Jesse McArthur

"You think? Coop did mention something about not letting Juli... Kitchenette find out. Maybe she already did, maybe she already cursed me." Robbie's eyes wandered to his buttons as he doom-spiralled, "cursed to fuck bad bitches forever." As far as curses go this one wasn't that bad, actually, and Robbie shrugged before winking at them both for their hosing idea. "Next time," he joked, knowing that wasn't in the realm of possibility.

"You think that Juli... Kitchenette... the ultimate evil, the worst of the worst, the Palpatine of Havensdale Valley, has decided to curse you with unstoppable horny-ness?" Tyler couldn't have face-palmed any further than he already had. Robbie was always trying to tango with danger, wasn't he? Tyler only hoped he could continue to charm, fly or nepo-baby his way outta it. He fought off a smile as Jesse laughed and tried to no avail to get this conversation back on track. Well, assuming it had been on track to begin with.

"There's been plural bad bitches?" Jesse asked with a raised eyebrow, "What exactly have you been getting up to down here?" At his comment of 'next time', he couldn't help but cackle again. Tyler's lie detection must've been giving him a migraine if Robbie was going to insist on it never happening again, but then joking about a next time. Again, he cackled at all these names for Juliette–yes, she was scary, but right now nothing was funnier than her being referred to as the Palpatine of Havensdale Valley. Fuck, he loved his friends. Still thinking about all the injuries Robbie might be hiding, both of Jesse's brows shot up at his admission of dying a happy man. "That good, eh?" He turned to Tyler, "How could it not be about you? This behaviour doesn't just appear from nowhere! Was she threatening your family? You can tell us." He snorted, trying to keep a straight face. "Used for your hot, seventeen year old bod?" Wait, had he known about Cooper bursting into the room. "Wait, she hid you from Cooper?"

Karen had quit smoking ages ago... and that was why she was hiding outside, away from the twinkling fairy lights and roaring fire pits, where no one could see her. Because this one didn't count. And she could not face Krys' shit eat grinning about it. So, when she heard a noise behind her, she almost stumbled trying to waft the smoke away from her. Should she eat the evidence? No, that's unhinged. Don't do that. Damn it, she was totally busted.

Ethan had been outside getting some air when Karen decided to give him an actual heart attack. How long had she been there? He hadn't heard the door open nor did he hear the lighter she must have used to light the cigarette. Cursing under his breath, he released a small laugh. If he tried hard enough, maybe he could pretend they were back in high school. "Maybe if you spare one, I'll be inclined to look the other way."

Robbie gave the finger to the door as Jamie yelled from outside it, "rude." He finally lowered it, replacing it with a misplaced triumphant grin as he thought they were all finally in agreement, "Exactly! None of our business! Not our circus, and not our clowns, or whatever." The grin faltered quickly when he figured out that they were not in fact quite seeing eye to eye on this whole situation yet, punctuated by the labelling of Isabel as the cheater. Was it really cheating? It didn't feel like cheating. If she was going to cheat on Joey surely she would have aimed higher? "No, this was an act of god. Maybe we're cursed."

"Maybe you're cursed, Rob," Tyler countered. Regardless of what had happened with Isabel and Tyler in the past, it clearly had nothing on whatever had happened last night. He thought about asking if Robbie thought that it had been a distraction for her. Tyler was sure that's what he'd been. He thought about asking if Robbie liked her, but decided against it. "That's true, though. You two practically needed to be hosed down last night. Pretty disrespectful in front of the big man, actually," Tyler chastised, meaning the Marshmallow Man in 'Ghostbusters'. Tyler looked back to Jesse, eyebrows raised as he took the plunge and asked the question. Tyler didn't like to think that anything could shake Robbie's confidence, his unwavering self-esteem, but Jesse was doing a great job of hyping him back up.

"Yeah, don't put your curse on us." Jesse was laughing again, but it wasn't quite as hysterical as it had been before. "Not sure hosing them would've had the effect you think it would've, Ty." He snorted, a sudden memory of Faye standing in the pouring rain, confessing her feelings for him, taking over his mind for a moment. As Tyler looked at him, Jesse tried to read from his expression if he thought that Robbie was lying, but as he had been told before, it wasn't always that easy to tell when the person believed the lie; Robbie certainly seemed sure of his response.

