Fuck

you and me are going to outlive this website. you and me are going to outlive everything. one day it will just be you and me

some people have tagged this with their various favourite fictional characters or even worse, their friends and lovers. let me be crystal fucking clear. it’s going to be you. and me.

this is why everyone on this website is a virgin

I’m not gonna fuck the telemarketer man

the coworker who is too maternal and has correctly identified you as the runt of the office and won’t let you eat your lunch on break so you starve quicker and die

the small stinker spends time with me on the couch

7pm to 10pm on a weeknight is 30 minutes

I usually hate seeing people being stiffed for their labor but I think it’s very funny ICE agents have not been getting their $50k sign on bonus, many are still waiting for their healthcare benefits to kick in and some are complaining they haven’t been getting their paychecks. You sold your soul to the Exploiting and Abusing People Agency and they started exploiting you too? Wow. Crazy.

Cats have to put up with being picked up and getting kissies and being cradled like the little baby and it’s so funny to me because like. They chose that. They domesticated themselves

"I suppose I shall tolerate the kisses from mama and papa... it will result in my kin 2000 years from now getting treats and scratchy posts for free..."

Have you guys noticed how much the internet/technology just does not listen to you anymore? I click “don’t show this artist” on Spotify and I get recommended a music video by them on the front page. I click “skip this update” on a pop up every time I open a file organization app and it’s right back there every time. O click unsubscribe on a newsletter and it keeps showing up in my inbox!! I click “delete my account” and the next time I open the website they suggest I “reactivate”.