I IGNORE MY FEARS

ooc. the fact that tobias basically talks about dissociating in order to survive is father's ab*se. i didn't realise that until this re-read...

Feliz cumpleaños bebe!!!!!!! You know Tris would be giving Four all that Dauntless chocolate cake!! <3 te quiero!!!

"It's been seven years since you died, and you never tried to do this dramatic reveal before, so what's different now? At first she doesn't answer. Then she pulls herself together, visibly, and says, "We-the factionless-like to keep an eye on things. Things like the Choosing Ceremony. This time, our eye told me that you chose Dauntless. I would have gone myself, but I didn't want to risk running into him. I've become ... kind of a leader to the factionless, and it's important that I don't expose myself." I taste something sour. "Well, well," I say. "What important parents I have. I'm so very lucky." "This isn't like you," she says. "Is even a part of you happy to see me again?" "Happy to see you again?" I say. "I barely remember you, Evelyn. I've almost lived as long without you as I did with you." Her face contorts. I wounded her. I'm glad.

"A circle of light envelops me, and at its edge, I see worn gray shoes pacing. Marcus Eaton steps into the edge of the light, but not the Marcus Eaton I know. This one has pits for eyes and a gaping black maw instead of a mouth. Another Marcus Eaton stands beside him, and slowly, all around the circle, more and more monstrous versions of my father step forward to surround me, their yawning, toothless mouths open wide, their heads tilting at odd angles. I squeeze my hands into fists. It’s not real. It’s obviously not real. The first Marcus undoes his belt and then slides it out from around his waist, loop by loop, and as he does, so do the other Marcuses. As they do, the belts turn into ropes made of metal, barbed at the ends. They drag their belts in lines across the floor, their oily black tongues sliding over the edges of their dark mouths."