Primadonna Girl

“Solids will always be in whether you want to believe it or not,” Vanessa argued. She rolled her eyes at the younger woman. “I do still have fun. Except I usually do it in a pair of heels, tight jeans, and an even tighter shirt,” she explained. She sighed, looking at Brittany before ultimately nodding. “Of course it is,” she said. As Brittany continued, Vanessa tried to think of an answer to all of what was just said to her. “I have been working a lot. Shaving my legs has not been my priority. A total makeover? Is that really necessary?” she asked. “I get off in an hour,” she said. “Assuming I don’t get pulled into an emergency surgery.”

“Yeah and they’ll always be boring.” Brittany countered, proud of her argument. “ Jeans and a tight shirt, how 90′s, and if we were going to Coyote Ugly then that’d be totally fine, but I’m talking about a real club, not a dive bar with like, frat boys and bikers. You need a LBD and some killer-dangerous red bottoms. I’m thinking something to amp up the cleav’ and maybe even backless for added sexiness.” Brittany clapped as she described the ideal dress, excited about the idea of a makeover as much as she was to have an excuse to go shopping again. “ What? For cereal? Of course it’s necessary! A, that’s gross and you’re overdue for a waxing I’m sure now, and two, your have to get husband number two while you still have good skin and you aren’t gonna find a guy who makes a salary that matches yours in a place where the serve you beer still in the bottle. Trust me, you are so gonna find a hot guy once I fix you up and he’s going to be so loaded you wont even need to work anymore.”

Mason just looked at her confused. “ Okay having a joke and making fun of someone are two totally different things.” He replied as he looked at her shaking his head.  “ I wasn’t making fun of you or even lying, I was just having a laugh, I wanted to put a smile on your face.” He replied as he looked at her for a moment. “Do you always take things so literally?” 

“Um, yeah, I mean, if you aren’t telling the truth, then that’s basically lying, right? I mean, you wouldn’t tell somebody you owned a yacht if you didn’t really own a yacht, would you? Then they’d ask to see that yacht and you don’t have and find out that you were lying. Unless it’s to save your lie or whatever, there’s not really much of a joke in telling a lie.”

Georgia sighed as she wrapped her arm around her friend, she was a little hurt that her friend thought that of her. “ Britt this is me you’re talking to, you know your best friend and the person, who could never be mean to anyone.” She replied as she placed a kiss on her friends head. “ I love you just the way you are, and I’d kill anyone who gave you a hard time… You are my family and always will be.”

Her face was serious, which was rare for Brittany as she was difficult to upset. Still, whenever she felt like someone was teasing her for being less than bright, she got defensive. “Fine... You’re right, it just felt like you were calling me stupid and I hate when everybody thinks I’m dumb because I didn’t got to Harvard or whatever. “ She grumbled, sighing away her anger as she replaced her scowl with a smile. “ Let’s grab some lunch since I’m totally starving and we can go over this plan of yours more.”

“I guess you and I just have a difference of opinion. I don’t think flowers and nice things are necessary when it comes to making someone feel special. I’d rather someone just be a decent, caring person, rather than showering me with stuff,” she told her. Delta was one of those people who truly disliked Valentines Day, and she always had. “You think they’re hard? You must not be looking in the right places. Either that or you must be too picky about who you’re hooking up with,” Delta said with a small smile. 

Shrugging, Britt didnt’ mind having a different opinion from someone, always being laid back about that and never forcing hers on anyone. “ That’s chill, I mean, everyone likes different things; my one friend Stephanie like, hates to be touched. Like even by her boyfriend, she’s like so grossed out by PDA but I totally love hand holding.” She smiled. Again, Brittany shrugged.  “I mean, I don’t think I’m that picky, I just have standards. I like a guy who’s tall and well dressed, smells good, pays for my drinks or dinner, has a nice car, doesn’t talk about himself too much, doesn’t have bad breath, doesn’t get too rough in bed and doesn’t try to talk me into not using a condom. If that’s being picky then yeah, I guess I am, but guys are like, really gross most of the time and I am so not riding the bus back to anyone’s place for a hookup.”

