boytoy user manual

This blog is intended to cover a wide range of spicy topics but, well, it seems like people are so curious about my own fascination with Male Chastity play that it has sort of taken over. I get so many questions per day about it that I thought I’d just nail down some of the basics in a little FAQ.

How did you get into chastity play?

The short answer is through a college boyfriend. (The long answer involves my childhood tomboyism, an early romantic rejection and a little game the kids used to play called, “lock up the hero.” I’ll save that for another post.)

My second boyfriend in college brought up the idea rather bluntly to me in 2004. We were in his little apartment bedroom laying on the bed, “studying”, and he suddenly said. “Okay, I found this crazy thing online and I want to know what you think about it.”

I don’t remember exactly what I thought or felt when she showed me the pictures on very sketchy looking websites. I think I was kind of naïvely ambivalent. I said something like, “Woah freaky. But whatever you into, right? Am I right? Am I? Dale?” When I could tell that he was very much into it, the only thing that flashed in my mind was, “A hundred bucks for one of these? It better be made of gold!”

He plunked down the CC, meaning we’d be making dinner for out dates for the next month, and within a few days he was the proud owner of a CB-2000. I remember how much he trembled when he fumbled with it, how difficult it was to get him soft so we could get it on him. It was all very…interesting to me. I wasn’t freaked out. I was an evolved, sophisticated seeker of truth and a devote of science. I was so curious, maybe more than he was. I remember turning it over and trying to make the pieces fit and saying, “I think you pee through here.”

That began a long journey into chastity play that has never been my main focus but has always been a source of endless fascination.

Does chastity play turn you on?

At first it did not. Not in an erotic or sexual way. It definitely seemed important. I kept asking, “Why have I never heard of this? Why isn’t everyone talking about it?” To be honest, I still ask myself those kinds of questions.

Over time, however, it has become one of the most pivotal aspects of my very active fantasy world from which all of my orgasms emanate. Chastity play, and the things it allows me to do to men, <ahem>, I mean with men is so erotically thrilling for me. I find myself thinking about it, daydreaming about it and, well, doing it all the time.

So what exactly does turn you on?

I like a good romance novel like the rest of the female population but I’d say my little barb of kink lies in making a difference in men’s lives in such a way that it’s obvious to them and to me that I caused it. I like tangible change for my sake. That sounds a bit vague, doesn’t it? For example, many women enjoy the fantasy of prostitution. Why? Because if a man pays money, that’s a tangible transaction of value from him to her, a manifestation that she was worth some sacrifice to him.

I’m not big into paid sex so let’s come up with another example. If a man were to come to me and say, “Because of what you were saying about privilege I went and read up on it. You’re right. You’ve changed my mind and I accept my responsibility as a receiver of high privilege.” That would make my day. That would make me feel so incredibly valuable, powerful and influential. I’d probably go home that night and take care of my needs while replaying those words in my mind. 

I love the thought of, say, a man donating to science or charity because of something I did or said. I love the idea of a man joining a club, starting a Netflix series, starting to exercise or improving his diet because of me. Those things are all positive things but some of them can be difficult if not downright painful. For some reason, the greater the change and the greater the sacrifice, the hotter it is to me. And when I say “hotter” I mean sexually. The more permanent the change, the stronger the endorphin rush I get.

Back to my college boyfriend. Before we started playing with chastity, that boyfriend surprised me with a small tattoo of a whale on his ankle. It was for me, in honor of me. (If you know me, you know I’m a bit of a whale nut.) That permanent little mark in his flesh enflamed me. We made love for hours afterward. I remember running my fingertips over it knowing that it would never come off.

When I broke up with that same boyfriend a year later I wanted to see that tattoo. He was sitting on my couch and it was totally visible peeking out from under his pant leg. I remember being drenched, just quaking with the squishy shivers knowing that he was about to become an afterthought in my life and yet he’d bare that tattoo forever. (And yes, he still has it. He showed it to me last year when I ran into him at a mall. :-) :-) :-) ) 

Changing men permanently in a way that persists even after I’m no longer in their daily lives is my ultimate turn-on.

How do you play?

So, as you can imagine, chastity play is a great way to make a lasting mark on a guy and a very deep and sexual way. I love all forms: physical device chastity, hypnotic chastity and yes, even “on my honor” chastity. I love it in person. I love it over the web. I find it doesn’t make all that much difference in the experience.

A word on security

Security in chastity, and by that I mean that the man is unable to escape, is of the utmost importance. I have found that it’s generally very easy to make chastity 100% secure but it’s not in the way you might think. A device or hypnosis does not need to do the heavy lifting of enforcing prison-grade security. It just needs to be strong enough or tamper-resistant enough to prevent momentary lapses in judgment. The security comes from the addiction that chastity play creates in the male mind.

Chastity creates an addiction. The constant sexual high releases a slow drip of endorphins that lasts all day long. Once he’s addicted, he’ll be his own toughest warden. He’ll keep coming back to it again and again, seeking that same high he got the first time and seeking to lengthen out that bliss which denial produces. If you haven’t experienced it you’ll probably never understand it. I think I know now, after locking up so many guys and making them explain to me their every emotion with wide eyes and in great detail.