"What do you mean?" Robbie's eyes narrowed at Tyler's fluster and apparent button-ownership, but tripled in size as Jesse reminded him of Jamie's weirdly popular hobby. "Shit. Hey! This isn't podcast material, young lady. You can't be spilling the secrets of the underground. That's, like, highly classified." He was too busy trying to save his own skin to even notice she was still holding onto his sword as she was escorted out. "And my uncle's the sheriff!"

He wouldn't want to find out from one of us. That was an 'us' that included Jamie, because she wasn't the one he was dating. She wasn't the one that he would want to tell him. Her spiralling thoughts were out of control, and Jamie had to scold herself for being upset over not being the girl in this fake scenario that had cheated on him. What an unhinged thing to be jealous about. But before she could shake herself out of her dissociation, Jesse was pulling her out of the room.

Tyler let out a long-suffering sigh, facepalming as Jesse ushered Jamie out of the room. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry as she shouted back about sex dungeons and Podcasts. He looked back up at the closed door, knowing she was on the other side, still listening. Close, just not close enough. Story of their lives. Tyler was pulled out of his thoughts by Jesse's button comment, shaking his head. He had grown to accept that Faye Montgomery was here to stay. Hell, she was even nice, now. It definitely didn't mean he wanted to hear about her button popping prowess.

Everything was too hilarious, until suddenly, it wasn't. "Tyler's right, man. Whatever it is that Joey and Isabel are doing... it's really not our business." Jesse's brow furrowed as he pulled a chair over to sit down. "And whatever they're doing–or not doing–doesn't justify her cheating on him." Maybe they had broken up though–how were they really to know?–but he knew that whatever occurred in this room last night hadn't been planned. It was probably as much of a shock to Robbie as it was to them. What was worrying him the most, though, was how much it seemed to be affecting his friend.

Robbie's head spun trying to keep up with the inquisition while his sword was being held hostage. Some kind of torture it was, hearing that thud against the floor, "it's for display, Jamie. C'mon. I'm begging." Tyler, still apparently hung up on the buttons like he hadn't lost something much grander to that same demon, was going to kill him - clearly his bestie had left a lot out of his retelling of that sequence of events. "Tyler, you kinky slut. Maybe I would've thought more if you'd told us what she was like, you-" Robbie turned to Jamie again, commanding, "cover your ears." Back to Tyler, he continued his dramatics, "she's an absolute animal. If you'd warned us, maybe the buttons would still be attached." Jesse made a good point through his fits of laughter, and Robbie snorted, "the bingo cards aren't going to fill themselves, okay? Noted for the future though. Besides, I think it's the beard. It's too powerful." He ran his hand over his chin, revelling in its existence while he still could, "I have to shave."

Honestly, the more Robbie protested to her playing with his sword, the more she wanted to, so she spun it in her hand again. At the words directed to Tyler though, she faltered again, eyes catching his for the briefest moment before she diverted her gaze. Jamie had spent a long time trying to forget anyone that Tyler had had relations with, and she certainly didn't need the visuals of what he might have done with Isabel. God, what had Robbie done? Suddenly he was telling her to cover her ears, and she absolutely would not. "Robbie... I don't know how to tell you this, but... minus Tyler, we're all animals..." Her eyebrow raised as he started rambling about the power of his beard; was this really what guys talked about when they were alone? How did she end up in this inner circle of nerdom?

"Wha--- I don't--- How dare---," Tyler could barely get his words out as Robbie's accusations came flying his way. He was caught up between trying not to look at Jamie - but their eyes met, anyway - and trying not to blush. He was scoffing his way into a full sentence while trying to process exactly what Robbie was saying. If he wasn't malfunctioning right now, he would have laughed at Jamie's 'we're all animals' comment, too. "Right, hold on! Let's just back this up for one freaking minute, please. There was nothing for me to tell, alright? There was no... I didn't... My buttons were left intact, sir!" he announced loudly.

