The Breathe Network: Embodied Trauma Healing

“All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. | A commitment to uprooting rape culture requires a commitment to dismantling white supremacy, which exists alongside and also operates through many other systems of oppression. A commitment to preventing abuse requires a commitment to acknowledging and supporting those who’ve already survived it. A commitment to healing requires a commitment to let those who most intimately know the acute and collateral, personal and collective, individual and generational wounds, to lead. A commitment to being trauma-informed in our work is a commitment to learning about the unique impacts of collective and historical trauma, including both the vulnerabilities and the strengths woven through the stories and cells and living legacies of survivor communities. A commitment to restoring “the single garment of our destiny” is a commitment to reckoning with the past and present injustices that we have inherited, or enacted or benefited from and to rise towards our unique role in ushering in repair. Let us move forward in our anti-violence and trauma healing work with humility and grace and a commitment to center those survivors who’ve been multiply harmed by society, systems and movements alike, and whose access to healing and justice has been limited by overlapping financial, cultural, legal, physical and psychological barriers. When we recognize that what affects one affects us all, and frame our interconnection and interdependence as a resource, we can nurture the potential for healing, equity and love that remains abundantly available. Thank you to the following humans and orgs in the anti-violence and trauma healing fields for their fierce, embodied commitment to leading inclusive, transformational, healing justice work: @mirror.memoirs @blackwomensblueprint @metoomvmt @amitaswadhin @dr.thema @mia.mingus @sexpositive_families @empresskarenmrose @nalgonapositivitypride @wellsoulwellness @resmaamenakem @somaticwitch @forge_forward @healingjustice #collectivetrauma #collectivetraumahealing https://www.instagram.com/p/B7jJzmCgEZ0/?igshid=twocilb3pi2e

Sexual trauma takes away a person’s right to and experience of both physical and psychological sovereignty, agency and safety. It causes us to question our worth. It can destroy or hyper-concretize our boundaries in ways that feel beyond our control. It casts us away from ourselves and each other. It is a brutally efficient disruptor of our capacity to root into the here and now. It does all of this and more. While it will take sustained, interdisciplinary efforts and visioning to disrupt sexual trauma at the source, our intention remains unchanged: to serve as one of the supports - literal and/or figurative - for the restoration of a person’s fullest potential while they live on this earth as a survivor. We believe every survivor is worthy of adaptive forms of care, that they should be able to pay what is within their means and be deserving of expert support, that the voice of their body, psyche or soul can and must be honored in any healing and justice work they choose to engage. And, we know - in tissue aches and unsettling dreams and the undertows of dormant symptoms beckoning again - that access to healing doesn’t erase the harm. Healing meets the harm and preciously acknowledges it in a way that only the survivor can define. Survivors know some wounds cannot be disappeared even if they are unseen. We live with this truth. What healing enables is the recognition of what breathes beneath, around and into the wounds. Healing valorizes all the ways survivors got/get through and grew/grow through the pain, and it offers survivors some alternative tools to keep on keeping on. Healing gives us a glimpse of a future where harm is not central, or if it is - because harm lands and lingers unevenly for different people and communities - that there is the felt sense of something good, joyous and reparative, born of healing practices, to counterbalance its weight. Through our work we aim to amplify the massive and discrete ways in which trauma-informed, sliding-scale, holistic healing can reinforce sovereignty, agency and safety - and how when this happens in relationship, it is life-saving oxygen. Centering survivors’ healing is our mission, our passion and our honor. https://www.instagram.com/p/B6uVvfsgBlR/?igshid=n0ip8pcv7162

Healing is innate, however, it is not inevitable. Consider making a donation to @thebreathenetwork on #givingtuesday to help us increasingly remove the myriad and interlocking barriers that prevent so many sexual trauma survivors from accessing the healing they need and deserve. Thank you for your support! Link in profile. #survivor #sexualtrauma #nonlinearhealing #buildingresilience #mindbodysoul #embodiedjustice #nonprofit https://www.instagram.com/p/B5mUFYtgSjG/?igshid=17tbor401qrwh

