Breaking Bad

Skyler: I fucked Ted

Walter: My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Orroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. To all law enforcement entitles, this is not an admission of guilt. I am speaking to my family now. Skyler, you are the love of my life. I hope you know that. Walter Junior, you’re my big man. There are…there are going to be some things things that you’ll come to learn about me in the next few days. I just want you to know that no no matter how it may look, I only had you in my heart. Good-bye.

“Mike: And now you’re gonna do what you’re told, which is to sit here, shut up, and stay in the car till we finish our pickups. You got it?”

Jesse: Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned into shit, dead. Ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg. I have never been more alone!

Jesse: Man, some straight like you, giant stick up his ass, all of a sudden at age, what, 60, he’s just gonna break bad? Walter: I’m 50. Jesse: It’s weird is all, okay? It doesn’t compute. Listen, if you’ve gone crazy or something I mean, if you’ve gone crazy or depressed, I’m just saying that’s something I need to know about. Okay? I mean, that affects me. Walter: I am awake.

Walter: Jesse, look at me, you are a blow fish. Jesse: What? Walter: A blow fish, think about it. Small in stature, not swift, not cunning, easy prey for predators, but the blow fish has a secret weapon, doesn’t he? Doesn’t he? What does the blow fish do, Jesse? What does the blow fish do? Jesse: I don’t even know what… Walter: The blow fish puffs up, okay? The blow fish puffs himself up four, five times larger than normal but why? Why does he do that? Because it makes him intimidating, that’s why. Intimidating so that the other scarier fish are scared off and that’s you. You are a blow fish. Don’t you see? It’s just all, all an illusion. It’s nothing but air. Now, who messes with the blow fish, Jesse? Jesse: Nobody. Walter: You’re damn right. Jesse: I’m a blow fish. Walter: You are a blow fish. Say it again. Jesse: A blow fish! Walter: Say it like you mean it! Jesse: I’M A BLOW FISH! BLOW FISH! YEEEAAAH! BLOW FISHIN’ THIS UP!

Jesse: You got a brother in the goddamned DEA?! Walter: What? Jesse: You said you were just doing some ride-along! Yes or no, do you have a brother in the DEA? Walter: Brother-in-law. Jesse: Oh, now there’s a load off my mind. Walter: Where did you hear that? Jesse: Your freaking wife told me when she was here all up on my shit! Yeah, that’s right. She almost caught me moving Emilio! Good job wearing the pants in the family! And why did you go telling her I was selling you weed? Walter: Because somehow it seemed preferable to admitting that I cook crystal meth and killed a man.

Jesse: You got a brother in the goddamned DEA?! Walter: What? Jesse: You said you were just doing some ride-along! Yes or no, do you have a brother in the DEA? Walter: Brother-in-law. Jesse: Oh, now there’s a load off my mind. Walter: Where did you hear that? Jesse: Your freaking wife told me when she was here all up on my shit! Yeah, that’s right. She almost caught me moving Emilio! Good job wearing the pants in the family! And why did you go telling her I was selling you weed? Walter: Because somehow it seemed preferable to admitting that I cook crystal meth and killed a man.

[in a flashback to Walter’s younger days] Walter: I don’t know. Just…doesn’t it seem like…something’s missing? Gretchen: What about the soul? Walter: The soul? There’s nothing but chemistry here.

Walter: I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!‘

Jesse: Four pounds. Four pounds – like two pounds wasn’t bad enough. We’re talking two – three-hundred boxes of sinus pills. There ain’t that many smurfs in the world. Walter: We’re not going to need pseudoephedrine. We’re going to make phenylacetone in a tube furnace, then we’re going to use reductive amination to yield methamphetamine. Four pounds. Jesse: So no pseudo? Walter: No pseudo. Jesse: So you do have a plan! Yeah Mr. White! Yeah science!

Jesse: A junkyard? Let me guess, you picked this place? Walter: What’s wrong with it? It’s private. Jesse: This is…This is like a…a non-criminal’s idea of a drug meet. This is like, “Oh, I saw this in a movie. Ooh, look at me.” Walter: Yeah, so…so where do you transact business? Enlighten me. Jesse: I don’t know. How about Taco Cabeza? Half the deals I’ve ever done went down at Taco Cabeza. Nice and public. Open 24 hours. Nobody ever gets shot at Taco Cabeza. Hell, why not the mall? You know, wait at the Gap. “Hey! It’s time for the meet!” You know, I’ll put down the flat-front khakis, head on over, grab an Orange Julius. Skip the part where psycho lunatic Tuco, you know, comes and steals my drugs and leaves me bleeding to death.

Marie: You can do this, Hank. Come on. It’s supposed to hurt. Pain is weakness leaving your body. Hank: Pain is my foot in your ass, Marie. Marie: Hey, if you could get your leg up that high, I say go for it.

Walter: Pay phone? Jesse: Pay phone, middle of nowhere, nobody followed. So how’d it go? Walter: Okay. You? Jesse: They sweated me plenty, but they finally cut me loose. So you getting out of there? Walter Tomorrow. So who came for you? The DEA? What’d they ask you? Jesse: Yeah, that’s the thing, y'know? Your scumbag brother-in-law took my rainy day fund. Walter: Your what? What is that? Jesse: My rainy day fund, $68,000, okay? Cue ball son of a bitch laughed in my face. Now I got, like, 80 bucks to my name. Walter: Wait, wait, what does he know? Does he know it’s your money? Jesse: No, man, he doesn’t know shit, okay? The plan worked. He bought it. I got bills due, man. I’m screwed. Walter: Did he mention my name? Jesse: No, thanks for caring. Walter: How about the basement? Jesse: It’s clean. Walter: And the RV? Jesse: Badger’s cousin took it to his garage. It’s safe. Walter: Can he get it running again? Jesse: Why? Walter: So we can cook. Jesse: You still wanna cook? Seriously? Walter: What’s changed, Jesse?

Walter: Three entire bags of Funyuns? Jesse: Funyuns are awesome. Walter: God… Jesse: More for me. Walter: How about something with some protein, maybe? Something green, huh? How are you even alive?