Ethan couldn’t help but feel for the young woman. Not because he was pitying her but because he thought that relationships like the ones she was describing were toxic and not suited to make someone happy. He let out a small laugh but his expression remained warm and friendly - it was how Ethan was after all and he smiled at her, tiling this head. “I - can see that, yeah! I watched an episode or two but from what you’re saying, I don’t think this would be for me. There’s a lot of hard work behind it too though…at least for some people,” he added with a chuckle before it grew into another rumbling laugh when she pointed out they were old. “That is probably the most accurate thing about business men I ever heard. I can only hope I’ll never turn into one of them - no offense!” He said quickly. Ethan’s frown returned as she went on and he raised a brow. “That is awful. It’s just not right…I believe that in a relationship, both partners gotta be equal. You can’t expect someone to devote all their time to you, especially not when it comes to going out and seeing friends because at the end of the day, we’re still individuals,” Ethan ranted on for a moment before shaking his head. “I know exactly what you mean, even though I was usually in your shoes,” he said with a grin. “Relationships can be a beautiful thing but sometimes you have to know when the time is right to just let them go.”

There was a look of mild confusion on Brittanys face, shrugging as she wasn’t sure why she would take offense to it. Beard guy seemed to know a lot about relationships -- or at least talk like he did, which Britt found interesting. Still, she was still rooted in her spoiled opinion of romance. “ I mean yeah, not like all their time -- they have to sleep and go to the bathroom and stuff, obvs, but like, what’s so important that you can’t text me back till like an hour later? I guess I’mold fashioned but I think guys should be gentleman, you know? Open doors, pull out your chair, write ‘I love you’ on your Facebook wall...  Relationships are about effort and if you can’t take the time to put effort into showing you love me in front of everybody then why should I take the time to make an effort to give you a blowie? It’s like you said , you have to be equals.”

“I really don’t think that’s the point. That just sounds really selfish and needy,” Delta told her. “Maybe that’s just how I feel though, maybe I’m in the minority,” she said softly. “They smell okay. I personally wouldn’t count them as a smell I overly enjoy, but to each their own. That’s sweet that he did that for you.” Delta wrung her hands together. “Yeah, I’ve gathered that much,” she said. “I’m sure you’ll find someone else who will hopefully be a lot better.”

“Of course it’s the point -- I mean, why is it selfish to want nice things and to feel cared about? It’s like, human nature to want to feel special.” Brittany shrugged. She always heard some people didn’t like the holiday, but she always assumed that it was because they were single, never thinking there was a practical reason behind it. “ Well, I mean, here’s hoping, cause hookups are so hard these days and I mean, us gals have needs, you know what I mean? Needs that a casual thing doesn’t bother with like a partner would, you know?.”

Eli raised a brow when the woman disclosed what this really was about and he snorted. “Right,” he muttered before squinting, not quite getting this approach considering that his own attempts at getting back with exes had only ever been pitiful and he’d never had to make his partner’s jealous - it had usually been a mutual decision to cut ties entirely. Most of the time at least. “And you can’t just tell him that why?” He wondered with a confused expression resting on his features, his eyebrows still furrowed with a shake of his head. “I mean, no offense, but that’s like - the kindergarten level of getting the message across to someone you don’t give a shit about anymore,” Eli told her bluntly, shrugging. He’d always been rather upfront about his opinions, not quite seeing the point in having a filter considering he wasn’t really looking to make friends anyways. Then again, his words often came out harsher than they were intended to and most of the time he didn’t even realize that he was being a little out of line every now and then. Looking back at her, Eli couldn’t help but huff out a laugh. “Wow,” was all he could get out at the words she’d used to describe him because even though Eli never failed to brag a little and act as if he was rather self-absorbed, cute and hot or appealing, really, were not the adjectives he’d find to be the most fitting. “Eli,” he replied after a brief, awkward pause of him shooting her a subtle, crooked grin. “Eli Jackson,” the male completed as he cleared his throat and extended his hand towards her. “And you are…?”

