letter to the lost

if i didn’t keep you on your toes, sugar, you’d get bored with me! you’re not wrong – if you need time or space, you ask, none of that shit you pulled the last time. you’re heading back to london now that you’re done with that thing in paris, right? and you know i’ll be around to visit – if you’re headed home, i think i might fly there on friday because i don’t think i’m going to do well over the holidays without the boys. i’ve already cried a few times thinking about being without them – so i hope the invitation to join you for the holiday is still on the table. truth be told i forgave you halloween night, just had to make you sweat a little. it’s in the past though, okay? honestly, the idea of taking them to japan is a good one – i know they will love that! i think i might give them a couple of hints that we’re taking them on a trip before they go to their dads – i just know they’re going to be excited, especially since it’s going to be a vacation with you again. i was really happy in bora bora, and i’m glad you suggested it because i think it’s what we both needed it, and i think we both needed the time with just each other. i also didn’t want to leave and i might be missing you – but i’m happy i’m getting some time with the boys before they head to their dads. i’m mean to you never, stop telling lies. how is your skin feeling though? did anyone at the convention poke fun at you? they probably weren’t expecting you to be anything other than pale. i had a strong feeling you enjoyed seeing me without clothing – and i’m pretty sure it was both of our pleasure having me naked twenty-four-seven, and you as well. i’ll admit the struggle was real having to finally put something on to fly home, they really should come up with a nudist airline, that’s how i’d fly everywhere! i think we made the very best of the whole vacation, but the last few days were my favorites. and they’ve already got me looking forward to seeing you again.

I couldn’t imagine a time when I would ever be bored of you, love. Don’t see myself needing space, but I know that I’ll never pull the bullshit that I pulled before, yeah? I’ve realised how wrong I was and that’s a mistake I won’t make again. Even though I know you were missing your boys, and you’re still missing them, I’m glad you came to London to spend the holidays with me, love. And I’m glad you’re sticking around to have New Years in Paris together. I just hope you start feeling better by then, baby, so you can have some fun and because I hate seeing you so miserable. Since you think Japan is a good idea, I’ll start making all the arrangements. Did the boys get any of the hints you gave them? Are they excited? I know I’m looking forward to going on a holiday with them again, and of course, always looking forward to more time with you. I agree that Bora Bora was something we both needed, love, and I missed you the moment we went our separate ways. I had to talk myself out of following you to LA, yeah? You’re mean to me always, but as you recall I like when you’re mean to me, it turns me on. As you’ve seen for yourself, my skin is back to normal and no one poked fun at me at the convention. I think they were mostly jealous that I was in paradise with someone as hot as Megan Fox. And they didn’t even know the part about how you were naked almost always while we were there, then they’d have really been jealous. They’ll be even more jealous if they hear about the trip I got you for Christmas, yeah? We’ll also have to let some rich person know they need to open up a nudist airline for us, you can be their spokesperson! I think we had a fantastic holiday though, and you know I look forward to more trips with you, love. So it’s good that we’ve got a few planned. But right now I’m just happy you’re here in London, especially since you keep buying me new furniture and I needed a hand in decorating my flat!  And thank you for all the gifts that you got me for Christmas, I loved every one of them! But I’ll say that couch is my favourite and I think you need to help me break it in when you’re feeling a little better, yeah?

After an amazing weekend at Paris con it’s finally time to head home and have some down time for the Holidays. I’ve been a busy lad so haven’t had time to get my flat ready for the holidays so you can beat your butt that’s the first thing I’m doing when I get there. I do have a question though, how much decorating is too much? We only have 5 days left till Christmas so should I go all out or keep it light? I do love the holiday vibes so maybe I need to make up for being late to the decorating game.

@gonehollywoodstarters​

I’m a little disappointed in you, mate, because even though I hopped around the world to a bunch of conventions. And even went on a holiday, I still decorated for Christmas nearly a month before Christmas. Sounds like you were just being a slacker, mate. I had a gothic Christmas theme going on in my flat and it looked amazing, so I don’t think you can ever decorate too much as long as it makes you, happy, yeah? So what did you end up doing? Going all out like you should have done in the first place?

