in the haze of you, it completely slipped his mind that you had come off your birth control a few months ago. Any thoughts of being careful, of stopping to find a condom never even crossed his mind. To be fair to him, you hadn’t exactly remembered either, begging him not to move away as you both finished, your legs locked around his hips to keep him in place.

It was only afterwards, as Jason moved on autopilot to grab a damp washcloth and you slowly came back down to earth from the fluffy cloud he’d placed you on, that you both realised what the consequences of that action could be.

“Fuck,” Jason hissed under his breath as he rummaged through the bathroom cabinet, looking for the box of Plan B you had brought home the same day you stopped talking your pill, “Fucking shit fuck.” His fingers closed around the box and he said a silent prayer that it wasn’t expired.

It wasn’t, and when he brought it back to you with a glass of water to swallow it down, you were already sat upright, frantically loading your period tracking app. Your heart sank as you saw that today was firmly in the middle of the blue window that suggested when you might ovulate.

Panic clawed at your chest. You couldn’t form words, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. You looked up at Jason, your vision already beginning to blur with tears, expecting him to be as panic-stricken as you. To your surprise, he seemed perfectly calm, pressing the tiny pill into your outstretched palm and bringing the glass of water to your lips once you’d popped it into your mouth, waiting patiently for you to swallow.

He pulled his own discarded t-shirt over your head and sunk down beside you, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your neck as you tried to push the panic down enough to say something, anything, to him. You didn’t need to though. Jason seemed to read your mind, as he so often did, saying exactly the words you needed to hear in that moment. “It’ll be okay angel. No matter what, we’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out, together.”

That had broken open the floodgates for you. You laid your head down in his lap, suddenly thankful he’d found an opportunity to slip his boxer briefs back on, and wept. All your worry, all of the frustration you felt with yourself for not keeping your head in order and for letting this happen, all of it poured out through your tears. You still hadn’t managed to verbalise a single word to Jason, the only sounds passing your lips being small sobs and hiccupping breaths.

Jason was a steady, calming rock through the storm of your tears, carding his fingers softly through your hair with one hand while the other was splayed at the juncture of your hip and your waist, thumb rubbing soothing circles there through the soft cotton of his shirt.

“S’Okay baby, we’ll be okay” he murmured again and again. You weren’t sure whether he was trying to reassure you or himself more, but he never faltered in comforting you for a second.

Eventually your sobs quieted, a little of the panic slowly ebbing away with his steadfast reassurance. You sucked in a shaky breath, and pushed yourself upright in his lap, forcing yourself to keep your eyes open despite the way they burned.

“How are you so calm about this?” You questioned him, as he shifted both his hands to your waist, holding you upright in front of him. “I’m freaking the fuck out; in case you couldn’t tell.” You gestured to your surely bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks, trying out a forced smile which ended up looking more like a grimace.

“Because I know we’ll be alright, sweetheart.” Jason replied without hesitation. “The Plan B will do its job, and if doesn’t we’ll work out what to do next the same way we always do – as a team. All we can do now is wait and see. Worrying won’t do us any good, will it ma?”

“Figuring out what to do with an unplanned pregnancy is a little different than deciding who has to cook dinner or do the dishes though.” You huffed, the smallest smile tugging at the corner of your mouth despite yourself. His utter confidence seemed to be filtering through your subconscious, soothing your panic.

“You say that like you don’t know that I always do the dishes regardless.” Jason smirked down at you.

“You do not!” You fumed, swatting at his chest, a tiny giggle bubbling out of your chest.

“There she is.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “Now, let’s get you to bed.” He stood suddenly, hoisting you up like you were weightless, and crossing through your apartment in just a few long strides, setting you down delicately on your side of the bed like you were something precious. You caught his wrist in your hand as he tucked the covers up around your chin, stopping him.

“Seriously babe, you sure you’re okay? Not just pretending to be calm because I freaked out on you?” Your tone more serious now than before, wanting to check in on him properly after all the care he’d shown you.

“Course I am doll, you don’t need to be worrying ‘bout me right now anyway.” He soothed in the same calm tone he’d been using all night. Not even the slightest hint of panic.

Very suspicious, you thought, very… un-Jason-like.

You fixed him with your best attempt at a hard stare, but his calm demeanour still didn’t falter for a second as he stared right back. “I promise ma, I’m okay.”

Satisfied, you released his wrist and let him finish tucking you under the covers, falling asleep before his head had even hit the pillow beside you.

5 days before present day

Jason was, in fact, not okay.

He had spent the past two weeks spiralling, waiting hopefully for the moment you’d tell him your period had started and the worrying could cease. He knew that you needed him to be the one who was calm about this, the one who held it together for once so that you could be the one to fall apart.