"When we look at providing healing services we have to remember the messiness of being human. Trans people are among many who experience their humanness and messiness in these spaces, though we know that things can be harder for people with a certain set of life experiences. And, it's always going to be an individual thing. I try not say, 'all people that have X experience are going to automatically experience this’, however, it's important to look at trends of where there is difficulty. For example, this can translate into rural areas where there's a duality with trans folks' experiences. It might be that there's more bullying happening, yet on the other hand, a lot of rural communities are tight knit and supportive. So how do we find out when we're working with a trans survivor, what the experience was like for them? We can’t know if we don't develop a relationship with them and aren’t interested in a sensitive, gentle way. We can’t make assumptions about somebody's experience just because we know one piece of information about them. We have to acknowledge the complexities. If we say, 'I see the complexity you bring' it can go a long way in increasing safety in the healing relationship.” -michael munson, @forge_forward | Due to my own complexities, I've been away from social media. Have you ever felt so much was happening in your inner world, it was hard to find words? Like an intangible, yet fundamental shift was occurring, and thinking needed to give way for the reptilian and mammalian parts of you to come through? That has been me lately, though today, I feel a settling. Though it is the day after #TDOR, though the day has passed, the acts of remembrance, resilience, honoring, advocacy, solidarity and care with, among and alongside the trans community transcends the moment. Though the day has passed, these acts are necessary components of building a world where trans and nonbinary people are not targeted with acts of psychological, physical, sexual and spiritual harm coupled with policies that codify, normalize and minimize oppression. [Continued below] https://www.instagram.com/p/B5JTdCIAllz/?igshid=1956h0hqd3zab

”The word survivor means that we have survived. Something that warrants celebrating. And so, I am a survivor. And that's what I'm first. More than anything else. I have survived and I want that to be celebrated and I want that to be known. And again, I get chills all over my body when I say that because that is my truth. So me getting chills means I'm speaking the truth right? Or spirit is like ‘Yay Santa!’ And I need, or I desire, for other survivors to know that they too, can survive. Right? That we can be, that we can be great. That we can be whole. And we can be powerful. That that's what it means to survive. That the worst is behind us.” -Santa Molina Marshall | Such a precious reminder from one of our course presenters, Santa Molina Marshall, that as a survivor - you can be great. You can be whole. That you can be powerful. That your survival is worthy of celebration. For me personally, I am reminded that the opportunity to spend an hour in conversation with one of my greatest mentors and influences in this work was one of the many incredible benefits I receive from wearing most of the hats of our organization. This moment was one of many that gave me chills and tears and a sense of all that is possible and right and beautiful about being a human in this world. #survivor #trauma #sexualtrauma #somaticexperiencing #holistichealing #holisticpsychotherapy #bodymindsoul https://www.instagram.com/p/B3SmAkTgnj_/?igshid=7m6s1zq4i1u3

Just as the impacts of sexual trauma along with the social conditions and norms that enable its pervasive enactment in our culture are not limited to an individual survivor or the person who commits harm, it is also true that recovering from sexual trauma is not an individual task. It cannot be that the person who has navigated through the physical, psychological, spiritual and energetic breaches of sexual trauma as well as the collateral re-wounding in trauma's wake, should be left alone to triage themselves, nor to triage a culture in which sexual trauma is minimized, normalized and glorified. We place the burdens of healing self and culture upon survivors of sexual trauma in such irresponsible, inhumane and non-trauma conscious ways, and we can do so much better. It's actually in our nature to connect with each other, to protect, respect, attune to and welcome each other into a community of belonging. Modern culture lends us to forget that as humans, throughout history, we have relied on one another to survive and especially to thrive. Healing sexual trauma is a collective endeavor that requires all of our participation if we intend to create a culture where sexual trauma and it’s rippling effects is not the norm. I believe the majority of us desire this kind of world - one where we feel free in our bodies, our relationships and in pursuit of what uniquely gives us joy and meaning in life. Relationships that are honoring and reciprocal, counterbalance the isolation, loss and silencing inherent in sexual harm. Spaces where survivors feel understood, seen and valued, create more kindling for larger systemic cultural change, that is in fact, already on its way. It is transformative for each of us - survivors, practitioners, family and community members alike, to bear witness to others’ healing. We vicariously benefit as we remember our own innate capacity to recover, repair and inhabit lives rich with purpose in the aftermath of painful life experiences – including the most difficult of traumas. Please consider joining us for ”Healing Sexual Trauma” before registration closes on 9/30, and dive deeper into this healing realm alongside us. 💙 https://www.instagram.com/p/B2-AMVVgEj0/?igshid=i3mpu4fjslj5