Asshole move, I can admit that. Though we do some stupid shit when we’re scared too, and I think it matters most if you just tell the truth and see where that goes. Here’s hoping it’s to better places for you by now, and yes, the might be my low key way of asking for an update on the situation. And if it’s bad, at least we can get together and drown your troubles in good ice cream, seeing as how we have the same kinds as favorites. Alex was insane for that film, though I’m fine not having to hit the gym as much as he did. Isn’t part of self confidence accepting ourselves anyway? I think we’ve got this in the bag. Trust me, I want to fire him all the time. Especially when my trainer tries to limit what I eat because that will near drive a man insane. I don’t know, you sort of have a Slender Man vibe and I’m going to be sad if you tell me you’ve never dressed up as him. I’m always willing to give travel tips on Sweden, whenever you get the chance to fly here! A little something for everyone, especially around the holidays. Did you end up getting to travel to either place? And you seriously don’t because I’d have thought twenty something for sure if you hadn’t told me your age.

Thankfully being honest and telling her why I was scared has worked in my favour, mate, and we're doing brilliantly. But even though I’m not having anything bad going on, we can still get together and eat good ice cream! I’ll never say no to that. I’m happy I don’t have to hit the gym like Alex either, and not just because I’d never turn up looking how he looked. It just sounds bloody awful. My trainer tries that same nonsense and I think I should be allowed to eat what I want if I’m working out. My last trainer tried to say I was eating too much fruit that had sugar in it, when did fruit start being bad if you ate a lot of it? I’ve never dressed up as Slender Man before, but now you make me feel like I have to so I won’t make you sad. Don’t be scared when I show up at your house looking like him, mate. Even though I’ve just got back from Bora Bora and have been travelling all over the place, you make me want to visit Sweden right now! I didn’t get to travel to either place I had talked about visiting, because I had a lot of conventions to deal with all over the world. But Bora Bora made up for missing out on those and I’m planning another trip to Japan soon, I’m taking Megan and her sons there since she didn’t get to be with them during Christmas. Mate, you just keep flattering me. Thank you, I feel good knowing someone thought I was 20 something! And how were your holidays? I know you’ve got a little one, did you spoil her like mad? And did you get spoiled a little yourself?

  Man, you don’t know the half of it. I had a flu or the stomach bug at the beginning of this tour as well. There was so much that went on, I’m just glad it’s been smooth sailin’. That pho was amazing and hit the spot perfectly. Pleasure is all mine, Jamie. We are having a blast, just like I said, I’m missing my daughter so much that it’s making these days go slow. As much fun as I’m having, I miss her in my arms at the end of the night. Oooo, tell me about Japan. I get to be there February fifteenth so I’m excited. I was in Germany not too long ago too, ain’t that crazy. I’m hoping California greets me with some nice weather when I go back home. I miss surfing, that’s the first place I’m hittin’ up.

Sounds like you’ve had a bit of a rough go a few times, I’m sorry to hear that, love, though I hope you’re feeling better now. Since I’m a bit of a slug when it comes to reaching out to people, are you done with your tour now? And are you back with your daughter? Japan was amazing, and I’m already planning on going back because I’m taking my girlfriend and her sons there. Germany is always a fun time, I did a little surfing when I was in Bora Bora. I never surfed before and I got laughed at, but it was fun, yeah? If you’re back home, have you got to surf yet? I’m at home in London right now for the holidays, my girls kids were with their dad so it was just the two of us, and you’ll likely not be shocked to know it’s bloody freezing right now. Already missing the warm weather.