After all the times you’d held the broken pieces of him in your hands and patiently figured out how to put him back together again, never complaining, not even once, Jason figured this was the very least he could do for you.

Anyway, if there was a chance that he was going to be a father, he needed to practice getting his shit together, he thought grimly.

So, he had been careful to keep the façade of confidence and peace any time he was around you in the intervening days. But outside of that, when you were out at work or he was on patrol, Jason was scared. No, worse, he was fucking terrified.

He’d never wanted kids. Not for a single moment, in either of his lifetimes.

Not when he was 8 years old and cleaning up his mother’s vomit after she had overdosed again for the third time that week. Not when he was 11 years old, pushing himself to survive just another day living on the streets after Catherine had died and left him without anything in the world.

Not even after Bruce had found him and taken him in, trying to give Jason some semblance of a normal life during the daylight hours, despite the decidedly not normal activities his new father figure had let him participate in once the sun went down.

Certainly, the concept of children and a future had been the furthest thing from his mind when Sheila had betrayed him, when he’d been taking a beating from Joker’s crowbar in that warehouse.

No, even if his first life hadn’t been so tragically short, nothing that Jason had been through would have made him keen to one day bring another innocent life into the world to suffer in all the same ways that he had.

And in his second life, he hadn’t really been living until he’d found you. He had been blundering his way through existence, making decisions solely based on anger and pain. He hadn’t had the time, nor the inclination, to think about a future beyond the next minute, the next hour, the next day, week, month.

He hadn’t exactly been planning to stick around – only planning to make it just long enough to break Bruce down enough that he would finally break his ridiculous no kill rule and avenge his second son’s death, or to do the job himself. It had always been the plan to follow the same path himself shortly after.

What was the point, after all, when he was all too aware of how much more peaceful death was than life?

When he was sure that he had come back wrong anyway?

After all, in those early days, that fact was the only thing Jason was sure of. He could feel it in the rage that constantly simmered just below the surface. He was a volcano, ready to explode at any moment.

He wasn’t the kid he had been before. It was like everything that had made him good has been left behind in the grave he had clawed his way out of.

Back then, Jason was certain that his second life would burn out much faster than the first had. A future, a family, hadn’t even entered his mind as a thought for a second.

And then, somewhere in the middle all of that rage and sadness and those stupid reckless decisions he just couldn’t seem to stop making, he had found you. And you had acted like an anchor, a steady weight tethering his soul back to his body, even when his mind was fractured. Even in the beginning when he had lashed out often, unable to fathom yet that you had no intention of going anywhere, no matter how many times he tried to push you away before you could decide to leave.

You were always just…there.

And somewhere along the way, you patching him up when he would climb through your apartment window at all hours of the night, you gently chastising him when he bled onto the new throw pillow you had just bought for your sofa, seemed to turn the tide inside of him. Your steady warmth and calm words had settled under his skin, his feelings for you lodging themselves somewhere unfamiliar in his chest.

Jason had fallen in love with you through a thousand tiny actions, and as he did, the shape of a future had fallen into place around him without him ever really meaning for it to happen.

But even so, that future had still never included anyone other than the two of you in his mind. In the three years since you’d dropped into his life Jason had never spoken about this with you, and you had never brought it up either. You had talked about everything else, every other big issue, every other topic that might be ‘make or break’ for a couple.

You had seen the most broken pieces of him, and you had never once shied away from them. You had looked straight at the all the very worst, grimiest parts of his soul, and instead of running away like you should have, like he’d told you to a thousand times, instead you had done the same thing you always had: you stayed and set to cleaning him up yourself.

But never, not once, had you mentioned children.

Deep down Jason was sure he already knew the reason why you had never brought it up. You knew him better than any other soul on the planet; you knew as well as he did that there was no way he would make any kind of decent father. And you were so unselfish, so good, so kind-hearted, you would never want to hurt him by telling him that. So, you just stayed quiet, he thought, to spare him the pain of being faced once again with what a failure he was.

But you on the other hand, you would make an incredible mother. Jason was certain of that fact. You were so patient, gentle, kind. Not just with him, but with everyone you met. If you wanted children, he would never deny you. He would force himself to be better, to be a good father, the same way he had rebuilt himself into a better man: for you.

But now he was actually staring down the barrel that reality, it was impossible for him to be anything besides terrified.

And because he was working so hard on being calm for you at home, that fear started to come out in other ways. On patrol, Jason was less controlled than he had been in years. Hitting harder, snapping faster. With his family, he was short-tempered, constantly picking fights.

Dick took the brunt of it, some part of Jason’s subconscious aware that no matter how hard he pushed, his older brother would always forgive him. And forgive he did, but forget he didn’t, which is how Jason ended up sat on a damp Gotham rooftop one night with his head in his hands, spilling his guts into the darkness while Dick just sat there, taking it all in.