“Because,” she all but groaned in disgust. “ Guys don’t always hear rejection as rejection, obvs, and they’re like animals or whatever. When they see another man they get challenged or they decide they can’t win a fight with the bigger guy and they get scared or whatever. Like the wolves and lions on those Animal Planet shows.” She shrugged, knowing there was logic with what she was saying and sighing. “ I’d rather him get the message by seeing me with another guy and not have to have them pee around me to mark their territory or whatever. Gross...” Brittany shuddered.

Flirting was almost a natural instinct for Brittany, like self preservation was for most. With her phone away, she focused all her attention on the man next to her, finger twirling the edges of her hair as she smiled at him. “ Eli... That’s a really sexy name. I’m Brittany, with two T’s and an A, not an e like the singer.” She clarified. So Eli... Are you a local, or new tot he city?”

Mason just stood there as he listened to her rolling his eyes, he couldn’t stop himself this time.  “ You do know what sarcasm is right?  Because I just went big on it and somehow you still think I am telling the truth. In the real world, you’d be locked up for doing something like that if you were hoping to work with children.”

“Wait....so, you basically lied to make fun of me?” Brittany’s face stiffened. “That’s not really nice... Why wouldn’t I believe you? There are like, actual people who do that kind of thing cause they can’t afford surgery or whatever to be the right gender, you’re basically making fun of them. Dude, that is so not cool.”

I can’t believe I had to spell that out to you, it wasn’t exactly hard to work out.” She replied as she looked at her laughing shaking her head. “But you’re right it is brilliant, it’s a good thing I am the brains in this and not you.” She teased winking at her friend playfully. “I have always been smart, that’s why you need me.” She teased again placing a kiss on her cheek. “Oh god here we go again.” She replied rolling her eyes.  “ You know it’s a good job that I love you so much and don’t want to change you.”

Brittany's face was quick to fall flat. Sure she wasn’t the brightest -- she grew up hearing everyone tell her that, but the last person she expected to point it out was Georgia. “So , you’re saying I’m stupid cause  I couldn’t figure out your little code? Isn’t that the whole point of a code?” She grimaced.  Her arms were folded across her chest now, blue eyes narrowed at the brunette. “ Lucky you’re the brains because I’m so dumb, right? That’s what you’re saying? You know, I didn’t ask for you help, Georgia -- you offered it. I know I’m not smart or whatever, but you don’t have to be such a bitch about it.” 

Ethan’s brows only continued to rise as the blonde went on and he couldn’t help the rather amused expression that settled on his features. The way the woman looked at the situation at hand seemed almost a little naive to him and he snickered when she pointed out that the lack of her dad’s dating history with boys was something that dragged his status of knowing a lot about relationships. “That seems awfully sad though. Only having friends in the business. Personally, I enjoy having friends from all over the place just to share a few more opinions and point of views…talking business all day every day is so exhausting,” he pointed out before he bit his lip, shaking his head. “Oh, Jesus…it almost sounds like you only ever dated absolute douche bags then. Not even guys but boys,” Ethan said, crinkling his nose as he shook his head. “Those aren’t people you should be wasting your time on and I stand by what I said - if he wasn’t worth it, I wouldn’t even waste so much time plotting how to get the message across. It doesn’t sound like he’s worth it whether your dads know each other or not,” the older male told her before he let out a laugh and shot her a beam. “Why thank you! I hope that I don’t come across like I’m stupid,” he added as he dragged a hand over his beard absently.

