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when georges bataille wrote, “no greater desire exists than a wounded person’s need for another wound” & when gillian flynn wrote, “a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort” & when ocean vuong wrote, “sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you’ve been ruined” & when lisa m. basile wrote, “did you inherit a sickness? did you blame god? do you believe in god? do you believe in yourself? are you still on fire? did you ever put out the fire?” & when stephen a. guirgis wrote, “why didn't you make me good enough so that you could’ve loved me?”

life will not always solely be survival mode. it will be really living instead of just staying alive.

when you let go of people you are painfully seeking approval or love from, you return to yourself. you return to what feels truer to you and to what brings you happiness. you are reminded that life does not always have to feel bad, that you do not always have to feel like you aren’t enough, that what you want for yourself and your future goes beyond a single person’s regard of you. you notice the energy start to shift and flow more fluidly. pay attention to all of this.

doing your best doesn’t mean you have to work until exhaustion. doing your best doesn’t mean you have to give it 100% all of the time. doing your best can be working until you’ve hit your limit and then respecting your limit.

apply for the job even if you’re confident you aren’t going to get it. submit that scholarship application even if you think there a hundreds of other people who are more deserving than you because you will never know what you are capable of until you try. you didn’t get the job? you didn’t get the scholarship? then figure out why. was it because you’re unqualified or didn’t have enough extra-curriculars?  if you don’t get the ideal results, make the effort to figure out why and use that as guidance to achieve it next time. don’t be afraid to fail - it’s a clear representation of where you are and how you can improve.

not every friendship is going to last. people will change and so will you, and as a result of that, the atmosphere in your friendship can too. letting go of the friendship doesn’t mean forgetting all of your memories with them; it doesn’t mean you don’t have love for them anymore. don’t hold on to friendships just because of how long you’ve been friends - friendship isn’t measured in time. sometimes, you have to let go; sometimes it’s the most liberating thing you can do.

initially, things will always seem like the end of the world. it’s so common to exaggerate and be dramatic about events. don’t say or do anything until you’ve given yourself time to cool off. take some deep breaths. think about the other person’s feelings and perspective. you will consistently say or do something you regret when you act out of anger. it’s normal to feel like one turn of events will be the end of the world but it rarely ever is when you give yourself time to process the situation and act accordingly.

stop focusing on all of the things you could have done better and start focusing on everything you’ve done right. embrace all of your small victories. be vocal about how proud you are of yourself for pushing through challenging days. once you start acknowledging all of your effort and progress, no one’s words of encouragement or support will mean more to you than your own. if you’re going to make someone proud, let that someone be yourself.

you don’t need to be productive every second of every day. at a certain point, excessive productivity becomes self-destruction. learn how to recognize when you need a break and understand that you are deserving of it, even when you think you aren’t.

over the years, i’ve learned that a lot of the events that you don’t really want to go to, or the ones where you’re worried about not having anyone to talk to, or the ones where you’re just a second from backing out, are the ones you should go to. they’re usually the ones where you make the best memories.

be proud of all of your small victories. you only snoozed your alarm twice today instead seven times. you changed out of pyjamas and into actual clothes. you found a new song that makes you want to dance. you smiled at a stranger and they smiled back. life doesn’t have to be all about getting first place every time or always being the best. a win is still a win, no matter how small.

i am so incredibly proud of you for every obstacle you managed to overcome, big or small. you are doing amazing.

people don’t need to know everything about you and your life. you’re allowed to keep things private. privacy is where you’ll find peace.

you can disagree with someone’s choices and still honour their right to make them.

you deserve a season of kindness, so be patient with yourself and forgiving. make room for joys both big and small. remind yourself that you are worthy. move less from fear and more from love.