When he was done, Jason felt lighter, though a deep-seated panic still lay below the surface. The silence stretched for a while before Dick finally spoke up.

“You ever heard of therapy?” He laughed, his tone far lighter than Jason felt was called for, given the circumstances.

“Huh?” Jason muttered in return.

“That’s what you need, brother dearest. Lots and lots of therapy. And to actually talk to that girl of yours.” Dick was still laughing, wheezing as he spoke. “I had almost this exact conversation with her just yesterday afternoon.”

“She- She talked to you about this? Why?” Jason was gobsmacked. And a little frustrated. After all he had been doing to reassure you, you chose to go to Dick to talk and not him? Did you not trust him?

Dick hummed before he replied “Not for me to say, littlewing. You’ll just have to talk to her yourself.” Another small chuckle escaped him, “I will say this though, you’re a perfect match. Both of you idiots too hard-headed for your own good.” Dick paused, looking over at Jason, who was doing his best to make it obvious that he was glaring, despite the mask that covered his face.  

“Why don’t you head home, hmm? Talk to her about this before you have a chance to build that wall back up too high?”

“Don’t have any walls with her.” Jason grumbled, though he rose to his feet anyway.

Dick only hummed again. When he opened his mouth to reply, Jason was already gone: on his way home to you.

Still 5 days before present day

You, of course, were still awake when he climbed through the window into the warmth of your shared apartment. Your nose was buried in a book, though as you heard the latch click you looked up, a blinding smile splitting your face as you saw him stripping off his jacket and thigh holsters.

Jason took his mask off last, the hiss of the mechanism deafeningly loud in the comfortable quiet of your living room, though he could hardly hear it over the thundering of his heartbeat in his ears.

“You’re home early.” Your grin grew impossibly wider when you checked the time on your phone, seeing that it wasn’t even midnight yet.

Jason took a deep breath.

“I don’t want kids.” He blurted out, knowing if he waited a second longer, he would lose his nerve all over again.

“Wha—" your grin faltered as you started to speak, but the words were flowing out of Jason in a gush now. He seemed powerless to stop them, so you let him finish.

“And I know. I know I should have told you that before now. That now is actually probably the worst time I could be telling you this, when we’re playing this waiting game and we might be looking at that as a possibility. And obviously, sweetheart, if you are pregnant, obviously I’d sort my shit out and be there for you, regardless of what you decided to do. This isn’t me trying to pressure you, but I just couldn’t not tell you any longer. I’m so, so sorry I never said anything before.”

As Jason kept rambling, unable to look anywhere but down at his boots, he suddenly became aware that you weren’t saying anything. He finally dragged his eyes up to meet yours, and found you looking at him blankly, the ghost of your previous smile still on your lips.

He crossed the room quickly, sinking to his knees in front of the armchair where you had been curled up, though your socked feet were now planted firmly on the ground, like you had been about to stand before he had looked over at you. 

Once he was in front of you, he couldn’t keep looking into your eyes, sure he wouldn’t see any of the usual warmth or love there. You should be angry at him, furious even, for putting you in this situation, and then dumping this crap on you now when it might already be too late. He opened his mouth to start another stream of apologies, but was stopped by your index finger pressing softly against his lips.

“Can I speak now? Would that be okay?” Your voice was warm, soothing, but still, he couldn’t seem to lift his eyes from your knees. He nodded, not trusting his voice not to crack if he tried to speak. This was it, the end of everything. You were kind as ever, even when preparing to deliver your death blow.

Your hand slipped from his mouth to cup around his chin, gently tipping it until he was forced to look up at you. Jason was shocked to his core when he saw the mirth in your eyes, but still he could never have prepared himself for the words that left your lips next.

“Jay, baby, I don’t want kids either.”

He couldn’t hold in the small gasp of relief, releasing the breath he had been unintentionally holding with a huff. Your tone made it clear you weren’t finished, so he didn’t interrupt.

“I never have wanted them if I’m being honest. Why do you think I was scared so shitless I had a full-on panic attack when I realised that I had practically forced you to cum inside me with no protection? I have no doubt in my mind that you’d be a wonderful father if you wanted to be, but never for a single second in my life have I wanted to be a mother.”

Your voice cracked on the last word, and tears started prick at your eyes. “I should have said something before as well, I know, but I was scared you might feel differently. I was being selfish, and if this was going to be what broke us apart, I wanted to hold on to you for as long as I could first.”

The tears were rolling down your face now, and Jason reached up to brush them away, his calloused fingertips brushing gently against your cheeks.

Suddenly, a laugh bubbled out of him, seemingly against his will. Once he started, he couldn’t stop, burying his face against your knee.

“What’s so funny?” You had just poured your heart out to him and he was laughing? You felt a rare swell of anger in your chest, tapping lightly at the top of his head when he still didn’t respond.

