FIRE BIRD WITH PEACE & LOVE

It’s easy to think the past was way better when you compare it to all the awful aspects of your life today. But, well, you’re pretty much better off now.

#WORLDMENTALHEALTHDAY  🌺💖 because everyone has mental health.

I know that most people visit Cwote for an uninterrupted stream of happiness, but yesterday was the hardest day of my entire life and I feel like sharing.

I had never felt such an immediate, persistent and consuming depressed presence as long as I have been a person here on Earth. Yesterday I was consumed by thoughts of suicide, paranoia and loneliness. Panic attacks are somewhat common for those with anxiety and depression, but I had never experienced sequels. I had 6 reoccurring fits of panic where nothing in life made sense. Nothing in life seemed worth it. I wanted it all to stop. I know there are individuals that experience this more often than I, so I should consider myself fortunate, however, I wanted to make this post as a reminder that no matter how low you get, no matter how fucked and unfair everything in this world may seem, please stay. Please live through tomorrow. Life is the biggest bully there, but you cannot let it win. Keep going. Don’t give up. There are those out there that would be sad if you weren’t here. 

“Pisanthrophobia” is the fear of trusting people due to bad past experiences.

1. They are arrogant and have a sense of entitlement: This is one of the key indicators of a narcissist. He or she believes that they are special, superior to others and deserve to be treated better than others. They like to brag of their successes and accomplishments, and want everyone to tell them how wonderful they are. At social events, they must be the centre of attention, and everyone must talk about what he or she wants to talk about.

2. They use and exploit other people: The narcissist sees people as being there for them. Hence, they use other people to help them reach their goals. Also, they’ll often prey on others, and use them sexually. So they’ll charm, seduce and use you – then rapidly move on. he damage, or the heartache they may cause.

3. They lack empathy: The narcissistic person can’t form relationships. To them feelings don’t matter; they don’t have empathy. They don’t care about the damage on the heartache they may cause. Also, they won’t support or help you when life is difficult.

4. They have poor boundaries: The narcissistic person won’t respect your boundaries. They’ll take what’s yours and use it – and see that as their right. They’re rude, they insult others, they comment on their looks, and violate the standards that others see as just.

Some tips on dealing with a narcissist

(a) First, you need to recognise your personal vulnerabilities so you don’t get taken in by a charming narcissist – who makes you feel you’re special, or the best thing in this world.

(b) Second, understand this individual is not a normal person. They won’t be there for you as they don’t have empathy. Recognise those telltale signs which indicate they’re self-obsessed.

© Third, establish and maintain healthy, stringent boundaries.

An emotionally abusive person may “dismiss your feelings and needs, expect you to perform humiliating or unpleasant tasks, manipulate you into feeling guilty for trivial things, belittle your outside support system or blame you for unfortunate circumstances in his or her life. Jealousy, possessiveness and mistrust characterize an emotionally abusive person”[1]. In summary, emotional abuse includes the following:

1. Acting as if a person has no value and worth; acting in ways that communicate that the person’s thoughts feelings and beliefs are stupid, don’t matter or should be ignored.

2. Calling the person names; putting them down; mocking, ridiculing, insulting or humiliating them, especially in public.

3. Controlling through fear and intimidation; coercing and terrorizing them; forcing them to witness violence or callousness; threatening to physically harm them, others they love, their animals or possessions; stalking them; threatening abandonment.

4. Isolating them from others, especially their friends and family; physically confining them; telling them how they should think, act, dress, what decisions they can make, who they can see and what they can do (limiting their freedom); controlling their financial affairs.

5. Using that person for your own advantage or gain; exploiting their rights; enticing or forcing another to behave in illegal ways (for example, selling drugs).

1. See the good in your past. There will always be things that we wish had never happened; there will always be bad memories and things that we regret. But they are part of who you are – so accept that they have happened and celebrate the person they’ve allowed you to become.

2. Invest time in the things that bring you happiness. It’s important to identify the things that you enjoy, and that make you come alive, and are all a part of “you”. Spending time on those things will help to raise your self-esteem, as you’re valuing yourself when you pursue happiness.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. We all make mistakes - and when we think of them we cringe. But that doesn’t make you any worse than other people. Just try and learn what you can, and then move on with your life.

4. Stop criticising yourself. So often we’re really our own worst enemy. We look for our flaws, and we put ourselves down – instead of being understanding of our own limitations. It’s time to change that behaviour – so start loving yourself.

5. Listen to your instincts and intuitions. If you want to love yourself, you must listen to yourself. Pay attention to those instincts and your instant gut reaction – and trust that you are right when you hear that inner voice.