ā¦youāre not ready.

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@box5intern
ā¦youāre not ready.

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Brad Little (with Kristi Holden)
I quote this and laugh to myself very, very often.
lie to me

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Hey queen. Do you know when Christineās started whispering the beginning of ToM? (Were listening to an old Rebecca Luker audio and she just sings it straight) my theory would be this is a Sierra-ism but idk
Hello!
Oh, I'd definitely argue that it came before Sierra Boggess, even before Las Vegas era Sierra Boggess circa 2006. Many of the early Christines definitely started off strong; to paraphrase another Rebecca, Rebecca Caine, Christine was meant to be someone who audiences believed could realistically replace Carlotta, her vocal match if you will, so some of those late 80s Christines would swing into 'Think of Me' with an attitude of, "Yeah, I got this!"
But by the early 2000s that had changed to Christine being much more nervous and unsure of herself and, yes, basically whispering through the first lines of 'Think of Me' (sometimes even deliberately cracking on a note, e.g. Gina Beck). For me, the first person I noticed doing this was Rachel Barrell, who started in 2004 (so definitely before Boggess!). However Christines were playing the song nervously years before her, even if they were not necessarily whispering; in this video from the West End in 1988 of Jan Hartley Morris, you can see that they're already doing that thing where Christine looks off to the side like she wants to flee the stage and only stays when Madame Giry bangs her cane, something that was not present with Rebecca Caine in the same production just a year earlier (she does look off to the side briefly but doesn't seem to need more encouragement than what she gets from Meg). Interestingly, since the Rebecca Luker video is from 1989, it would appear that the change did not quite make it to Broadway until a little later.
tour! musings
Coming out of my cage and Iāve been doing just meh BUT myself and comrade @emotionalmotionsicknessxx caught the tour twice in Portland this weekend and will it heal me? Weāll see. If it doesnāt idk.
Iāll have a lot more to say on the pod. I loved it all. Midori Marsh is changing lives. Carrington Vilmont is finally fulfilling his destiny. Jordan Lee Gilbert is my living wife, sorry if thatās news to her.
The man Isaiah Bailey.
ā¦do you know how good you have to be for me to forget about how Iād have liked to see Bronson and in fact we missed seeing him by like 3 ppl in front of us in the matinee rush line? Sure, Iām bummed we didnāt get into the performance where he went on but if any of that was lingering within me that evening, it was simply knocked out of me by the time first lair was in full swing. Just not possible to be watching and listening to this man and be anything other thanā¦Iād say enchanted. On Friday I was sitting there thinking āwowā¦soā¦even on theā¦RIKter scaleā¦this has to beā¦likeā¦so this is actually what was being described in the original text, itās this voice right here.ā
Just immediately on the JOJ tier for me of āok but this Rik is Built Different.ā I got to see JOJ twice and Iām so glad I got to see Isaiah twice too, because he somehow sounded even better!? on Saturday, and our seats at that second show were better in such a way that I was able to really see and appreciate so many more of his subtle choices. I gotta stop forgetting to get seats on the right whenever possible.
Iām not NOT considering making a trip up to Seattle to clown there as well. I did miss seeing my Queen Lisa Vroman both times but I saw two different understudies for Madame Giry and they were both fantastic so I just canāt complain.
Lo these many years after seeing the show the the first time in junior high school, I still just felt so giddy and delighted at the Overture. Rounds 18 and 19, respectively, and it just looked and sounded as wonderful as ever. To me. I know there have been changes. I know. But I saw restaged last time it was here, and not yet being part of Phantom Of the Opera Dark Web I was like āohā¦well. If thatās just the way the tour IS nowā¦whatever people like, I guess? Oh, good. The real one is still playing in NY and London. Maybe I can go see it again sometime. Good to know itās still out there.ā This is close enough to the original for me, personally, to be more than fine, and thatās just me but I loved it. Five stars would recommend.