The man’s face seemed to be saying more than she could understand, but he almost looked...worried? Britt couldn't understand why, but she only shrugged at his words carelessly. “ I mean, that’s how business works? You play golf and have dinners and talk and stuff and then you make money or whatever. Your friends are the only people you can trust with your money, that’s why Daddy’s accountant and lawyer are the same guys he went to boarding school with. I don’t understand like half of what they say when they talk, but from what I do get, the business world is like...more cutthroat than America’s Next Top Model.” Brittany scoffed. “ Have you seen Dynasty? Cause it’s just like that. ” Britt nodded. “ But like,t he guys aren’t as hot... And they’re all really old.” She sighed. With a chuckle, Brittany shook her head at the bearded stranger, brushing off his worry once again. “ Not all of them are douche bags, but like, most guys are, you know what I mean? Like, they like to go out without you but get all annoyed when you go tot he club with your girls because that’s the night they want to go out or whatever?  And they say girls are high maintenance, right? My ex, Brody, took so long to get ready when we would go out and I’d be sitting in his BMW falling asleep while he made sure his hair looked good before we walked in. Like, gross, you know what I mean?”

“True.” He replied as he looked at her laughing at her little joke, hearing her question he felt like rolling his eyes, why did some people think that a man couldn’t be a nanny? “ No, it’s not I go to work every day dressed as a woman, everyone always falls for it, I am living a double life.” He replied in a sarcastic tone as he looked at her.

“Oh my God -- like Ms. Doubtfire? I love that movie! Do you use all the makeup and stuff he used or do you just shave? You do have a pretty lady-shaped face, so you’re lucky. My friend Erin had to spend like a month in the hospital after she transition on what was it...? Facial feminineization? Whatever, they basically shaved her jaw or something so it was more slender and that sounds like, crazy painful, so you’re totes lucky.”

Well B and G stands for Brittany and Georgia, your code name would be B and mine would be G.” She replied as she looked at her friend, unsure of how she got so confused. “First off we need to see if Ryan is willing to help out by pretending to be your boyfriend because we can’t carry out our plan if he’s not willing to help us.” She replied as she looks at her friend. “Spy outfits?  Good idea! I hope you have one planned for me as well.”

“Oh my God, that is literally brilliant! That way nobody will know it’s us! Good thinking, girl!” Britt grinned, patting Georgia on the back. “ You are so smart -- And they say models are dumb. Suck on that, haters!” She giggled. “Well I’m sure he’d be into it if you just show him my picture. When you see him just pull up my Insta and show him the pics I took from St. Barts in the red bikini. There’s no way he’d turn that down so long as he’s into chicks.”

“You know that thing I do with the board that has the wheels? They really like that.” He teased forgoing feeling offended by how surprised she seemed by the deal. Brittany was a lot of things, but Six had yet to see her being malicious. He lifted up a baggy pant leg exposing a fresh pair of converse he had designed himself. “They’re calling them the Sick Six Sticks Collection. I can get you a pair if you want. They don’t come out until the summer.” He felt a sense of pride in his accomplishment, after all it had come from exclusively using his time and energy to fuck around in life. “I hope it’s not beneficiary.” He mumbled through a chuckle as he wheels in his brain started to turn. “You ever prank someone before? We’ll make it easy, plan the whole thing. All that shit’s fake anyway. We can get one of my boys to hit on you, and we can fake a fight… Or you can jump out and scare me… Oh! Or we can do a pregnancy scare video. It doesn’t matter. I don’t worry about my brand that much.”

“You mean the skateboarding?” She asked, brow cocked. Looking down, she gave an impressed look to the sneakers, finding them cool in spite of not really being a sneakers kind of girl. “ Sure, I’ll take a pair. Ooh, you should totally do a giveaway! That’s like, serious promotion.” She added with a nod. A confused look on her face, whatever joke he was trying to make clearly went right over her head, Britt moving on from it quickly. “ Well, not really, but I mean, it can’t be that hard, it’s kinda just lying and then laughing about it, right? I did that when I told my dad that I wasn’t going to come out of my room until he got me Beyonce tickets..” She shrugged. “ So wait.... Is this prank happening before, after, or during our date?”