The smile on Jesse's face could only be compared to the Cheshire Cat; he was having too much of a good time with this revelation, and could only be thankful that absolutely none of it involved him. But no, Robbie was right and Jamie shouldn't be privy to this line of conversation–there was no world that he would be conversing about sex with his sister in the room, never mind actually discussing it with her. "Yeah, you've really done a good job of not exposing this gossip to the Podcast Queen over here." He pointed to Jamie, "Come on. It's the hall for you, I'm afraid." Jesse pulled her by the arm–sword dragging along with her–guiding her out the room and swiftly locking the door. She could probably still hear them in here, but at least he wouldn't have to look at her.

The timing of The Boys plus, for some reason, Jamie's arrival upon Robbie's humble chambers could not have been worse. Isabel has only just made her escape in time to hopefully miss them entirely, but he'd barely even got around to making his bed. The pillows were not fluffed. His Marvel throw was carelessly draped over a chair. Embarrassing. He'd been distracted, granted, by something being quite clearly off-balance with his displays, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why or what. This conundrum had completely overshadowed the mere existence of the buttons, and as Tyler pointed them out he died. Internally. From shame. "Shhhle-" The combined embarrassment of it all had parched his throat and drained his colour. Robbie coughed, turning his attention to Jamie because first things first; "that's not a toy. Have some... respect." Opting to quickly pocket the buttons in an effort to make them all forget, he shrugged at his friends, "I'm getting a witch to, uh, look at them." Fucking hell. He couldn't keep this quiet even if he wanted to. "And... I may have... Done..." he braced for Jesse's reaction, "Isabel."

The second that Jamie walked into Robbie's room, she regretted it. Jesse and Tyler hadn't said a word about Isabel having done more than destroy them at Mario Kart, but even Tyler must be smelling her in here! Trying to get silent confirmation from Jesse was proving useless, so she had chosen to distract herself with Robbie's nerdy little sword. It wasn't until Tyler mentioned the buttons that she lifted her head, her swings slowing. At his scolding, Jamie stuck out her tongue, but the tip of the sword thwacked off the floor when Robbie confessed to his crimes. "Oh, you're telling me to have respect?" May have done Isabel–honestly! Still though, she was grinning like a maniac at this revelation.

"I knew it!" Tyler exclaimed, shock still clear on his face as Robbie confessed. What choice did he have, really? Tyler was shaking his head, eyeing the pocket where those telltale buttons had been hidden away. Shamefully. Tyler wasn't trying to cause shit, and sure, his friends could do whatever they wanted but... this was asking for trouble. "What were you thinking? Were you thinking? I can't believe you lost perfectly good buttons over this, Robbie. Unbelievable." Of all the women in all the world - well, Havensdale - it had to be Isabel Valentine.

It was obvious. The entire situation was staring them in the face, but the way Robbie announced it was too much for him. If he'd had a drink in his mouth, it would have been sprayed across all three of them, but alas, Jesse merely blew a loud raspberry and followed it up with a cackle. "You two are hilarious. You know you can sleep with girls that don't hate your guts, right? A novel idea, I'm sure, but It could even be a different girl." He cackled again until Tyler mentioned Joey, and Jesse's eyes suddenly widened and his jaw dropped. "Oh!" He pointed frantically at Robbie, "Joey's gonna kill you." His attention turned to Jamie, "Did they break up?"

In the harsh light of day, Tyler was surer than ever that something had happened between Robbie and Isabel last night. The fact that Jamie was here, too, might have been delaying the inevitable, but Tyler felt it was only a matter of time. Robbie, the second-biggest gossip he had ever known, had to be bursting at the seams. As they all congregated in his room, Tyler was eyeing the place suspiciously when he saw it. "Robbie... why is there a perfect pile of loose buttons here?" @broho-jesse

From the second they had walked into Robbie's room, all Jesse could smell was Isabel Valentine. From the looks she had given him, he was sure that Jamie could smell her too, but neither of them had dared to mention it. She seemed to be distracting herself with Robbie's replica of Link's Master Sword, but his train of thought was so all over the place, he almost didn't hear Tyler. He moved to stand beside Tyler, pressing his lips together at the sight of the buttons with snapped thread still attached to them–he knew exactly what these buttons were. Saying nothing, but absolutely ready to cackle, he turned his attention expectantly to Robbie.

