I enjoy writing...sometimes without music.

I love when God brings those “Aha” moments where the stories in the Bible suddenly become so relatable and powerful. When we realize that these “stories and ideas” were actually real people that felt and experienced countless undocumented details and emotions within every historical example. The moments when we put skin and bone to a simple sentence in the Bible that represented years of intricate and complicated interactions.

I had one of those moments the other day while thinking about the story of David. Most people know him as the musician shepherd boy that famously defeated the giant-sized, make-an-entire-army-wet-their-chainmail, soldier named Goliath.

Here’s how it went down... Essentially it was Justin Bieber vs. “The Rock”. Two armies, the Israelites and the Philistines, were supposed to send their best fighter out to settle the matter with less blood. The problem was, NONE of the Israelites wanted to smell what The Rock was cookin’...because this guy was massive. In strolls Justin, delivering lunch to the real soldiers, when he realizes they’re all paralyzed in fear. The confident Biebs called the rest of the army a bunch of babies, then grabbed his slingshot and strutted out on the battlefield while humming “Despacito”. With one sniper sling between the eyes, Dwayne fell to the ground with a rock wedged in his skull. Both armies stood with their jaws on the floor. Then a deep voice yelled out from the crowd, “Finnnish himmm!” So the slender little guy walks up to the invincible battle machine and lobs his head off. I don’t care who you are...that’s badass.

Sounds like a cool movie, but not very realistic...how can I possibly apply that to my life? As I was reading the details leading up to this event, one quick passage (that could easily be missed) changed everything for me.

34 But David persisted. “I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats,” he said. “When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, 35 I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death. 36 I have done this to both lions and bears, and I’ll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, for he has defied the armies of the living God! - 1 Samuel 17:34-36 (NLT)

Wait a minute...what? When a LION or a BEAR comes to steal a lamb from the flock, this kid goes after it, grabs it by the jaw and clubs it to death?? Are you freaking kidding me? He didn’t have a high powered rifle...not even a sword? That’s insane!!

Yet even that experience wasn’t the result of just one moment, perfectly blended with luck and bravery. I couldn’t help but think of those moments that David experienced leading up to the lion victories...put myself in his shoes. Imagine the first time he heard a startling noise and looked up to see a LION lunging at his sheep. Absolutely terror. His heart racing. “What if that thing sees me?? I can’t believe this is happening! Oh Lord, keep me safe! Am I going to die today? Ok, breathe. What if it kills the whole flock? If I somehow survive, am I going to lose my job and all respect? Oh God, what do I do! Help!!”

How many times did he think God had abandoned him and his life would be over? How many times was he paralyzed with fear during an attack? How many sheep were stolen before he chose to be brave and try fighting back? How many deep bite and scratch wounds did he take along the way? How many weeks of healing? How many swings of that club? How many stones did he fire with his sling shot to get THAT good? How many times did he miss?

Years of work. Years of fear. Countless mistakes. Scars and pain. Doubt and uncertainty. Belittling comments and disrespect.

I think I’m starting to understand what it really took for David to defeat a giant and become a king...so much more than a few impressive sentences.

Pain. Perseverance. Grit. Discipline. Bravery. Humility. Trust. Patience.

He faced the same emotions I have...he battled the everyday struggles and the overwhelming attacks, yet God used him to accomplish history-changing things. He became a king. He’s remembered and described as “a man after God’s heart”. It’s so fascinating and inspiring to me.

So what can I learn? Whether we’re “tending the flock” in our mundane jobs or facing giants on behalf of an entire nation, character matters most. We will experience attacks and pain at every stage, but what we do in those moments will determine the impact of our lives. What we choose to do every day in the pastures will prepare us for the battlefield.

Maybe you feel like what you’re doing is boring and doesn’t matter...pick up a slingshot and start practicing. This could be a season where God wants to train you for the next step. Know you’re not alone and your character is never wasted.

Or maybe what you’re going through right now feels like the claws of a lion or the teeth of a bear. Lean into God and fight through the fear...you will make it out the other side! You’ll see that it was all training for even bigger victories in the future. Keep fighting.

2016 was the best year I’ve had yet.

I’m not saying that to make anyone else feel bad about their problems. And I’m most certainly not saying that because I had zero struggles or hardships this past year. It was incredibly difficult at times. I’ve had friends and family members commit suicide or pass away suddenly. I’ve had friends stab me in the back. I’ve felt relational pain and moments where I thought recovery was hopeless. I’ve felt exhausted and taken-advantage of. I’ve had huge financial setbacks and surprises. I’ve been sick more than usual. I’ve doubted, stressed, hurt, and stretched.

As a pleaser, I usually just dismiss my pain and remind myself of all the people who have things far worse. I don’t want to do that...even as a pastor and caregiver, my feelings do matter too. But what I DON’T want to do is allow the Enemy to cloud my vision so that my focus is on the pain, negativity, or attacks.

Pain has a way of driving our focus inward. It’s our nature. It’s animalistic survival...if you’re in danger, you protect yourself. If we’re hurting, we either wear it on our forehead for the whole world to see (and hope someone cares), or we retreat behind our walls, shut everyone out and  tend to our wounds. But it’s amazing how this blinding self focus always leads to isolation, broken relationships, and even more pain. We’ve all been there. It’s an awful feeling and sometimes we don’t even know how we got there.

But is there a power capable of breaking us free from the downward spiral of self-focus and victimization? Why, yes...I’m glad you asked.

Love.

A father and his child get into a terrible car accident. After rolling multiple times, the father was thrown from the vehicle. With multiple broken bones and bleeding from his forehead...disoriented and in pain, his first instinct is to find his daughter. Hearing her screaming from inside the battered vehicle, he notices that it begins to catch fire. Now do you think ANY father would say, “Eh. My arm is broken and killing me right now...I think I have a few cracked ribs and my head needs stitches. I really don’t want to risk getting burned by that fire and maybe she can unbuckle her own car seat, open the door, and come down to me.” Absolutely not!! Because he loves her so much, it pushes him past the instincts to stay safe or protect his own wounds. Then that selfless act of love actually ended up making him feel so much MORE fulfilled and at peace than he would’ve if he ignored the cries.

Although it’s natural to focus on ourselves, also wired into us through God’s image is the ultimate desire to love and be loved. Deep down, this need will trump every other. (I’m sorry for using an offensive word after the election...let’s stay focused) But it’s absolutely true. It’s no wonder that this tug-of-war battle between [God’s plan for us to selflessly love one another]...and [our innate fear to protect ourselves] is such an exhausting task! Yet while we’re stuck on this earth wearing the heavy armor of broken flesh, we must continue to fight on.

“Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life.” - Romans 8:6

When get consumed with ourselves (our own desires, needs, pains), we actually wind up in a dead end. Yet when we focus on God, even through the pain, He leads us into a spacious FREE life. It’s amazing how many people think following Him is oppressive and constraining. I’ve chased my own desires for a long time or focused on my own problems, yet somehow in the not-often-enough moments when I choose to seek God in it, I feel more free than ever. More peace. More joy. More fulfillment.

I’m not saying at times we can’t ask for help or heal from very real damages. We all experience very real pain and it does need care. But what I AM saying is that during these times, we have to do it together. We have to lean on God in our messes. We can’t ever completely raise the white flag of “victim time” and refuse to still care about others around us. We can’t afford to miss out on the blessings and encouragements God has for us when He says, “I know you’re hurting...but I still want to use you. Don’t worry, I’ll give you the strength.”