"Sometimes we need to remember that we need *each other* more than we need another intervention." -Robyn Mourning | @wellsoulwellness is one of two co-presenters to bookend the beginning and ending of our upcoming 8-week online training and the wisdom she shares about creating equity and justice in healing spaces, and also, what it is to cultivate “healership” continues to move me. Remembering the healing of relationship and community not only affirms what we have to come to understand about the social engagement system, yet it also liberates us from some of the shadows and loneliness of the healing industry where services can be financially inaccessible, where purely individualistic models of care don’t necessarily meet the full range of ways we are catalyzed to heal, and also opens us to considering the limitless spaces and places and experiences where we can savor and celebrate healing. It doesn’t have to look Iike “trauma healing” to anyone else as long as it feels healing for you. #survivor #trauma #sexualtrauma #traumainformedcare #socialengagement #nervoussystem #collectivehealing #traumahealing #buildingresilience #onesizedoesnotfitall https://www.instagram.com/p/B2aAVtYgpi3/?igshid=1cvibuvyc7sss

As we prepare to launch our online course for practitioners of healing arts, health, wellness and medical care, we want to share the format. Based on what we know about trauma and learning, as well as the sometimes competing impulses to move towards this material and away from it - we have made choices to increase accessibility. We will extend registration for a few weeks after the course launch for those who are not yet sure if it is right for them and want to have the option to join us later. Perhaps a colleague is taking the course and you want to wait and see - how is it landing for them? What is the container? What is the overall feel of the content? Additionally, we will make the course content available to participants for an extended period of time. The formal course closes after 8 weeks, however, participants will have until the end of April 2020 to move through, review and digest the materials. If you feel enthusiastic about learning and then realize your plate is overflowing and need a while before you can attend to the course, that’s okay! You might also benefit from taking a slower pace. Giving yourself time to be with the different insights, sensations, realizations, and even challenges that the content may stir. There is no rush. Part of our healing journey and what we want to empower our client's and fellow survivors with is an appreciation for our own unique system. How does our brain learn? What is the effect on our body when we watch videos on sexual trauma, systemic oppression, nervous system oscillation processes, and on survival responses and the ways those experiences can leave imprints on our body, mind and soul? What are our inherent resources for caring for ourselves? Maybe we write down notes while listening. Maybe we first review transcripts as a way to prepare ourselves for what we will take in via video afterwards. Maybe we listen/view while moving. You are invited to explore your way of learning throughout this course. This is a kind of experiential opportunity to be sensitive to yourself, to be curious, adaptive and practice noticing the subtle ways our organism communicates with us. You are in charge. This experience is yours. https://www.instagram.com/p/B2XXiiEAxjd/?igshid=74pvjhhtd2pl

“Of the three primary instinctual defense systems, the immobility state is controlled by the most primitive of the physiological subsystems. This neural system controls energy conservation and is triggered only when a person perceives that death is imminent - whether from outside, in the form of a mortal threat, or when the threat originates internally, as from illness or serious injury. Both of these challenges require that one hold still and conserve one’s vital energy. When this most archaic system dominates, one does not move; one barely breathes; one’s voice is choked off; and one is too scared to cry. One remains motionless in preparation for either death or cellular restitution.” -Dr. Peter Levine | Intense fear plus immobility increases the likelihood of freeze. According to a study shared in Levine’s book, “In An Unspoken Voice”, 85% of child sexual assault and 75% of adult sexual assault survivors reported moderate to high levels of paralysis during the abuse. Sexual trauma is a bodily event. To disregard the body and the amazing, complex, painful and subtle ways it copes, manages and survives the moment and the aftermath of trauma, the cascade of physiological responses that are catalyzed in the moment of threat and which continue for some time, until and if the threat subsides is to disregard the survivor themselves. We may not be our bodies, however we live in bodies. They hold imprints that send signals of danger and ease and pleasure and pain in countless ways. Understanding the many layers of how sexual trauma impacts a survivor is critical to providing competent healing care. Join us for our upcoming course and immerse yourself in the conversation of how we hold the wounds alongside the resilience, how we incrementally uncouple fear and immobility from our nervous system, how we can lean into relationships to repair human betrayal, how we can begin to liberate ourselves of somatic shame, and how we can translate this capacity for rebounding after harm out into the wider world. #survivor #sexualtrauma #traumainformedcare https://www.instagram.com/p/B2NMjsMgsxV/?igshid=1pguyusg1u401

