09.09.15

I want nothing more than to be in your arms. I can't wait for school to be over so I can move in with you and we can finally start our lives. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be with someone like you, so caring and loving. You’re perfect. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you, even though I have my bad days you’re still there. You never leave me when I need you the most, you’re such an amazing person. I love you with all my heart and soul, to the moon and never back <3

Will you let me know how my essay is ?

I write this as all the memories hit me for some reason. As much as I want to cry I think look how far you have come. You have been treated like shit all your life brought down because of who you were . Going to school and pretending everything was “fine” and placing that fake fucking smile on your face . Trying to cover the scars upon your thighs and carvings on your wrist. You cried out for help but not to hard because god forbid you don’t want to be an attention seeker. Only few knew my stories few knew that my mom and ex step mom fought every night . They didn’t know that in that I was being told it was my fault for everything. I was worthless and numb to the world . For months I went to school filled with emotions and ready to burst at any moment. Yet no one knew because again you tell your self “ DON’T BE AN ATTENTION SEEKER” . Don’t let them see you upset. You come home lock yourself up and wonder “ Do I even matter?, Would you care if I died?, Would everyone be happier without me ?. All these negative thoughts ran through my brain stuck like glue. You finish school with the thought of still being worthless and lonely .Till you meet Her. She makes everything great and tells you a fresh start might helo . We didn’t know our relationship would be judged. So you  Leave to your fathers thinking a fresh start would be nice. Ha you thought wrong . “You need to lose weight your getting fat, you don’t do anything , you’ll never get anywhere, She is just using you.” those were the horrible things said said to me . Look where I am know FUCKERS first semester of college began and guess what ? The girl you said was “just using me “ Our 2 years is coming up fast . SO FUCK YOU . Your fake apology means nothing . I may feel better about who I am but I am still emotionally scarred with the horrible things you said to me. Today I feel like a better person. I am promised to the girl I soon plan to make my wife, but for now those are put off until I graduate. I’m Thankful to have a partner who supports me whole and wants me to do better with school . Today I am one year clean of cutting , and working on my career to help people who were in my position open up and let out their feelings.

Words cannot describe the love that I have for you. You are my soulmate , my best friend,my everything . I fall deeper in love with you every day <3

Only 5 days till I get to see the love of my life 😍😍😍

I look at you and I see my future , I love you so fucking much Amanda Faye ! You’re my world and so much more ! I cant wait move in with you and be with you all the time ! #girlfriend #8months #090915

I have never been so happy in my entire life , this girl had came into my life when I was stuck in a depression . She spent countless hours on the phone with me , dealing with my emotional self and making everything seem better. Now we have been together 8 months now and still counting ! I honestly can say i have found the girl of my dreams ! Amanda Faye Umler I love you with all my fucking heart <3

My babies are so damn cute !!! #09092015 <3 #iloveher #lesbians #girlswholikegirls