Bleezy Season

Age: Nearing 23

I am not active on this website anymore. I do not find enjoyment out of it. Is it because I don't want spoilers to the current show I'm behind on? Is it because life has grabbed me by my already bruised and tender balls? Is it because I've changed as a person? How about all of the above. I feel the same way about a lot of things that I used to blog about, actually. Pop-Punk, being the largest. Not the music itself, but being involved in a community that still seems to be clutched onto the fact that they are wounded individuals. Maybe that's what I see in this website. I don't mean to offend anybody. No, that's not ever what I intend. This is merely an observation, at this point, from the outside looking in. Each and everyone of you is your own individual. I cannot know you all at a personal level. (what was I talking about first?)

Oh yes, wounded individuals. Victimized husks of what was once a spry, young, and determined humanity. This website seems to feast upon those who feel powerful because they might feel weak. Wolves in feminist clothing is what I might diagnose this website as a whole. You seek power when you're already a bully. Why am I being accusatory? I'm not. I shouldn't be. Maybe what I'm saying is you shouldn't seek out and bully and find a reason to hate everything. Cynicism will only bring you down. Why am I being cynical myself? Bah. Sorry. Let me restart. I'm nearing the age of 23. I'm about to graduate college, and do great things. I've let a lot fall off my shoulders, only to let other fears, REAL fears climb on. They grip my neck, with their pitch-black claws, and with gasping breath, I continue to trudge on. These past 22 years have been... well... They've been good to me. I mean, I've felt pain, depression, psychological abuse, and various forms of bullying, but I've pulled through just fine. I'll soon have a job, I'll soon have a story to carry myself with. I've made it this far, how far can I go now? 23 and I'm an adult... I still feel like a child though.

 I won't delete this tumblr. I won't be here all to often, but I won't delete this. This has chapters of my own destruction and reconstruction. Maybe one day when this website has turned to rubble, that'll be the day that I close shop.

Can I just talk about this band for a minute?

First time I saw them was at a TSSF show. To see the hold they had on the Oklahoma scene gave me confidence that there was a willingness in music from my humble state. I recently took my girlfriend to a show of theirs and showed her one of the best nights I can remember. My social anxiety slipped from my inner workings and I enjoyed myself. This band did this for me. I hate to see them go, but I know each member is growing and has grown through this band.

Thanks guys,