Omw to see @box5intern
Us enjoying responsible, if not responsibly priced, mocktails š š¹
are we back idk Ā āCaira!ā Exclaimed her mother in a tone that bordered on sharpness. āWeāre going to talk about this at home. We donāt lie and we donāt trick people intoācoming with us just because itās Christmasāā āBut mommy,ā Caira interrupred. āIĀ wantedĀ Uncle Rik to come with us.ā She stated this as though it explained everything. As though that were the end of it, and so obvious she was somewhat surprised that she even had to say it. She said it as though she were her motherās daughter through and through. āCaira,ā sighed Luciana. āNowāapologize and get in the car, sweetheart, dadās going to wonder why weāve been gone so longāā āItās really not necessaryāā began Erik. The tears were coming. He knew it, he just knew it. It may already be too late. He shot one longing glance up at his safe, isolated, child-free penthouse, beforeā āIām s-sorry, Uncle Rik,ā begain Caira, looking up at him, eyes enormous. GodDAMMIT. She had inherited that, too. What was it? Was it some kind of genetic thing? How did they do that? Her lip trembled and she glanced downard sorrowfully, letting one little crystaline tear slide down her cheek. She was even better at it than Luciana had been. Erik was so luridly fascinated that he didnāt react quickly enough when she reached out, was unable to stop the child from taking his big ungainly hand between her little mittened onesā Not the fuckingĀ mittens, Erik groaned internally. He wondered if heād ever felt so fearfully uncertain about what awaited him next. He tried to slide his hand away from the childās woolen grasp, but she clamped down with a force that reminded him of a Rottweiler, all the time maintaining a face of angelic, heartbroken innocence.Ā A few more tears came as Caira looked back up at him, her tragic little face a contrast to the cheerful effect of her bright coat and little hat andāyes, the mittens, good lord, had she actually planned all of this out when sheād woken up this morning? Eight years old and planningāplanning deception and subterfuge on this level?! Now she was beginning to burble about how sorry she was, it was just that she didnāt want him to be alone on Christmas, and she knew lying was very bad and wrong and that she was being very wicked, but, but, butā
Erik wasnāt sure how intelligible any of it was to passers-byāwhy of all times did there have to be passers-by now, there were never passers-by in front of his home. But there were now and they were all glaring at him, aāspectre, looming over this adorable little Christmas elf with her tear-stained face all the brighter because of the cold.Ā Luciana watched with what Erik recognized as a mix of embarassment, exasperation, andāhe supposed he couldnāt blame herāammusement. āI JUST DIDNāT WANT YOU TO SPEND CHRISTMAS ALONE, UNCLE RIK,ā Caira sobbed in a voice that Erik recognized as one intended to carry. This child has auditioned for things, he realized. Luciana undid her seatbelt and leaned across the passenger seat in an attempt to collect her spawn, but the little girl neatly stepped out of the way without even turning to look.Ā
The doorman was looking at them and shaking his head now. āIāmaybe for a few hours,ā Erik said, just needing all of this to stop.Ā āYay,ā Caira said, wiping her tears aside with the soft mittens and giving an enthusiastic little hop. The radiant beam had returned and her eyes were back to a size adjacent to normal.Ā
I canāt believe I made the beautiful amazing talented IRL friends that I did from this here phantom of the opera dark web and I know I need to focus on that but my goodness
ā¦I also lurk and some of the girlies have an unhappy, spiteful energy that makes me think it must genuinely suck to simply not be able to enjoy things and dynamics in which they are not the focus.