“The empowerment of facing my fears of being in a room full of men and learning to trust individuals. I am learning how to use my strength, how to stay grounded and balanced. It feels very good some days to hit the bag with kickboxing - very relaxing and a positive outlet for anger, anxiety and grief. The physical challenge of the exercise is helping with my lethargy, depression and grief. I have more energy. I have less pain. I am so tired I fall right asleep. I find that I am waking myself up from my dreams if they get too intense - this is new. I have not had any flashbacks since starting. I can have memories without them being flashbacks. I have not dissociated since starting. I was afraid I would dissociate when I was uncomfortable, but I know I need to stay present to fully defend myself. The coping strategy of dissociating to numb no longer helps me. I am focusing on my present and future. I hope to one day feel strong enough to dare go on a date and to set healthy boundaries in a healthy relationship. That's my one future dream. I think somehow working out with these men and their simple acceptance of me and the ability to tap out at anytime - is really helping me with my trust issues.” -anonymous | Photo: @gemmasaur | This powerful insight about the impact of #mixedmartialarts was shared by a #survivor in our research on alternative healing. When we invite survivors to share about what has catalzed their recovery, their return to themselves, their reclamation and cultivation of a future they believe in - we learn. We learn how intuitive healing can be, how we can work through complex issues at a body level - beneath language - and how there are countless entry points into this nonlinear journey. The amazing @gemmasaur is a 7-time world champion martial artist and this beautiful kick embodies the possibility of grace, clarity and power in coming home to our bodies after trauma and in taking up our rightful space. She graciously allowed us to share her image as a representation of the empowerment derived through martial arts. Let us never underestimate the potential for any endeavor to be of deep healing value in our Iives or that of another survivor. https://www.instagram.com/p/B17MUHXAhCR/?igshid=1s0xsi8axi51s

“Any holistic healing environment should offer opportunities for the client to feel empowered. Therapies which involve touch may be particularly difficult. Practitioners must demonstrate empathy with their clients and endeavor at all times to accept the client and be mindful of how they respond in each moment. Practitioners should try and allow the client to guide the way through. Healing is a process and I believe the best opportunity for healing flows when both participants in the therapy (client and practitioner) work together and in acceptance of one another. Open communication is vital.” -Anonymous | This insight was shared by a survivor participant from our national study on alternative healing modalities for survivors of sexual assault in which we inquired about the use, benefits and barriers associated with many unconventional healing modalities, and also, how the survivors’ experiences of trauma-informed care or lack there of informed their healing journey. We are using this research to complete our forthcoming trauma-informed care toolkits geared towards providers, we used it as a scaffold to shape our online training, and we will be sharing it at the upcoming Summit on Violence, Abuse and Trauma in San Diego next week. In other words, we center, we celebrate and we are lead by survivors’ direct experiences - always. It is deeply humbling to be entrusted with co-designing new systems to more accessible and effectively bolster people’s innate healing capacities and we hold that responsibility with profound care. #survivor #sexualassault #trauma #traumainformed #traumainformedcare #nonlinearhealing #embodiedjustice #somatichealing https://www.instagram.com/p/B1zLjkuArTW/?igshid=s7vx50nqj4b1

