At my annual get together with some of my old uni friends this weekend, we went to the beach yesterday...and had a bit of a fetish moment.
Maybe 15 feet in front of us was a blonde lady who kept sneezing in doubles or triples every minute or so. They were loud and powerful, bending her over from her sitting position.
I was doing my best to ignore it, but my vanilla friends had noticed too, and had a conversation that went something like this:
A: *expletive* do you think she'll ever stop sneezing? Should we move so we're not downwind? It's kind of gross. Why would you come to the beach with a cold?
B: it's not a cold, it's allergies, though why you'd come to the beach if you're allergic is also a good question.
A: how do you know it's not a cold? I got no time for being ill
B: she's miles away, chill out. Her sneezes sound like my allergy sneezes, cold sneezes are messier and you blow your nose more.
*she walks by us, sneezes twice*
C: yeah it's not a cold, nobody where's a bikini that skimpy with a cold.
D: I feel for her. That was me yesterday. Woke up and just could not stop sneezing. Ran out of tissues by 11. Until J could get to the shops, I had to just use an old t-shirt to sneeze and blow my nose.
B: ha, glad it wasn't just me. I sneezed my head off yesterday. Was rough this morning too, but sea air seems to have sorted me out.
D: ha, yeah me too. Made sure to take meds this morning, but I still come armed just in case *dips into her bag and jokingly waves tissues at us*
A: right, I'm going swimming, everyone coming?
Me: ummm, I'm good for now. I'll look after our stuff.
I swear vanillas are out to kill me. Been more than a little turned on ever since. Send help 😂