“Dick was right,” he managed to wheeze out, “we’re both idiots who need to talk to each other instead of running our problems past him.”

Your frustration dissipated as quickly as it had appeared, and you couldn’t help but laugh right along with him, swiping your palms against your cheeks to wipe away the last of your tears.

“We can never tell him you just said that he was right, or his ego will get so big it won’t be able to fit in the room alongside him.” You cackled.

Jason just smiled up at you from where he still rested on his knees at your feet.

Present day

The timer bleeps obnoxiously on your phone, cutting through the tension that’s built to almost unbearable levels in the past 3 minutes of waiting.

You feel like your heart might burst out of your chest if it beats any harder, and your palms are so sweaty that you nearly drop your phone as you attempt to silence the alarm. Jason’s rough palms wrap around your own, just as clammy but much steadier.

“Hey hey hey pretty girl, deep breaths.” He whispered directly into your ear.

You didn’t realise until then that you were nearly hyperventilating. You take a second to match the rhythm of your breathing to his, which you were sure he’d slowed on purpose just to help you.

“Want me to look for us” he breathed, lips still touching your ear, “or together?”

“Together” you replied, voice shaky. Jason shifted forward on the couch cushion, still holding you securely in his lap. He grabbed the wrapped pregnancy test from the table and pulled it from the torn packaging upside down. You could almost hear him counting to three in his head, and you silently counted along with him, wrapping your hands around his own.

Slowly, together, you turned the test over so the result window was facing you.

One blue line stared back at you.

Just one.

You snatched the test from Jason’s grip and were on your feet before you could contain yourself, holding it up to the light just to be sure.

“Negative! Oh my god, it’s negative!” You squealed, your knees almost buckling as a wave of relief washed through you.

Jason was on his feet too, sweeping you up and twirling you in a circle around the living room, nearly tripping over the coffee table as he did. His eyes were wet as he pressed kisses over every inch of your face that he could get to, while you just laughed.

“Lemme look, got to see it properly for myself to be sure.” He said as he finally set your feet back on the floor, gently easing the plastic from your grip.

“Of course,” you rolled your eyes, teasing him, “Red Hood can’t just trust my judgement. Got to look for himself.”

He just grinned back at you, tossing the test back onto the coffee table, seemingly satisfied that you were definitely in the clear. You beamed back at him as he leaned down to brush his lips against yours, pulling you back into an embrace.

“We should celebrate.” His voice had turned husky as he half-whispered into your ear, before dropping his lips to press kisses down the column of your neck. You let him continue for a moment, beginning to relax for the first time in weeks.

“How exactly do you propose we do that?” you tried to keep your tone light and teasing, even as desire pooled in your belly. He pulled back slightly, pretending to ponder your question.

Before he could reply, you felt a sharp stab of pain right where his hand rested at the waistband of your shorts. You couldn’t stop the way you flinched a little, nor keep your lips from twisting into a grimace. Jason noticed immediately.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

“Might have to give you a raincheck on the celebration.” You tipped your head back to look up at him, “I’m pretty sure my period just started.”

You couldn’t believe the irony. If you had just waited a few more hours, you wouldn’t have had to take a test at all. Jason looked at you for a moment in stunned silence before a loud laugh broke free from his lips.

“Couldn’t make it up, could you?” he laughed, pulling you by the hand towards the bathroom. He started drawing a bath. “You relax and I’ll run to the store again to grab you some supplies. The guy behind the counter is going to think I’m crazy, buying a pregnancy test and tampons in the same day.” He chuckled.

You grinned sheepishly back at him. “It’s a good thing you love me.”

Jason’s face grew serious at once. He pulled you closer again, his hands slightly wet from where he’d been mixing bubbles into your bath. “I do love you, angel. More than anything.” He mumbled; his lips pressed against your forehead. You melted into his hold.

“Love you too, Jay.” You murmured back after a moment. “Enough of that though, those tampons won’t buy themselves.” You laughed, swatting his thigh gently as he pulled away.

“Yes ma'am, heading to the store now.” He grinned at you, mock saluting as he stepped backwards through the doorframe, quietly shutting it behind him.

Left alone in the quiet apartment, you sank down into the hot water and lavender scented bubbles. You took a deep breath, finally feeling the weight that had been sitting on your chest dissolve.  

Jason had been right all along, everything was going to be okay.

a/n: Oh my god this seriously ran away from me!! Apparently I am incapable of long story short, and instead can only manage short story long... Pretty much this situation happened to my husband and I earlier this year and it sucked so when I started writing, it was like I just couldn't stop!!

I feel like it's important to say as well, if you're in the UK like I am, remember you can now get Plan B/the morning after pill from any pharmacy for free. And practice safe sex whenever you can!! (though sometimes life just doesn't work out that way lmao)