Steve Harrington hadnāt talked to his dad in a year.
The last thing the two of them had talked had been after the earthquakes, across the room in the den; his dad barely stepped through the front entryway, and Steveās back pressed against the back door. The house was messy but still standing, unlike Steve, who was broken and barely keeping himself upright. The only thing Richard Harrington had said to Steve was,
āI think itās time to move on.ā Which was his way of telling Steve they were selling the house and he should figure out his own arrangements. Steve hadnāt cared, though. Didnāt even look at him as he spoke. Instead, he stared at the cracks in the ceiling and wondered if it was some kind of metaphor.
He tried not to think too deeply about it.
It had been a year since then. There had been time to move on, as his dad said. There was no more Upside Down. There was no more worrying about the next move. Max and Eddie were healed. Everyone was back in Hawkins. Robin and Steve lived in a little house on Fifth while Robin took community courses. Eddie practically lived there, too, with the strange friendship bond that had grown between the three of them.
Eddie had argued once it was because their couch was comfier than his bed, but Steve liked to think it was because Eddie wanted to be close to them. To be close to him. Sometimes Steve thought about letting him stay in his bed together.
Time had not moved to that yet.
Everything seemed good. Despite Steveās resentment towards Richard, and his reluctance to admit the man was right, sometimes it was good to let things go, break apart and move on. Though Steve was sure, this wasnāt exactly what Harrington Sr. meant.
Steve hadnāt talked to his father in over a year. And he didnāt really miss him. Sure, there were moments that passed when Steve would yearn for the small happy moments between them. Secret smiles at baseball games, lunch at his office, and him cheering Steve on at the one swim championship he managed to show up to.
But it always got mixed in with bigger, badder moments. Being left alone for months on end. The belittling. The missed graduation. The yelling. The slurs when he grew his hair out too long. The cold way he said to Steve,
āI think itās time to move on.ā
Like he had been breaking up with a high school sweetheart before leaving for college.
So Steve didnāt miss the man, not really. But in moments like these, in the back of the Byers-Hopperās backyard at the Fatherās Day BBQ, where all party members and parents alike gathered, Steve couldnāt help but ache.
Steve ached for something better than Richard Harrington.
It wasnāt because of parents who stuck around that made Steveās stomach churn in jealousy, but the ones who decided to show up. It was the way Wayne threw his arm around Eddieās shoulder and the cheers their beers to something probably ridiculous. The way Steve knew that man would crawl to the ends of the earth for someone who wasnāt technically his, but was nothing short of a son.
It was the way El and Hop manned the grill together. Him laughing at something El said, probably something ridiculous, and her smile back that could light up the sun. The way Steve knew that El wasnāt a replacement for the things Hop had lost, but instead an addition to his life he would choose over and over again.
Steve ached to be loved and care for because someone wanted to. Not because of obligation or by accident. Steve wanted to loved deliberately.
Steve sipped his beer instead of bringing down the celebration with his thoughts. Eddie caught Steveās eye across the yard and gave him a megawatt smile. Steve couldnāt help but smile shyly back.
āHey, Steve.ā A shy voice said beside him, startling him out of his thoughts. Steve turned to find Dustin standing beside him, nearly up to his nose now with his recent growth spurt. Steve couldnāt help but miss when he was small and could throw him over his shoulder.
Steve was a little surprised to find him there. Dustin wasnāt one to speak small or shy. He liked to make his presence known (much like the lovable metal head he was staring down earlier).
āHey bud, whatās up?ā
Dustin looked around the two of them before answering. Everyone else was with their dads, or talking to one of the party members. Even Robin managed to wrangle her dad and Mr. Sinclair into a conversation about WWII. Dustin looked a little relieved everyone was doing their own thing.
āOkay so you know how like, everyone is celebrating their dad today? And mine isnāt here?ā
Steve felt his stomach drop. Somehow in the midst of his self-pitying, he had forgotten that Dustinās dad wasnāt around either. Didnāt even stick around long enough for his first words. āYea, dude, Iām sorry this must suck for you.ā
Dustin looked nervous. He shifted on his feet back and forth, as if he was trying to find a rhythm to calm himself down. āYea, so thatās what I actually came over to talk to you about.ā
āYea, Dustin. Im here if you need to talk.ā
Dustin seemed to finally be at ease and rolled his eyes at Steve. āNo, asshole, I donāt need to talk. I havenāt thought about the dick in years, if Iām honest. I just, itās something else. And you donāt get to be weird about it.ā
āThat sounds about right.ā
āHey!ā Steve laughed despite his protest. A year ago, stuff like that hurt Steveās feelings. But now Steve knew it was all in good fun, that Dustin was kind of dick to everyone. And he knew that the joke wasnāt about his intelligence. It hadnāt been a long time, since Steve threatened to push him out of a moving vehicle last time. Steve was pretty sure it had to do with a particular conversation involving his feelings for more than women.
Only Dustin and Robin knew. She was overly supportive, and Dustin instantly made a joke. Both made Steve supported and safe.
