Hunter Clarington

Hunter: In truth I have been avoiding the majority of interactions recently. However, thus far things seem to be more of the same.  Hunter: How are you dealing with things, Lucas?

Hunter: Interesting. Tony? As in, Martinez? He teaches Spanish, correct?

Luke: How are you doing with all this family around?

Hunter: In truth I have been avoiding the majority of interactions recently. However, thus far things seem to be more of the same.  Hunter: How are you dealing with things, Lucas?

Has this conversation simply been a reference to Dr. Seuss? That is positive, at the very least. I encourage you to continue avoiding such items. That is fairly accurate, which is precisely why I prefer to have my submissive make things in my suite. I am sure you could do the same, should you wish to do so. 

Silence filled the space between them as Hunter’s mind shifted into overdrive while attempting to formulate a minimally semi-appropriate response to Lucas’ question. However, it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, the Dominant couldn’t come up with anything from his arsenal of pre-prepared responses. Breathing deeply, Hunter inhaled through his nose, eyes falling to focus on the floor beneath his feet while his stomach knotted at the thought of opening himself up, even just a little, and even to his brother. “Sometimes.” He admitted despite his tone being barely above a whisper. “I did not used to. Not with much more than a passing thought that is. Recently I have been considering it more frequently. Since Sebastian.” Hunter’s eyes bounced up to glance quickly at his brother before returning to the floor. “You are going to disagree, Lucas, but it is worth saying that I do not think that is true. Not entirely, anyway. We cannot change how we were raised. We cannot change being Claringtons. And, we most assuredly cannot change what that means, and the expectations that holds. However, I am coming to learn that there are...Many other factors involved in things like this. Like that.” Arching an eyebrow, Hunter allowed his gaze to land fully on Lucas, and held it there. “Interesting. I have never known you to be the type to allow yourself to be confined by anything, and yet...” He allowed the sentence trail, giving Lucas room to respond.

When Lucas moved Hunter looked up, studying his youngest brother while he considered how he might respond. The conversation itself was hard for them both on numerous levels, given that things like this simply weren’t discussed in the Clarington home, and that was just the beginning. Listening intently to what Lucas was describing, understanding in ways he wasn’t sure he could totally articulate. But, given the topic of conversation and how serious Hunter himself knew it to be, he knew he couldn’t simply allow the line of discussion to be dropped. It was important, not only for himself, but for Lucas. Truthfully Hunter had been asking himself the same sort of questions for a while now, and certainly for longer than just the start of the most recent semester. Inhaling deeply, Hunter forced his gaze to his brother, wanting the other to know how serious he was when he spoke. “I understand where you are coming from. I do not want you to believe I do not.” He began, clasping his hands together to stop himself from fidgeting, something he never did and hated to see others do. “I believe it is important that I tell you I am impressed with your diligence, yet I am not surprised. You always have been fastidious.” Cocking an eyebrow, Hunter continued. “It is not a bad topic to research. Aside from how we were raised, it is important that we each come into our own as Dominants, not only in the familial sense but in the societal sense as well. I myself have often wondered, and still do on more occasions than I care to admit, if I am honest. Which, as we both know, I always am.” Shifting, Hunter considered how he might proceed. “I am almost certain it is unnecessary for me to share the fact that my feelings for Sebastian predate our relationship considerably. Why is it, Lucas, that you believe I waited such an extended time to both admit and act on those feelings?” Taking in a deep breath, Hunter did his best to steady himself before speaking the truth he knew he would need to in this moment. “I asked myself those same questions. I was haunted by those same thoughts. My beliefs that I could and would never be enough for a man like Sebastian overrode my logic, and my ability to reason. I say all of that to say, Lucas, that I have found over the past several months that perhaps there are occasions in which it serves us well to simply...Leap.” Silence hung between them while he considered the remainder of Lucas’ thoughts. “Do you believe that you are alone in that ‘damage’, Lucas?” He asked. “Facing ourselves is a hard thing for every human being on this planet. However, do you feel that it would not provide at least some small form of relief? Allowing yourself to face those things?” 

"I don't know... Don't you ever think about it? What kind of people we'd be if we'd been raised differently? If we'd had- If we'd been taught what a family's supposed to feel like? If we'd been told caring for someone was a part of being human?" He asked, shaking his head, as he looked out Hunter's window, them having stopped at his place after their now weekly morning swim. "I can improve many a thing about myself, Hunt. I can't improve this. I can't relearn this now."

Silence filled the space between them as Hunter’s mind shifted into overdrive while attempting to formulate a minimally semi-appropriate response to Lucas’ question. However, it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, the Dominant couldn’t come up with anything from his arsenal of pre-prepared responses. Breathing deeply, Hunter inhaled through his nose, eyes falling to focus on the floor beneath his feet while his stomach knotted at the thought of opening himself up, even just a little, and even to his brother. “Sometimes.” He admitted despite his tone being barely above a whisper. “I did not used to. Not with much more than a passing thought that is. Recently I have been considering it more frequently. Since Sebastian.” Hunter’s eyes bounced up to glance quickly at his brother before returning to the floor. “You are going to disagree, Lucas, but it is worth saying that I do not think that is true. Not entirely, anyway. We cannot change how we were raised. We cannot change being Claringtons. And, we most assuredly cannot change what that means, and the expectations that holds. However, I am coming to learn that there are...Many other factors involved in things like this. Like that.” Arching an eyebrow, Hunter allowed his gaze to land fully on Lucas, and held it there. “Interesting. I have never known you to be the type to allow yourself to be confined by anything, and yet...” He allowed the sentence trail, giving Lucas room to respond.