For @foxmeg​​, wishing you a Happy Christmas!

i can’t believe that i’m the first person to ask you this question – that makes me sad, like what kind of world are we living in that people aren’t asking you this left and right? though now you have me curious about what weirder things people have asked because i want to see if i can top it. thank god you can’t see me right now, because i just fist pumped in the air that you agreed. i want to see your handsome face – you better be facetiming me for this! it means a lot to me that you realize our friendship is so important that you’ll dirty talk in the vecna voice to me, that’s real friendship. obviously, i want you to call me daddy because i’m just picturing that in my head right now in that voice, and all i can say is wow. other than that – go wild my dude, and the dirtier the better.

I have to question how many people you think to reach out to me and ask me to talk dirty to them. Because you’ll be surprised how few people do, mate I think you’re maybe 1 in 3 of the people that have asked me to talk dirty to them and the first in that voice. I’ve had women ask me to have sex with them in a coffin, is that weirder? I feel as if it is. I appreciate that you wanted to see my handsome face, but I felt as if I was blushing the whole time. Did my FaceTime meet your expectations? Are we still good friends? Because I’d be devastated if we were no longer mates, yeah? I also can’t believe you got me to call you daddy in that voice and we’re never going to speak about it again! I hope you appreciate how dirty I got because I don’t think I’ve even spoken that dirty to Megan. She videoed me talking dirty to you and now laughs at said video, so thank you for that because I’m blaming you for it happening.

okay, it’s no secret i haven’t been feeling the christmas-y vibes this year and for somebody who loves the holiday with every fibre of her being to the point of being lovingly labelled as ‘over the top’ has been rough ─ and i wasn’t sure i would be getting it back at all. but! after visiting the incredible christmas market in dortmund this past weekend i can joyfully say the christmas spirit is back in full swing and i have no intention of letting it slip through my fingers so i’m making it a must to visit all the christmas related events at each new place i’ll be visiting over the next few weeks. next up is melbourne and i’m told there’s a christmas roller - rink and carnival! and if you need me, that’s where i’ll be for the foreseeable future. anyway, let me stop rambling so i can hand over the mic to ask what are some of your favorite activities to do over the holidays? delight me with all the details, please! i’d love to hear what you lovely humans have planned. 

 ⠀  ⠀  ⠀  ⠀  ⠀  ⠀  ⠀  ⠀  ⠀  ⠀  ⠀    ⠀ ⠀ ( ⠀ @gonehollywoodstarters​. ⠀ ) 

Is there a reason for your not so Christmas-y vibes, love? Though it seems like you’ve attempted to make up for your lack of Christmas cheer, yeah? Even though I’m a fan of the holidays myself, I don’t think I’ve ever had all that much Christmas spirit. I’ve always just celebrated the holidays with my family and loved ones, and that was good enough for me. Though I don’t mind a bit of shopping at Christmas markets and having a little Christmas fun at events of the like. I don’t have any favourites, though I don’t mind a little ice skating during the holidays and a little decorating that’s all. I also love to eat, is that a good Christmas activity? I don’t have much planned, once I’m done with my holiday to Bora Bora, I’ve got some work things and then I’ll just be home in London with my family. What do you have planned for the holidays? Will you be with your family?

Have you? Because in my case, it’s certainly proving to be true with how much I love them! We’re always trying to be better about taking care of ourselves as well, having our parents watch the girls for us when we need some extra time. And they’re certainly always thrilled with the chance to be alone with the girls and not have our holding limits, though I like to think we’ve gotten a little better at them in the month or so we’ve had them. It’s the truth though, that there’s no cuddles quite like baby cuddles! And our twins might be the best cuddlers of all, but just my opinion there. How was your holiday in Iceland? I’m hoping things went smoothly with the sharing space, and you had a good time there. Vecna’s a popular guy, can you blame them? Though if it makes you feel better, I much prefer you over Vecna because you know I scare too easily. You never have to apologise, and of course it’s always good seeing you! I’m glad you had a little time in Iceland to see us and the girls. Feel free to being us food anytime, especially if it’s lasagna and pastries! I’ll just put that out there. We had a wonderful time! Went camping with the girls, and since our mums came along to watch them while we were doing less baby-friendly things like a date night and the midnight party at the springs. My only complaint is the holiday didn’t last longer, even if it’s been good to be at home. By the way, I heard someone had a birthday recently! Happy birthday to you, mate! Did you have a good day?

