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comfort character (dead)

it’s bc im on that damn phone honestly

i don’t want a job i want to read good books and drink good coffee and get kissed on the neck

that bad sensory moment when you’re trying to do something that requires a lot of focus and the people around you are talking loudly and you’re just sitting there like $&@&&@@^%#%^%***++*%%#%^*+%%%

It’s literally dark by 4pm. Do you think that’s good for me? Do you think I am loving that

this was an unpopular take in recent history but i truly believe it is possible to care about your friends and acquaintances and be a good friend while simultaneously hoping their lame ass boyfriend (theres always one) dies in a boating accident or falls into a well or smth

paul rudd winning sexiest man alive is the only thing that’s made sense in years.

Help, my wife taught our kid to say “wow” in the Owen Wilson voice and now they both won’t stop

why is there no Barbie mortician career doll

everybody is like “oh you think dolls die?” “how would a kid tell if a doll is dead?” have you ever watched a child play with dolls, they have morbid creativity levels that rival Shakespeare