Earlier this year, my younger sister Chelsea’s husband committed suicide. It was by far the most traumatic and painful thing my family has ever walked through. As we rallied behind her to help heal in this excruciating season, it was incredibly difficult to understand how someone could experience what she did and come out the other side.

But you know what makes me the absolute proudest brother in the whole world...what brings me to tears every time I hear about a new example? Even though she is nowhere near healed up (I don’t know if someone ever fully does from something like that), Chelsea has already impacted the lives of other people who are going through the same struggles of depression and hopelessness. She has already literally saved someone’s life in a time of crisis through her choice to love, even in her pain.

Isn’t that exactly what Jesus did for us? He chose to step into torture, unimaginable pain, and death. He could’ve pulled the plug any moment He wanted to...could’ve aborted the mission, killed his accusers, and healed Himself. Yet He chose to push through His pain because LOVE was more important. Paying our price was more important.

2016 had a lot of hardships, but what I didn’t list were all the GOOD things that I have to be grateful for. I have been more blessed than I ever have been. I have loving people around me, amazing opportunities, continued growth, experienced peoples’ lives being made new, and had greater intimacy in all my relationships. I’ve seen how God will always provide and He’ll always be with me. More examples...one after the other. (Because I’m a stupid human and need to be constantly reminded)

Going into 2017, I have all the confidence in the world that this year will be my greatest yet. There are so many exciting things on the horizon and I can’t wait to see where God takes me and how He uses me. I’m assured that He will work ALL things for good for those who love Him. (Rom. 8:28) We can stand firm on that.

I invite you to join me in a positive attitude and ambitious spirit as we together roll into the new year. We’re in this together. Let’s let our love be our focus.

Is anyone else super excited for this election to be over?

Now that’s one thing we can ALL agree on! I’ve been very intentional not to get sucked into all the inevitable emotions and opinions being vomited back and forth on every news feed, channel, or nearby conversation. Do I have thoughts, passions, and opinions? Absolutely. I care about the future of our country and the potential differences that would ensue from either candidate taking office for the next 4-8 years. Am I worried about the outcome?

Not one bit.  

First of all, what does worrying accomplish? I’d say nothing, but that’s not true. Worrying accomplishes the sacrifice of your peace. So congratulations! You’re wasting energy moving in the opposite direction of a solution! So, stop it. *hits nose with rolled newspaper* Now that your fear is gone, I’ll continue.

I think one of the most frustrating parts of an election (for me) is how it has so effectively divided our people. Not only has it divided our citizens, but it’s divided some of us that call ourselves Christ followers. It has caused some Christians to emotionally project beliefs that do not align with the character and teachings of Jesus. This has been another prime season to misrepresent the message we say we believe. “There ya go! More Christians being hypocritical and contradicting themselves again!”

You see, when someone so passionately fights for one candidate or stance on an issue, they inevitably are choosing to neglect (or lessen) the severity of another “sin”. Because of our past, our experiences, and our priorities, we innately choose which issues are most important to us and which we don’t care much about. If you’re fighting for Donald Trump, you have to overlook his offensive comments and reactive communication, disrespectful behavior, arrogance, and more. If you’re fighting for Hillary, you have to overlook the lying under oath, financial corruption, and support of abortion at any trimester. You hear a lot of talk about voting for the “lesser of two evils”, but is that biblical? Or does any sin disqualify us in God’s eyes and we’re all in need of the same grace? I guess that doesn’t count during election time. (There were probably asterisks in the original copies of the the Bible)

Or maybe you’re not just overlooking, but you’re straight up attacking the opponent. Yet to barrage them for their flaws, unfortunately you have to overlook your own. Ouch. (John 8:7) When you step back and acknowledge that both have major flaws, their supporters have flaws, YOU have flaws...it’s far easier depersonalize the emotion and drop your weapons.

America will win if we can learn to show love and respect to one another (in our actions and our communication) regardless of our differences. Love and respect is ALWAYS the answer. Division and attack is NEVER the answer.

I’ve heard a lot of Christians communicating through fear of what will become of our country and our churches. Guess what? I’m still not worried. I understand that our circumstances and our culture can change...many of those changes may not be good ones. I get it. But even with negative cultural changes, people can then be more quickly forced into situations where they realize their need for God. Eternal win! For all the old-school conservative Christians that think Jesus is a Republican and a democrat in office will collapse our country through his/her anti-Christ leadership...just stop. We’ve had a democrat in office for the past 8 years and although some of the cultural changes have definitely drifted away from Christian morality, what has happened with the Church? It’s alive and well! There are incredible churches all over our country that are bursting at the seams and seeing Jesus transform lives.

Listen. Regardless of what happens today, our country will change. Our culture will change. Our nation will not last forever. But Jesus will remain. We can rest assured that we have a Savior...and it’s not the president of the United States. We have a God who loves us and knows the plans He has for us...not to harm us, but to give a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Today, get out and vote. Educate yourself on the stances and issues on how each candidate could benefit our country’s culture and economy. Be who you are and stand up for issues that matter to you most, acknowledging that flaws will come with that candidate. Don’t be afraid of the future. Trust God. And above all, love and respect each other in the process. Your opinions are not worth ruining an opportunity to show someone the love of Jesus.

iso·la·tion  noun\ˌī-sə-ˈlā-shən alsoˌi-\

: the state of being in a place or situation that is separate from others : the condition of being isolated

: the act of separating something from other things : the act of isolating something

  Even the word itself carries a certain weight, doesn’t it?

The weight of our past experiences, our present circumstances…all affect our relationship to this word. Some people might be terrified by the concept of isolation. Some find comfort and safety in it. An inevitable lifetime of complex events and repressed pain will drive all of us in one direction or the other…whether we know it or not. This word has been on my heart lately as I’ve seen both the beneficial and destructive sides of it’s powerful effect on our lives.

To give you a little perspective on my relationship with isolation, I’m a “pleaser” or a “responder.” (If you’ve ever gone through the studies on love styles or life languages, you’ll know more of what I mean.) In a nutshell, I don’t enjoy being isolated from relationship with people. I naturally desire connection, approval, happiness, and comfort with the people around me. If someone is upset with me, I hate it. If I have intimate relationship with someone and they begin to feel distant, I hate it. (If you don’t believe me, you can ask my girlfriend, Melanie!)

However, I spend so much time interacting with people, I absolutely LOVE my alone time. When I lived in Nashville, I’d drive home to PA (instead of fly) to save money. Thirteen hours in a car by myself. People would always ask how the heck I did it… “That sounds terrible! Don’t you get insanely bored??” But the thing was, I looked forward to these drives. I had zero obligations or to-do lists. I’d spend the whole day alone watching the sun rise and set, singing, praying, and thinking. Some of the most powerful times in my life happened while trying to see Rt.81 through tears of vulnerable prayer and worship. All thanks to some time of isolation in that two-door Chevy Cavalier.

But if isolation can be both a good thing and a bad thing, that means there has to be a healthy way to operate and an unhealthy way. If we ignore it, our sinful “nature+nurture” will absolutely sweep us away into an unhealthy operation…whether we gravitate toward too much isolation or we’re terrified of it.

So let’s talk about how the Bible encourages healthy isolation.