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Things Nobody Asked For: Rik Notes Vol 1
listening to my audios and yapping at my notes app
Rik notes:
Labeled first preview but Iāve read itās not? I donāt think it is. Early days thought.Ā
Different Carlotta think of me lyricsĀ
Christine not feeble and frightened at the beginning of TOM
STEBE
Love her lil classic cadenzaĀ
I think she sounds great!! Many of the girlies claim they could do this AND YET
Mikeyyyyyyy
No echoed āChristineā¦ā yetĀ
Idk man isnāt taking in riddles EXACTLY like her?
She says ābecause you ran into the seaā cuteĀ
I like that line āno one could have sung as you did tonight withoutā¦ā from Stebe
She says the angel of music is very strict with SUCH dizzy conviction. Sarah brightman get behind meĀ
I know the girlies were shook at condorman and Frank Spencer behaving THUSLY onstage. Michael Crawford horny on main gotta see it to believe itĀ
Heās really hollering at unmasking and I can hear her YELP and then sheās whimpering and I like that idkĀ
I like to hear a reactionĀ
Nice shuddering sob noiseĀ
I donāt want to get back on hinge i donāt want to go bouldering I donāt want to talk to another man named M*tt as long as I live I want a fifty year old man in an opulent bathrobe he never got around to returning to crawl on the ground toward me, sobbingĀ
Lmao Andre shook at āof the most amiable natureā he said blinking white guy dot gif
After first the crazy rik note Meg said āoh Christineā good n loud (Lina Lamont voice)Ā
Quality cackling mc
Godddd his wheezing sobbing noises truly unparalleledĀ
Aw I love applause for the beginning of MasqueradeĀ
She sounds so lovely at wishing likeĀ
Maybe thatās duh butĀ
Zoned out, untangling my yarnĀ
Down once more heās flubbing a little bit in a way I likeĀ
Stebe!! He JUMP. Truly the biggest reaction of the audioĀ
Nobody sounds like a Broken Creachur like the man Michael Crawford
I like when you can hear the person taking audio kinda snivelingĀ
The orchestrations sound different and just..greatĀ
Man I love this show š„¹
I have a Ben Lewis story. Itās actually the anniversary of this story this week.
Context: My husband Julian and I had been best friends for eight years at this point. He was living in London and I came over to visit him. There was some unresolved romantic tension throughout this whole trip, too much. I was deep in denial, but by my final night, seeing Phantom, I was at breaking point. I wrote about this here a little while back.
We saw Phantom. We had Kelly Mathieson and Ben Lewis. I was delighted to see we had an Australian Phantom and at the end of Act 1 I was buzzing because they were both brilliant. Kellyās Christine was bubbly, vivacious, headstrong, I was obsessed with her take. Benās Phantom was dramatic and gorgeous, just as over the top as you want but with a bundle of raw nerves on display. Julian loved it, not a hint of irony or trying to impress me: he just loved it.
Once the show finished I dragged Julian to the stage door. I always bring my copy of the Leroux novel to the stage door for Phantomās and Christineās to sign. They are typically delighted and baffled by this request. There was a crowd of people at the stage door, it looked like a group of excited theatre students with their teacher. I explained to Jules that the Phantom would be the last one out as his makeup removal takes some time. We hung out with Kelly, talking about how she got the role by chance.
Eventually we see a man who looks remarkably like Ben Lewis emerge from the stage door. He doesnāt approach the crowd, instead performatively creeping around the group. Heās very tall, so though he crouches the effect is ridiculous. The crowd quietens, we giggle, everyone watching him.
Suddenly he stands up, looming over the crowd. He then blows a kiss and legs it down the road. Heās gone. We all roar with laughter, Kelly included. She shrugs and looks at me āHeās really shy!ā
This is my favourite thing that has ever happened at any stage door. It was so Phantom in a way. Ben was an immeasurable talent, a beautiful performer and from my small experience, a very funny man. Watching him again in Love Never Dies I am bowled over with how honestly and beautifully he played a role that is fundamentally ridiculous. He teases out humanity of a role that should not work and despite my better judgement I am moved.
I learned of his cancer diagnosis shortly after my father-in-lawās brain cancer diagnosis this year. I sent Ben money and have been thinking a lot about him lately. During my own familyās nightmare with cancer, Phantom has been a big coping mechanism for me. Long nightsā waiting for Julian to come home after caring for his dad, cooking batches of food for my in-laws, driving across Sydney incessantly, Phantom was my soundtrack and comfort. Ben has been part of that. My father-in-law died a month ago. Four months between diagnosis and death. Itās a lot.
Letās go back to London, 3rd October 2017. Later that night, after Ben ran from us, I told my husband I felt there was something unresolved between us. We kissed (well we made out for eight hours) and Julian decided to move back to Sydney. We have been together since then. We got married three years ago. The night I saw Ben Lewis in Phantom is also the night my life changed.
Thank you Ben š
I just heard the news that Australian musical theatre actor Ben Lewis has died, due to bowel cancer.
I got to see Ben as the Phantom in the Sydney production of Love Never Dies. His performance was absolutely captivating. His mannerisms as the Phantom were very classic Universal Monster acting. Wide-eyed, slow graceful movements. He made the role his own, and it was wonderful to witness.
He was definitely one of our best theatre actors. My condolences to his family and loved ones.
actually I speak french in a more different and special way than anyone else has ever and furthermore I found a secret special original manuscript and ...his name was actually just Rik all along so--

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Hugh's AIAOY Reprise (with my heavy breathing and whispering)
Backstreet's Back (I say for the 87th time)
Thank you @ashadeintheshade for tagging me and sorry to anyone else who tagged me for the past couple years and I just didn't see it. Immersive Rik brought me BACK.
Which one of these WIPS should I work on:
Fairytale of New York (modern AU heavy on Luciana/Erik backstory)
E/C Tudor AU
1800's Teen Kerik/Luciana AU but she doesn't die
Positions
I think everyone else I'd tag is already tagged?!