* . ∙ • ✧ * brooke vivian crowley.

WHERE: Evening | Silverwood Terrace

Brooke had an exceptional talent of being able to hide her distress — most of the time. She preferred to conceal her problems, wanting people to believe she could overcome them on her own. The world could be ending, but she could handle it. However, after a particularly volatile day on set, she’d finally reached breaking point. 

After a screaming match with her director, River had offered to drive her home. It only seemed sensible to accept and suddenly she found herself sitting on her doorstep with the renowned actor, the tears streaming down her face as she recounted the behavior she’d experienced. There had been so much she'd held in for so long, it didn't matter who it was, it was just a relief to express it all aloud. She didn’t even notice when he placed an arm around her, his fingers brushing against her skin in an attempt to soothe her. 

She was in the midst of her sadness turning to anger — cursing, screaming bloody murder — when she noticed the motion sensor light by her front gates had been activated. 

who: @slchat· where/when: funkytown thrift/anytime before the 60s night at Globos

“Oooh, what do you think of this?” Anna said as she tugged out an appropriately mod dress that had been buried in the racks at Funkytown, hiding like it had been waiting for her. “Good for the 60s? Or should I try to find something more along the hippie, flower-power vibes?”

Brooke blinked a couple of times at the dress, before her gaze shot to Anna with a look of incredulity that the actress was actually here browsing for a 60s night with her. “Funkytown is where fashion comes to die.” She said, overly dramatic. “I guess it’s fine, but at least if you went hippie, you should mix it up a bit. This just looks... boxy.”

she had no choice but to approach their door, knuckles were slippery even as they knocked on their door, “okay so hi, i know this is weird…but it’s pouring out there and my car just broke down. do you think i could come in and dry off to call triple a?” bella showed them their phone which was also damaged due to the pouring rain, “look check it for yourself, totally broken. i have a bottle of wine in the car i could crack open to repay my gratitude!”

@slchat·

Brooke wasn’t really in the mood for company, but witnessing the drenched woman she decided to be charitable. After all, it wasn’t as though she didn’t know who Bella was. “Fine, get the wine.” There was a sudden smile. “Hey, that rhymed.” She said, a little too pleased with herself. “But you’re getting out of those wet clothes. I don’t need my house smelling like wet dog. You can borrow something of mine.”

Axel: So I need your help.

Axel: Hear me out on this.

Axel: I need a car. I can either rent it or get a cheap old one which can be worked on.

Axel: But since I am new in town I have no idea where the nearest car lot is and google is only coming up with Lamborghini showrooms

Axel: Help.

Brooke: Duh, get a Lamborghini.

Brooke: How else are you going to pick up hotties?

Bowie: wtf, why was he having a go @ u?

Bowie: nah far from it honestly

Bowie: dudes got a whole list of shitty things he's done that added to this break up

Bowie: i don't think it was any 1 thing if u feel me

Brooke: bc I made a comment about the way ur dad looks at me

Brooke: sorry, that's probably not what u wanna hear dude

Brooke: I believe that tbh

Jimmy let out a breath through his nose and shifted in his chair. Are you saying if you had the chance you wouldn’t take it?

“I’m not saying if I was years younger then maybe I’d consider it, but we have a professional relationship. I’m just… I’m still in disbelief that you would say something like that.” He sighed again, sitting back and running a hand over his head. 

“Okay. It’s– It’s fine, it’s not the end of the world. You weren’t to know that our relationship was going to end. Just maybe think next time you say something like that to a pregnant woman?” 

Jimmy fell silent for a long pause. 

“How’s your movie filming going?”

Brooke similarly ran a hand through her hair, her eyes briefly closing as she replayed the scene with Holland in her mind. It was unnecessary and she knew that, even if she hadn’t processed that entirely at the time. 

“I know, I know. It wasn’t about you.” She repeated. “I was just, I don’t know... Holly’s like... pretty and smart, and mature, and...” Not some puerile diva actress. “I don’t know. Sometimes I get intimidated.” Did she really just open up to Jimmy Shore? “I’m just... extremely good at hiding it.” She paused, her shoulder shrugging. 

Her expression changed when he basically pardoned her behavior, her eyebrows knitting together and her lips inadvertently frowning. She had expected him to drop her as a client, curse her, punish her someway. However, it was a relief that she didn’t have to worry about her career on her own, or her relationship with Jimmy overall.