We were created for relationship with God. Not just as acquaintances, but intimately. In Matthew 6, Jesus teaches us how to pray…and ironically He recommends some isolation. Now He was speaking contextually to the “religious” behaviors of doing certain things intentionally for others to see. People would give to the poor and pray publicly so that everyone would see their “good deeds” and give them praise. Is it genuine love or intimacy if you’re only doing something to receive praise in the end? Nope. Jesus shows that prayer and intimacy with the Father is better done in private to make sure you aren’t doing it for your own glory.

5 “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get.6But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. (Matthew 6:5-6 NLT)

Even more than verbal instruction, Jesus taught us about healthy isolation and prayer through his actions.

“15 Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. 16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:15-16 NIV)

“35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35 NIV)

Now this doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t pray with others. There is plenty of Scripture to support prayer in numbers… (19 “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” -Matthew 18:19-20 NLT)

But either way, we can agree that Jesus does teach the value of solitude and prayer. The key factor in that is prayer…communication and relation to God in those moments of seclusion. So healthy isolation isn’t actually isolation at all...it’s actually just a break from interaction with people so that we can find intimacy with the Father.

Just practically speaking, with all the distractions of our lives…people, social media, technology…we absolutely NEED time of healthy seclusion. Sometimes you need to step back so you can get your emotions/flesh under control. From personal experience, I’ve found that some of the most focused and powerful times of processing and prayer have been in solitude. Whether it be in my car or in my knees in my bedroom, these are the places that I feel His presence the most. This is where I find the most rest. I can’t survive healthily without these times to worship, process, recharge, and refocus.

The beauty of the veil being torn when Jesus died is that we can now have direct access to God whenever we want. No longer do we need a priest/religious leader to act as our phone operator. We don’t need to be “ceremonially clean.” We can come to Him in our most raw and vulnerable words or thoughts. How awesome is that??

However, when I’m struggling and seclude myself without prayer, it ends up being extensive over-analyzation, recycled emotions, and anxiety. So lets chat about some of the dangers of isolation…

This is huge. I really need you to focus with me for a minute because this is where the Enemy has the ability to absolutely tear your life apart. I’ve seen it happen in my life and I see it happen in the lives of people I love…and it breaks my heart.

See, the Enemy hunts like a lion. He prowls in the dark…stays low where you can’t see him. Then in a moment of weakness, he attacks. Amidst the fear and confusion, he drives you away from the herd. He twists and manipulates you toward selfishness, making you believe that you can do it better on your own. That you have to do it on your own.  “You don’t need the herd…they are imperfect and have hurt you before. Look out for yourself. Life is better in YOUR control, so do it on your own.” Lies, pain, bitterness, complacency, self-justification, and hopelessness. As you run and tire, it’s there that he easily sinks his teeth into the back of your neck.

I realize this is an animalistic and bloody analogy, but it’s actually quite accurate. “Ok, Brooke. I get your adorable analogy…but I’m not a freakin gazelle. What does that process actually look like?” Well I’m glad you asked!  Unhealthy isolation is any action that pulls you away from relationship and ISN’T fueled by love. If you are cutting somebody off or simply ignoring communication because of resentment or bitterness…that’s unhealthy. If you are medicating deeper issues with the “safety” of seclusion, that’s unhealthy.

You will inevitably struggle and be hurt in any relationship, community, family, or church you place yourself in. We are all imperfect people. The process of growth and sanctification means sometimes we fail by acting out of our past hurts and weaknesses. But regardless of the difficulty, we were designed to function and survivebest through relationship and growth together. There will be unhealthy moments, but if we allow the Enemy to isolate and divide us, unhealthy can turn into death. Maybe not literal death…but it could be. Maybe it’s just death of relationships. Death of family. Death of hope. Death of fruit in our lives. Death of joy. Death of peace. Death of your dreams or your future.

Maybe some of this is striking a chord in your heart. Maybe you’re thinking, “Whoa…that’s totally what I’m going through.” Or maybe you’re thinking, “Well that’s not me…sure, I’ve lost most relationships in my life, but they are the problem. I didn’t need them anyway and can do life better on my own.” In an honest moment, deep down you feel the sharp teeth tug your flesh from bone. The pain is real. You’re merely doing your best by coping and medicating in any way you can. Alcohol, weed, (any drug), music, surface level attention, meaningless sex/porn, distractions.

The beauty of Jesus is that He makes all things new. He can do ALL things. He can restore relationships. He can rewire your brain chemistry. Even if you’ve already been devoured and you feel like merely bones left. God can wrap new muscles and tendons around a whole army of dry bones, then breathe life back into them (Ezekiel 37) …He can absolutely make YOU new again. All it takes is a repentant heart that asks Him to do it…and He will. You wouldn’t believe the life transformation that I’ve seen in people and experienced for myself.

So make the decision to take a stand against unhealthy isolation and press into healthy relationship. We were designed for intimacy, relationship, and community through the ability of Jesus to heal and restore. It may take some serious humility, some genuine apology, some patience for peoples’ weaknesses, some struggles, and some effort. It will most definitely require the discomfort of change. On the other side is life abundant…what’s BEST for you. So much better than the life you lead right now. It’s there that you will thrive and grow as you walk in your purpose. Nobody wants to be blind, but if you isolate into darkness or live with your eyes closed, it has the exact same effect. The light may hurt your eyes at first, but color and beauty is so worth it.

Amidst all the devastating things that happen in this world, I hear a lot of tough questions about where God fits into all of it. Questions I’ve asked myself, asked God, and tried to rationalize over the years. A lot of things just don’t have simple answers that will instantly make everyone feel better...especially the people who have suffered directly from such things.  

  Innocent people are murdered. Children die of starvation. Little girls are sold into sex trafficking. People are beaten and abused. Terrorists attack. Natural disasters claim countless lives. Corrupt leaders rise to power. How could a loving God allow any of those things to happen? How could God take someone at such a young age? Why do bad things happen to “good” people? Life isn’t fair...what’s the point of it all? I’m barely scratching the surface of the difficult questions that we’ve all asked. The questions become even louder after experiencing tragedy in our own lives or merely searching for truth.

  The reality is, we live in a very broken world.  Turn on the news, scroll through your facebook feed, or simply think about the relationships with your friends and family over the years. You don’t need to look far to understand that inarguable, yet painful reality.

  But instead of surrendering to inevitable brokenness, I want to challenge some of the phrases or thought patterns that have built fortified walls between the pain we feel and healing we desperately need. These walls, built with a foundation of lies, keep people trapped...starving many into hopeless complacency. The only thing worse than believing a lie is having no desire left for the truth.

  I think some people who ask these tough questions are humbly searching for truth about God. They want to know more about His character and better understand the purpose of life. While others may be asking them from a place of justifying a pre-existing bitterness towards God. The questions aren’t actually asking for answers...or they aren’t questions at all. They might become confident statements of cynicism, all based on a compelling Netflix documentary.

  Will you get vulnerable with me for a minute? I’m all about conversations of substance. I’m in no way interested in perpetuating arguments or pain. But I love digging to the heart of issues and graciously discussing them for the purpose of healing, growth, and restoration.

  I’ve noticed a trend with most people I’ve met in that second batch...the ones who hate the idea of God, the church, or anything “religious”. Maybe that’s where you’re at...which is totally Ok. But if you get below the surface, two histories seem to be the driving factors in evoking such negative emotions:

  1) You’ve been hurt by the church. Maybe you were abused by someone at a church. Maybe you had controlling and legalistic parents that forced religion down your throat and there was no love to back it up. Maybe someone waved a sign of hatred in your face and pinned the name of Jesus to it. Maybe a Christian offended you at some point. Either way, it was hurtful and traumatic.

