The Office of the Public Pretender

When the client’s mommy won’t stop calling demanding I “do something” for her precious baby serving time in another state

Management when GenZ isn’t interested in unreasonable hours and shit pay

When your voicemail box is full because a client who has a warrant for FTA calls multiple times every day and I’m physically in court too much to get ahead of it

When a judge unapologetically and publicly drags the prosecutor’s whole office

When the head prosecutor is forced to publicly claim a recent trial loss for his office was because I put on a good case

When I get reappointed on a file where the client screamed at me, cussed me out, and proclaimed he was going to hire private counsel because I’m the worst attorney ever

When my grown-ass client’s mommy calls me after every hearing to tell me everything I do is wrong

When I have a case going to trial that will require me to pretend to be sensitive on any subject I cannot take seriously

Leaving court after sentencing on one of your most annoying clients of all time

When the transcript of your client’s jail calls to the victim comes through

When you’ve worked out a great deal for your client, you just need to get them through sentencing without them doing something to mess it up

Most client meetings

When a client who usually gets caught with pounds of meth gets busted this time with weed instead