When he mentioned her film, she shifted in her seat while her eyes couldn’t focus on a place to settle. “It’s...” Horrible, I hate it, she thought. Not necessarily the film itself, that she loved, but the misogynistic director and her narcissistic costars were a different story. “...fine.” She settled on, not wanting to seem as though she couldn’t handle it. She could, and she would if it would get her away from her usual typecast roles. “It’s really good, I can’t wait to get back to it.”

*

That was a good point, Holly realised, their expression becoming thoughtful as Brooke spoke. It wasn’t something they’d thought about before, but now… Still, they allowed a light chuckle to escape them at her following words. “You know what? I think we probably would,” they responded. “No stopping us.”

As Brooke tucked into her ice-cream, they contemplated the question that followed. They supposed they had gone a little overboard with that statement. “No one in particular,” they answered. “Just… life.” They’d certainly come across their fair share of assholes over the years. As her reaction to their brother comment, they had to laugh, shaking their head. “Well, I’m one of six, so I’m kind of used to it now,” they informed her with a bemused smile. It had been chaos growing up, even now, but they wouldn’t be without their siblings. Brooke’s sudden question caught them completely off-guard, though. “Uh, a long time ago… so long ago I barely even remember it.” The invite came as a surprise, but they found themselves warming to the other woman with her words. “I don’t have anything else on, so that is tempting.”

Brooke gave a comprehensive nod. Even without the bounds of her career, she’d always been subjected to some sort of excruciating discomfort when it came to the male variety. Unfortunately, there seemed to be something about her persona that attracted the unnecessary trouble. “No, I get that.” She replied, before her tongue gathered the remains of her cookie dough pleasure that lay dormant on her spoon. “Sometimes you don’t even realize that you’ve been hurt until days, months... even years later. Right?” There was some weight behind her words. It was a sad realization to have, but one that she’d had to come to terms with over and over again. 

It suddenly dawned on her that perhaps her sudden ‘over friendly’ attitude may have caused a bit of apprehension, maybe been too much for someone she barely knew. “You don’t have to go,” she added, trying to relieve any pressure. “Don’t feel like you have to or anything. I just...” There was a short sigh before she shrugged, while her head reminded her of all the problems she faced presently. “I just fancied escaping for awhile with someone...” Who used to date her boyfriend? “...New. But I get it if it’s weird, or whatever.”

“Really,” Nic responded on a frustrated exhale. “Was the first time I’ve had any real conflict with him. I don’t know what the f–” He shook his head, pushing down the swirling thoughts that had resurfaced. A practiced sort of indifference, a way to remove himself from situations the moment they went south. Whether ending his connection with Matt on good terms or bad, Nic would be on the other side of the continent in mere months. All temporary, of no consequence. Or so he told himself. “If he figures out what his problem is, he can let me know. I’m not going to do the work for him.”

He hesitated in the doorway for a moment, all at once aware of the state of the apartment. Walls bare, furniture minimal, lights dim, curtains cheap. Not a place he spent much time in, or invited people to visit. Especially not an actress who he figured would look down on the dingy place. He cleared his throat. “Suit yourself,” he said finally, grabbing a few scattered chip bags off the floor and tossing them in the bin as he headed back into the living room. “Can I offer you…” He paused, scanning a rather empty kitchen. “Tea? Bag of popcorn?”

“I know he’s really stressed at the moment,” she shrugged while realizing that if she spoke defensively about Matt, it perhaps wouldn’t bode well for the civility she now shared with his former friend. “Although I guess that doesn’t excuse his behavior.” Her statement came flat. It did, to an extent. “Sometimes I think he believes I’m just immature, and I don’t blame him at times — but there’s more to me than that.” She continued, although her declaration of character had also been directed towards Nic. After all, she knew that she hadn’t exactly been anything but juvenile when it came to their interactions. “But I’m sure he knows that,” she corrected with a perfunctory sigh. “I’m sure he knows that you’re a good friend too. From what I’ve gathered anyway. Why don't you guys just have a beer and hash it out?”

She noticed his hesitation and half expected to be turned away, but was admittedly surprised when she’d been allowed entry. There was a slight delay on her end too, as she wondered whether Matt would see her being here as some sort of betrayal. However, they were best friends. In her eyes, it was inevitable that they’d eventually reunite. Stepping inside, she took a moment to glance around at his furnishings, her nose crinkling at his plain decor. “Your place. It’s... small.” She said, in a forcibly cheery voice. “Minimalist. Very...” Motel looking. “...quaint. I like it.” An obvious lie, but she wasn't here to berate his lack of interior design. “I’ll take a water if that’s cool. Aquafina, if you have it.”

