brought to the water

i might be in denial about this but i think i’m experiencing psychosis but i don’t want to live on hospital food for two fucking weeks again it would be my third hospitalization this year

the only reason it’s a good day is because i know i can kill myself and it’ll be over soon or i can give up and live on the street and starve to death

i guess you could say that today is a good day and just because nothing sensational is happening doesn’t mean it’s not a good day. like i remember coming home from the shelter wishing i could feel boredom because i was constantly in a state of terror and debilitating fear but i guess it’s nice to be out of that

kindly, send anons. i’ve been sitting in this waiting room for 20 mins and i’m bored and my mind is racing off to ugly places