2.) You’ve suffered unspeakable pain. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one. Maybe you were victim to physical, verbal, or sexual abuse. It doesn’t make sense, it’s not fair, and you’ve had to live in the wake of tragedy.      

  You may have 10 examples in your head right now. Or, you may not even be able to think of any examples because you’ve had to subconsciously suppress emotions and memories as a way to cope with the pain. You might be feeling anger or pain right now at the thought of it. If that’s true...please keep reading. Don’t worry, you’re safe to feel things. Whether it be pain or anger...feel them. It’s just you and your computer/phone/tablet/whatever the heck you’re using.

  Well, if nobody has ever said this to you, I’m sorry for your pain. I’m sorry for your loss. I really am.  It breaks my heart to hear what some people have had to endure...many are my close friends and family. Your pain is valid, regardless of what’s happened or been done to you. I don’t minimize or take that lightly.

  But what if I told you that those terrible things actually had nothing to do with God? (Yes, even the things that happened by “Christians”.) What if I told you that those things actually came from the Enemy (Satan and all his douchey little demonic friends)? Satan is described as “the father of lies” and a thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10 ESV)  If any of those words can be used to describe your past or your pain, it was most certainly Satan at the helm. And it doesn’t have to be the literal description...could be stealing of your innocence, killing your friendships, and destroying your dreams (as just a few examples). He’s incredibly gifted at taking little bits of truth and twisting them into something hurtful, while shifting the blame.

  What if I told you that it’s actually God’s Will for NONE of those things to happen? It wasn’t His Will that you were molested, that your dad used to beat you, that your relative was killed, that people cut you down with their words. None of that was God’s choice or His character. God is NOT the one doing those things and it’s not what He wants.

  As a result of sin’s effect on this world and God granting everyone free will, terrible things happen. They just do. But think...If He intervened in every act of hatred, selfishness, violence, pain... (sin) We’d wouldn’t actually have free will and we’d all be perfect. Well, then we’d be in heaven, wouldn’t we?

  What if I told you that what God DOES want is for you to experience wholeness and all the fruits of the Spirit, through relationship with Him? Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-control. Please re-read each of those slowly. With our defenses down, if we are honest, we ALL want more of these in our lives. Yes, that is God’s Will for YOU. That includes everyone...regardless of your circumstances. See, Jesus reveals His desire in the second half of John 10:10. “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have LIFE and have it ABUNDANTLY.” Abundant life sounds incredible to me!

  If we read more of the Bible (for ourselves...without presupposition) and hear more of His character through the full story of Truth, it actually starts to make more sense. If we merely take somebody’s misquoted lack-of-context opinion of the Bible, it sounds confusing and contradictory. God doesn’t sound so bad when we stop blaming Him for things He ISN’T doing and stealing the credit for things He IS doing.        

  Now some people would take this opportunity to tell you that God just exists to make you happy...to make your life better. They may tell you that this decision is all about you and God is happiest when you’re happiest. Like He’s just some cosmic vending machine that’s here to serve us. Also not true. God created us for His glory. He loved us first...and continues to do so with the goal of us loving Him in return. As my wonderful girlfriend would say, “Jesus is the perfect gentleman.” He will love and pursue us even when we screw up or don’t love Him back...but, “No.” means “No.” He won’t force himself on us. That’s not relationship. But the moment we say, “YES!” to Him, He floods us with an incomprehensible love.

  And so the dance begins.

  The seed gets planted and the roots begin to grow. Remember the “fruit of the Spirit” I was talking about? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. You then get access to that fruit! But those things all sound like benefits to me...I thought you said God didn’t make us to just be happy and that we’re apparently only here “for His glory”?

  Well guess what happens when you lead a life filled with these fruits of the Spirit? When you are overwhelmed by joy, even through difficulty...When you love in incredible ways...When your patience is astounding...When your kindness stands out to everyone around you...When your goodness doesn’t make sense...When your faithfulness is unshakable...When your gentleness brings comfort...When your self-control defies natural instincts…  Do you know what happens?? People ask. They want to know how it’s possible. Your friends and family who have seen your life completely change...they start to believe whatever is the reason for your transformation. They don’t start to believe because you had a compelling theological argument. They don’t believe because you explained every tough question about creation and the spiritual realm. They simply see your life and they want what you have. They recognize their pain and brokenness that won’t leave them alone and they want freedom from it.

  Life-change and healing from brokenness. It’s contagious and can’t be silenced. And God gets the glory. There’s nothing more exciting!

  To sum up the questions: How does a loving God do/allow such terrible things? Sin and brokenness are pulled by the strings of Satan...not God. He allows it because without free will, there wouldn’t be relationship. He could very easily wipe us all out and start over if He wanted. But through Scripture, a glimpse of God’s character reveals a heart for restoration, healing, and justice. He promises “to work all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV) A beautiful love story, told through history, where God gives us ALL the opportunity to “live life abundantly” WITH Him. Pardoned from justice. Loved extravagantly.

  If anybody reading this wants to chat more about it, I’d absolutely love to hear your story and explore any questions you might have. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers, but I’m not afraid of tough questions and REAL conversations!

It’s a Friday night...not quite 10:00pm. I’m dressed in sweats, laying on a couch with my favorite blanket. I just finished building a fire and am sipping on a milk stout. A foot of snow and ice cover everything outside the window. The house is empty. Quiet.  

As I was building the fire and setting the mood for a night of solitude and peace, I started to think how crazy it is that this is what I look forward to. I actually love these nights. A few years ago I would’ve been so annoyed with myself. Antsy and frustrated that I wasn’t doing anything exciting or spontaneous with friends on a Friday night. Now I spend so much time with people and things that take energy, I’ve learned to make and enjoy time of rest.

I started to think about how my attractions have changed as I’ve grown...in so many areas of my life. My ideal job has totally changed. My hobbies have changed. My financial priorities have changed. The type of woman I’m attracted to has changed. My material desires have changed. How I spend my time has changed.

I really felt God speaking truth over me about how much we can trust Him in the growth process. How we can trust that our joy actually increases as we draw closer to Him. As we start to remove certain things and add others, life gets better. As a kid that grew up in youth group and lots of other legalistic scenarios, I started to believe that being a ‘good Christian’ meant giving up all the things we enjoy. Giving up all the things we are attracted to. Mostly because a lot of skewed leaders literally told me that, but I think it was also an assumption that my flesh made. What my flesh wants NOW, I may not get to enjoy anymore if I listen to these freaks.

That has been a scary idea for me my whole Christian life. “Will I not be able to go to parties with my friends? Will I not be able to drink alcohol? Will I not be able to have sex or at least take a quick trip to second base with someone every once in a while? (yes, I did just use the middle-school reference to touching a boob) Do I have to pray all the time and listen to cheesy worship music? Do I have to read the Bible or other boring ‘spiritual’ books? God, you’re gonna stick me with some ugly chick aren’t you?? This isn’t funny!!”

These were my terrifying questions as an eighteen-year-old. I lied...these are the questions I’ve continued to ask, in different ways, from the time I hit puberty until now. If that’s what life had to be like for a Christian, it sure sounds more like hell. How can life really be that enjoyable without having the things I want right now?