*

Holly tilted their head slightly as Brooke spoke, teeth worrying at their lower lip for a moment. She wasn’t wrong, of course. It was nice to try and think positively, but the human race had been tearing one another to shreds since the dawn of time and no, it wasn’t about to change any time soon. “Yeah, I think I have to agree… as sad as that is,” they answered. They still had hope for certain parts of it, at the very least. You had to or else you’d go crazy. Moments later, they nodded their head, a gentle chuckle escaping them. “Maybe we can!” they said, a little too enthusiastically.

Preparing Brooke’s request, they handed it over after a minute before settling back on their seat —- at this time of day it was rarely quiet, you didn’t exactly get a last minute rush for ice-cream. “Maybe do both,” they pondered, glancing to the window. “I think he deserves it. Most of them do at some point in their lives.” They’d certainly come across a multitude of reasons during their time on this earth. “Around half an hour or so…” They flashed her a smile, appreciative of what she was offering. “You don’t need to hang around, though, if you have somewhere to be. I can call my brother.”

“The human face, after all, is nothing more nor less a mask.” Brooke recited dramatically as her eyes drifted around the vicinity once more. Living in Silver Lake since her birth did not take away the fear of the streets and those who inhabited them. She could even say that it only fueled her hesitation to turn certain corners or wander down a stray alley, because she couldn’t hide behind the naivety of how LA had been portrayed through various media. She knew the truth, and sometimes it became a substantial weight to bare. “I think we’d rule the yard, everyone would be scared of us.” She laughed, finding herself enjoying their united front.

Retrieving the order and a utensil, she thanked them and mirrored their actions, sitting comfortably back into her seat. Pressing the plastic spoon into the first scoop and obtaining a hefty amount, she brought the ice-cream to her lips. Holly had a point, there were many people that she believed deserved the terrible punishments that she had earlier suggested. “Who hurt you?” She said teasingly, as her features scrunched up momentarily as a result of the cold temperature of the ice-cream. As they mentioned a brother, she shook her head. “Ew no. Brothers are boring. Thankfully I’m an only child.” She stated childishly, with already another scoop entering her mouth. “ Hey, you ever seen Almost Famous? They’re showing it tonight at Paradiso, apparently there’s beer and pizza too.” And another. “We should go. Billy Crudup is a dreamboat.” She suggested, forgetting that she'd only conversed with this person today and probably came off, if anything, too strong. Ice-cream really had a way about bringing out the 'over friendly' Brooke.

Bowie: 🤦🏼‍♂️😂

Bowie: guess he told u ab the break up then

Bowie: damn he moves fast with his woes

Brooke: oh yeah he did

Brooke: while he was having ago at me lmao

Brooke: pls tell me I'm not the only reason holly decided to sack off old man smithers

“Do you really?” Matt found it hard to believe, if it wasn’t for this conversation, he would never find out about the fact she felt like she had to maintain an image. To some extent, he understood, actors did that all the time, they acted different around different people, they adapted but he didn’t want her to pretend, not at all. “You don’t need to do.” He reminded her, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“That’s not an answer.” He asked why because he genuinely wanted to understand her thought process but they both were angry, even if she gave him a solid reason, Matt wouldn’t be able to sympathize. Pressing his lips together, he looked at his watch, then his gaze shifted to Brooke. “I think it would be better if you left now.” He said, tone direct and sharp.

There was a moment of silence where Brooke took the absence of sound to observe the man she loved with weary eyes. It had become an exhaustion mentally to express herself to someone in this, a dreadful atmosphere. It should have been a relief to hear that she didn’t need to hide behind a facade or some polished image — and it was, but she was already overcome with over emotions to fixate primarily on that right now. “I do,” she replied. “I’ve just never opened up to anyone before, ever. I want to do that with you, just... not like this.” Not when they acted as though were gunning for each other in something blown out of proportion. 

“You’re actually right about that.” She exhaled deeply as he suggested her departure, and for the first time since their argument had began, she agreed completely. However, she hated leaving on a sour note, being one of those people that would replay every small detail and subsequently struggling to sleep as a result. As an attempt to save herself that later turmoil, she nodded and closed the space between them, placing a small peck to his cheek. Peering into his eyes, she fought back the urge to embrace him, or scream at him, or burst into a stream of tears. “You’re going to do great, Matt. Stop stressing.” It was a safe line, she thought, and truthful. And with that, she turned to leave.

