Queer As Day

I love holding doors open for girls but like, in a gay way

Light shows.

date the person who says, “have fun, be safe, and call if you need anything” not the person who gets mad at you for going out w/o them

hi… ever heard of… bpd…?

hi… ever heard of… not excusing your own abusive behaviors on account of mental illness…? 

“Nah I’m acting like you, so the fact that you don’t like it says more about you than me tbh.”

Horny in Maine

stephen king’s latest best seller

“money can’t buy happiness” is such a baby boomer concept like…. I don’t want excessive wealth to buy a golf plated toilet seat Karen, I just wish I wasn’t crying because I can’t afford both spaghetti and rent after working 40 hours a week

Looking at the notes I guess y'all are poor too huh

the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression

I was grocery shopping the other night, and the entire produce rack of onions was virtually empty. Naturally, I joked out loud that we should take one from the bigger bags that they sell. Swear to god, like two minutes later while I’m grabbing peppers, this girl slyly walks up to me, taps me on the side, and discloses a SINGLE onion for me to take. Moral of the story: I accidentally convinced someone to steal me an onion, my jokes obviously need work, grocery stores are weird and I think I made a friend.