The thing about our desires...our attractions...is they come from our heart. To be honest, I didn’t actually believe I needed God. I didn’t actually want God. My heart didn’t pursue Him, so I didn’t feel Him. It was a set of motions I went through because I knew I should. I could confidently tell you it was what I believed, but if you took a look at my life and what I was attracted to, you could very easily find my heart...away from Jesus. I’m still finding things I have lifted above Him on the priority list. You know what’s funny about those things? They never work out. They never satisfy you.

God designed this earth and all the pleasures that are in it. He didn’t make them to deprive us of them...He made them for us to enjoy in the healthiest way possible. In the BEST way possible. As I’ve struggled through the wrong attractions and had God replace them with new ones, it’s incredible to see how much we can trust Him. I don’t do (or want to do) most of the things I wanted to do in the past...yet I feel more joy and peace than I ever have. Huh? Let me repeat that...I don’t do things I’ve wanted, yet now feel more joy and peace than I ever have.

I’m not saying I don’t still struggle with trust or that I don’t desire some things that I don’t have. I still struggle with temptation on things I already know I shouldn’t have. Trust me, there are plenty of things I want that I don’t have right now! Some of those things probably aren’t the things I should be wanting, but I’m excited to see how they will change over the next couple years.

God has blown me away...time and time again...with how much better He knows me than I know myself. As I lean into Him more, my understanding of Him grows...my intimacy with Him grows. As a result, I see His glory, His power, His faithfulness, and His beauty so much more clearly. I see my struggles and my need for Him more clearly. Not in a way of shame and guilt, but in a growing humility. Every time I address an issue and endure the process of forging through fire (not fun), I come out on the other side with more wisdom...my attractions change.

I’ve learned that there is a huge difference between desires that are for our pleasure or for His glory. Desires that come from seeking our own pleasure can bring happiness. Happiness is an emotion. Emotions change...very quickly. Desires that come from seeking God’s glory...they bring joy and peace. Those are a state of being. They are rooted in the core of who you are. They are healing. Emotions can change on the surface, but they stand firm.  

So you can survive a life chasing what’s attractive to you...for your own pleasure. You can ride one emotional high of happiness to the next and hope you can tip the scales in your favor. You can medicate life with the wrong desires and still seem fairly happy. The majority of people in the world do this, so you wouldn’t be weird.

OR, you can remove yourself from the control of the emotional scales altogether. You can choose to daily free yourself from the chains of medicating desires. You can surrender them...trusting that God has SO MUCH BETTER for you. All you have to do is spend time with Him. Don’t put your focus on changing your desires or your actions...it won’t last. Just carve out time, be vulnerable, and get to know Him better. Talk to Him. Read about Him. Listen. He WILL reveal new desires...His desires. How you can trade a good life for the BEST life.

Tonight, I’m choosing to acknowledge all the times God changed my desires and replaced them with newer BETTER desires. I’m choosing to be grateful for how many times He provided (in abundance) with things I didn’t even know I wanted...but rocked my world. How He overflowingly met my needs.  For the things I don’t understand, I’m choosing to trust because I know He is trustworthy.

God, remove any desires I have that do not bring you glory. Replace them with new ones that are beneficial in your eyes...that bring joy and peace. Thank you for changing my attractions. Thank you for revealing more of who You are as I draw closer to You.

There is absolutely no way I can post an instagram ‘year-at-a-glance’ because it wouldn’t come close to encompassing what I’ve experienced in 2013. My slideshow would look a lot more like a full-length trilogy than a quick 15 second clip. If I had to give a brief idea, the movies would probably end up being a cross between The Hobbit and The Notebook. Crazy adventures. Traveling and difficulties. Passion and romance. New-found courage and growth. Heartbreak. Revelation and love. But what a ride it’s been. Thank God it didn’t end with hairy feet or amnesia.

The past month or two have been the most challenging of all. Some of the biggest changes in my life all happened in a whirlwind. I still feel like I’m rubbing my eyes and regaining consciousness from what seemed like a dream. God has taken my plans and said, “Nah. I’d rather remove your plans...your comforts...and be forced to trust me. I’d rather you need Me a little more. We have some refining to do and it can’t be done any other way. But son, it’s gonna be great...I promise. ”   

With that ambiguous description being said, I recently accepted the position as assistant pastor at Hill City Church in Hazleton, PA. What started as a satellite branch of EBC (Berwick) became it’s own organization, with an incredible facility. Built into a warehouse and modeled after one of my Nashville homes (Rocketown), it’s complete with a coffee shop, youth sports center/turf field, and soon-to-be video and audio recording studios. How awesome? It’s honestly incredible to see how much has happened and the possibilities of such an exciting place.

In two weeks I’ll be leaving Nashville and moving back to my hometown in the northeast to start my career in full-time ministry. Never did I EVER think I’d be remotely cool with that...less than a year ago I’d call you a lunatic if you predicted this of me. But I guess most great pastors I know will tell you that it was the LAST thing they wanted to do...if that is a qualification, then I may actually be cut out for the job.

As I’ve learned, grown, and drawn closer to Jesus this past year...as I’ve experienced Him in new ways, seen Him work, felt Him...I’ve found myself not wanting to do anything else. How anything else, that isn’t related to worship or spiritual growth, just eventually feels exhausting...like work. Some people may know this, but most of my close friends and family are invested into Hill City Church in some way...working, struggling, and growing for the mission. To see lives changed. I found myself awake at night, brainstorming new ways to make the organization better...to work with them and be more effective. How we can impact the community and build something to help people see Jesus in a way they never have before.

I used to view Hazleton (northeast PA in general) as this black hole that sucks the life out of people. A depressing area that is doomed...a selfish, negative culture. Violence continues to increase and hope decreases every year. I couldn’t wait to get out. Going to bible college in Harrisburg felt like a whole new world. Even going for just one year opened up my eyes to how things can be. In the “bible belt” of PA, you could feel an undeniable difference...God’s presence was around. People smiled at each other. They listened. The cared for one another. Young adults actually cared about their spiritual lives and invested for themselves...not because someone told them they had to go to youth group or mass.

The light grew even brighter when I moved to Nashville two years ago. This was the over-sized (country) buckle of the US bible belt. There are dynamic churches everywhere. I found my biggest problem was choosing which church to attend each day throughout the week. It was actually culture shock...when simply ordering food at a cafe, they look you in the eyes. They ask how your day is going...and actually wait for a response. Being from the northeast, my first instinct was, “What do you want from me?? I just want a sandwich and you’re holding up the line.” It was crazy. Young people, covered in tattoos that enjoy a good beer, (just like me) weren’t afraid to be who they are...living in their culture, while chasing after Jesus. The religious stigmas that I always questioned didn’t have as much of a foothold down here. Why? People care enough to find the right answers for themselves...they wanted to know what the Bible really says about things. Not just some misinterpretation that they were told years ago...then doesn’t hold up. They wanted to grow, learn, and break free from the skewed idea of Christianity that may have been presented earlier in their lives.

It became more common to see lives genuinely changed...hear people say, “Wow. I’ve never heard it like that before. I thought Christianity was _____.” This is what lit the fire in me. Hearing those words is what I crave. It’s a door. It’s where the Holy Spirit gets someone to a place where they catch a glimpse of Jesus in a way they never have...they get a taste of His love and see how life can actually be different. How healing just may be possible for them, no matter what they’ve done...no matter what has been done to them. How exciting.