What have you been getting up to when you need some extra time? I can imagine that your folks are thrilled with no time limit holding they've been getting when they watch the girls for you, but have you gotten better about your time limits? Especially since your girls are the best at snuggles, I have a feeling everyone wants a go! My holiday went brilliantly in Iceland and getting to spend time with Megan’s sons as well as her was a treat. I’ve never had much experience with kids, but her lads are good and it was a great time. Don’t mind my heart beating a little faster at hearing you prefer me over Vecna! Even if you scare easily, I’m taking that as a proper win, mate! I hope you enjoyed the lasagna and pastries I dropped off before I had to head to Japan, and I was happy to see the little ones one more time before I had to hit the road! I love hearing how good of a time you had in Iceland, and love hearing that you went camping as I love to camp! Plus love that you were able to have some alone time with your wife, and get to do some less than baby friendly things! We enjoyed the midnight party at the springs as well, and I had thought I saw you, but I believe a lot of couples just did their best to be alone and I couldn’t blame you, yeah? I’m on holiday again right now in Bora Bora and feel you on that mate, it’s gone by far too fast and it’s almost our last night here. Though I think I saw you were on holiday as well, yeah? Thanks for the birthday wish, mate! It was a pretty good one, I got to spend it with family and that’s always brilliant! I also got some great coffin related gifts that I’m keen to put in my flat, the moment I get a lengthy bit of time at home.

i guess i can accept only being predictable on some things – i like to have some surprises in me left, so i can keep you on your toes, right? but i did get what i needed, so thank you again for giving me that time. and i can’t wait to see what your place looks like with the coffin stuff, i know it’s going to look fantastic! hey, you can stop beating yourself up so much for your fucking up – i’ve forgiven you, okay? so, you don’t have to make yourself feel like trash for it anymore. i like the idea of planning something with the boys after christmas, and i know they’d love to go back on vacation with you again. where should we go do you think? i’ll be honest, i believe you now when you say you’re going to stick around. you’ve been making an amazing effort, sugar. i’m glad you had a great time in japan and i would have loved to go with you, i’ve not been there in ages! you already know i love the resort you booked in bora bora – it’s breathtaking and you already know i’m obsessed with diving into the water off our private deck! plus you know i love having a private pool as well, it’s perfect. it’s been a great vacation so far though, and i’ll admit the alone time with you has been rather nice, though i do miss my boys. i hope you know i’m laughing at that statement – since you’re a little on the crispy side right now, your pale body could not handle the sun as i stated! lucky for you i’m very willing to treat your poor crispy skin with an aloe rubdown. though, you should have never tempted me with clothing optional, because you know i live to be naked twenty-four-seven. so really, if you think about it, it’s your fault your exposed skin got so red!

You always keep me on my toes, love, and I’m pretty sure that’s something you’re more than aware of, yeah? I was happy to give you the time that you need and I’ll always give you that space, and I know you’ll always do the same for me. The moment I get some time in London, I’ll start setting it up, and you’ll be around to visit, yeah? Thank you, love, I guess I needed to hear again that you’ve forgiven me. I’ll try to stop making myself feel like trash, but sometimes I can’t help but beat myself up for hurting you as I did. I’m up for any kind of holiday with them, do they have a favourite place they like to visit? Or is there a place they’ve been wanting to visit, but haven’t? I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that, that means the world to me that you believe me. You’ve given me an idea though, would your boys like to go to Japan? Since it’s been a while for you, maybe we can go there with them? I love seeing how happy you’ve been in Bora Bora, and love watching you drive into the water from the private deck, and of course, joining you in the water! And spending so much time in the private pool as well, yeah? It’s been the perfect holiday, baby, and I’ve loved all this alone time with you, though I’m not surprised you miss your boys. I hope you get a little time with them before they’re with their dad for Christmas. You’re mean to me sometimes, so I’m not at all surprised that you’re laughing at my crispy skin! But you’re also very good to me, love, and I thank you for giving me so many aloe rubdowns. I’ll never regret tempting you with clothing optional since I do enjoy seeing you without clothing. Believe me, it’s my absolute pleasure having you naked 24-7. I’ll gladly take fault for my exposed skin being red, especially if that keeps you in the clothing optional mindset. We’ve only got a few more days left, and I want to make the best of them, and very little clothing will help with that, yeah?