āNot my fault this happens to you often.ā
āIs there a point being made or are you here to just be a dick?ā Steve questioned, laughing behind the lip of his beer.
Dustin fidgeted again before pulling something out his back pocket. āJustāpromise not to laugh.ā
Steve crossed his heart with a giggle before he took a folded white piece of paper out of Dustinās hands.
Suddenly, Steveās face got serious as he saw what was on the front.
A poorly drawn Steve with a nail baseball bat, with the title āHappy Fatherās Dayā.
Steve swallowed thickly before placing his beer on the ground and opening the card. There in Dustinās chicken scratch, was a message.
Donāt be weird about this. Okay here it goes.
My dad wasnāt around a lot, big whoop. Big surprise. I honestly donāt care anymore. Donāt give me a look.
I honestly didnāt think I would really care about any of the dad stuff, didnāt feel like I was really missing out. My mom and her annoying love for cats has always been more than enough. But as time went by sometimes I thought maybe I would be better, I would be different if I had a dad. I see it with the rest of the party, how willingly or unwillingly they all reflect their dads. And how I donāt.
Sometimes I donāt feel like my whole self because if it. Thought maybe I would never really be a whole me because of it. That maybe the world was better off anyway because I know I am a lot.
But then I met you asshole.
I didnāt think I would like you, and more importantly I didnāt think you would like me. But suddenly we are battling worlds together, and youāre hanging out with me even outside the end of days, and I have a new best friend.
If Iām being honest I do see more as a brother. Someone I look up to. But the more I think about it (again donāt be weird), I do see you as a dad some days. Although the hands on him do scream mother then, youāve been a dad to me in the ways the asswipe who made someone as amazing as me hasnāt been.
You are brave, and funny and despite popular belief you are kind. One of the kindest people I know. You make me feel safe and loved, and give me rides despite me never giving you gas money. Some days I look in the mirror and see parts of you in me, and I feel proud.
Some days I look at you and hope that I can see the braveness and kindness in myself too. I donāt yet, but you make it feel possible.
I donāt need a sperm donor (thank you Robin for that one), I have the worldās okayest dad right here.
Love you brother, friend, dad.
Happy Fatherās Day, from your fellow nerd,
Steve was crying. He knew that. He knew he promised not to make it weird, but Steve couldnāt help it. The little shit got him right in the heart.
He couldnāt be blamed for scooping up Dustin in a hug. āI love you too, Dusty Buns.ā
Dustin squeezed Steve tight, āYou donāt get to call me that.ā He grumbled, but Steve could feel his tshirt getting wet.
āAs your father it is my right to get to call you embarrassing nick names.ā Steve squeezed Dustin even tighter.
Dustin just laughed and pushed him away jokingly. They both wiped their eyes, but the smiles on their faces remained.
Steve thought about Richard at that moment again, about how he ached for someone to care. And maybe Steve would never get it, but he could be that someone for someone else. He could give that care, Dustin.
Dustin shook his head, his crooked smile remained. āNah man, thank you.ā
They both just stared at each other in comfortable silence before they were interrupted by a barking force.
āWhat are you two saps talking about?ā Eddie slung his arms around the both of them, mouth spread wide in a grin. But then he noticed the tear tracks, and suddenly his face dropped.
Eddie took Steveās face in his hands, āWhatās wrong? What happened?ā
Steve shook his head fondly, āNothingāā He started, preparing to wave it off. But then Steve realized he couldnāt lie to Eddie. āānothing bad. Happy tears. I promise.ā
Eddie looked at Steve for a moment before nodding, giving his face a tight squeeze, and then dropping his hands. āOkay, Stevie, as long as their happy tears.ā
āWhat am I? Chopped liver?ā Dusting grumbled.
āAweee Dusty, I could never forget you!!ā Eddie threw himself at Dustin in a horrible attempt at a hug.
Dustin just pushed him off before rolling his eyes. Steve swore they were gonna get stuck one day.
āWhatever, man. Just make sure that you treat my dad right, or Iām going to have to make some tough calls.ā Dustin stared down Eddie seriously before laughing evilly and walking away.
Steve wanted to freeze at Dustinās implication, but Eddie looked adorably confused, so Steve didnāt feel too bad.
āWhatās that supposed to mean? Is this new? Him just getting protective about this without explaining?ā Eddie asked Steve.
āDonāt worry about it.ā Steve looked down at the card again wistfully, before glancing back up at Eddie. Steve took one of Eddieās hands and started to play with his rings. A blush bloomed across Eddieās cheeks; Steve wanted to kiss him. Instead, he just said,
āJust think heās trying to be a little like his dad.ā
Dadās are complicated, and family isnāt always blood. I hope you enjoyed my little Fatherās Day contribution. I do headcannon Hopper as Steveās father figure/replacement, and usually write it that way but this seemed like a fun opportunity to show how Steve is his own father figure for others.
Now with Fatherās Day over, my birthday is in two weeks which is making me feel all sorts of things. So Iām distracting myself with steddie. Either way expect a lot of writing and updates soon.