I started to tangibly realize that success is not about some measurable amount of influence. A number of likes or followers. Record sales. It’s not about a certain dollar amount. It’s not about respect. Hearing my songs played on MTV this year was exciting, but like any fleshly stimulation, it fades...you’re left wanting more. One song placement turned into 20 and it became less exciting. Traveling the country in a tour bus, paying my bills as a full-time musician...what young musicians all over the world dream of...it lost it’s luster.

No. Success isn’t about any of this...it’s about people. It’s about walking in the identity that God loves you more than your pathetic human brain could ever imagine. It’s about responding to that love by walking into healing from our brokenness and helping others do the same. It’s about facing the lies and insecurities with courage and reclaiming the truth about yourself. The truth about other people. In doing that, the way you live...the way you think...the way you feel...the way you love...everything changes. Radically changes. You can redefine who you are, then love others enough to help them do the same. Life change. Eternity change.

There is nothing more exciting to me.

That is success. Those things cannot die and they can never fade away. Now I don’t view Hazleton, PA as a black hole anymore. So moving home from Nashville and becoming a pastor...I don’t view it as failure. I view it as freedom. Now my hours and energy won’t be wasted chasing things that won’t last. Selling computers that will break. Promoting old songs that people will forget.

Speaking of songs, some people have asked if I’m giving up on music...if it just didn’t work out. That’s a very interesting question and the answer is exciting. Music will always come out of me and ‘Brooke Gerhart’ will continue to be an artist that records and releases music. But my view of music has dramatically changed. Over the past few months, so have my goals. I’ve let go of expectations. I’ve let go of my fears of not succeeding or not writing something ‘good enough’. I let go. And in that letting go, I have already seen more music...more art come out of me than what has over the past few years. You know how many songs I’ve written since releasing my full-length album, then living in Nashville for two years? ZERO. You know how many I’ve written in the past month? Almost three. I’m already more lyrically proud of these songs than I am of anything else I’ve written. I’m not afraid anymore. I’m not afraid to be vulnerable. That fear has crippled me for years...it’s stolen from my music, my relationships, my effectiveness. So...to be honest, you can probably expect to hear a whole lot more music out of me, now that my gifts are flowing in a way that really inspires life and creativity.

With 2014 bringing life-change I was never expecting, it has also brought insurmountable growth and opportunity. I’m healing. I’m learning. I’m terrified...but I could not be more excited about where God has me and where He’s taking me.

Thank you all for caring and supporting me in this new journey.

This morning I got to play some music for patients of the Nashville and Murfreesboro Veterans Hospitals. I got to see people, strapped to dialysis machines for hours. Tubes in their arms...no other choice, just to survive. People laying in their rooms in pain. The look of despair is one that can’t be mistaken. The ones who had nobody by their sides. Exhausted. Hopeless. Hurting.       Alone.

We headed down a hallway and into a patient’s room where an elderly couple was snuggled into one hospital bed. They looked so comfortable...as if she climbed into that bad with him the first day and hasn’t left his side. They had a Bible sitting on their legs. She had a big smile on her face. We asked if they wanted to hear any original or Christmas songs. They responded, “Can you play a gospel song for us? That’s what we’d really love to hear.” My immediate panic was feeling unprepared...I barely have any songs memorized. Remembering a song I love and had to learn while recording my acoustic album, I started to play 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman. As I played, they closed their eyes. He started to drum on his leg and hum along. Their faces lit up with the most peaceful of smiles and nodded back and forth to the rhythm.  

As I sung, I felt overwhelmed by their joy. By their love. By God’s love for all of us in that room. How could they have such peace at a time like this? How are they still laying passionately together after so many years of struggle, hurts, and surprises? It’s possible. Fighting back an embarrassing set of tears, I continued to sing.

We worshiped our Creator in that hospital room.

We got to talk for a little and share some encouragement. In my opinion, I was the one receiving it...not them. Yet they were so grateful that we took the time to come sing for them. Are you kidding? That we took the time out of our day, in health and blessings, to come sing a few songs? VA hospitals are filled with sick veterans...and they were thanking us? No. I should be embarrassed that I am not there every day, sharing a little positivity through any talents and health that I’ve been undeservingly blessed with.

They mentioned a quote that can be absolutely life changing, if taken seriously.

“You know, the easiest way to make God laugh is by telling Him what we think our plans should be.”

What silly advice, overflowing with truth. It’s been sinking into my head more and more throughout the day. I don’t think we understand how much we don’t understand God’s omnipotence. All the chemical balances and biological variables that affect our decisions, our communication. All the past situations that dictate our present. All the outside forces that can drastically change the course of the rest of our lives. The small things that can set a ripple effect throughout eternity. It can start by a smile, a song, an apology, a gift. Not to mention an attack, resentment, defensiveness, or fear. One action...or one decision to change action can change eternity. Make eternity different than it’s previous course. That’s insane. It can change the course of somebody else’s eternity. God knows all of it. He knows the possibilities of every outcome.

“And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” - Romans 8:28

Fear is a powerful thing.

It has the ability to speak lies over this truth. This is truth. We have no power to change that. God is in control. He has us. He has a plan and is going to use us to effect eternity. To bring forth His glory and change peoples’ lives through us.

Why do we work so hard to prove it wrong? Why do we let fear dictate actions that we’re called to? Why do we choose to defend ourselves, as if God can’t do it for us? Why do we make plans and “take control” over those big decisions in life with what we think is safest...instead of striving to act solely how the Bible shows us? Boldly. With Love. With selflessness. With passion. With vulnerability.

I can’t imagine what things that couple have had to endure...what things they are currently pushing through. He’s sick. He’s a veteran. They were aged and weathered, but still snuggled up on a hospital bed...singing praises to God through their circumstances. Loving each other. Loving Jesus. Blessing other people through both of those things.

They figured it out.

I’m sure this wasn’t in their plans, but side-by-side they surrendered to the power and glory of our awesome God. Our good God.

I’m sure they aren’t smiling all day every day...they struggle and probably have for many years. But how cool that God has shown victory through their perseverance and trust in His provision? It’s amazing how God does that...how it’s so much more important for Him to get our attention and teach us more truth, than it is for us to maintain some idea of happiness or comfort. I wish I could have His perspective...just for a day. To see the back-stories. To see His plans unfold.

I’m pretty sure that I was the one most blessed and encouraged today. But who knows what effect the songs and smiles may have had on those patients. Those beautiful warriors. It could be one that lasts for eternity. Or the eternity of somebody reading this? It’s a complex plan I could never dream of understanding. I can’t wait to find out when I get to heaven.

This week, in the midst of struggle, I’m trying to focus on the truth of Romans 8:28. I want to live with that boldness. That humility and vulnerability. I want to live in the reality of the power of the Gospel. The grace of Jesus covers ALL things. My failures. The failures of those that hurt me. ALL THINGS. To act in a way that won’t accept grace for everything is stripping away the power of the cross. Who am I to do that? I have nothing to fear. I have no need to defend myself. I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind. The God of angel armies. The quasar creator.

My purpose is to live. To love. To be bold. For His glory. Living a life worthy of the Gospel.

God, help me to trust your plans and let that trust be reflected through fearless action.

