Food, Bev, Hospitality Photographer

So that happened.

Last week I got to see my first ad in the wild.

I just wish I could really be happy about it. The money is already gone. I'm already broke again. No one really cared that I hit a milestone. It's just me sitting in silence every day still. I'm not saying that I want a party for doing my job, I just don't think people realize how hard this is, and more importantly how hard this is to do and get paid anything at all.

I know I say how often how unhappy I am with my life and nearly every single choice I've made in the last 20 some years. But lately I'm beyond even that. I don't know how to do anything anymore. None of it makes sense. I look at every single person in my circle. They're all married, or live in partnered. They've got some kind of security as well as someone to see them while they hurt. I just come home and live the same day over and over and over. And have been for as long as I can remember. I've changed friends, and jobs, relationships, hobbies more times than I can count. But the result is ALWAYS the same. Just me alone with all the noise in my head.

Last week on Wednesday, I feel like I broke entirely. I can't be happy about anything. I hate this job I'm doing with my friend. I feel like every day I spend standing at a fryer for hours at 8am instead of being out there doing what I love is just minutes of my life gone. I hate the commute even if it's only 3 miles. I hate that my day starts with my cats screaming me to eat at 5am, followed by construction at 6am feeding the cats by 7am and then out to work by 8am, working my ass off in a sandwich shop until. 6pm, home by nearly 7pm just to have cats screaming to eat again like they hadn't already ate 4 times prior. Then I sit until 9pm and shower just to get in bed and do it over the next day.

But I still can barely pay my rent. I still can't make enough to save, the gigs I get go directly to paying off CC to cover my food for the month.

Wednesday I had possibly the biggest shoot of my career.

Somehow my name got put in for a shoot for UBER to promote UBER ONE for students.

I shot the event to be used as promotional materials. Things you may see in emails, or ads for UBER ONE as well as in app.

I waited to share but the kicker was that, well no one gave a shit. It was something I was so proud of and such a massive step from where I’ve been. And I really felt like I executed it better than I hoped. But Instagram did what Instagram does best and either showed it to no one or of the people who was it, just didn’t like it.

Someone pointed out that it looked like an ad (it’s supposed to) and people might have skipped it.

Today is the closest I’ve come to letting go.

Sometimes I think about what makes me happy, and it’s lame. But the escape into a fantasy that I’m living in a world I’ll never experience by gathering all the weebo items. My manga, snacks, anime, chopsticks whatever. I guess I need it sometimes.

Today I had a moment of incredible anger about how my work gets treated. How I get treated as an artist, a professional and as a friend. That old adage of

“Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.”

My contracts mean nothing. The exceptions I’ve made have helped me in no way. And every single thing I’ve asked for in my contracts has been ignored and met with excuses. As if signing your name on a contract was the same as sending a text.

I just don’t think I can spend anymore time this way. All I’ve wanted is this. But every time I feel closer to this people remind me just how little what I need matters. It makes me feel small and stupid. It makes me feel stupid to let how anyone treats me, matter.

Pastramsky’s for Stereo Flavors.

Porco’s rebrand

Angelo’s for Uber Eats

Jason Okdeh for Stereo Flavors

Post Haste monthly update.

It was a simple two photo shoot. These photos are going to be used in mega-mass marketing. Billboards, stadium advertisements, busses. Typically this would be a big paying job. But as always it wasn’t. That said at least I can jizz my pants at my photos in the entire city’s face.

They replied back about an hour ago confirming and congratulating. The photos were a hit with the marketing and design team. I’ll send the gallery for selection in a little while.

This is kind of a win for me.

Just some b roll from the shoot.

First thoughts on the Fujifilm X Half

Below are the actual SOOC files.

I love it. No it’s not some high resolution camera. It’s not meant to be perfection. But what it does do is fill that space between my digital and film point and shoots. The resolution is no better or worse than my ultra high resolution scans.

Shooting in film mode is actually a lot of fun. It’s very final. No peeking. No adjustments. Just a blank screen and an advance lever.

It is very limited on simulations. Doesn’t have all of them but it has enough. You can’t modify them but honestly, I rarely did.

I’m pretty happy with the images and the intelligence of the camera. It seems to know exactly how I would have liked the photos to look. I can still shoot my usual fast way with 1/250th shutter on priority and up to 1600iso auto range. I usually keep the dial at -1/3 exposure to be safe.

The flash does suck but again with these settings and jacked to +1. It’s okay. Within 2-3ft.

Porco’s Porchetta in Point Breeze!