castaway

that would be his first reaction to that (even though the whole situation sounded extremely morbid) if he was in conditions of actually doing so. but he isn't. in fact, the thought of laughing alone already send signals of pain through his wounds and muscles and he regrets even thinking about it. brian doesn't have an answer for that—he only paid attention to what the guy had to say and, in all honestly, his name is a different sound to hear in people's voices. it's uncommon for a korean to keep an english name, yet he did it, and his ears seemed trained to catch whenever people said it.

he looks at the guy as much as he can, barely moving as he listens to him—again as attentive as possible, trying not to let the pain or any other thing distract his brain for being certain (or almost) of what's happening. he swallows carefully, closing his eyes for a second with the pain that follows. "fair enough," brian manages to mutter, not finding any better argument to go against the guy. how could he, even? it isn't like he could 1) argue with someone and 2) fight his way out if he felt in danger. he is reminded, once again, that if the guy wanted him dead, he would've let him on the street, it would be much easier, wouldn't cause any bloody mess (literally). "if i didn't die... of pain... yet," he starts, eyes closed and face frowning with how difficult this was. god, why did it need to be so hard to simply talk? "then i might survive... and not be a waste," he breathless completes, eyes opening to look at his supposed savior beside him.

not knowing what to expect from what she has to say—though he could feel she's just messing with him, as always—he waits quietly, eyebrows raising.

once she is done, he just looks at her, as serious and indifferent as he can. but it doesn't last much, a second later he's laughing. "hey!" he tries to come up with a way to defend himself, but he really doesn't have any. "ok, fine, you're right. i am also an ass for not calling you," deciding to give in instead of coming up with excuses (even though they may be true—it would be pretty much the same reasons why she wouldn't have time to call him either), he chuckles.

so it’s with a small smile and a sympathetic twinge when joohyun spots a familiar face past several rows of discounted medication, towards the back of the pharmacy. and it’s a face she’s missed, even though it still pains her to see a slightly rigid step in the way brian walks towards her now. 

that's the very first thing he thinks once finally getting home. he stares at the empty apartment, which had been empty for the past two days while he was away at mingyu's place, being taken care of. he still felt slightly uncomfortable—not only physically, tired and in pain, but also thinking of how he must've been a bother for the guy during those days. brian never complained about things, but those days—well, he met this new side of him. he couldn't really help, in fact... he's still angry at all the happening, and that only triggers his anxiety more.

not to talk about his dearest friend insomnia, of course. sleeping these days had been basically out of tiredness and thanks to the meds the guy had given him. now, at home, he knows things would be more complicated.

he doesn't even enter the apartment, closing the door behind himself and heading downstairs to go to the pharmacy. he may look like shit right now, his face full of bruises, eyes swollen, arm in a sling, but at least his two legs were the least injured parts of his body, allowing him to actually walk. it's painful, in a way, considering he does have to move his torso while walking, but better than nothing. he's stubborn enough not to accept lying down for weeks. that he wouldn't do.

brian would never feel bothered around youngjae, period. he finds amusing how the boy is and, besides, he likes to see his progression at getting better. if he stays away for too long, it isn't the same thing.

finishing his coffee, the blonde nods slowly, thinking. "i have to head to the station in the morning. you don't need to leave early, and you won't wake me up before than i have to, i am sure about that." he says that thinking, mostly, how he doubts he will sleep at all. he had too much coffee and is worried about other things, it's possible he would either not sleep or just nap a few hours.

"i am," he agrees, avoiding to nod with the small pain on the back of his neck. "but hey, i am alive—besides, you may feel a bit relieved the people after me don't want to kill me... they just want to bring pain," brian would frown at that, but his face muscles seem a bit frozen, swollen. "so... watch your back, will you?" he adds, a bit worried, looking at her. that's what he's more worried ever since he got attacked, after all. he fears for causing problems for seungeon, and his other friends.