A few days ago, my friend was giving me a ride to go pick up my new car. Well, not new...but newer than the one I own, which is rather exciting for me. Those of you who know what I’ve driven for the past 5 years can understand. Finally...from a rigged up cavalier over 200K miles, into some 5-speed German engineering. Heated seats, wrapped in leather to gently embrace my bony tush. From a daily fear of breaking down to daily pleasure in transportation. What joy my life will have!

On our way, we made the obligatory pit stop at the Starbucks drive-through for a fill-up on caffeine and contentment. [Side note: Don’t you just love Starbucks? (especially now that they ethically produce their product) Not only do they provide delicious coffee, but they are always so freakin’ nice!] One grande red eye with heavy whipping cream and 2 splenda...one tall vanilla soy latte.

We pulled around to the typical pleasant barista who struck up casual conversation while our drinks were being made. They’re always nice at Starbucks, but this girl was beaming from ear to ear. She said her day was fantastic...was so beautiful outside and she loves the brisk air. Anybody who uses the word “brisk” instead of “cold”, then includes “love” in the same sentence? I’ll either question the honesty of your words or your sobriety. Sure enough, she meant it...we continued. In Nashville nobody is from Nashville, so, “Where are you from?” is always one of the first questions. She explained how she wound up here by some crazy circumstances, but is originally from northern California.

“It’s kind of a crazy story...see I was paralyzed. I was traveling with some friends, wheelchair and all. I ended up having a spiritual experience here and getting healed...felt drawn to stay. I don’t know what you believe, but people prayed for me and I jumped out of my wheelchair.”  

Huh?

I’m pretty sure she just said that she was paralyzed...people prayed and God made her walk.

But I thought God only did that in stories of the Bible, that were probably just metaphors? I thought the only times that happened today were fake...insecure middle-aged people, looking for attention? Science has proven how the body works and how it becomes healed. Surely they’re exaggerations. Surely it’s some misunderstanding. That can’t be reality. Not today.

But this was a young girl, overflowing with joy while working for $8/hour in a drive-through, yet she couldn’t help but share her story...what God miraculously did to change her life. That was so real in front of us, it was almost palpable. Like she couldn’t help but talk about it any chance she could. Wouldn’t you!? By some defiance of the laws of science and medicine, she got out of her wheelchair. In a single moment where prayer, faith, and trust were shouted forth to some invisible power, a miracle happened. A real one. How could you be silenced after such a tangible experience of more...more than the mundane desires of our flesh and our culture?

Stories like these and experiences like these can be so inspiring. Spark questions you may not have asked. Nudge your mind and your heart open just a little more. What we can’t miss is the significance of these questions, these small steps towards God. If you haven’t figured it out yet, our flesh is stubborn. We need to see it to believe it...when we see it, we still don’t believe it. We question, we test, we test again. All of which are crucial to a sincerely changed heart and a changed mind. Can drastic and immediate change happen? Absolutely. Just as miraculously as healed paralysis, he can heal our minds. But more often than not, a drastic experience is based more on emotions than a genuine change of belief.

Lasting change takes time. It takes experiences like these to push us in the right direction or to push us back into the right focus. Embrace these moments of truth and beauty. Let them change you in any capacity that will breed lasting effects. Baby steps or leaps and strides.

We continued on, Starbucks in hand and questions in our minds. The ground didn’t shake and the heavens didn’t open. I got my car and love it. Our lives didn’t change...at least not as much as jumping out of a wheelchair. But maybe both of us were nudged just a little step in the right direction.

I'm currently reading what is already becoming one of my favorite books… "GOSPEL - Recovering the Power that Made Christianity Revolutionary" by JD Greear. I love when a book makes you want to underline a phrase or just humbly (and audibly) say, "wow". My new purchase is quickly transforming into a collection of scribbles, brackets, and highlights. Side note: I'm only on page 54.

A midst a handful of emerging messages that express the fact that Jesus > Religion, this has been a monumental tool in explaining the "why" behind the "what". It's logical. It's funny. It's intelligent. But most of all, because it explains the Gospel… as it was intended to not only be read, but understood. This book is not is an account of some legalistic, self-righteous joker conveying his own manipulated opinions *angry face*.

"Think of what Jesus said to the woman caught in the act of adultery. He said to her, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.'(John 8:11) What is most significant about His statement is its order: promise first; command second. 'Neither do I condemn you' precedes 'go and sin no more.' We almost always try to reverse those. God, however, motivates us from acceptance, not toward it. Jesus' affirmation would give this woman the security that could free her from her destructive relationship with sex. Without that, she'd never truly break free. God's approval is the power that liberates us from sin, not the reward for having liberated ourselves..."  (page 53 & 54).

What stood out to me was the fact that this is Jesus talking to a woman caught in adultery. Not a popular or favored word in our culture, but she cheated on her husband. The guy was out at work… comes home after a long day... and finds his wife with some dude. Or maybe it wasn't that red-handed… maybe she was just sending him nude selfies on her iPhone and hubby saw the texts. We don't exactly know for sure. But this is a BIG deal… It was then. It is now. Infidelity destroys trust and intimacy, tears apart families, and is probably one of the most offensive things you can do to another human being (short of murder or rape).

Now that we realize WHAT they were talking about, listen to what Jesus says first: "Neither do I condemn you." What? No! Make her clean the bathrooms at church, pray 13 rosaries, wear a scarlet letter, or stone her! This blows my mind. This is a cheating spouse! Then Jesus carries on [I'll paraphrase], "I love you no matter what you've done or what has been done to you. I have the power to judge you, but I won't. I'd rather wipe you clean and make you new."

Condemnation was not his first point. Acceptance was. His order of semantics is critical.

Isn't this, as our culture knows it, Christianity flipped on it's head?

Do we understand what that means for the reality of our every day life? This is not about pinpointing which issues we struggle with and where we screw up. We cannot liberate ourselves with good actions, just like we can't disqualify ourselves with bad ones. This is about really embracing what the Gospel says…that we are intimately loved first, NO MATTER WHAT WE DO. I'm typing capital letters to help get it through my thick skull too, because these are things I'm still learning to embrace daily.

How good is that news? That's not religion. That's not hypocrisy or judgement. That's love. And that's what makes Jesus different than anything else out there.

I believe, with a stripped down, unfiltered, no-BS display of the Gospel, it's life-changing power will come raging forth. And not just some hyped-up service where a bunch of people get pressured into some short-lived emotional response. I believe, through experiencing the Gospel, our lives will be transformed. Our hearts will be changed. Our families will be changed. Our communities will be changed.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard the statement, "Oh, I'm going to hell. I already know that" … well, I'd probably have (roughly) seventeen dollars. It's not enough to retire on, but it's a frustrating amount to prove that people aren't being shown the power and truth of the Gospel. Because if we did, we would know that ANY person can be made new again.

At first, I tried coming up with some witty question or “attention grabber” to set the tone of this post/blog/vomit from the heart. However, I’m over that right now and I’d rather just come out of the corner swinging on this one. Cool?

After re-listening through a few Louie Giglio podcasts today, one of the topics really got my wheels turning...not out of guilt or conviction, but mostly compassion. Granted, I have struggled with some of these issues myself...pretty heavily in the not-so-distant past.

I’m talking about the issues (commands) of “Waiting on The Lord”, “Being Still”, and “Resting in Him”. I think these are so quickly breezed past in the Bible because, at face value, they sound so pointless and easy. Stopping to even address them might make you think, “Be still? I’ve gone nowhere in years...and I’ve been waiting EXTRA patiently for God to do things in my life. Let’s dig into some real meat!”

