Briar!!

my liege you cannot trust this buffoon. he doesn’t even begin every other sentence with “my liege.” he‘ll never whisper in your ear the way i do it, my liege. sire. your fuckableness

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

we all got that 1 friend that brings a sadomasochistic vibe 2 the hangout

i'd like to formally apologise for my behaviour last night, which i can only describe as "fucking badass"

Who wants to hear a DIY tiling pro tip that the experts won't tell you

Yes!

Do not drop your phone into the bucket of tile adhesive. This step is actually completely unnecessary and massively complicates the tiling process.

You say this but my uncle is a tiler and he swears by the “drop phone in putty bucket” technique. I think you’re just posting this for clout

Your uncle is caught up in a tradition that he was taught as an apprentice that he never questioned. Modern putty doesn't require phone, the formula has changed.

MY uncle says some customers still demand the phone putty technique because it "doesn't look right otherwise"

Drop an empty phone case in and those customers can't tell the fucking difference because there is no fucking difference.

My mum renovated houses for thirty years, she says “you’re half right, but in some cases - particularly in houses built before 1930 - the phone does add some benefit. Could be a tablet too if you’ve an old one in the garage. And anyone who says it’s got to be a particular model is just being precious about it, whatever the forums say.”

IPhones and tablets where invented in 1898, what did they do before then?

Nothing, tiles were invented in 1899.

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO BE WELL-FED AND WELL-RESTED

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO BE WELL-FED AND WELL-RESTED

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO BE WELL-FED AND WELL-RESTED

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO BE WELL-FED AND WELL-RESTED