The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols
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The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols

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catching up on new book releases and...
a paris vampire theater cult lead by the vampire ar...nault who is distracted from coven politics by his new vampire boyfriend and his sister? incredible.
BILL NIGHY as MR. WOODHOUSE EMMA. (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde
Yeah Mr. Darcyâs proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And sheâs everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesnât go out of her way to spend time with you but sheâs nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, itâs p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then youâre financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already youâre accepting that if all goes well, youâre gonna be one random old bagâs retirement home. Thatâs expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girlyâs other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably wonât be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like itâs toilet paper
And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedoâing her entire familyâs reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. Sheâs never gonna work, she canât build connections, sheâs a fucking sinkhole, and sheâs being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit whoâs been bleeding you dry while telling anyone whoâll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- youâve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW sheâs gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and itâs not like you can lock her in the basement or something, youâre gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. Sheâs not even good to TALK to. FUCK
And youâre looking at this girlâs father like âplease for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their rĂ©sumĂ©, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the graveâ and that old man just laughs like âhaha yeah, what can you do. lolâ
So youâre looking to the mom and finally itâs making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is youâre starting to realize sheâs the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like theyâre a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it sheâs still the most radiant thing youâve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, youâll do it. Youâll shoot your shot. Sheâs everything youâve ever wanted in anybody abut itâs not even just about that anymore, itâs about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesnât like you all that much sheâs still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing itâs about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesnât LOVE you at least youâll know sheâs well and cared for
And so youâll do it. Youâll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, youâll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and youâll make your own family deal with it too, youâll do it, youâll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like âlook. Your whole familyâs a shitshow. Youâve got fucking nothing and youâre gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I donât get it either- Iâve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didnât, but I did, so Iâm telling you that whether you like me or not, Iâll give you everything. Iâll give you everything even if itâs the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, Iâll marry you.â
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes âThe fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?â
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah
Yeah, I think I kinda get it
PRIDE & PREJUDICE (2005) Dir. Joe Wright

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Did you ever get the chicken pox?
Yes
No
Had the vaccine
Did you ever get the chicken pox?
Yes
No
Had the vaccine
Mr Darcy: So I have learned from Elizabeth that Jane is in fact in love with you.
Mr Bingley: Oh my gosh, that's wonderful! When did Elizabeth tell you this?
Mr Darcy: When I proposed to her.
Mr Bingley: ...
Mr Darcy: ...
Mr Bingley: You proposed to the sister of the woman you said I shouldn't marry because of her family's unsuitability?
Mr Darcy: If it helps... she said no
Mr Bingley: *tackling him to the floor*
Never forget this iconic moment
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) dir. Daniel Kwan & Daniel ScheinertÂ
eeaao holds a special place in my heart because as an only child of chinese parents, i felt represented in western media in ways iâve never been before.
and as someone who speaks mandarin, i always tell people that this scene was mistranslated. the translation, rather than "I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you", is actually "if there were other lives, i would still choose to do laundry and taxes with you".
i think it's a shame that they didn't put the actual translation, although the sentiment is mostly there. the translation connotes that waymond in that world has fame, but would have enjoyed a simple life with evelyn doing laundry and taxes.
the original dialogue alludes to how if there are other lives, infinite universes where everything is possible, everything you could dream of exists, he would pick the simple life, because that's how much he loves her. he loves her so much that doing laundry and taxes would be enough for him as long as he is with her.
"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are

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reminder for all hockey fans:
netflix is making a hockey show called "the sticks" that is based on a very real tragedy that occured in canada in 2018.
the show follows a minnesota high school team after their bus crashes and coming back to hockey afterwards.
in 2018, the humboldt broncos' (a junior A team made up of 18-22 year olds) bus was hit by a tractor trailer on a highway intersection. 16 people (10 players, 2 coaches, and 4 team staff members) were killed, along with 13 other players severely injured.
the memory of the humboldt broncos crash is an incredibly sensitive subject carrying a lot of trauma to both the survivors, their families, and deceased's families. the trajectory of hockey in canada was changed significantly after this tragedy.
despite this, netflix has decided to make a show using the death of young hockey players for profit. they did not consult the survivors, nor the deceased's families. they stole a canadian story for a feel-good cash grab.
i understand wanting to watch shows about hockey, but this is not the show to watch. do not give it attention, as the humboldt broncos' memories deserve to be theirs and theirs alone to share.
This is how Netflix advertises the show btw⊠Theyâre calling it âyour new hockey obsessionâ. Itâs disgusting.
WTF?! This is so fucked up. Do not watch this shit.
hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel
500 MILES?!?!?!
Me and my girlfriend did a lil photo shoot in our regalia back in December
Oh weâre engaged now btw đ
âredditors need to know thisâ, âtwitterinas need to know thatâ⊠no. you need to know one thing and that is that you are not allowed to complain about werewolf fuckers. this is the werewolf fucking website. grow up and go fuck a werewolf.
What does this gif have to do with werewolves?
if you have to ask youâre not ready
can you explain? i donât get it
This is like someone just informed the newcomers about the devils sacrament taking place every full moon and the devil itself popped up asking âwhat sacrament?â with a cheshire grin.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch â 2.02: Sabrina Gets Her Licence (Part 2)

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Sabrina the Teenage Witch | 3.06 - "Good Will Haunting"
SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH (1996 - 2003)