If we dig just below the surface of these commands, we uncover a powerful set of gifts. You see, all of these require action and that action is simply leaning into God. It’s saying, “God, this life is exhausting. I have no idea what is best because everything I try doesn’t seem to work. I trust that You are in control, so take the reigns.” It’s an ACT of intentional surrender and a commitment to a personal growth process as we wait for God to lead us in different directions. As Louie describes: It’s not kicking back in the lazyboy, cracking open a beer, and saying, “Alright God, do something miraculous!” (He didn’t say beer...I added that because I enjoy it.)

But seriously...it’s not even stepping back to pray and ask God to do something. Most of the time he DOES something by giving us a heart nudge and equipping us with the right tools and strength to work on it. I love a truth that my father (general surgeon) taught me on that topic. He said, “Of course God heals people...He uses me to do it every day.” It’s amazing how God designed it that way...He gave us each gifts, then calls us to USE them (with Him) for His glory.  Now don’t get me wrong, I totally believe that God can intervene miraculously and still does. He’s God and can do what He wants. However, I think God wants it to be a team effort of relationship. Clearly He’s the one pulling most of the weight, but He definitely didn’t create us so He can do things for us! We get the free will of using our actions to trust, worship, and bring Him glory through our actions. What you do reflects what you believe. What you DO reflects what you BELIEVE.

To truly experience the intimacy, peace, and joy that comes as gifts from these divine recommendations, it means you have to be logistically intentional about them. You need to “trim the fat” from your daily schedule and force yourself into quiet time of worship and communication with your creator. You need to dig up the areas of your life that need work, so that you can be shamelessly ready to be used by Him as effectively as possible. That may result in a glorifying relationship, job, finances...anything. Everything.

I believe it is one of the “battles of the flesh” we can never fully conquer in these broken bodies, but a tension we can manage as we seek and trust God’s will in our lives. For a night owl like me, it will probably always be difficult to wake up a little earlier to have some quiet time of study, prayer, and worship. But that decision itself...painfully peeling my eyelids open before my body agrees...I think that makes God say, “That’s my boy.” (with a big smile)

The reality is, this is so so difficult...especially in our culture, where we have smartphones buzzing every 7-9 seconds. It really isn’t easy to do, but honestly we CAN’T AFFORD NOT TO. Every day that goes by where we don’t make the time to Be Still, Rest in Him, and Wait on The Lord, we are robbing ourselves of the fulfillment we were created for. Life becomes some cyclical pattern of meaningless stresses, anxieties, and responsibilities.

Let’s push back against the lies of our culture that tell us the more stimulation we can cram in a day, the happier we will be. Let’s not be the ones who breeze past these gems in the Bible...let’s take hold of them and set them as the rock in which we stand on.

So, today I got to thinking about girls…crazy concept, I know. A single dude in his 20s thinking about chicks? Thinking of relationship possibilities, questioning my decisions with past relationships, or dreaming of the perfect girl in the future, I stopped myself amidst this mental tug-of-war.  I started to realize how obsessive we are, in our culture, with relationships. It's unreal. We are completely consumed by this fascination with finding or maintaining a romantic relationship with another screwed up human being. 

We text/tweet/message/snapchat/like/and (fb)creep on our current options. We constantly survey the online market for potential options. We beg for attention with "selfies" and whiney single posts. And of course, for the few times we interact with REAL people…like in person…we have our heads on a swivel for any oncoming options that may stroll into our peripheral vision. Now, maybe I'm just being transparent about my issues and nobody else in the world has ever functioned this way, but I have a slight hunch that I'm not alone. 

Oh, and I love this one…teenage girls (or any girl under 25) whining that they'll never find someone and will be alone forever! You know who you are, ladies…before I go any further, just stop it. *hits nose with newspaper* 

I've been fortunate enough to have an amazing set of parents who have added knowledge to my experience with relationships and how to make them healthier. I like to think that I have a "one up" on most people in this whole process, yet I STILL struggle with this 'single battle.'  I'll be the first to admit that I'm still guilty of this obsession too. It just hit me recently how much time, energy, and emotions our culture wastes on searching for that special someone. You don't realize it until you consciously step away from it all (if that's even possible), but it truly permeates our thoughts and actions all day long. If you can step outside this curse, at least temporarily, you may start to share my same frustration.

Frustration is the first step…that's when you realize it's actually a problem. As a Christian, relationships seem to be one of those areas where we avoid Biblical guidance. (typically because we already know the answers, but our flesh doesn't like them) Or again, this could just be me and nobody else! lol But I pushed through the discomfort and actually started digging to see what the Bible says about relationships and how we should view/seek them. I actually started to agree with Paul when he said that it's better to be single…it's less responsibilities, so we can focus on reflecting God's glory even more. (1 Corinthians 7: 32-35) That doesn't sound exciting at all…lets fast-forward to the parts that say "Wives, submit to your husbands and meet his sexual needs!" Right?! *smacks self in the nose with newspaper* Unfortunately, I'm trying to push past the popular habit of hand-picking certain parts of the Bible that support my fleshly desires, and trying to shine a light on the more challenging ones that I've ignored. After all, the ones we don't like were probably just metaphors, right? lol 

I used to think that was a pathetic passage, geared to encourage the people who couldn't get a girlfriend or boyfriend. But lets face it, some of you girls are downright exhausting.  Guys, can I get an Amen? Before I get attacked, I'll admit that we guys can be quite the responsibility too…we're not off the hook. However, I'm starting to learn how exhausting LIFE can be, even without a relationship, and how it's already difficult to put our focus on building His Kingdom. 

What culturally woke me up (more specifically) was not just how a relationship can distract our effectiveness for The Kingdom, but even the pursuit of one. Hmm… The concept that even when we are single, we may be spending just as much time, energy, and emotions on seeking someone, becoming less effective for The Kingdom. I think this is one of the biggest opportunities that The Enemy has capitalized on to "steal, kill, and destroy" and he's been doing a pretty fantastic job lately. Now I'm getting just downright frustrated in myself and seeing my friends and loved ones robbed of their potential and purpose.

Ultimately, this need for attention, affection, and companionship is all rooted in a distorted view of identity, security, and purpose. I'm gonna turn up the cheese factor and pull out the old saying, "There's a God-shaped hole in all of our hearts that can't be filled with anything of this world." But as cheesy as it sounds, it's the truth. Talk to anyone who as genuinely experienced the love of Christ. I don't mean someone who has gone to church for "x" number of years, or volunteered at a soup kitchen, or worn the Christian jersey all their lives. I mean someone who has EXPERIENCED Jesus. No "perfect" relationship could even scratch the surface. When you align yourself with what you were designed for, there is NO greater feeling. 

Now, this is not an issue that's solved by some eye-opening revelation or conviction. Not only do we have to uproot these deeper issues of identify, security, and purpose, but we have to intentionally "quit" with the habits we've already developed over the years. That's tough stuff. Both of these are huge and will look different for each person, but that's ok.  We need to let go of the lie that somebody else can make us happy. We're all in this struggle together and just have to commit to heading in the right direction. It truly is amazing how much more enjoyable and stress-free life can be when we get past these issues and can pour into our true purpose…bearing fruit. There's too much work to be done, so lets quit looking so hard and focus on the fruit!