“Trauma does not reside in the external event that induces physical or emotional pain - nor even in the pain itself - but in our becoming stuck in our primitive responses to painful events. Trauma is caused when we are unable to release blocked energies, to fully move through the physical and emotional reactions to hurtful experiences. Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathic witness.” -Gabor Mate, MD | Of course there are many tools we can cultivate, learning we can acquire, protocols we can memorize, however, it’s the fundamental need to be witnessed, to be fully met, to be offered a spacious and inclusive healing dynamic that is so deeply reparative after the dislocating, disorganizing and deeply isolating experience of sexual trauma. If you work with humans, perhaps in bodywork, energy healing, or spiritual guidance, whether offering psychological, physical, medical, alternative or mainstream care - you work with survivors. We invite you to join an innovative learning and growth experience through our forthcoming course, Healing Sexual Trauma: A Professional Training in Trauma-Informed Care. This course offers a nuanced understanding of the dynamics of sexual trauma, the layered impacts of trauma on brain/body, it’s influence on individual, family and community systems, as well as the greater collective, creative and skillful adaptions to sharing a healing practice with survivors, and ample exploration and personal inquiry as to the interrelatedness of our own healing journey and that of the people we accompany in our practice. No single course can be all things. There is so much knowledge in the world to appreciate, many experts, survivors and leaders stewarding deep traditions and birthing breakthroughs around trauma healing that we will want to take our time to wade through. Still, I believe that the content our team has curated here is both incredibly special and vitally needed if we truly aim to create transformative healing spaces for sexual trauma survivors. Our intention is that the course will further the opening of yet another door for how we can all support one another’s ongoing healing. https://www.instagram.com/p/B1um-GwA-L_/?igshid=1a5ci7i112q4e

Healing is choosing language that feels true to you. A survivor shared this beautiful rewrite of Blackbird by the Beatles, into her own version, Bluebird. How profound it is to make even the most subtle shifts. To notice the ways the words land in our bodies that let us know they are the right words. To reframe our relationship with art or nature or a self-care practice so that it fully serves us. Thank you dear V for writing and singing and living the possibility of this new song. | Bluebird photo @jennyburdettephotography // blackbird photo @mollyboha #survivor #sexualassault #trauma #holistichealing #nonlinearhealing #embodiedjustice https://www.instagram.com/p/B1M1-hEAIP8/?igshid=17k0oxt85budp

For me, the counterbalance to shame is sovereignty. If I had to summarize the impact of our forthcoming online course, I would say it will inspire practioners of all kinds of healing, health and wellness and truly any work with humans, to recognize all the micro and macro moments of possibility we have - in our work with survivors - to invite the liberation of shame so that sovereignty can be rightfully restored. Sexual trauma leaves a kind of unmistakable somatic shame - a badness, an unworthiness, a sense of never feeling clean (documented in high rates of over-washing) and for some, a feeling of having been complicit in their own trauma for the *perceived* failure of bodily defenses. When practioners learn the incidence (epidemic) of sexual trauma, the evolutionarily-selected-for brain/body responses, the intersecting social issues that complicate and redefine resilience, and the ways in which individual, collective, generational and historical trauma may - however paradoxically - inform, shape and sometimes point us in the direction of healing, this is a massive resource for the survivor who comes into contact with them. It takes tremendous vulnerability to seek support in this culture. When a survivor connects with someone who can hold space for their pain alongside possibility for their healing, it may positively influence the trajectory of their life in ways beyond measure. Sovereignty that lives in the body, however imperfectly and in whatever ways we experience and experiment with it - bolsters our ability to live with and through and beyond the harms that were done to us. It remind us we are more than the violence we’ve endured without denying the legacy trauma leaves. It keeps us rooted in our inherent worth. The seemingly bottomless vortex of overwhelming emotion narrows when we can shore up our sense of boundaries - whether through inhabiting our body, through self-expression, through focusing our attention and energy, and in unlearning the socially inscribed habit of apologizing for our pain. It might be a lifelong practice, still, every time we meet shame with our sovereignty, the shadow of sexual trauma will shrink. https://www.instagram.com/p/B09VcbCAAK2/?igshid=1x9myr2vmsoax

“An ecological view of trauma assumes that individually varied posttraumatic response and recovery patterns are multidetermined by complexly interacting person, event and environmental factors. The ecological model conceptually groups trauma survivors into those who do and do not receive clinical intervention post trauma, and, further, into subgroups of those who do and do not recover. Each group poses specific questions and distinct challenges to clinical and community research. We are in particular need of knowledge about individuals we seldom see: those who apparently recover without professional help, and those who may need such help but do not receive it and do not recover. In acknowledging the multidimensional nature of trauma recovery and the possibility of recovery in the absence of clinical intervention, the ecological model highlights the construct of resiliency, the role of the larger environment, the contributions of natural supports, and the relevance of community interventions. These interventions are essential not only to the promotion of recovery among currently untreated, possibly isolated and distressed survivors, but also to the larger goal of preventing and eliminating the violent and catastrophic events associated with trauma.” -Mary R. Harvey | To me, an ecological model of trauma and healing makes perfect sense. I deeply appreciate the curiosity and attention towards ways of healing that are outside conventional realms. I equally appreciate the interest towards understanding (and dismantling) the barriers that prevent those who need care from accessing what they deserve. There is no one method, healer, process or timeline for how we enter the nonlinear journey of trauma healing. It is a unique recipe for each of us. The ingredients that encompass our repair, our reclamation and our return to ourselves, to others and to life - arise from every facet of our inner and outer world. This abundance of directions and paths is a benefit. We can lean into different areas, practices and communities at different times. Everything and everyone is interconnected, let’s use this resource to empower our whole ecology to thrive. #survivor https://www.instagram.com/p/B0tv9EFgk4Z/?igshid=1mkt2s76f9fgn