"First of all, enough of that," Tyler scolded, pointing an accusatory finger at Jesse as he did that little sing-song voice. "Isabel is fine, whatever. I'm only commenting for the sake of painting a picture here. I'm far too evolved to be lured by siren song, but our man Robbie... Well." Jesse's eyebrows were headed off the planet while Tyler stayed standing strong in his theory. He nodded as Jesse listed off the disasters of the day, only seeing them as all the more evidence of this torrid affair. Damn, though. She did lowkey kill him when he promposed... A lifetime ago, mind you. "Well, it's not like she wanted me for my rockin' bod at the time, man," he tutted. "Dude, she totally has a thing for nerds. And I hate to say it but, you know. Let's call a spade a spade."

Jesse cackle laughed, too amused with himself as Tyler tried to shut down the topic of Isabel's good looks. "Fine." He repeated with a snort–it was all too funny. "Sure you are." He wasn't prepared to argue with him on the subject, already feeling like he might fall over with laughter and never be able to get back up. He was just about pulling himself together, when he brought up his 'rockin' bod' and he was away again. "Okay. Okay, so..." Jesse had to stop to take a few deep breaths to calm down, "Right, what are we doing then? Do we storm to his room? Respectfully wait until morning to interrogate him? Do you think Carmen knows how to exercise a demon?" He paused for a long moment, gears still whirring in his brain. "You don't think her and Coop ever...?"

Tyler yawned as Jesse confirmed their current situation. He was more concerned with finding them both a real bed than where Robbie-and-Isabel had gone. He appreciated Jesse's concern, though. "Tell me about it," he said, stretching out as best he could. Hours or years could have passed, he'd have no idea. "That would make sense, yeah. Show our Rob a pretty girl who could kill him with her bare hands, and he'll forget all about his best boys. I hate to say it, but typical." Tyler paused then, turning over a thought in his head. Thinking about everything he'd heard Isabel say earlier, about every time she and Robbie had interacted - or, more interestingly, hadn't interacted - tonight. "Unless..."

Jesse couldn't contain his stupid grin as Tyler said 'typical'. He didn't know what was funnier–Robbie forgetting about them in favour of a pretty girl, when he would be so mad at them for doing the same, or... "You still think she's pretty?" He asked in a sing-song voice. Obviously Isabel was pretty, but that might have been the first compliment he had ever heard Tyler give her. And then he said that. "Oh, come on. Surely not." Jesse's brows were disappearing into his hairline at the implication. Sure, there had been vibes, and intense eye contact, and somehow banter? But surely they hadn't snuck off to hook up. Right? "There was a literal earthquake–a full moon!–it's disaster central out there, and you think–?" He scoffed, "She laughed at his promposal. She wouldn't–... Okay, so she's already had her way with you, and she thought she'd kissed me... Dude, do you think Isabel has a thing for nerds?"

Tyler was sound asleep. He wasn't even sure if he saw the Marshmallow Man on screen or if he'd seen 'Ghostbusters' so many times, he'd imagined it. Either way, he was rudely awakened by the sound of Jesse interrupting his dreams. "No... five more minutes...," he mumbled, fighting against opening his eyes despite Jesse's nudging. With a grumble, he forced himself to sit up, vision bleary as he looked around the room for the supposedly MIA Robbie-and-Isabel. "They're gone?" he said, taking longer than usual to process what Jesse was saying. "Like... Together?"

Jesse nudged him a second time, a little rougher than before, when he asked for five more minutes; now was not the time for five more minutes. "Gone." He confirmed, shrugging his shoulders dramatically at his next question. "I'm as in the know as you are, man. I just woke up." He took a second to look around, noting that Isabel's jacket was still draped over the table she had been perched on earlier that evening. "Maybe Rob showed her to one of the spare rooms?" And just left them on the couch? Rude.

