sorry

Back when I worked at walgreens I didn't know witch hazel was a real thing people would come in asking for it and I'd be like yeah it's on aisle 3 next to the wolfsbane and eye of newt you fucking idiot bastard

If I didn't love you, this would be easy.

the love was sorta there and it kinda mattered

"Indeed, when he applied to become an astronaut, he failed on the first attempt. Part of the test featured the famous Rorschach ink-blots psychiatric exam. “I leafed through a whole series of them, and then the last one was a blank sheet of paper, pure white, eight by 10,” he once recalled. “I was asked what I could see. And I said, ‘Well, of course, that’s 11 polar bears fornicating in a snow bank.’ And I could see the examiner’s eyes kind of tighten. He didn’t think that was funny.”"

The examiner was, in fact, objectively incorrect.

I love the moon she's so pretty

Maybe the moon thinks that you're pretty too

yeah, maybe she does :)

This sword fight isn’t even that homoerotic dude I think I’m just gonna kill yo,u