The body of research attesting to the benefits of holistic approaches to trauma healing grows daily. Leaders at the forefront of psychology, trauma resilience and neuroscience recommend integrating mind, body and soul into recovery, as trauma can impact a person’s entire organism, and therefore, their entire inner and outer world. Including the whole person acknowledges and mitigates the spectrum of physical, mental and spiritual health struggles that erupt in the wake of overwhelm, and, can also account for the way survivors hold both individual and systemic trauma in their bodies. Simultaneously, interest has increased among survivors who resonate with the potential of holistic therapies to meet the paradoxical challenge and desire to inhabit one’s whole being after the breach of boundary that constitutes sexual trauma. The fact is few healing, health and wellness schools incorporate training on sexual trauma and trauma-informed practice in their curriculum. This results in practitioners unintentionally causing harm to clients (and themselves) within the healing space. Negative experiences that unfold when a survivor reaches out for support may exacerbate the sense of somatic shame that is associated with surviving sexual abuse, while reinforcing beliefs that a person is not capable of recovery. Triggering experiences may cause them to retract from asking for resources, thereby causing them to internalize their pain. As one of the most pervasive forms of trauma in our culture, all healing professionals have worked with survivors - often without knowing, either because they didn’t ask, or the conditions weren’t safe enough for their client to disclose. Our upcoming online course empowers practitioners to discover simple yet profound ways they can adapt care to respond to the urgent and high demand for sexual trauma healing in our society. By participating, you expand access to your practice by better ensuring survivors will receive skillful care, and you will gain new tools to support your own capacity to thrive as a healer. Together we can grow the network of trauma-informed holistic healers who can steward survivors through the nonlinear journey of healing. https://www.instagram.com/p/B0BtBAug52f/?igshid=i4exm7hmp433

There are countless individual, cultural, historical and systemic factors that complicate the ways in which we experience sexual trauma, cope with its aftermath, and survive through overwhelming experiences that cannot be neatly categorized as finished - particularly when we live in a time where the collective threat of harm remains high. The echoes of our past, and that of our ancestors, may remain alive within and around us for some time. The vulnerabilities and the strengths we have inherited may resurface as triggers, and alternately as resources, when we least expect them. That is the nonlinear nature of healing. Still, we can grow through those cycles with greater capacity and trust when we have support networks to tend to the physical, psychological and spiritual wounds that throb. When harm happens and safety is not restored, remains in question, requires constant effort - the barriers to healing are many. We are all affected by trauma, yet the impacts and options are uneven. Where do we turn? Who will hold the space beside us? As a response to the rising demand for skillful support for survivors, we created our online course, Healing Sexual Trauma: A Professional Training in Trauma-Informed Care. It offers a unique combination of education and training co-facilitated by 20 professionals working in the realms of sexual trauma recovery, anti-sexual violence advocacy, holistic healing and resilience building. The course encompasses a wide breadth of information that we believe is vital when it comes to being a resource of support for survivors. It is geared towards healing artists, health + wellness providers of all disciplines including: acupuncturists, bodyworkers, yoga teachers, therapists, trainers, social workers, nurse practitioners, naturopaths, medical doctors + more. The course runs for 8-weeks this Fall and includes 20+ hours of video content, supplementary reading, and weekly discussion calls. This is an opportunity to intentionally move towards the brave and tender survivors present in all our spaces, and to wade into the next layer of learning about a complex and urgent field of care. You are invited and you are deeply needed in this work. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxyjs09gpnA/?igshid=hhmzcfuu12e0