So Matt and Brooke were fighting again. Shocking. But this time, the other side of the story was standing on his doorstep, looking a little uncertain under the protective layer of barbed wire. This time, his perspective regarding Matt was a whole lot less charitable than usual. He hadn’t expected to have much of anything in common with Brooke, but it looked like Matt had managed to alienate them both at the same time. Not exactly the beginning of a beautiful friendship, but a small, nearly imperceptible shift in NIc’s demeanor. 

“He was an asshole about something that was important to me.” Maybe one day he’d regret venting to his best friend’s girlfriend, but London was an escape hatch on the horizon and the brakes were off. “When people know you well, they can really cut to the core of you. Impossible to shrug it off. It’s got weight.” He exhaled, irritation from his last conversation with Matt resurfacing. “But I’m sure he doesn’t give a shit. He thinks he knows everything. It’s more important to be right than to be my fucking friend.”

Despite their argument, she found it difficult to paint Matthew as the villain. Although, she didn’t see much fault in her actions before he’d decided to begin his rebuked assessment of her behaviors. But hearing that he’d happened to frustrate and anger his best friend was something that Brooke became surprised about — but also, selfishly, took comfort in knowing that his new attitude wasn’t completely directed solely at her. “Really? That doesn’t sound like him.” However, she internally cursed herself for still defending his character.

It was a miracle that Brooke and Nic were even standing in front of each other without wielding weapons of hatred and disdain for one another, therefore she took this into consideration and chose not to pry into the details of exactly what Matt had done. Even if this information would be a continuous pinprick into her curiosity. “Well, I can agree with you there. I don’t understand him right now at all, I thought he was just mad at me, but if he’s ripping into his friends — that is something else.” Who’d have thought that the only relatable moment she’d share with Nic was at her boyfriend’s expense. “Honestly, I feel like I’ve just spent an afternoon being criticized all because I wanted to see my boyfriend.” There was a sigh, as her eyes traveled in every direction before inevitably landing upon him. “Can I come in?” She said, rather sheepishly. 

Brooke: Sorry about your stepmom, BowWow.

Arms crossed together again, Matt listened to Brooke without any interruption, waited for her to finish before saying something. Granted he probably wouldn’t remember every detail because he was extremely angry. “And you weren’t going to tell me any of this? I don’t get it. If you don’t want me to get to know you, then why the fuck are we together? You just have this fantasy of a relationship in your head and you expect us to be happy-go-lucky all the time.” He shook his head. “That’s not a real relationship, Brooke. That’s a fantasy.” Matt said sharply, hands rested against his hips.

“I am not gonna be sorry for loving what I do.” She had a point though, he definitely thought he was better than some people and he definitely looked down on them. However, Brooke’s criticism was very unlikely to change his mind, he would still despise any actor who was in this business for the fame. 

His eyes widened in both shock and confusion as she continued, his mind couldn’t comprehend why Brooke would mention Halloween to Holland. “Why?” He voiced his voice again. “Why the hell did you say that to her? I want to know.” He couldn’t think of a reason. “It sounds like you weren’t defending me, you were just showing off. And that proves my point once again. You act like a child.” He scoffed, shaking his head fast. “Wow… Thank you for giving me permission to be mad at your ridiculous behavior. I truly appreciate it.”

Brooke was disappointed at his reaction. She expected more, perhaps a little understanding — whether it was just the anger clouding his compassion right now, she wasn’t sure. Her eyes found an object to focus on as she listened to him, trying to distract herself from heightening her own emotions into something he could use to berate her even more. “I want you to get to know me,” she said, rather stiffly. “But I’m embarrassed about how I let people treat me in the past. I wanted you to think I was stronger than that.” It was the truth and it was evident by the slip in her voice that it was hard for her to admit. “Sorry, this is my first relationship, I’m still getting used to not living in my fantasy world.” But he already knew that.

“I’m not saying don’t do what you love. I’m saying don’t judge people because they don’t take their own passions so seriously.” Her head shook, as her pacing finally came to a halt. Everything she’d said suddenly became twisted through his anger, and despite what she’d originally thought, she wasn’t certain that she’d be able get through to the Matthew beneath his rage.

Brooke decided to just stand there and allow him to continue scolding her, treating her as though she were, in fact, a child. When he’d finally finished, she parted her lips and drew a sigh, instead of some defensive response that he’d refute instantly. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “There’s nothing else I can say, but I’m sorry. I’m not fighting with you over this, you’re not going to believe me anyway. You already don’t.”

“Probably not, honestly. It’s all I’ve ever done and ever want to be.”

“Not failed, and wow someone really wants us to break up. How about you stop being bitter, jealous, or whatever you’re going through, and leave us to it.”