the gods were never on our side

Showing a medieval person doritos this what about showing a roman soldier a good grilled cheese and tomato soup?

I would NEVER do something so kind for a roman

consider that the roman has no way to acquire tomatoes (new world crop) and thus you've doomed them to spend the rest of their life never having it again

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

You can lie when you name things

What am I gonna do with my one wild and precious life omg it can’t be phone in bed forever

always remember that adhesive labels can sense your fear and hesitation when you are removing them

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

In life you have 2 choices. U can lean with it or U can rock with it.

you cut me in line at the grocery store and next time you see me im wearing the collar your dead childhood dog used to wear

I can’t stop saying “what are we dOing? What’s GoingOn?” in the voice of jeremy culhane as tucker carlson

the fire alarm is unsettling and even scary for many but it has something important message to say