Tyler nodded in response to Jesse's confirmation, wondering just how both him and Isabel could be telling the truth. And then it just kept getting wilder and wilder. "Man, this is intense," he breathed, finally taking the seat that Isabel had insisted he have about a hundred times now. He tried not to be surprised anymore, but the hits really did keep coming. The rollercoaster that had been Jesse-and-Faye was one that Tyler was glad to finally be off. Now, they were unbearably adorable. "Does that still count, then? For your 'bingo card', Isabel."

Even after distancing herself from him, Isabel could barely keep her eyes off Robbie. The way he was looking at her... it terrified her; it thrilled her. No one had ever looked at her like that, and she had never felt so drawn to someone before–it was like something magnetic was constantly trying to pull her back into him. What was happening to her? It was Robbie Wilson, for crying out loud! But for the briefest moment, she found herself wondering why that mattered? Before she could think too hard on that, he spoke and, honestly, it felt like a kick to the gut.

Robbie's eyes widened at every single new piece of information being dropped by Jesse, followed by an "ouch, that bad?" in regards to Tyler and Isabel, culminating in an audible gasp as Isabel brought up Chris Andrews. What a rollercoaster! It made the funny feeling in his tum about Faye-actually-Jesse trying to hit him up pale in comparison. Thank god for his own incredibly high morals, or this could've turned out to be a real mess.

Jesse... was cackling. Full on, buckled over, holding his stomach, crying, cackling. He hadn't thought about his body swap experience for a long time, and to now find out that Isabel had kissed Faye in his body? It was too good. As was the scathing remark at Tyler. And then he was choking. "No. No! Okay, I did kiss him for the grand plan of ruining Faye's life, but I was immediately full of regrets on that one." He glanced at Robbie, suddenly remembering the conversation he'd had with him as Faye and he almost started laughing again. What a weird time. "Tell you what though, Dexter kissed me back then too and that was something. Highly recommend."

Tyler was not about to scramble over himself to come to Isabel Valentine's rescue, but these two sure were. Robbie, especially. And what's worse, he had recklessly thrown the popcorn Tyler's way with no warning! There were kernels everywhere. Tyler was looking between the two, their faces closer than ever, arms around waists and little to no regard for the rest of the room. Tyler barely resisted the urge to wave between them. This meeting was swiftly losing its focus and there was nothing much they could do about it. When Jesse starting speaking, though, Tyler's attention left Isabel-and-Robbie.

The collision with the ground would have been fine. She would have welcomed it, even with the shame of looking like a fool; anything would have been better than the reality of Robbie's hands on her body, his face so close to hers that she could smell the butter from the popcorn on his breath. There were two people in this room that would be able to hear her racing heartbeat if they tried and she hated that. Why was he affecting her like this? Isabel lifted her eyes to look into his–every time it was a jumpscare that they were so blue. "Fine." Was all she could manage to whisper in response to him. Why did he care? Why would he catch her? Why did he think that Tyler would be able to catch that popcorn?

His hands captured the tension in her body and heat rose up his neck as her eyes locked on his. 'Fine'? While he could hear her heartbeat, damn near feel it too, he could chalk that up to adrenaline. He couldn't say the same for himself, however. Whatever was taking a hold on him was far more animalistic, and he wondered if that's what she could see in his eyes, if that's why she tensed. With his hands already there he could feel his fingers press against her lower back, urging her ever so slightly closer.

"Oh, yeah..." Jesse had forgotten all about Robbie's attempt to ask Isabel to prom–unsurprising given how busy he had been that night. But damn... had he been pining after her all this time? He should really start to pay attention to the things happening around him. ""No, Ty. I didn't." He turned to Isabel, "I didn't. I've been with Faye since the end of junior year, when do you think I had the time?" That was when something triggered in his memory; something that might actually be pretty relevant to their current situation. "Oh shit..."