i hate that i’m that kind of predictable – but i think the time during my silence was pretty helpful, for the most part. it does make me happy to know that you loved my presents, and even happier knowing that i know you better than most, but the moment i saw all that coffin stuff, i knew it was meant for you! but thank you, jamie, for being understanding – and also knowing that it wasn’t anything you did, i just needed to clear my head a whole lot. the whole week in iceland with you and the boys was pretty intense. but i’d be happy with you spending more time with the boys, especially since they want to hang out with you. and it means a lot hearing that you don’t plan on going anywhere, i want to believe that. i saw some of the pictures and it looked like you were enjoying japan, did you have fun? and you already know i love the idea of going to bora bora – since i’m currently about to catch a flight to meet you, but thank you for setting the vacation up for us. i’m looking forward to a little bit of paradise for a while, and i’ll admit i’m looking forward to spending some time with you, without the boys. i know your pale body hates the sun – but i hope you know i plan on spending as much time as humanly possible in that gorgeous water.

You’re not that predictable, love, just predictable on some things, yeah? I’m glad you got what you needed by being silent though, that’s what I was hoping for you. Oh, the coffin stuff is brilliant and I can’t wait to set it up properly in my flat once I’m finally there for some time! I’m always going to try and be understanding when it comes to you, love, especially after I fucked up so badly the last time, yeah? I know you’re not having the boys for Christmas, but maybe we can plan something after that? Take them on a bit of a holiday before they have to go back to school, what do you think? I know that my promises don’t mean shite when it comes to me saying I’m not going anywhere because of last time, but I do promise this time I’m sticking around. I loved Japan so much, it’s so bloody brilliant and beautiful there. It’s a shame you couldn’t come with me, I know you’d have enjoyed yourself. Only a few more hours and we’ll be seeing each other in Bora Bora and I can’t wait. Hopefully you end up liking the resort I booked, but since you can dive into the water right from our private deck, I have a feeling you will, yeah? It was my pleasure to set up the holiday though, and I’m looking forward to paradise with you as well, and some alone time with you also. Wow, baby, hit me right where it hurts. I can’t help that I’m pale, yeah? I’ll gladly soak in the sun with you and spend just as much time with you in the water as you like. And since our bungalow is very private, clothing is very much optional and my pale body will be just fine.

Recently while casually browsing the internet I stumbled upon a fan made image of myself wearing a Spider-Gwen costume. I’m not saying Marvel should cast me as Gwen, but I am saying that I would look fantastic in that suit. For once, encountering something about myself online did not leave me feeling some typa way. That was the highlight of my day today. Knowing my fans would love to see me as one of the coolest gals in the Marvel universe. Which leads me to ask, if you could portray any superhero who would it be and why?  

It’s rare that I casually browse the internet because I’m always worried about what I’m going to come across about myself, yeah? But I’m glad you came across something nice at least and am a bit curious about how fantastic you look in your Spider-Gwen costume image! I’ve always been a fan of Gwen, and I’m sure you’d do brilliantly as her, love. I’ve never really thought about being a superhero myself because I’ve never been into superheroes all that much. Which probably sounds awful to some people, yeah? What superhero do you believe I could pull off? Or would I be more of a villain?