breathing in quietly, he listens to what she has to say, eyes looking at her, lips pressed in a small worried expression as she mentions not sleeping. he doesn't interrupt, though, letting her talk. "wait," he ends up interrupting anyways, "station? did you sneak in?" he almost smiles proudly at her for doing it herself, instead of asking his help—then again, maybe she did... but his phone's dead so even though she tried, he wouldn't know. "i am already recovering, don't be lame," brian sighs, placing his good hand against his waist, where he was shot, like he could contain the pain from spreading when he moves a bit.

again, he feels nervous at his decisions. he shouldn't be going alone—actually, he shouldn't be going, period. but he can't help his curiosity, his need for answers. and, of course, he's starting to truly believe jinyoung is alive.

it takes him just a few minutes to drive to the station and let his car parked on the street. and then all he has to do is wait. he wonders if the person who will get him will do like in the movies—blindfold him and all—or if there were other techniques for him not to see where they were going. it's only when the car arrives and stops right in front of him that he notices. the windows are darker than it's actually allowed by the law, but it seems no one's complaining. he opens the door and gets inside the car, noticing the view from inside is exactly the same one as the outside—impossible to actually see. smart, he thinks, noticing the driver for the first time. the man greets him and brian raises his eyebrows slightly. he is almost sure he's seen him before, but his memory is really something he isn't proud of. while the other seems to know him, brian just greets back like he remembers who that is and gets quiet.

"i wasn't sure it was really you i had to pick up," he said, like that explained everything. brian chuckles, shaking his head and muttering a “it's ok”. he is not bothered.

still nervous, though. everything feels pretty nice and normal—except the fact he feels the car moving but doesn't see anything from the backseat. his leg is shaking nervously and he can't help it as he plays with his phone on his hand. weird, to be honest—he could easily track where they are going with it and the driver, besides seeming to know him, doesn't seem to care about it. it’s when the car stops and he's allowed to open the door that he finds out why: jaerim's place.

brian has to laugh out of relief for a second, shaking his head. that explained why he knew the guy who picked him up and why he didn't worry he could track the place—he's been there before. quite a lot, actually... though he hasn't seen jaerim for the past months.

"thank you for the ride," he tells the guy after instructed where exactly jinyoung was. then, again, brian feels his heart getting lighter—then it was jinyoung indeed. there was no way salvatore would pull a prank like this, right? he hopes so.

he follows the corridors and turns a few others until he finally gets to the hospital rooms. soon enough, he knocks on a door, the one he was told his friend was, and opens slowly, peeking inside. he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he sees jinyoung asleep.

all of this does sound suspicious and, as far as he knows, he's just walking right towards death, probably towards the same thing that probably happened to the male he's actually talking to throw texts.

chewing the inside of his cheek, he puts his coat on anyway and takes a while thinking. he could (and should) message someone and let them know what he's doing. even if it's a text, to say he is going to solve something and if he doesn't reply to their calls or messages for the next two hours, to look for him.

yet, he doesn't know who to do that with. jinyoung would actually be his first choice in this case, if he had to choose an spd, and it isn't like he is a possibility now. a few other names pop into his head and he makes the decision to text one of his colleagues at the station, who wouldn't question what he is doing, but would follow a normal procedure about this.

right after he does that, he goes back in opening the conversation with jinyoung.

"don't worry," he finally brings himself to say. "i am sure he is ok." he nods slowly, taking another sip of his coffee. "probably just overworking, his department is way more complicated than mine," and with that, he decides to stop talking about him. again, he would let youngjae to find out on his own time and not let the boy freaking out now.

it doesn't take long till he finishes his hotteok—he always ate fast, even knowing he shouldn't. but busy days routines keep following him, even though he has enough time to eat on his own time.

he turns his head to look at youngjae when he starts talking again, holding his mug between his hands. a quiet smile grows on his lips as he controls a quiet laugh at how polite the boy could be—sometimes brian would still question how everything came to turn into this for him, but he didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, so he never really asked.

this is nice. he doesn't help in thinking that whenever the boy is over. the first few times, however, were usually complicated. it took time till youngjae trusted he wouldn't do anything to him—and brian doesn't blame him. he was abused before, in many ways, it should be hard for him to trust others, he should be careful. but their relation grew with the past few months, it became a friendship, a trustworthy one in which brian would do anything for him.