AAAAAAA

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

call me breakfast burrito the way i fuck at any hour of the day

just saw the funniest thing on twitter where someone was broken up with bc they ate 7 croissants im CRYINGGGG

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

You show up and Michael B Jordan is sitting in both seats.

☝️only funny addition so far. I’m actually shocked nobody else thought of that yet

A girl of about 6 or 7 was babbling nonsense words at her mom and I thought to myself 'she should be able to form real words and sentences by this age' but then the mom responded in kind and I realized 'oh wait, they're speaking french'.

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

every video game should have an option to disable men completely like just erase them or even better replace them with women